by Nella Tyler
“Seriously, fuck that job.” Peyton’s lips curled into a sharp smile that made her dangerously beautiful. “I can see why you reacted the way you did. And, Drew wasn’t right to show up at your job like that. He should’ve reached out to you, not made this an issue in front of your boss, but everything he said is right. The principal has no right to dictate who you can and can’t date. That’s outside of his power as your boss. Honestly, the more I think about it, the more it seems like there’s something not quite right there. Does this guy have a crush on you?”
I wrinkled my nose at the thought and shook my head. “God, no. He’s married.”
“Like that’s ever stopped a man’s eyes from wandering.”
“Nothing like that is going on,” I said, giving her my most serious expression. “Terry has always been professional.”
“Except for this, which we can both agree is inappropriate. He can’t control what you do outside of the school.”
I tended to agree, but it wasn’t a fight I could afford to lose. Literally, I couldn’t afford it. I had enough in my savings account to get me through about two months’ worth of bills, and that was after dropping cable and my gym membership, which I would do immediately upon becoming unemployed. “Fighting Terry on this could cost me my job, Peyton. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.”
“Do you want to be with Drew?” she asked, shifting the conversation away from my financial concerns, which were perfectly valid, and onto trickier territory.
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “And, I feel terribly for Sophia. The Valentine’s Day lunch is tomorrow, and I won’t be able to go.”
Peyton stared at me, the wheels in that pretty little head of hers turning loud enough for me to hear in the busy bar. She took a deep breath as her eyes narrowed slightly. “You of all people know how it feels to be a little kid and have adults you care about disappoint you.”
I nodded, my entire body trembling in response to that. I thought of the times I’d waited on my father to visit, as he’d promised, only to be disappointed again. He never kept his word, always finding some bullshit excuse for why he couldn’t show up the way he said he would. My mom had been almost saintly in her refusal to say a harsh word against him, but she’d also never shielded him from my anger. She wanted nothing to do with him and made that clear; when they were together, he hadn’t treated her much better than he ended up treating me throughout my childhood.
I hated to be that kind of negative influence in Sophia’s life. I wasn’t her mother, but I’d started to build a relationship with her that was more than the one between a student and her teacher. That was all over now. I still had her in my classroom, but after the academic year, she would move on to first grade and leave me behind her. The thought of that killed me.
“I can try to make it up to her,” I said in a small voice that was nearly swallowed whole by the humming conversation in the bar. “I’m just not sure how.”
“You need to figure out what will make you happy first,” Peyton said. “I think it’s being with Drew. And if that’s the case, you should evaluate ways to make that happen.”
I took a long sip of my wine, thinking over her words. I was more confused now than ever, but that didn’t change the fact that she was absolutely right. I wanted Drew in my life, though it felt like I’d ruined any chance of that. Why the hell did things have to be so difficult?
Chapter 35
Drew
Saturday
The Day of the Valentine’s Day Lunch
I went overboard with the flowers, but I couldn’t help it. Despite the fact that Sophia hadn’t cried over Abigail not joining us at the Valentine’s Day lunch, I knew that the news had upset her. I loved her for rallying like the big girl I was alarmed to realize she was becoming more of with each passing day. When she came downstairs in her special dress, with crazy tights underneath and feet stuck in boots because that was her style, I presented her with a corsage for her tiny wrist as well as a bouquet of red roses.
She squealed at the sight of the flowers, clapping her little hands together. “They’re so pretty, Daddy!”
I slipped the corsage onto her wrist. “Red roses mean love,” I explained. “And, there’s no one I love more than you in this world.” I leaned to kiss her gently on one rounded cheek. “You can keep these roses in a vase on the coffee table so we can both enjoy them.”
I helped her fix her long dark hair, putting it in a high ponytail that kept it mostly off of her back. She liked to leave it loose, but it tended to go everywhere and then was really knotted at the end of the day, meaning I had to rip through it before she went to bed. She was wearing the gold necklace that Chelsea had picked out right before she died and a plastic bracelet she received from my mom for Christmas.
I held out my hand. “Shall we go to lunch, darling child of mine?”
She grinned up at me, and I could see how excited she was by the sparkle in her eyes. “Yeah!”
We went out to the truck and drove to the elementary school. The further along we went, the more Sophia’s mood darkened. I could see it happening, like storm clouds building on the horizon as I watched, completely powerless to change the rapidly worsening weather.
“Are you okay, honey?”
She was fiddling with the corsage, twisting it around so the white flowers moved in a circle over her wrist. “I wish Miss East could come.”
That punched me right in the gut. I’d been stupid to think Sophia would get through today without mentioning Abigail. Hearing her name sank my own mood, but I pushed through it. I needed to keep a cheerful face on all day and just hope that, once the lunch got started, Sophia would buck up.
“I know, honey, but we’re going to have a great time together.”
She nodded, but didn’t look convinced.
We parked in the front parking lot of the school and went in to the cafeteria, which had been decorated with pink, red, and white streamers and lots of hearts cut out of construction paper in those same three colors. I’d eaten lunch here with Soph on a few occasions — they had parents’ lunches during the day for holidays and also allowed parents to drop by for lunch any day of the week as long as they signed in at the front office first — and I was impressed with how different it looked. We checked in at the head table and were led to one of the long tables in back. Each table had been set at each end for three, with the places in between left empty to allow for some modicum of privacy.
We shrugged out of our jackets and slid into our seats across from one another, Sophia looking glum while I wore a fake ass smile as my armor. There was a pitcher of water in between us and I turned my attention to that, pointedly ignoring the third place setting that was destined to remain unused. Sophia was staring down at her white and pink placemat, her shoulders slumped.
“Would you like some water, Soph?” I poured some into my own plastic cup while I waited for her response.
She shrugged, which was Soph speak for yes when she was unhappy about something. I poured her some water and then set the pitcher back in its place. There was a printed menu on the table, as well, glued to a red piece of construction paper. I picked it up.
“Mmm, there’s some good stuff on here, honey. Do you want to hear about it?”
She shrugged again. I took it as another yes.
“First, we’ll be having vegetable soup with little heart shaped pieces of pasta in it.” I waited for her to respond in some way. When she didn’t, I continued. “Then, baked chicken with mashed potatoes and green beans.” Still no response from Soph, but I was impressed by the menu. Hopefully, the food would taste as good as it sounded. I was starving after not really eating anything that morning for breakfast. “After that, a special Valentine’s Day dessert.” I waggled my eyebrows at her, but she only inhaled deeply, her mood falling even more as I watched her exhale.
“Soph, let’s try to have some fun, okay? I know you wanted Miss East here, but we’re a team, right?”
S
he nodded, but didn’t look convinced.
“Welcome, students and family members,” a voice boomed over the loudspeaker, drawing everyone’s attention and quieting the hum of hushed, excited conversation going on all over the cafeteria as people rushed to find their places. There were at least fifty families seated in the large, open space. Mr. Clarkson, the principal, was standing at the front of the room, a wireless mic in his hand and a huge smile on his pinched weasel’s face. Just seeing him tanked my mood even more. After the school board meeting and the mess in his office last week, I never wanted to see the guy again. Unfortunately, Sophia still had five full academic years to go at Blaine Elementary.
“Thank you all for joining us today for the Blaine Elementary Valentine’s Day luncheon. I hope you will enjoy the delicious food and the special program some of the children put together for entertainment later in the afternoon while we are eating our Valentine’s dessert.”
I cut my eyes away from the principal to look at Sophia again. “Honey-” I began, but I didn’t get the chance to finish. Abigail had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and was striding over to our table, her gravitational pull tearing at my attention.
I could only stare as she approached. She was wearing a light blue dress that made her hair stand out radiantly, like flames against the sky. She stopped next to our table, and Sophia grinned up at her, the light coming back to her eyes and casting out the glumness that had settled over her since we loaded up into the truck.
“Can I still join you for lunch?” Abigail asked, shyly, her green eyes hopeful. She’d already reached to take Sophia’s hand. “I’d love to sit at your table for three.”
“It certainly didn’t sound like it in the principal’s office,” I said, not wanting to get into any more than that with Soph around. She didn’t need to hear about what had happened the other day. But I also didn’t want to act like things were okay between Abigail and me.
Abigail’s cheeks reddened prettily, and if I could have done it without embarrassing her in front of everyone she taught and worked with, I would have gathered her in my arms right then and covered her beautiful face with kisses. I couldn’t deny how much I still wanted her in my life.
“I’m sorry about that, Drew. I really am.” Her eyes fell to the table and then to Sophia before finally returning to me. “I was surprised to see you in Mr. Clarkson’s office. And a little freaked out, if you want to know the truth.”
I’d realized how much of a mistake it was to show up at the school and demand to see the principal as soon as I saw the shock spread across Abigail’s face when she walked into that office. I hadn’t really wanted her to be part of that conversation at all. I’d hoped to handle it man to man, but then Clarkson insisted on bringing Abigail into it. Nothing I’d said had deterred him, and I knew things were about to go to hell at that point.
“I know,” I said and sighed, the last of the anger leaving me completely. “I’m sorry for that. I shouldn’t have come to the school without talking to you.”
She smiled, but it was still shy. Even her green eyes were hesitant. “Does that mean I can sit with you and Sophia?”
“Can she, Daddy?” Soph asked, her brown eyes darting from my face to Abigail’s. “Please?”
“Are you sure you really want to do this?” Her sitting down at our table would mean a hell of a lot more than just having lunch with us. Clarkson was master of ceremonies at this event, and after the shit show of a meeting in his office, he would probably take immediate notice of Abigail and me seated at the same table. “After everything?”
I could see the fire in her eyes when she nodded. She was a bit of a hellion at her core, that fire said. But, then, her tattoo and how hungry and eager she was in bed had already told me that.
“I’m positive.”
I grinned and could feel a weight leave my shoulders and neck. It felt like I’d been shouldering a heavy load that had suddenly been removed. “Please join us.”
Abigail’s smile lit up her entire face. She sat down next to Sophia, who squealed and hugged her teacher tightly. It warmed my heart to see how much they loved each other. Right now, I was happy for all three of us.
Clarkson had taken notice of us from his place across the cafeteria. He watched for a moment as Sophia and Abigail, their backs to him, chattered on about the menu and what they thought the secret dessert was going to be. And then, as though someone had flipped a switch inside of him, he dislodged himself from the wall and began to walk in our direction, a determined expression on his face that made me uncomfortable.
Chapter 36
Abigail
Saturday
It felt right sitting here with Drew and Sophia, like I’d wandered far from home for weeks and had only just returned. I knew as I crossed the cafeteria that I was making the right decision. I didn’t even let myself consider what this might mean for my job. What mattered was that Drew and I were good together, and I loved Sophia and wanted to play a part in both of their lives and allow them to play a part in mine.
Sophia was smiling so widely, I worried her face might split in two. Her obvious joy at my presence filled me up. It was yet another sign that I’d made the right decision. I looked from her to Drew, and my heart nearly stopped at the tight expression on his face. His dark eyes were focused on something just past me.
“Your boss is coming,” he muttered, and his glance shifted to my face. “I hope you’re ready for this.”
I swallowed hard, my heart picking up its tempo inside of my chest, the beats echoing inside my skull. But I did feel ready. I knew Terry would see me sit down with Drew and Sophia, and there was no pretending that he didn’t know which student’s parent I’d been dating after the abysmal meeting in his office. I had my priorities straight now, thanks mostly to Peyton, who had spent the better part of last night talking me through the pros and cons of the two paths that stood before me. Not to mention she’d researched school board policy and assured me I was standing on pretty solid footing, legally speaking.
I could see Terry coming over my shoulder, but I didn’t turn until he was standing right beside our table.
“Hi, Terry,” I said, surprising myself with how naturally casual my voice sounded to my own ears. I felt the exact opposite of casual and calm, but the important thing was to successfully fake it well enough to fool others.
“I thought we discussed this matter last week to some satisfaction,” Terry said, ignoring Drew and Sophia completely as his eyes stayed pinned to mine. I could see this conversation made him uncomfortable.
“We did, only I misrepresented the relationship Drew and I have. We are dating each other and have been for several weeks now. It didn’t interfere with my work in the classroom in any way, and I’m willing to keep it under wraps here at Blaine until after the end of the academic year. But I’m not willing to give up my personal life in order to continue working here. It’s not fair to ask that.”
Terry stared hard at me, the lenses of his glasses making his eyes enormous. I could see the tension running through him, and I readied myself to be fired on the spot. I wasn’t sure what I would do then. I loved my students and looked forward to returning to them at the end of every weekend and holiday break. My job reviews over the years had always been exemplary. I didn’t understand how something like this could derail all the fine work I’d done since I started at the school.
Terry’s mouth opened to respond, but Drew cut in, his low voice firm and urgent.
“Listen, Mr. Clarkson, what goes on between Abigail and me is really none of your business. It hasn’t interfered in her teaching job in any way. It’s true that she’s Sophia’s teacher, but she had a close relationship with my daughter long before we were even on speaking terms.
“I don’t understand why you care about this so much, but I do know that you don’t have the legal right to fire her over dating an unmarried father of one of her students. I’ve looked into the governing policies myself.
“We’
re here to enjoy this event. The school encouraged children to bring people they cared about to join them at their private table for three. That’s what my daughter has done.” He glared at Terry, unblinking, for a few solid seconds before continuing. “Now, if you don’t mind, we’d like to get back to enjoying our Valentine’s Day lunch.”
My heart felt ready to explode, both from how hard it was beating and from the reaction of hearing Drew say all of these things. No matter what happened with my job, I knew I was making the right choice. My heart had always known what it wanted, even when my head was unsure. I couldn’t believe I’d almost allowed myself to lose this wonderful man.
Terry’s gaze shifted back and forth from each of the adults at the table while Sophia, completely oblivious to the rising tension, busied herself trying to read all of the words on the menu for the luncheon. Terry’s eyes stopped on my face, and I couldn’t read the look in them.
“Is this really how you want to proceed, Abigail?” he asked me. “Despite what you told me on Monday?”
I nodded once. “Yes, I’m sure. I care a great deal about Drew, and I’d like to continue seeing him on my own time, which I should be free to do.” My voice stayed calm and even, and the longer I faked being unaffected, the less I worried about what would happen. At Peyton’s insistence, I’d updated my resume this morning and was ready to apply for jobs if need be. It was my worst case scenario, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
Terry’s jaw tightened and released, the looser skin of his small chin drawing attention to his age. He looked tired and overworked as he stood there, looking down at us. I respected this man for the hours he put in here at Blaine and had never had a problem with him in all the time I’d worked here until now. I hoped we could move beyond this and continue working together to help as many children succeed as we could.
