Family Business (Mixing Business with Pleasure Book 3)

by Ace Gray

  I gulped when I recalled the last conversation I’d had with Julia. At the end of the day, it had been all about very real and bottomless love. Not to mention how hard either one was.

  Nick’s hands dug into me hard enough to leave marks but I knew he didn't need rough sex, he needed affection. Or sleep. I sat up and pulled him along with me. He still smelled like booze and his movements were fuzzy. I eyed him warily and decided we had to find somewhere to really curl up together. I pulled the suit jacket that’d been my blanket over my shoulders as I stood. If anyone was lingering in the halls at this ungodly hour, they’d look the other way under these circumstances.

  I pulled him up and the first few steps out the door but then he took the lead. He pulled me into a room that the first fade from night was starting to illuminate. Dawn showed dark, bruise-like circles under his eyes as we passed the giant open window. I’d intended to take him to bed when the large marble tub caught my eye.

  Nick willingly followed me into the bathroom and stood, lost, as I drew a bath. Still a little vacant, he let me undress him. I shrugged out of his jacket and stepped into the warm water. I held out my hand to him. He eyed it for a while, like it was a poisonous snake, but eventually he took it. I folded into the water and pulled him down with me, his back to my front, and I wrapped my arms and legs around him like he'd done so many times for me.

  "Nick, relax."

  His muscles stayed taut and rigid in my arms.

  "Nicholas," I snarled and pulled him flush against my chest. He laid back and rested his head against my neck. I changed the pattern of my fingertips, and we sat like that until I was pruney. I had just reached for the shampoo when he decided to speak again.

  "I killed her, Kate."

  "How can you say something like that?" I hadn't meant to sound so appalled. “Nick, you cannot blame yourself for this."

  "Of course I can," he roared and splashed in the tub. "I let her come back here numerous times. I was the one that pissed off Francis in the first place. I was the one that provoked Christopher. I brought everything down on us, on my family, and I am being punished. Punished for being successful. Or happy. Or finding you. Fuck if I know. All I know is that my mother is dead. DEAD because of me!” he screamed the last bit and my heart thudded.

  He was so worked up that his body heaved; he didn’t notice my heart misbehaving. The exaggerated beats only lasted until his anger shifted back to tears.

  My poor, sweet, fiancé.

  I swiveled around so I could straddle him and look into his eyes. Horrific, dark pools met me. I refused to stare into black any longer.

  "You listen to me and you listen good, Nicholas Bryant. This is a horrible, awful thing. It makes my heart hurt and my stomach sick but it is not your fault. You did not send her to die. None of us begging her to get divorced did either. Christopher and Francis are fucked up, disgusting people. You can be sad, you can be angry, you can sit here like a zombie, you can drink scotch until you can't see straight. God knows I've been there. But you cannot blame yourself."

  I took a deep breath before continuing.

  "People around you don't get hurt because of you. That’s life. Beautiful, wonderful, tragic, terrible life. And I will spend the rest of mine telling you how wonderful you are. And how perfect you are for me and that my life is better because you’re in it. I vow to remind you constantly that none of this is even remotely your fault.”

  My voice had escalated, carried away with the depth of my emotion. I didn’t notice that his eyes churned as he reached for my face before he mashed my lips to his. He took my mouth but it was different than a few hours ago. My head was trapped as he kissed every inch of my lips and face but it was back to his usual firm grip. His tongue slipped in and out, tangling up with mine in a perfectly familiar, perfectly wonderful rhythm. I grabbed his biceps and pulled myself closer.

  In one swift move, his arms shifted and snaked around the small of my back. I didn’t hesitate to weave my arms around his neck. To my surprise Nick stood. There were no words, just the splashing and cascading of water back into the tub. I held on tight and let him carry me, dripping wet, to the bed. He pressed me down, his lips never leaving mine. I could feel sadness in his kiss but no longer the frantic desolation from before. It was too much to hope he’d forgiven himself but it was a start.

  Our skin slid across one another, beaded water everywhere. When he finally pressed into me, I gasped and my eyes shot open. Nick watched me intently as his hips started to roll against mine. His eyes were still stormy but the worst of the clouds were clearing.

  "I love you Nick.”

  He groaned and his eyes fluttered shut. My breath caught at the familiar cadence of us together. I was a weird combination of relief, sorrow, and delight as he lost himself in sex. He lifted my hips to meet his and it was his turn for his breath to falter.

  "You are perfect," I panted. "Perfect for me." His hand moved to my hip and he gripped. Hard. "I thank God, every day that I get you forever."

  His lips came crashing back down to mine. His hands moved back around me too. Without ever slipping out of me, he lifted me. My wet hair fell across my shoulders and grazed his skin. His skin goose bumped where the strands brushed against him. My chest was now pressed against his, my legs straddling his.

  Nick gripped the small of my back with one hand and the other wrapped around my shoulder blades. We couldn’t have gotten closer together if we tried. His hips moved in synchronicity with mine and my skin tingled anew with each thrust. I was able to whisper into his ear as we moved.

  “You will be my husband, but you already are my everything."

  With a flex of his hips, he sunk into me further and stayed there, holding me still. It was tight and almost too much. I expected his hand to move from my low back and clutch into my hips but he didn't move.

  He kissed me just below my ear and then whispered, “I need you."

  Nick’s voice was still wrong, a little weak, a little stifled, but I guessed his eyes would be closer to blue. He bit my earlobe and pulled as he started to thrust into me again. His legs shifted to spread my thighs wider.

  My hips wouldn’t roll very well against him anymore but he angled himself so I didn’t really need to. He moved repeatedly into me. All I could manage was to weave my hands into his hair and moan into his ear. The friction of his skin against my clit was too much. I was building, and fast, but I didn't want to come unless he’d be there with me.

  I cried out quietly in both pleasure and frustration. When the strangled sound fell from my lips, his ragged voice proved he still could read my mind.

  “Sweets, I'm so close. Please come. I want to feel you.” Relief washed over me. Relief he wasn't too wrapped up in punishing himself.

  Nick held me tighter and pushed up into me and paused again. Every inch of my skin was tingling against his. I couldn't help but moan into his ear. He threaded his hands into my hair and pulled the tiniest bit, just enough to plant his lips to the underside of my jaw. He gracefully arced up and gently bit my lip as he pulsed into me with shallow, rapid thrusts. I couldn't hold on any longer.

  I cried out as I started coming, squeezing hard on him. His fingertips digging into me told me he was in sync. Only a breath later his hot cum mixed with my rippling muscles and we slid against each other. I was breathing hard and mewling into his ear while his scraped on my skin. We sat there holding each other desperately.

  "What am I going to do, Sweets?"

  His voice was just as broken post-orgasm as it had been before. He rested his forehead into the crook of my neck and kissed me once. I shifted my hands so I could rub his shoulders but keep a hold on him too.

  "Mourn. Be horribly sad and terribly angry." I kissed him where I could reach. "Do whatever it is that you need to feel a little more normal and be in a little less pain each day."

  "You help."

  His hands wound into my hair.

  "I know how hard it is. Even now I remember."

 
Nine years hadn’t erased the pain of my parent's passing. Now it was just less sharp, less constant. I could feel it dull in the background each and every day.

  "Will you tell me about it?"

  His voice was so timid, so unlike himself.

  "What do you want to know?"

  I did my best to gather him in my arms again. He cuddled into my naked chest like a small little boy.

  "I don't know. Anything. Everything. We never really talked about it.”

  "Sure we did. I told you I was depressed and how I put the pieces together by creating Vesper."

  What else was there to say?

  Then it dawned on me. He was asking about this. The time when I was raw and scared and despondent. I swallowed hard. I’d never given voice to those emotions. Not even to Laura. My voice was unexpectedly shaky when I started.

  "I remember the police officers coming to my apartment. I couldn’t fathom a reason why they’d be there. I think I stared at them on the stoop for a while, trying to remember what the rules and caveats were for Police search and seizure.

  “It was raining. I don’t remember because of the weather but because of the rain droplets on the officer’s uniform. I watched them slide off his shoulders and then the toes of his boots. Laura was whispering in the kitchen on the phone and I remember thinking that it sounded more like hissing than her regular murmur as I showed the police in. Her face twisted when she saw the officers at the dining room table. Right then this boulder dropped into my stomach and I knew my whole world was collapsing."

  Nick pulled me in tighter. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to comfort me or if he was reliving his own memories.

  "I don't remember what they said after they told me about the car. It overturned on the coastal highway. The drizzle had turned icy. They slid and were clipped by an oncoming car. It started them spinning and they went up and over the guardrail. The car tumbled something like 200 yards down an embankment toward the ocean. It took a crane and two search and rescue teams to recover their…their bodies."

  I was choking on the words. Even now, my vision tunneled. Panic welled all over again. When my heart started thundering, Nick pulled me close and kissed my forehead. That kiss made the pain almost bearable. Almost.

  "I think Laura showed them out. I don't really remember. I ended up on the couch, staring. It was the first time I started counting dots in the texture on the painted wall. I do that, you know, when my mind races or I’m falling apart…

  “There still are no words to explain that feeling. I know Laura held me for a while, but the cold that came with that news was bone chilling. The violent sobs started when I realized I was alone, I might’ve cracked a rib. Who knows because my body ached all over. I couldn't make myself care about anything. Mostly because I couldn’t really feel anything.”

  "I feel like that now."

  His lips brushed against my skin as he spoke.

  "I know." I kissed his head where I could reach. "I hope you realize you still have me. And Ari. And in a weird way, Laura and Jaime too.”

  “Yeah… It’s just that there’s a million things I wish I'd said. Like I'm sorry for all the times I screwed up. Or thank you for always putting Ari and I first. Or even I love you." He clutched into me. "I should’ve said I love you more."

  "Baby, if I only know one thing about your mother, it’s that she knew."

  I pulled the covers up around us, lost in my own memories of Julia. Her eyes never twinkled but they were also never as blue as they were around Nick. She was proud, she adored him, she was excited for his future. Our future. My heart thudded once in my chest before settling into a slow, dull ache for her.

  Neither of us moved, neither of us spoke. Eventually Nick’s silence was replaced by soft, steady breathing.

  He sleeps. Thank God.

  In this light it was easy to study him. The sadness that hung on his features, even fast asleep, made my heart rattle. I tried to focus on the fact that he was here, we were here, but the scruff and sallow features wouldn’t let me. I leaned my head back against the pillows and focused on deep breathing and the tight grip he kept on me.

  Guilt mixed with pain over the whole situation as I stared up at the ceiling. There were so many things I would say to Julia, too, if given the chance to do everything over again. And even more I would say to Nick if he were awake now. All of it was making my head hurt every bit as badly as my heart. I closed my eyes and resolved to count book spines along the bedroom wall instead.

  I faded in and out of sleep until a soft knock rasped at the door.

  Shit.

  The last thing I wanted to do was wake Nick. I wiggled out from under him, my body almost inconsolable without his touch. I looked over the bed, every ounce of me wanted to jump back in, whoever was at the door be damned.

  The second knock and Jaime clearing his throat on the other side had me moving back through the room. I snatched Nick's shirt from the floor and wrapped it tight around me. I cracked the door just enough to peek out.

  "What's up Jaime?" I whispered and he followed suit.

  "The authorities are here. They have some questions for the family. Would you like to send Nicholas down or shall I try and get Laura and Gemma to bring out Ari."

  I’d barely thought about Ari.

  Sonofabitch.

  Thank God for Laura and Gemma. And Jaime.

  "I'll meet with them if you'll give me just a few moments."

  He nodded and I shut the door. I realized too late that my clothes were still strewn about the downstairs study. I had to crack the door and hiss at Jaime in the hopes of getting his attention. I flushed a brilliant shade of scarlet when I asked if he could possibly retrieve my suit from downstairs.

  When Jaime came back with the clothes, I slipped into them and followed him out into the expansive corridor. This was the first real look I was getting at the house that was more gloomy stone castle, complete with formal tapestries and grotesque marble statues, than a family home. I’d been wrong about the house mourning last night; sorrow was built into this place, thick as the mortar between stones and had been for years.

  I saw the authorities occupied with Colton and Terrence ahead, my steps stuttered at the deja vu.

  “Jaime.” He turned around at the fragile sound. “How am I going to do this?”

  “With help. Mine, if you’ll take it.” A small smile tugged on his lip.

  “Are you doing okay?"

  "Nope, not even a little bit. You?”

  “Not one bit.”

  I nodded and took two steps toward him. He let me throw my arms around him, he even returned the hug and crunched my ribs a little. We only stood that way for a moment but when we broke apart, he took my hand and squeezed.

  Standing face to face with the officers made my stomach churn. I’d given up on my heart ever returning to a normal patter, so I barely noticed that it was jumping in response to the officers in front of me. The moment the officers started speaking my stomach heaved, stealing all my focus anyway.

  “Was there a history of abuse?”

  Jesus.

  “Were any police reports filed?”

  Oh God.

  “Did she fear for her life?”

  I’m going to be sick.

  “Was there a history of sexual abuse as well?”

  I’d been answering steadily, but that one did it. I had to excuse myself and book it to the kitchen I could see beyond the formal living room, retching ungracefully into the big porcelain farmhouse sink. And that’s how things went for the next 72 hours. Answer questions. Throw up everything. Damn near crumple to the floor.

  Jaime or Laura or Gemma would help steady me then shoo me back to the bedroom. Nick was always there but barely speaking. He’d bury himself in my body, taking kisses, twisting nipples, fucking me with everything he had then holding me tightly until he fell fast asleep.

  Every so often he’d whisper, “I love you” across my skin.

  25.

  I wasn
’t sleeping very well. My internal monologue was guilty, grieving, angry, and exhausted all at the same time. All those emotions were amplified as I watched the sun peek through brocade curtains and fall across Nick’s face. That face made me sigh and my heart hammer. I desperately wanted to console him. I would’ve given anything to fix things. But I still had no idea where to start.

  A cell phone disrupted my thoughts. I tried to slip out of his harsh grip, whether to answer or silence it, I hadn’t decided.

  “No," Nick growled and pinned me to the bed.

  I bit my lip and tried to ignore the tumultuous feeling in my stomach. The phone rang again and neither of us said anything. I couldn’t have freed myself from his grip if I tried. Almost as soon as the ringing stopped, the knocking started. After three knocks, Nick rolled off the bed and skulked toward the door as he adjusted the waistband of his sweats. He ripped it open and Laura was standing there, hand frozen mid knock, my ringing BlackBerry in hand. I couldn’t see his eyes but the slouch and seethe of his shoulders said he was boring a hole in Laura’s forehead with a steely gaze.

  My feet automatically hit the floor and my knees wobbled a little. The nausea was getting worse but I didn’t dare tell any of them. I grabbed my robe and slung it over my shoulders as I walked toward Laura. Nick snatched the ringing phone from her and switched it off. I gently pulled the phone from Nick's fingers and tried to elbow in front of him in the doorframe.

  “Kate, we should chat.” She arched an eyebrow, taking in Bryant’s scruff without looking at me. “I have to go back to the city.”

  "Sure."

  I sighed when Nick's hand dug into my shoulder, keeping me rooted in place. I pried his fingers loose one by one, only to turn it over and kiss his palm. He zeroed in on me and I held his dark gaze, shivering at my least favorite eye color. After a moment, he shook his head and slunk back to bed, pulling the covers over his head with another growl.

  I followed Laura downstairs clinging to the bannister as I went.