Echoes of the Heart

by Webb, Carole

  Her meal served on exquisite china consisted of quail with new potatoes and baby peas along with fresh bread and butter. It was such an elegant place to dine, she planned to come back with Sally and Jenny.

  While she dabbled with crème brule, Jenkins scanned the pictures looking skeptical but finally agreed to try the new idea after complimenting the dress she wore and Raeden pulled out the sketch in his stack. He asked no questions about her wearing one of the same garments but gave her a quizzical glance.

  Over tea, they discussed the show in Paris. He had gone every year previously and intended to do so again. Her entry still not completed, he expressed a desire to see it as soon as possible. He had marveled at her design and waited anxiously to see the finished gown.

  Her relationship with Jenkins had grown over time into a close bond, sort of like father and daughter. He gave her good advice and always mentioned how proud she made him when he showed off her talents to his clients and invited her to his home regularly for dinner with his family. She finally told his wife Amelia and him her entire story, relieved to get it off her chest.

  Fifty-four

  With his shirt unbuttoned exposing his chest, sleeves rolled to the elbows, hat cocked forward to block squinted eyes from the sun, Cash slapped rust colored dust from his jeans after loosing the last horse he had tamed.

  When he turned toward the house, he spotted John’s horse galloping full bore across the plains hurling dirt clumps in the air from its hooves.

  Sensing John’s excitement from the speed he traveled, Cash ran to meet him. John leaned back in the saddle, pulling the reins of his heavy lathered steed and forcing its head high. The hind legs slid under its belly into a skidding stop, its rump nearly grazing the ground. “Cash, the troops are in town. They’re headed for the hills!”

  Lips firmly drawn, he buckled on his gun belt then saddled Rabbit, grabbed a jacket and led her into the open. Grasping the horn, he effortlessly rounded a leg over her back, placing boots in the stirrups while the filly lunged, gathering speed as she ran. Over the clatter of hooves beating across the ground, he yelled over his shoulder. “Get a fresh horse and meet me in town.”

  Cash leapt from the saddle before Rabbit stopped completely; lather flying from her frame. Boots pounded against wood planks when he sped into the store. The commotion brought Diane, gun in hand to find Cash tossing items on the counter. Wide-eyed she laid the gun down. “Cash, what on earth is going on?”

  “The cavalry’s on its way to find Dull Knife and I’m going along.”

  Diane left and came in with Mike. “Mills is coming over. We’re going with you. Toss those supplies in the wagon.”

  John rode in and helped load then they rode off in the direction the soldiers had taken, and Cash hoped the Cheyenne had stayed in Canada but he would take no chances. If it came to a fight, he would stand with Dull Knife and take as many soldiers with him as possible. He had no fear of death only humiliation and his faith in the government dwindled with each passing day. It seemed almost impossible the strong warriors he grew up with could end this way. They had always been a part of his life and now like the buffalo, they faced extinction.

  Cash shot an antelope for meat while they traveled behind the procession of soldiers past the Black Hills toward the Canadian Territory border. The rocky land, stripped of vegetation by severe weather as they moved into Northern Dakota Territory became more desolate with each passing mile.

  At night, they bedded under the wagon and during the day, they kept their distance to evade the dust in the wake of the soldiers.

  On the second week out, a far away low cloud of dust caught the cavalry’s attention. Cash had seen it for miles. When they broke formation to send out a scouting expedition, Cash and John rode their flanks until they spotted the Cheyenne. They bolted ahead to meet them in an effort to circumvent a confrontation and soon realized the gesture had been wasted. A lump formed in Cash’s throat.

  He showed no emotion but his stomach rolled over looking at the tattered starving band of demoralized Cheyenne ceding without a fight. He had asked himself repeatedly how he might right this wrong, his only conclusion the path he had already taken in Congress. At this point, he could do nothing.

  Cash rode alongside Dull Knife while keeping a close eye on the soldiers, leaving only to hunt. The Indians could not leave the formation so he made sure they had fresh meat and allowed the soldiers to fend for themselves.

  Upon arrival in Chamberlain, the Cheyenne got crammed into a cattle car for shipment to St. Louis then on to the reservation in Oklahoma. Cash rode with them on the train and the trek to Oklahoma, again hunting along the way.

  Even in the spring, the weather became hot during the day, trudging through the dusty ground. At night, he sat around the campfire with his friends gazing at the star spattered sky, talking about the old days and what might lie ahead.

  He stockpiled as much meat and supplies as he could gather for them on the reservation before he made his way home, feeling sick to leave them in such a degrading place.

  Cash rode hard returning to St. Louis, all along the way thinking about the Cheyenne. He planned to hit the floor running when he returned to the Capitol at the end of the year, refusing to accept their fate. If it took the rest of his life, he would never quit fighting.

  While awaiting the train in St. Louis, he fought the temptation to visit Raeden’s family. He had avoided asking Diane about her and he would keep away from them as well.

  ***

  Cash stood near a fence at his ranch, trying to keep his mind centered, observing vast flocks of geese fanning across the sky filtering sunlight while migrating north along the flyway. He then gazed over lush green pastures at the round bellied heifers, admiring his spread.

  He thought of Raeden as he did so much of the time. Perhaps if she had not lost the baby, she would be standing beside him now. Nevertheless, he refused to be bitter. He had enough to last a lifetime.

  Casting all aside for the moment, he strolled to the house to draw a bath.

  The spring gala scheduled for this evening at Mike and Diane’s would be an opportunity to mingle with his constituents and he wanted to look the part. He would face re-election after the next session so he needed to start planning. This part, he would dislike the most. Though he had no alternative but to make concessions in order to carry out his plans, he went through the motions and dressed in his finest, wishing he could just go to the saloon and get pleasantly drunk.

  ***

  Cash stood on the front porch with Senator Wilcox and other townsmen at Diane’s, smoking cigars and discussing politics until the men’s wives began complaining and Diane ushered them back inside. He realized how much she reminded him of Raeden, so independent and feisty yet feminine and kind. He had always admired strong women? Would there ever be anyone again he might be able to love?

  He doubted it would happen unless he could rid his mind of Raeden. Whenever he compared her to other women, they always fell short.

  As the crowd dispersed, Cash thought a visit with Angie might be a nice distraction when Diane invited him into the parlor, her smile gone and face sullen with concern. His instincts told him she would be discussing Raeden. Could she be sick or injured? No, Diane would have said something earlier.

  Diane sat on the sofa. “Sit down, Cash. I won’t be long.”

  Not in the mood for a lecture, he dropped into a wing back, stretched his legs forward carelessly crossing his boots at the ankles and waited for the assault. “Cash, I think this battle between you and Rae needs to be addressed.”

  A smug look covered his increasing agitation. What is it with these people? Why can’t they mind their own business? First John, now Diane. He wanted to bolt.

  “I never receive a letter from Rae where she doesn’t ask about you.”

  Her comment got his attention but he would not let her know it. “That’s nice. She could have written me. I would have told her I’m fine.”

  Diane kep
t eye contact and continued in a quiet voice. “I know she loves you Cash, and you love her as well. Don’t try to deny it. Is there any way you two might be able to come to terms?”

  Cash straightened and leaned forward with his arms on his knees. “Diane, I have tried. All we do is argue our positions then she acts as if she hates me. She has never once said she wants me in her life so let’s forget this nonsense.” He started to stand. “I can’t listen to her tirades without desiring to choke her pretty little neck.”

  “Do you love her?”

  He sat back down, stunned by her question. “What kind of a question is that? Of course, I love her. I would not have married her if I didn’t. I have saved her life at the risk of my own and would trade it for hers in a heartbeat.” His agitation increased while he stared into her sapphire eyes.

  “Have you told her?”

  “Yes, she uses it as a weapon.” Cash recalled the morning in the hotel room in St. Louis when she spat out the words, driving him into a rage.

  “She has sent me papers to annul our marriage. Does that strike you as someone who wants to be married?”

  “Don’t be so sure, Cash. Sometimes women need assurance and with your past history, she may believe you had attempted to force her into something she cannot commit to, like when you bullied her into marriage.”

  Diane sat perfectly straight while he crawled into a defensive hole.

  “Rae should know how much I care for her but every time I try to make plans she rebels and runs.”

  “Well, maybe you are going about this in the wrong way.”

  His eyes squinted and his temper flared, muscles tensed into tight ribbons. “For Christ sake, Diane, when we touch each other I turn to mush. I know I forced her to marry me but godammit. If I thought it would have made any difference, I would have gotten down on my knee to propose.”

  Suddenly drained of false pride and tired of feeling like a cad. “I love Raeden. Everybody loves Raeden. Even my damn horse loves her. Her kindness to others and indestructible passion for living has crept into my soul leaving me craving a life I would never dreamed of having. I will always be grateful to her for that. I just don’t understand this obsession of hers.” He dropped his head in his hands combing fingers through his hair then raised his head to see the compassion in Diane’s eyes.

  His voice rose faintly in volume and his hands spread apart. “My new position is far more critical. Don’t you understand? The future of the Cheyenne must come first. The lives of two people fade in comparison to the destruction of an entire race doomed to live out their lives like caged animals or even worse, wiped off the face of the earth.”

  Diane placed a hand on his knee. “Is that the reason you separated?”

  “You could say so. She will never leave New York and Dull Knife needs me in D.C. I have racked my brain to find a way around the situation, but I always come up with a dry hole.” His lips pressed to a thin line, shaking his head in defeat.

  Diane removed her hand and stood, apparently ready to abandon the conversation. “It sounds pretty futile, Cash. Why don’t we end this depressing subject? I know you have important matters needing your attention, let’s just say goodnight. Maybe we can talk again at a later time.”

  Cash took long determined strides to his horse, swearing under his breath and rode into town.

  His stomach rolled over thinking of the conversation with Diane. Spilling his guts did nothing to improve his temper. The situation did indeed seem final, hearing the bare truth spoken aloud.

  Perhaps he should just get plastered and pick a fight, but had to laugh thinking of spending time in John’s new jail.

  With all said and done, he didn’t make a visit to Angie. He rode home feeling no differently than before and possibly worse knowing it would be hours before dawn when he could work out in the sun and direct his attention to affairs better suited for his well-being.

  Once Cash loosed Rabbit into the pasture, he stepped onto the covered planked porch to enter his house. After striking up a cut-glass oil lamp, he glanced around the first-floor rooms with cloth-covered furnishings protected from the dust.

  All the carpets had been stored above the second-story in the attic space under the high-peaked roof designed to minimize the accumulation of snow.

  Aside from the large kitchen and mud room off the back porch the first floor consisted of one large room allowing unconfined space and multi-purpose usage.

  Cash climbed the stairs located at the right side of the room to enter the master suite and fell into bed after stripping, to catch a few hours of sleep.

  Fifty-five

  Raeden relaxed in bed, feet propped on a pillow re-reading the New York Times articles she had saved and pasted in a scrapbook. She had taken the picture of Cash and the gorgeous Washington whore and carefully cut her out of the photograph then set her on fire. Her only picture of Cash, she carefully mounted it in a small silver frame sitting on her bedside table, a constant reminder of her baby’s father and the man who could make her furious beyond belief.

  The articles read like a book of horror about the atrocities leveled on a race too small in number to survive the onslaught of thousands of soldiers and she felt gratitude and pride for Cash and his selfless struggle against seemingly insurmountable odds.

  Even New York’s own Commissioner of Indian Affairs spoke out in print as well as public forums regarding the plight of the Indians and fought to help them whenever he found a sympathetic ear.

  Perhaps she had misconceived her dark-haired knight striking out with the sword of righteousness. It made her feel small.

  Setting the book aside, she laid her head on a pillow and let her mind drift into past memories and recalled Cash’s valiant efforts to save her life unselfishly risking his own.

  He had trudged through a blizzard tearing at life, freezing particles of glass severing every thread of one’s will. He had breathed the warm breath of life into her near frozen body. He amazed her.

  When she lay naked on the prairie, begging for a merciful end to her life, she had never really showed her gratitude, he had pulled her from the grip of death at the hands of two monsters. She was ashamed now at how she’d repaid him.

  She had written to Diane asking about the new scar on his leg he so casually snubbed as a scratch, and learned the wound had almost killed him. He had avenged her honor and helped to put her demons to rest.

  What woman would not want a man like him, handsome and courageous, strong and noble along with the tender loving side of his nature that would make him a good husband and father?

  She had seen Sally’s struggles to raise children by herself and she mentioned on more than one occasion how they missed their father. Between her job and caring for offspring, Sally did not have the time or the energy to seek another husband and father for her children.

  Raeden’s maternal instinct to have a good provider and protector for her and her baby gave her cause to reconsider the actual importance of her pursuit for fame and monetary success.

  Moreover, she truly loved him almost beyond reason and constantly yearned to have him close.

  What could she say about her change of heart to make him feel toward her the way he once had? Crushed in a quarry of need and desire, she cast her pride aside and moved to her desk to compose a letter. In all fairness to Cash and their baby, she must tell him he would be a father the end of September and let him decide.

  She would brave his wrath but the fear of rejection made her hands tremble while she put her feelings to paper, swallowing her pride.

  My dearest Cash,

  I sincerely hope this finds you well and happy in your new career, but missing me as I do you.

  The success I have achieved will never compensate for the love we once shared and I must apologize for my abhorrent behavior and cruelty after all you have done for me in the past.

  My worst transgression is not informing you we are going to have a baby. He or she is due in September and will need a fathe
r, as I am sure you will agree.

  I cannot begin to tell you how difficult it is to write this letter so please don’t judge me too harshly and do not make me beg. I would like to be your wife, if you will still have me and I will anxiously await your reply.

  All my love now and always,

  Raeden

  Droplets streamed down her cheeks and she moved the paper. She would not send a tear-stained letter. It would be too much. She did not want his pity, only his love.

  She didn’t know if she could, in fact, post the message but writing it down brought some relief from the turmoil festering inside, feeding on her pride and resolve.

  Task completed, she tumbled back into bed and placed her hands over the mound beneath her navel surprised at the degree of movement such a tiny being could generate.

  Fifty-six

  “Hello Diane, how is business?”

  Cash’s chiseled features faced her across the room and he definitely carried a different presence since putting his old ghosts to rest.

  “Hi, Cash. You sure look fit and relaxed. Guess ranching again suits you.” She stepped from behind the counter and gave him a hug.

  “It feels good to be back at the ranch again. I should do well since my Herefords outweigh a Longhorn by sixty percent.”

  His lean handsome body, a silhouette in the sunlight reflecting from windows, stood tall, feet planted slightly apart with thumbs tucked into the belt of his well-worn jeans. The aroma of soap and tobacco lingered around him.

  “That’s wonderful, Cash. When does the new session begin in Washington?”

  “Not until December. It gives me some time off after the cattle go to market in September.” He stepped forward, pulled the hat from his head and held it in both hands in front of his chest. Long lashes shaded his pupils while he rolled the brim of the hat around with his fingers. “Have you heard from Rae lately? Is everything okay?”