Harper (Destined for the Alpha Book 1)

by Viola Rivard

  “Maybe you're not little, but you are a girl,” Viper said. “What are you, twenty? Twenty-one?”

  “Twenty-six.”

  “Oh, my apologies,” Viper said with mock deference. “Well, Miss Twenty-six, I can tell you've seen some bad things. You think it makes you all grown up. It doesn't. If that were the way of the world, we'd throw all our pups into the snake pits and let them fight their way to manhood.”

  “Sure,” Harper said, very much wanting to be done with the conversation.

  “Maybe you're not little,” Viper said again. “But you are a girl. Don't worry. Shan will make a proper woman out of you. And don't ask for your drugs again. It's not good for your baby.”

  Harper went from mildly annoyed to on the edge panic in an instant.

  “I'm not pregnant,” she said, practically shouting the statement. “Am I?”

  She remembered Shan telling her that she smelled strange, but it couldn't be that. It hadn't even been a full day since they'd slept together.

  “Stupid,” Viper said, smacking the back of Harper's head. “Not right now, at least, I don't think. But soon enough, and you can't be polluting your body with that shit when there's a little baby inside of you.”

  Harper sagged with relief. “Thanks so much. I'll keep that in mind.”

  Viper let out a whistle.

  “I told you his mate would be a real bitch,” she said to Yorick. “What did we bet?”

  “I don't remember taking that bet,” Yorick said.

  “That's because it was half your lifetime ago. That's how long we've been waiting for Shan to take a mate.”

  Viper went on to tell Harper about how whenever a new human joined the pack, they would take bets on whose mate she would become. Apparently, there was a lot of salt and sugar—the primary bartering currencies—on Jo and West becoming mates, but none of the wolves, save for Viper, had bet on Harper and Shan becoming mates.

  “For you, everyone said Cade,” Viper told her. “He's young, strong, easy on the eyes, up and coming, you know? But I looked at you and I could see you have issues with your father. You don't want a boy, you want a man.”

  “What? I don't have issues with my father.”

  Viper ignored her. “Then, I see Shan and the way he looked at you. That first night, it was like a scene from a movie. You showed up and it was like he couldn't see anything else but you. I saw it. We all saw it. But every one of them assholes still bet for Cade because Shan never takes a mate. It's not logical, but they're stupid dogs. Would they bet a man will live forever just because he's never died? I dunno, maybe.”

  She put her arm around Harper's shoulders and leaned in close enough that her breath stuck to Harper's face as she spoke. “The day of your mating ceremony, I am going to be the richest bitch in The Steppes. It will be the happiest day of both our lives, so don't you fuck this up for us.”

  Harper didn't have the heart to tell Viper that in spite of appearances to the contrary, she wasn't going to become Shan's mate. She was glad she didn't say as much, because Shan and Cade returned moments later and the situation could have been awkward for everyone.

  “Any sign of them?” Yorick asked.

  Shan said, “We found some old boundary markers. Nothing fresh. They haven't been through here recently. You're certain this is the right place?”

  “It's close enough,” Viper said. “They'll find us, if they're looking.”

  “Then we'll wait.”

  Shan sat beside Harper and draped one half of his pelt over her shoulders. She was glad for the warmth, and she didn't resist when he pulled her into his lap. Everyone present could smell that they'd slept together, so there was no point in keeping up appearances to the contrary.

  They passed the morning in idle conversation. Shan and Yorick were mostly silent, their attention cast out on the forest around them. It was mostly Viper and Cade bantering, with occasional input from Harper.

  Everyone seemed comfortable, but as the sun neared its zenith, they began to grow restless.

  When there was a lull in the conversation, Yorick said, “We should press in farther and approach their den. If we left now, we could be there by nightfall.”

  “I'm with him,” Viper said, nodding at Yorick. “I'm tired of dealing with this slippery laser pack. Snow is starting early this year. If we leave now, there goes another season they stay down here fucking things up. How many times are we gonna redraw the map?”

  Shan lifted his chin from its perch on Harper's head. “We're not storming his den. That is the one place we wouldn't have the advantage.”

  “We could go halfway,” Cade suggested. “Press in a few more miles and try to draw them out.”

  Shan didn't respond. He rested his chin back on Harper’s head, making it so that she couldn't look up and see his expression. Whatever they saw on his face, his pack mates seemed to understand that the discussion was closed.

  Harper wondered if, had she not been there, Shan would have been more inclined to pursue the pack.

  Probably. What a fucking mess this is.

  Harper leaned back, letting her body go lax against him. She couldn't tell him that he should go in spite of her. That would fall into the category of undermining him in front of his pack, one of his requirements for their courtship. She hadn't asked for him to court her, but she'd allowed him to escalate it at every turn, so the least she could do was play by his rules.

  Her eyelids had been feeling heavier by the hour. Once it had become apparent that no one was showing up, her anxiety had given way to boredom and her sleep deprivation soon caught up to her.

  As quiet finally fell over the group, her eyes closed. She tuned in to the rhythm of Shan's breathing and the feel of his thumb drawing lazy circles on her thigh. Her head began to loll to the side. She caught herself twice, but on the third time, she slipped fully into sleep.

  Chapter 15

  The sun was sinking low in the sky when Harper woke. She was no longer sitting in Shan's lap, but instead stretched out beside him, her head resting on his arm. She sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

  “Where is everyone?” she asked, noticing that they were alone.

  “Viper and Cade went to scout farther out towards the den. Yorick is hunting.”

  She yawned and stretched out her arms. “I thought we were going to leave at noon. You didn't stay because of me, did you?”

  “Mostly because of you,” he said with a shrug. “But no one minded.”

  Without thinking, she ran her hand over the side of his face. Shan's hand closed around hers, holding her hand to him.

  She asked, “Are you disappointed that they didn't show?”

  “Not particularly.” He released her hand as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. “We'll deal with them later. Right now, I couldn't give a damn. All I want is to get you home and in my bed.”

  Heat flooded her cheeks. “What's your home like? Do you live in a house?”

  “A cavern, near a waterfall.”

  She grinned. “A waterfall? That sounds impractical. Don't you get wet every time you go home?”

  He leaned in to nip at her bottom lip. “It's near a waterfall, not behind one. I think you'll like it, though I'm not opposed to building you a house if you don't.”

  Harper's arousal was tempered by a sudden sinking feeling. She swallowed, and then said, “It seems like a lot of trouble to go through, considering I'll only be here for a few months.”

  She'd been reminding him all along that she wasn't staying and wouldn't be his mate, but this time the words seemed to drop like a heavy weight between them. Shan withdrew from her, his upper lip curling as though he'd tasted something rotten.

  “So you keep saying,” he said dryly.

  “I keep saying it because I don't think you're understanding me. I don't belong here. This was never the life I wanted.”

  Shan's eyes narrowed. “What do you mean by that?”

  Realizing her mistake, she instantly went
on the defensive. “What I mean is that I'm human. Sure, there are women who would be okay with this life, but I'm not one of them. This whole dynamic we have going on where you're dominant and have all of the control, it's a novelty for me, one that's going to run thin really quickly. If I became you're mate, that's who I'd be—Shan's mate. I'd never be Harper again. What you're really asking is for me to throw away everything I've worked for so that I can become your accessory.”

  “Harper—”

  “Tell me I'm wrong. That I'll be more than just the girl you took for your mate.”

  “If you want more for yourself, you'll have to earn it.”

  Harper stood, enjoying the fleeting sense of towering over him. “That's just it, Shan. I have earned it, back in my world. I've spent the past decade of my life wading through shit that you don't even know the half of, all so that I could earn a better life for myself.

  “My mother dropped out of junior high school. She was younger than me when she died, and she'd already had two kids. I was her only daughter and for my entire childhood, all anyone ever did was compare me to her. They all said I was just like her and believe me, it wasn't a flattering comparison. But I proved them all wrong. I got my high school diploma when I was sixteen, and then I got my bachelor's, and then my master's.”

  Shan finally managed to cut through her ranting. “And that's all that matters to you? Proving your family wrong? That's the foundation that you want to build your life on?”

  Shan had a way of cutting through all of her bullshit, even the bullshit she told herself. Harper took a moment, closing her eyes and collecting her thoughts. She would have to be honest with him. As honest as she could be, anyway.

  “I want to be your mate, Shan. From the very first time I looked into your eyes, I've wanted to be your mate. And that's why you have to stop. I can't handle this. I can't handle you. I'm out of my depth here. If you keep pushing me, I'll stay with you.”

  “I know,” he said smugly.

  Harper let out a mirthless laugh. “Right now, it feels like you're the only thing that matters. Like my entire life has led up to meeting you and if I just said yes, we'd live happily ever after. But that's just it. The story doesn't end when we become mates. It keeps going, and going, and going, and then one day six months or a year from now, I'm going to wake up from this fantasy. I'll realize what a horrible mistake I made, and it'll be too late. I'll hate myself even more than I already do, I'll resent you, and any children we have. So, please. Stop.”

  It was deep, eloquent, and she almost managed to get through it without crying.

  Shan stood, and as his shadow fell over her, she had a deep sense of foreboding. His response was cold, dispassionate, and resolute.

  “No.”

  Rage flared inside of her and her hand flung up to slap him. He caught her wrist without even looking.

  “You think I wanted this?” he asked, his voice low. “I've had years to take a mate. I could have had my pick of any female, but I valued my freedom, autonomy, and privacy. You are the first female I have ever wanted more than I want those things, and I am not letting you go just because you think you might have reservations in the future.”

  As they stared unblinkingly at one another, Harper felt as though she might vomit. The second he released her wrist, she spun around and wiped her face.

  “Which way to the river?” she asked.

  “I'll take you.”

  “I want to go alone.”

  “This isn't my territory. You're not going off on your own.”

  Harper drew in a breath, and then shouted, “Hello? Laser pack? Are you out there? I'm walking alone to the river. For the love of God, please come and abduct me so that I can get a day away from this asshole.”

  Harper turned around and was pleased to see that Shan looked livid. She looked him dead in the eyes, and stuck up her middle finger.

  “Juvenile,” he said. “Go and get yourself killed. It will solve at least one of my problems.”

  He let her walk away. The moment she was certain that she was beyond his sight, Harper's entire body began to shake. Whatever had been holding her up throughout the argument fled her body. She stopped and sank down at the base of a tree, her hands covering her face to muffle her sobs.

  As she sat crying, voices began to crowd her head.

  This is too much.

  You're coming apart at the seams.

  You should have never come back.

  You should have stayed in Boston, taken another shitty market research job, and spent the rest of your life binge-watching television and sucking at relationships.

  She raked damp hands through her hair. Had her life always sucked so badly, or did it just feel that way now?

  She gave herself another moment to wallow in self-loathing, and then forced herself to get up and head towards the river. She didn't need a mirror to know that she looked like hell, and there was no way she was returning looking like she'd just been dumped at prom.

  “Is that what just happened?” she asked herself. “Did we just break up?”

  No, no, no. They couldn't possibly break up because they'd never been together.

  Except they had.

  You told him you were falling in love with him.

  “That is not what I said.”

  You told him you wanted to be his mate.

  “I'd also like to be a fairy, but we live in reality, don't we?”

  You told him you'd stay.

  “That's not what I said, I—God, I really am losing my mind.”

  Harper all but collapsed alongside the river. She lowered her head to the water, not caring that her hair was becoming soaked, and scrubbed at her face until it felt raw.

  When she was done, she twisted her hair into a knot, wringing the water out. The river moved slowly, affording her a clear look at her reflection.

  She had never seen a picture of her mother. Her brother had been old enough to remember her, but when she asked, he would only recount the way that she smelled or how she used to twist her hair around her pinky. Everyone had always told Harper that she looked just like her mother, so when she imagined her, she would picture herself, but with her father's features taken out. All that she had from him was her dimpled chin and the way her eyes turned down in the corners, so it was easy enough to visualize.

  “I really am just like you, aren't I?” she mused. “That's how I know I'd ruin him and fuck up my kids.”

  Harper spat at her reflection.

  When she stood, she was no more ready to return to Shan than she had been when she'd stalked off. As the sky began to darken, she walked along the rocky riverbank, picking up stones and throwing them as far as she could. Part of her hoped she would get ambushed by the enemy pack, if only to make it slightly less awkward when she ran back to Shan.

  “I can't believe I flipped him off,” she said, chucking another stone across the river.

  It had seemed like a good idea at the time and it had felt damn satisfying, but now it felt dumb and, frankly...juvenile.

  Harper threw another stone. She was bending to grab the next, when her ears picked up on a faint, whining sound. At first, she thought she was imagining it, but when she paused to listen she could hear it more distinctly, coming from somewhere behind her. Turning, she started back towards the forest.

  She followed the sound as it grew louder, careful to step quietly and keep herself as obscured as possible. She thought it sounded like someone crying, but it could have also been a trap, or a psychotic break. She had to cover all of her bases.

  The sun had fully set by the time she arrived at the base of a massive oak tree. It looked to be hundreds of years old and its oldest branches were so large and heavy that they sagged down to the forest floor. Harper surveyed the branches, tilting her head all the way back until she saw a small, humanoid figure silhouetted by the moonlight.

  “Hello?” she called out.

  The figure didn't appear to move, but she could hear the sound of sn
iffling. Feeling wary, she started to step back, but stopped when she heard a child's voice.

  “I fell down.”

  Harper hesitated, glancing around the area for any signs of movement. Everything appeared still. She looked back up at the figure.

  “You fell? From where? You look pretty high up to me.”

  The figure moved, lifting a slender arm to point up at a higher branch. “I was there and then I fell down. I hurt my leg.”

  Harper walked back to the base of the tree and squinted up. She could see it more clearly now. It appeared to be a girl, garbed in animal skins.

  The fact that it was a shifter pup did nothing to ease her wariness.

  “Is your mommy or your daddy around?”

  She began sniffling again, the sound accompanied by a whine. The girl might have shaken her head, but she was too far up for Harper to see clearly.

  “My name is Harper. I'd like to help you get down, but I should really go and get my friend first.”

  Getting Shan was the obvious thing to do. Not only would it be safer to collect the pup with his help, but the urgent situation would also negate most of the awkwardness of returning. Perhaps in the ensuing quest to reunite the girl with her parents, Shan would totally forget how Harper had made an ass of herself.

  More sniffles. “You promise you'll come back? You won't forget me?”

  The questions tugged at her heartstrings. She took a few steps back and surveyed the tree again. It would be easy enough for her to climb. Trickier to get down while carrying a small child, but she could do it on her own.

  She looked around again. Still quiet. If this was some sort of trap, her would-be ambushers could have attacked her at any time.

  So, it's either a girl stuck in a tree, or a psychotic break.

  “You know what? How about I come up and get you, and then we can go get my friend together. I'm sure he can help us find your parents.”