Echoes of the Heart

by Webb, Carole

  Cash’s stomach turned before he spoke. “Doc, she’s pregnant. Do you think the baby will survive?” He swiped his eyes with a shirtsleeve, removed his hat and ran long fingers through his hair.

  “Cash, why don’t you step outside and let me examine her? I’ll let you know when I’m finished.” He waved smelling salts under her nose. When her eyes blinked open, Cash stroked her hair then at the doctor’s bidding, walked into the waiting room.

  He grimaced, sympathy laced with rage when she cried out in pain. Ashen-faced, Diane looked like she had seen a wraith.

  It seemed forever before the door opened. Upon entry, Dr. Hathaway spoke in a calm even tone. “Raeden should recover in a few weeks. I had to keep her conscious while I set the arm and sutured those cuts. I didn’t want her going into shock.” He looked distraught. “I wrapped her rib cage. Several are broken and she has lost a lot of blood.”

  Cash breathed a sigh of relief knowing she would be all right. If he lost Raeden, he didn’t think he could bear it. Until she had come into his life, he’d almost forgotten what it was like to live without loneliness and despair.

  The doctor continued to walk through the room. “Lots of bed rest and she should be fine, at least in a physical way.” Diane let out a sigh of relief and Mike pulled her close.

  Dr. Hathaway motioned to Cash. “Cash, let’s step outside a minute.”

  Cash’s gut burned but he showed no emotion. Once on the front porch the two men faced each other. “She has lost the baby, Cash.”

  Without warning, he spun around. His fist collided with the wall splintering the wood and shaving the skin from his knuckles. The doctor sounded hopeful. “She can have more children but perhaps you should consider marriage first.” His face tensed when he continued. “Frankly, Cash I never thought you the type to take advantage of an innocent young girl.”

  Cash held his emotions in check. “Doc, I didn’t know about the baby until today. I’ve asked about getting married. She didn’t want it. Believe me, that’s going to change.”

  They walked back inside and Doctor Hathaway spoke to Diane. “She needs a gown and a sponge bath. Will you do it while I make a few house calls? I have given her laudanum for pain. It shouldn’t cause much discomfort.”

  Mike and Diane left to retrieve the clothing while Cash knelt on one knee beside Raeden’s bed. Her arm was splinted and wrapped. He was glad to see the intense look of pain had gone, but she looked so small and vulnerable lying at rest. He lifted her free hand to his lips, brushing the tips of her fingers, watching her sleep.

  When Diane returned, he assisted her while she carefully bathed Raeden. Most of her body looked beaten and bruised. Diane ran a damp cloth through her hair and Cash helped with the nightgown. They both pulled up a chair and sat next to the bed watching her sleep.

  Cash turned to Diane. “Did you know about the child?” His voice held a note of disdain.

  “Yes. I told her she should tell you. She made me promise to keep her secret. I would have told you myself. I’m sorry, Cash.” She received no response.

  He considered her statement. Why would Raeden not tell him something so important? After all, any blame rested with him. Plagued with remorse at having taken her innocence and the realization she might fear his reprisal, made him feel the misplaced leviathan of the past few years rather than the man Raeden deserved. If it took the rest of his days, he would make this up to her. The sound of Diane’s voice brought him back to the present.

  “Do you have any idea who did this?”

  “Not exactly. I have my suspicions and they are going to pay.” His brows drew together while his lips spread thin and his jaw twitched.

  “I hope you kill them. If I ever see them, I will destroy them myself.”

  His teeth clenched. “The thought has definitely crossed my mind.”

  A blanket of darkness covered the sky. A scant silver circle haloed the November moon and the zenith was sprinkled with flickering stars. Diane looked at Cash, her face drawn. “I’m exhausted. I’ll go to the store for a few hours rest then come to relieve you.”

  His tone held sharpness. “I’m not going anywhere. You go ahead.”

  “Promise you will fetch me if there’s any change for the worse.”

  “If that happens, I’ll send someone.” He did not intend to leave her.

  ***

  Except for necessity, Cash remained by her side watching the rise and fall of her chest. Just before daybreak she woke screaming and he knelt by her side stroking her hair. “It’s just a dream, sweetheart. You’re safe now.”

  Awakened by screams, the doctor entered, sat down and uncovered Raeden, pressed along the line below her rib cage. “Rae, there doesn’t appear to be any internal bleeding. You will be fine in a few weeks time. I’ll give you something for the pain.” After administering a dose in a small amount of water, he refilled the glass then passed it to Cash. “She needs to drink this.”

  After he left, Raeden raised her hand to brush the stubble on his face. “You look so tired, Cash. Are you okay?”

  His heart ached, tearing at his resolve. She lay in agony after a brutal attack, worried about him! He coaxed the water past her cracked swollen lips. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me. You just rest; I’m right here if you need me.”

  Gigantic liquid beads fell from her eyes as she spoke. “Cash, I’m so sorry I lost our baby.”

  He almost broke down but sucked in his emotions. “Rae, please stop, I can’t stand it. This is not your fault.” He pulled her hand to his lips, unable to touch anywhere else on her battered body without inflicting more discomfort.

  When her eyes closed, and she breathed slow and steady he lowered his face to feel her breath against his lips. With no one watching, he wept.

  Thirty-eight

  For two days, Cash kept up the vigil, nodding off occasionally in the chair by her bed. She ate very little and woke up in hysterics from nightmares. Each time the hate grew stronger, eroding sanity, corrupting his thoughts while he gently dabbed the sweat from her brow and soothed her back to sleep.

  Raeden bolted up screaming, chilled from cold sweats. Cash knelt at her side. “Rae, it’s a bad dream. You will hurt yourself if you don’t quiet down.” Every time this happened, his blood boiled with fury contaminating his judgment making him eager to lash out.

  She choked back tears, looking into his eyes, pleading, “Cash, please take me home.”

  “Doc says you can go back in a couple more days.”

  Her voice quivered when she spoke. “No, I mean home to St. Louis. I can’t stay in this godforsaken barbaric country one day longer.”

  His eyes opened wide, brows raised in surprise. Not desiring to upset her, he spoke softly and agreed. “I understand how you must feel but it’s too early for such a trip. As soon as you are well enough, I’ll take you home.”

  Raeden’s rapid breathing slowed. “At least take me to Diane’s, I don’t like waking in a strange place.”

  His eyes glanced upward as he tried to think. “I’ll talk to Doc Hathaway. If it is okay with him—”

  “No, it’s my decision. I stood the ride all the way here, and I can go a few miles to Diane’s.”

  He knew when he had lost. “Fine. Do you mind if I take a bath and shave first?”

  She attempted a feeble smile. “I had been going to mention that.”

  In spite of recent events, he chuckled on his way out. The fluctuation in her mood lifted his spirits. For the first time since her abduction, he began to relax.

  Overcome by fatigue, the hot bath nearly put him to sleep. He splashed cold water over his face after shaving. Temporarily revived, he dressed in clean clothing and promptly returned to Raeden’s side.

  He was relieved to find Diane with Raeden, she had not been alone. He noticed the swelling had receded on her face since the first day but the bruising had turned darker. Aside from the discoloration, she seemed almost normal propped up on pillows talking with Diane.

&
nbsp; “Diane offered to drive. Will you still come along? I’m frightened. They are still out there somewhere.”

  They won’t be for long. “I wouldn’t allow you to leave without me. Doc says you need to take something for pain.”

  “No, I don’t want anything. It makes the dreams worse. I will suffer the pain rather than the torment.”

  Wrapped in blankets she made the trip cradled in Cash’s arms, nestling close while he cushioned her ride. He carried her into the bedroom and she drank in the familiar surroundings feeling better already then asked for a hot bath and privacy.

  Biting back pain, she struggled into the tub, splinted arm dangling over the side and scrubbed so abrasively her body burned. She would have peeled the skin off if she thought it would rid her of the memory of how they used her. With great effort, she managed to shampoo her hair.

  Stepping out, her aching body felt soothed from the hot water. She dried off as best she could and draped a towel around her hair. She left one arm of the robe draped over her shoulder an held it close around her then heard a soft knock and Diane’s voice at the door.

  “Rae, are you all right?”

  “Come in, I’m fine.” She still felt dirty. Nothing could ever rid her of the illusory crawling crud.

  Diane dried her hair, assisted with a gown and satin bed jacket then tucked her in bed. “Would you please hand me my sketch book?” When she completed the drawings, a second knock sounded, Cash entered to kneel beside the bed and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

  “You’re fine here, I need to go into town and take care of some business. I will return later.”

  Raeden handed him the sketches of the men she had just completed. It had not been an easy task. She felt nauseous but knew it would be necessary to describe them eventually.

  ***

  Cash didn’t want to leave her but desired to revive as much of her reputation as possible under the circumstances. A light snow fell on his return drive. Thoughts remained on vengeance, steeling his resolve, knowing every waking moment, he would spend visualizing ways to make them suffer.

  Upon arrival, John leapt to his feet, face contorted with worry. “How is Rae?”

  “She’s much better. I need you to send out some telegrams with the descriptions of those men. Raeden drew some sketches and mentioned she heard one called Horace. Hopefully we can get a lead before the weather worsens.”

  John walked to the telegraphy while Cash went to visit the preacher to arrange for a ceremony as soon as possible. When he appeared elated with the news, Cash assumed he had heard the gossip then related he could make it the following afternoon.

  He sauntered to the store where Mike showed him the selection of gold bands and he picked the best available then ordered a set he knew would please Raeden from a catalogue. Mike offered to send a wire so the rings would arrive on the next train.

  After eating an early dinner, he spoke to Caroline asking if she would contact Raeden’s friends about the wedding, hoping they could make the day a special event.

  She clapped her hands together. “Cash, this is so exciting, I have been expecting this for weeks. We will all show up tomorrow.” Christ, had every one in town expected them to be married?

  He moved at a quick pace toward the jail. The snow ceased after dropping a light coat, glistened in the last rays of sunlight peaking through gaps in dark gray clouds.

  John met him at the corral when he saddled Rabbit. Excitement played in his voice. “We already got a wire from the sheriff in Sioux Falls. Two men passed through yesterday meeting the description. He didn’t get a name, though.”

  Cash perked through his exhaustion. “Guess that’s where we’ll start.” He cracked a smile. “We are getting married tomorrow. Come to the wedding. We will leave right after the ceremony.”

  “It took you long enough, you old rattle snake. I wouldn’t miss it. Are you sure you want to leave Rae so soon?”

  He mounted while talking. “She’ll be fine at Diane’s until I get back. Why don’t you get things ready? Get a packhorse from Watts. We will need plenty of grain for the animals.”

  “I’ll have everything ready. See you tomorrow, bride groom.” John jumped back avoiding a smack from Cash’s hat. Cash smiled to himself as he rode, energized by the reality Raeden would soon be his wife. Finally being honest with himself, he knew he loved her and under his protection, no one would ever hurt her again.

  The internal battle finally at rest, he knew he had made the right decision. Raeden stole his heart the moment he met her, and the following weeks he had grown to love everything about her. The excitement of her passion for him caused a craving deep in his soul, like nothing he had ever experienced before.

  He entered her room to find her sitting in bed clad in a jade green jacket, hair lustrous and full falling over her shoulders down onto the pillow. Lines of worry marked her delicate face.

  Cash knelt by the bed stroking the silky curls down her back. “I thought you would be asleep by now. You look tired, baby. Why don’t you lie down?”

  “I’m afraid to sleep. The dreams will reoccur. They’re making me sick.” Liquid pools formed in her incomparable green eyes.

  He turned down the lamp. “I’ll stay right here with you.”

  Laying her head on the pillow, he bent and gently kissed her lips. “Hold me, Cash.”

  Removing his boots, he lay down beside her atop of the covers and let her lean into him. Draping one arm over his middle, she nestled closer and a sigh followed.

  He ran a curl of hair through his fingers. The fragrance prickled his senses. “I have a surprise for you tomorrow.”

  She moved her head back to look into his eyes. “Cash, so soon? That’s wonderful. I can hardly wait.” Her enthusiasm made him certain she would be happy. After she fell asleep in his arms, he finally succumbed to his body’s demand for sleep.

  ***

  Rae’s eyes opened from the first peaceful night’s sleep since the abduction in the arms of the brave hero— the man she loved, his face next to hers on the pillow, relaxed and serene, long curly black lashes fanning across their lids.

  Raeden thought she might burst from excitement. She knew his secret and he would take her to St. Louis on the next train. When she heard voices in the stairwell, she carefully moved from the bed sucking in a breath against the twinge of pain in her chest. Trying not to disturb him, she crept to the door and peaked out. Diane walked toward her. She put a finger to her lips to keep Diane silent and pointed to Cash asleep on her bed. Pulling the door almost closed she whispered, “He’s so exhausted, he needs to rest.”

  Diane nodded and Raeden slipped back beside him, fatigued from the minor exertion, and watched him sleep.

  When his eyes opened, a genuine smile curled his lips and slanted his eyes. He propped his head on his hand looking down while his finger gently traced her face. “I finally got to spend the night with you again, my pet.”

  “I never thanked you for saving my life.”

  One side of his mouth crooked upward. “No need to thank me. It’s what any man would do for his future wife.”

  Rae eased upward, pushing the blanket to her waist. A hand dropped on her lap. Her heart raced. “What do you mean? I don’t recall any discussion of marriage.”

  He lurched to his feet. Eyes wide he stared down at her face. “You don’t think I wouldn’t marry you after your reputation has been sullied by our affair?”

  She glared back. “It is not my reputation you’re worried about but your own. What if I don’t want to get married? Have you thought of that?”

  The veins bulged in his neck but his face remained stoic while she continued the tirade. “Getting married will not make any difference and I don’t care about my reputation.” No way would she allow him to marry her out of pity and obligation, to play the valiant savior at her expense. She had plans, and they did not include marriage or staying in this treacherous country.

  In addition, what man would want a wife used by
two men? She felt like trash. The entire town would ridicule him and look at her like garbage. She also knew attempting to compete with the past life he had with the family he loved, would only serve to make them both miserable.

  Cash gawked in amazement. “I thought you would want to get married after all you have been through. For Christ sake, Raeden, you carried our child. I took your innocence.” His jaw flexed. “We are doing this and it’s final. I’ve made all the arrangements. People will arrive this afternoon expecting a wedding and that’s what we will give them.”

  Just what she needed, more humiliation and embarrassment. Too fatigued to argue, she lay down and watched him leave in anger. He can’t do this without my consent.

  Sounds of laughter and the bustle of busy footsteps echoed from below. Wonderful, Diane is having fun expecting a wedding not a grim scene. Maybe she could go through with this farce and have it annulled when she reached St. Louis. Yes, it could be done without too much effort.

  ***

  Diane whisked through Raeden’s open door wearing a deep purple chiffon gown, dressed for the ceremony. She looked stunning. Happiness beamed in every movement. “The minister will show within the hour. I will help you get ready.”

  “Aunt Diane, I’m so tired, I can’t do this today. Can’t we postpone?”

  “Nonsense, Rae, it will only take a few minutes. You can lie back on the sofa downstairs.”

  Did everyone in town want her married off? She must be ashamed of me. “All right, what should I wear?”

  “You will need something sleeveless because of your arm; hopefully we can squeeze the bandage into something. She opened the closet and searched through her gowns. “Here, this looks perfect. What do you think?”

  Not in the mood for any of this, “It’s fine.” Raeden stood with effort to walk behind the screen and put on petticoats then let Diane help her into the dress.