by Carly Syms
He sighed quietly, but his voice was upbeat. “Don’t worry about it. You’re not ready. It’s cool. I didn’t even know what I was planning was such a big deal, so I’m sorry for even making you bring it up.” He walked around to one of the benches and lifted the lid, pulling out a red cooler. “Hungry?”
I smiled, relieved he’d let it go, but still shaking slightly from my near-encounter with the deep waters beneath us. “Starving.”
We ate turkey sandwiches and pickles and sipped cranberry juice mixed with Sprite as we sat on the cushioned seats lining the side of the boat, floating up and down in the ocean.
“That was really good,” I told him once I’d finished my lunch. “Thanks.”
He shrugged. “What can I say? I make a mean sandwich, but don’t ask me for anything more than that.”
“Is our afternoon still a mystery?”
“Well, hopefully these plans don’t send you into a full-blown panic.”
I grinned. “I think there’s only been the one traumatic event like that in my life, so you’re probably safe.”
“Besides,” he said with a smile. “I’m pretty sure it’s impossible for you to hate Scrabble.” He reached down and pulled the board game out from underneath the bench and my eyes lit up.
“You remembered?” I thought back to my Scrabble joke at his baseball game.
He shrugged as if he’d grown shy all of a sudden. “Yeah, you said you love it, so I figured we could stretch out and play a few games. If you want to, I mean. We could go back if you’re uncomfortable out here.”
“No,” I said. “I want to play.”
He grinned. Jeff planned an amazing day for us. It wasn’t his fault that I was a complete and utter chicken about the deep. If I’d been able to get past that whole thing, today probably would have been perfect.
***
We sat there for hours.
I don’t know how long, exactly, we relaxed on the ocean, playing game after game, me winning one, him winning the next, our list of friendly wagers growing by the minute, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to leave, not ever. He made me laugh, he made me smile, he made me roll my eyes, and it was the best day of my life.
He looked up at the sky as we finished our last game and debated starting another one. I wanted to, of course, because anything else meant we’d leave and I couldn’t stand to see the day end.
“We should probably think about getting back,” he said, and I bit my lip. “I don’t want to go, but it’s going to be dark soon and we shouldn’t be out here.”
I sighed. “I’m sure you’re right. But we’re tied at ten games each. We’ve got to settle the score.”
He grinned. “Don’t you worry about that. We’ve got all summer to play.” He held up the pad that we’d been using to keep our bets straight. “And to work on these.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t hide my smile as we packed the Scrabble board into its box and climbed back into the boat.
Jeff made his way over to the controls to raise the anchor and I took a seat on one of the cushioned benches lining the boat as the engine caught and he began piloting us back to shore. Happy as I was to get back to dry land, I hated to leave this magical spot with Jeff. And for some reason, I hated that it was a place we’d never be able to find again, no matter how hard we tried.
I glanced over at him, blonde hair blowing slightly in the wind, eyes focused on the horizon. I swallowed, feeling the fluttering of my heart as I studied him. He looked perfect, gorgeous, more handsome than any guy I could ever remember seeing, as he sat there staring out over the ocean.
Jeff turned his head and locked eyes with me, catching me in my stare. I blushed and looked away, but not before I heard him chuckle softly.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him press a few buttons on the control pad before he stood and walked over to me.
The sky had begun to weave a beautiful pattern of pinks, oranges, yellows, and purples as the sun sank towards the sea. The wind wasn’t nearly as brutal as it had been earlier, the humidity of the day long gone.
It was, without a moment’s doubt, the prettiest I had ever seen the ocean.
And the happiest I’d ever felt.
Jeff stretched out his hand to me and I took it as he pulled me to my feet. I stood there, looking up at him, and he met my gaze, our eyes seemingly searching for something in each other’s expression.
He broke the silence first.
“Thanks for coming with me today,” he said quietly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and sending shivers down my spine. “I know it was hard for you at first, but I’m really glad you did.”
I smiled at him. “Me, too. I just--I felt like you’d get it and you did.”
He nodded, falling silent.
My heart beat furiously in my chest as he leaned in closer to me. My eyelids fluttered shut in anticipation. And then, just like that, his lips--soft and sweet--found mine.
My arms reached around and encircled his neck as his snaked around my waist and he deepened the kiss. I felt as though I could simply melt into him, right here and now, and never have to go back to shore. Nothing waiting for me on land was as important, as wonderful, as amazing, as what was happening here on The Lady & the Tramp.
He gently broke the kiss and looked down at me with a small forming on his lips before he kissed my forehead.
I’d been wrong before.
I hadn’t been happy before. I hadn’t even known the meaning of the word.
And I never wanted this to go away.
xii.
“Am I supposed to be surprised about this?” Gianna snapped her gum as I finished telling her about my day at sea with Jeff.
“Well...yeah,” I said, disappointed at her lack of enthusiasm. I’d been dying all day, waiting to tell someone about my date, and I’d been hoping for a little more excitement.
She shrugged. “What did I tell you before you went with him? He had the hots for you and you’d have a great time. And he does and you did. No surprises there!”
I sighed. “Okay, Gi, you were right, and I was wrong, and I’m actually really glad about it. I like him. A lot. Happy now?”
A smile crept across her face. “Now that’s more like it! Sounds like a heck of a kiss, too. You better be seein’ him again.”
I couldn’t hide my grin. Just thinking about Jeff brought a perma-smile to my face, but who was complaining?
“Tomorrow night. We’re going to Steamers for dinner and then he’s got some kind of surprise for me.”
Gianna raised her eyebrows. “Damn, girl, he’s taking you to Steamers? He likes you more than I thought! That place ain’t cheap.”
“I mentioned that it was my favorite yesterday and he jumped on it. What can I say?” A dopey grin crossed my face but I was incapable of stopping it. “He’s perfect.”
She shook her head. “Sounds like it. I wish I could get Joey to take me anywhere!”
“Speaking of that,” I said, realizing how rude I’d been not to ask her how things with him were progressing. “What’s new there?”
Gianna let out a long, dramatic sigh. “I just don’t know what’s in that boy’s head sometimes.”
“I’ve known him for awhile,” I said. “Hit me.”
“He’ll text me all day, but he doesn’t ask me to hang out!” Gianna blew out some air and shook her head. “I like him, but I don’t know how much more I can deal with this little kid crap.”
“Then ask him to do something.”
She looked at me as if she’d just found out that her puppy drowned. “I can’t do that.”
“Sure you can.”
“Nope.” Gianna closed her eyes and shook her head. “I have never asked a guy out in my life and that’s not about to change. We don’t do it like that in Jersey.”
“Suit yourself,” I replied with a shrug. “I guess you don’t like him all that much.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You don’t think he’s going to ask me?”
“Eventually I bet he will,” I said. “But he doesn’t get all that much attention from girls and I’d bet he has no idea you’re into him. So if you want to get this show on the road, you need to ask him.”
“What if he says no?”
I frowned, surprised to see the insecurity written all over her face. “What was that whole thing you said to me the other day? Great risk, great reward, losing out on something amazing because you’re too scared to try? I know you’re not a hypocrite, Gi.”
A cloud masked her face as she glared at me. “Using my own words against me? I’m hurt.”
I shrugged, trying to hide my smile. “Too bad. You know what you’ve got to do if you want to see Joey again.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Some of us have to actually work for a guy’s attention. Must be nice to have a gorgeous lifeguard throwin’ himself at you.”
I grinned.
She was right.
It was.
***
I used to laugh when I heard about girls taking more than half an hour to get ready to do something. What could they possibly do to themselves that took longer than watching an episode of Scooby Doo?
But I’d been staring at myself in the bathroom mirror for well over an hour now and my hair simply wasn’t going where it was supposed to. No matter how much I tugged, sprayed, moussed, and brushed, I couldn’t get those soft beach-loving waves that always looked so easy to create.
I sighed, tossing my brush to the side of the sink. I needed to meet Jeff at Steamers in twenty minutes and I was burning daylight. My hair would just have to do.
After slipping into a purple flowery sundress and gold-glittered sandals, I shouted to my grandmother that I was leaving and hurried out the door before she could stop me and ask questions I didn’t want to answer.
Steamers wasn’t too far to walk and I wasn’t about to ride my bike in this dress. Central Avenue looked beautiful tonight, lights shining brightly, happily, dancing down streets. People’s smiles lit up the night, the sounds of their laughter doing nothing but reminding me of how happy I was and how much I couldn’t wait to see Jeff again and make him smile.
I beat him to the restaurant, but decided to sit down at our table anyway. He’d be right behind me.
“Can I get you anything to drink while you wait?” A pretty brunette with a warm smile handed me a menu, which I put down on the table unopened.
“No, thanks,” I said. “It should only be a minute or two.”
She nodded and walked away. I glanced around the dimly lit restaurant, candles burning on each table, casting a warm glow on the diners. I locked eyes with the woman at the next table and she shot me a sympathetic smile and I frowned.
Did I look sad?
How was that even possible on the best night of my life?
I tried not to glance at the door, but it became harder with every passing minute. Still, I sat there, waiting for him, knowing he’d be there, figuring he got caught up on the beach. Maybe a kid had gotten stuck in a rip current and Jeff had to go in after him.
I smiled, thinking about the day when he’d suddenly appeared at my side in the ocean as soon as it looked as if I was in trouble. Jeff had watched me with Anthony.
“Are you sure there’s nothing I can get you?” The waitress returned, staring down at me with expectant eyes.
But I just shook my head. “No, I’m waiting for someone.”
She raised her eyebrows ever so slightly, but nodded and walked away for the second time.
I swallowed and glanced down at my phone, realizing I’d been sitting there for almost ten minutes already. Jeff was a lot later than I thought and hadn’t even bothered to send a text letting me know he was hung up somewhere.
I shot him a quick message, asking him where he was, and rested my phone on the table, my hand clutching it, needing to feel the trusty vibration of a response as if it was some kind of confirmation that he hadn’t forgotten about me, that I still meant something to him like he did to me.
The woman at the next table kept shooting me glances so I finally opened the menu just to have something to do with my hands, but the words swam in front of my eyes, not registering. I couldn’t stop looking up at the door.
As each second ticked by and the door remained closed, my palms grew sweatier, a knot forming in my stomach.
Just as I forced my eyes down to the menu, I heard the bells clang above the door and looked up eagerly. Finally, he arrived.
But a man and woman walked in together, his hand resting on the small of her back. My heart sank. Not only was Jeff not here, but the couple that I wished we could be was, and now I’d have to watch them act all lovey-dovey with each other when I couldn’t even get a guy to show up to eat with me.
Thirty minutes had gone by now.
As I watched the couple laugh together, each pointing out different menu options, pausing every now and then to kiss sweetly, I stood, seeing enough. I couldn’t stay here and watch this. I needed to find Jeff and figure out what happened.
Maybe he’d forgotten.
Or maybe I’d gotten the day wrong. Maybe we were supposed to meet tomorrow.
No. I wouldn’t screw something like that up. Not when it meant time with Jeff.
I kept my head down as I walked out of the restaurant. I didn’t want the sympathetic smiles and stares from the woman at the next table, the waitress, the hostess. It was like they’d all known this would happen as soon as I walked in alone.
The night breeze felt cool against my skin and I shivered. The lights weren’t shining nearly as bright this time and the laughter of people walking along Central Avenue did nothing but remind me of what I’d apparently lost.
I walked quickly down the street, suddenly needing to get back to Gull Boulevard, needing to get back to the lifeguard stand where Jeff worked, needing to see the emergency that kept him from me.
I expected to hear the scream of sirens, see the flashing lights of cop cars swirling around the street, Jeff in the middle of a heroic rescue.
But the street was quiet, undisturbed, almost eerie in its night silence. I wasn’t sure what to think now, but I knew I needed to get to the beach, find the lifeguard stand, and figure out what to do next.
My stomach twisted as I approached the beach bridge and I swallowed hard. My feet felt heavy, lethargic, as if someone had tied bricks to them when I wasn’t looking. I didn’t want to cross that bridge.
But I did.
As I walked down toward the sand, I caught sight of a couple standing where the breaking waves came into shore, their feet close enough to get wet each time a new wave rolled in. I smiled sadly and bit my lip, tears prickling at the corner of my eyes. Here was another set of people, lucky to have found each other, so happy to be together.
Why was it so easy for everyone else? Why couldn’t I find that kind of bond just once? Even when I thought there was a glimmer of hope for me, it was quickly extinguished, like a cold bucket of water thrown on me the second I got happy.
It shouldn’t have even come as much of a surprise anymore.
But it still did.
Every time.
I hoisted myself up onto the lifeguard stand, but it only made me sadder. I’d forgotten that I’d first met Jeff here and it was funny to think how much had changed in just a week.
My eyes drifted back toward the couple on the beach. They turned to face one another and embraced. As I watched them, unable to tear my eyes off them, I focused in on the back of the guy’s head.
I narrowed my eyes ever so slightly. His wavy blonde hair looked a bit familiar, like I’d seen this guy around. His build--tall and muscular, perfect for his height--reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
The girl leaned in close to him and he reached out and put his arms on her shoulders, preventing her from getting any nearer.
“What are you doing?” I heard her say.
“Brittany, I’m not--”
I didn’t h
ear the rest of his sentence.
My eyes widened, heart pounding, blood pulsing in my ears so loud I could barely think.
That hair...his body...Brittany...his voice.
Jeff.
Jeff and Brittany stood there together. Jeff and Brittany, the couple I’d been so envious of.
Joke’s on me.
My body felt as if someone had flipped the switch to auto-pilot. I jumped down from the stand, landing on my feet with a thud, and marched over to where the two of them stood together, talking quietly.
“This is why you couldn’t meet me tonight?” My voice dripped with ice.
Both of their heads swung in my direction. Brittany looked me up and down once and dismissed me, looking out at the ocean. But Jeff stared at me, his mouth open slightly, eyes wide and full of panic.
“Lexie! What--what are you doing here?” he stammered.
That hadn’t been what I expected him to say.
“What am I doing here? Are you serious, Jeff? Me? What are you doing here? We had plans tonight.”
“I know!” he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket and looking at the time. “Oh, God. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to miss it. I thought I could still get there on time.”
“You mean you thought you could fit both of us into the same night,” I snapped, glaring at Brittany. “It doesn’t work like that. You might think you can have us both, but I’ll never let that happen. I’d rather be alone than somebody’s second choice.”
“Lexie, you’re not--”
“I don’t really want to hear it. I’ll make your decision for you. And I’ll be sure to find a new spot on the beach.”
I turned and ran up the beach as gracefully as I could manage in dry sand. I stumbled only once as I hurried up the hill and onto the bridge, my feet slapping at the wood as I tried to beat my tears back to my bedroom.
I flung the front door open and leaned up against the door for a few seconds, trying to catch my breath.
