by Alisha Cole
Taking a deep breath, I avoid the desire running through my veins and hold still. “It just needed the string ran back through. You’re good to go.” He smiles; and I make what his touch does to me so obvious that his lips spread into a cocky grin. “Thank you.” I blush. He grabs a backpack, and we set off on an adventure, at least that’s what I’m calling it. “We need to swing by the store for some water and a few other things; it’ll only take a few minutes.”
Summer is approaching fast, but we still get cool mornings and nights. “Today is cloudy, but the air is mild and I sense a storm.” I peer out the truck window and then gape at him. “It’s fine; it’s like this all the time. It will pass over,” he argues. Bickering with Ethan is fun, he doesn’t take everything serious, or get mad when he is wrong. He just changes the subject.
We arrive at the store, and I follow him inside. I watch as he hurls a case of water on the bottom of the cart and then shuffles throughout the store for the other stuff we need. He tosses rope in the cart; and my eyebrows crease with concern as I question, “What is the rope for?”
“Rope is a must; you never know if you’ll need it.” His concerns, scare me. What kind of hiking are we doing? I trust in him that whatever it’s for, he won’t let me get hurt. I think . . . When we are done shopping, I help load our items into the truck. The clouds are getting lower, and the sky is beginning to darken. He still swears it won’t storm, and I chuckle at his reply. “It will blow over, and before you know it—sunshine and rainbows will appear. No, seriously if it rains I will shelter you.” He holds the door as he helps me into the truck, and then hustles to his side. As he climbs in, I ask, “Where are we going?” Ethan gives my leg a squeeze and says, “It’s an hour drive from here and . . . a surprise.” He sings along to all the songs on the radio, which shortens the ride. His voice makes me forget about everything. When we’re alone it’s like no one else exist, but one thought of Jesse makes my happiness feel wrong. Ethan talks about his family, his past, and I learn that Tommy is his cousin. I hated Tommy because he got Jesse into partying. Ethan usually follows Tommy to the parties, since he’s the only friend he has in school. I shouldn’t blame Tommy, but he’s that type of guy. When it comes to relationships, it’s easier to blame others. “You don’t have to like him, shit my mom thinks he’s a bad influence, and that’s her own blood,” he recites.
“Have any plans for summer break?” I ask, watching out the window. “Remember, I’m going home for the summer. I promised my mom I would.” His summer plans cause a pang to form in my gut. It’s only been a few days, but he’s quickly grown on me. I’m fond him being here, listening to me, and caring. I’m going crazy with all these emotions; I should be taking it one day at a time. “We’re here,” he interrupts my thoughts. But before I can reach for my door, he swings it open and extends his hand as he waits for me.
I look around, and all I see are mature trees. His seriousness towards hiking shows as he double checks our supplies. The trees are at the peak of summer, and the leaves are like massive green cloaks that keep the sky hidden. It’s beautiful and peaceful as I take it all in. “It’s stunning isn’t it?” he asks, taking my hand to turn me around to face the direction we are going to take. I’m speechless. Even during my childhood on the farm, I’d never seen anything like this place. “Where are we?” I ask as a group of dazzling, colorful butterflies flutter past my face. “This is one of the best hiking trails: Welcome to Happy Endings Resort! This is where I grew up, right here—on these very trails.” He turns to face me, and his gorgeous smile forms. “I am going to show you my safe place. I know you’re going through so much, and being with me, like this . . . is probably making everything harder. But I want you to have a safe place, so when you get to the point of wanting to be alone—you can come here. No cell phones; no one around for miles, just you and the wilderness.”
He doesn’t know it, but it’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me. My internal emotional battle is swaying towards letting Ethan win.
“Thank you.” Is all I can whisper—anything more would lead me to be a weeping mess. He stuffs the bag with all the items we need, and then pulls the straps over his broad shoulders. “Ready?” he asks, shaking his head when he sees my uneasiness. He holds my hand as we trek to the beginning of the trail, which leads uphill right from the start. It’s also the beginning of the burn I feel in my legs. The top is nowhere in sight, but I can’t ask him to stop. I suck it up and plow through it until we reach the top. I’m breathless as we come to a stop; and my body aches as knees shake. This is for sure one good way to find out how out of shape I am. His hands brush across my back, leaving a tingle in its wake. “You need a break, Lyly?” I shake my head no; I don’t want to give up, just yet. I sigh as I lift my head and see a start of another steep hill. “Okay, maybe a break is a good idea. Now for a serious question: are you trying to kill me?” I huff out. “Never. Trust me once we make it past these bluffs, I promise—you’ll be thanking me.”
I push the burning pain in my legs aside and power walk past him. I hear him snort behind me, and it makes me grin. We finally reach the top of the last hill; but as I take in the view around me, I gasp in delight. He was right; it was worth the crippling pain. I face a clearing that has a large creek, deep enough to swim in, and an open patch of fresh green grass that I want to lie a blanket down and relax with a picnic. It’s perfect—the surrounding trees sway in the breeze and flowers dance by the creek. I seal my eyes and allow this moment to cleanse my mind. Eyes still shut, I feel him move next to me as his arm briefly brushes mine. “This is my safe place,” he says softly. I open my eyes and turn to him. “Thank you for bringing me here. This has to be the most surreal place I’ve ever been.” I reach out, and place my arms around him. Breathing in his sweet and salty aroma makes my insides scream with want. I crave him, and right now nothing else matters. He gently squeezes me tighter, keeping me in his grip. I don’t know or care how long I make him hold me—it feels too good to let go.
“You know what the best part about this place is now?” he mumbles his hot breath next to my ear. I pull back and look into his needy eyes. “You.” He exhales and leans in. As if my emotions weren’t drowning me already, now he elevates them ten times more. I see it coming but have no time to prepare. He gradually lifts his hand, running it carefully down my cheek and then around to the back of my neck, pulling me forward slightly to meet his full and waiting lips. Once he captures me in his embrace, his tongue dips in and massages mine—and I moan on reflex.
When my desire escapes my throat, it gives him the okay to take it a step further. His free hand slides to my waist, lunging us closer and then he slips up my shirt. My nipples harden underneath the lace material, making the effect intense. His hands roam freely, up-and-down my back, and I relax into his warm chest. I let him feel all of me.
BOOM!
We both jump, pulling away from each other. Thunder rolls throughout the sky, and I feel the first raindrop hit my forehead. “I told you,” I giggle. “So what, this could be fun,” he smiles, palming my ass and lifting me up off the ground and then tossing me over his shoulder. “You’re nuts—put me down.” I smack his back, and then he smacks my ass. Before I know it, he’s sprinting and we become airborne as he leaps off a nearby rock. We plunge into the water and become a mess of tangles. The icy water throws my body into shock. As I break through the water’s surface, I gasp for air. But I don’t get a chance to scream because once more—he locks his lips with mine. The coolness of the water doesn’t compare to the heat he ignites in me. He’s more impatient and rough, as if pulling apart would be our end. His hands rush over my body, touching me in all the sweet places—causing each spot to tingle. I snatch up the bottom of his wet shirt and lift it up off his arms and then toss it to the side. It gives me access to kiss his sculpture-like chest and broad shoulders.
He’s greedy for control: he tries to lift my shirt up but it clings for dear life and gives him trouble. But
nothing stops him because he rips it apart and frees my chest. Being in the public eye doesn’t concern me, as the rain continues to pour down on us. He slows down his pace and takes me in as he reaches behind me and slips my bra to my elbows. Every fiber in me is begging for release. The rain mixes with the creek and splashes around us, as he lifts me up, pulling my legs around his waist. He doesn’t take it to the place I want, and I wiggle restless against him. “I want you so much, but I won’t take something that belongs to someone else. Say the words, Lyly—and I will give you what we need . . . right here—right now.” His words make me shiver, but I don’t know if I’m ready to let go, and I shut down. “I can’t . . . I’m sorry this is going too far—I’m not ready.” I pull away from him, and turn around to put my bra back on. But as soon as I leave his arms, I feel regret. The fire burns out, and my rejection creases at his face. I led him on. And now, he’s never going to want to be around me again.
Rejection, confusion, and aggravation spread throughout his features—and it’s obvious he’s hurt. Before my shirt floats away, I grab it and clench my arms over my chest and I push my way out of the shallow water. Shame keeps me from looking at him, so I grab a towel from the bag and tighten it around me. I shift to my left and see him sulking in the same place I left him. My eyes fill with tears, as I sprint towards the trail we came from. Without looking back, I race down the steep hills in the pouring rain. My face streams with rain and tears, and of course, I don’t see the branch sticking out of the ground that trips me. I tumble down the hill; and when I come to a stop, pain radiates throughout my ankle. Tears continue to flow and I’m . . . and I’m terrified. What if he leaves me here? Before I’m able to scream for help—he lifts and cradles me in his firm arms. Then without a word, he carries me down the last hill.
We reach his truck, and our reflections are more mud than anything else. Sorrow strikes me when I note our joint reactions: our faces lack the happiness from earlier. “Lyly, I’m sorry. I lost control back there. I don’t know what happened; I just care for you a lot and it sucks that I can’t have you. Just forget it ever happened, okay?” He wants me to erase one of the best experiences of my life? All because I can’t make up my mind. I snuggle into his chest, wanting to show him comfort. “It’s my fault, don’t worry about it.” I mumble softly. He checks over my ankle, and there’s no swelling or bruising. It sure does hurt, though. He left his bag behind when he saw me fall. And we leave without it as we hop in the truck and drive away. “I don’t want to sound like an asshole . . . or anything—but . . . if you want to be with him or whatever—that’s fine. We will go to the bar tonight; I will have Tommy get him there, and we’ll make him regret what he’s done to you.” I’m mute—I tightly hug myself as I swallow my emotions because his tone is different. And all the feelings I thought he felt for me—were left behind with his backpack. I nod my head in agreement, as we drive away in an unwieldy silence.
Chapter Eight
Losing the Battle
Ethan
Her rejection is a swift dagger to my heart because I’m falling too hard and too fast. I feel like the biggest piece of shit for not saying anything. She only needs me when she’s hurting, and I need to realize that’s all I am is her friend-zone knight. I need and deserve more from her, but it’s hard to get close enough to make her see it. Her soft breathing and the swooshing windshield wipers, keep me awake. As I drive I map out our plan and consider how she can win Jesse back. Jealously is the key: if he is in love with her or ever has been—then it will work. I just hope it doesn’t backfire.
I pull into the campus parking lot, and shake her awake. “Lyly, wake up . . . you’re home.” For a few seconds, she stirs and yawns until she slowly blinks her eyes open. She steps out of the truck with the towel tightly wrapped around her.
“You’re not coming?” Her frown tugs at my heart, but I can’t keep playing this game. I ignore her pouting and turn my attention to my steering wheel. “I’ll pick you up around eight.” She didn’t like that. “Okay . . . see you later,” she mumbles and then slams the door. Fuck. Being here for her feels like a mess and waste of my time, but my heart says she’s worth it. Like in the past, she’ll pick him—and I’ll drink myself into depression. Girls always pick bad guys over the good ones—what makes her any different? I talk myself down the whole way home. Maybe when I pick her up tonight, our tension will still be thick . . . and it will keep me from catching anymore feelings.
8:00pm
She answers the door in a skin tight black dress that stops right above her knees. And of course, my heart begins to race as all my pep talks vanish. Her hair is down, flowing in loose waves that frame her face; and light makeup accents her best facial features. I look around for the reaper because this girl is gonna be the death of me. She doesn’t dress up; she’s usually very causal, so this is new and so tempting. “You look breathtaking, and that’s an understatement,” I preach. Her eyes light up and her cheeks blush to a soft pink tint. She loops her arm into mine and softly breathes, “Ethan, I’m sorry for all the confusion . . . I don’t want to lose you.” At least she feels some sort of regret for putting me through hell. “Nothing to be sorry for, Lyly—I get it.” We leave the building arm-in-arm; I help her into my truck, and then we drive to the bar. I called and demanded Tommy to ensure Jesse would be there. I need to fix this, even if it hurts me in the long run.
We only have a few miles before we reach the bar, so I quickly brief her on our mission to make Jesse snap with jealousy. She agrees, but the uneasiness on her face shows she’s unsure. We squeeze into the bar, which is elbow-to-elbow full of patrons. Half-tipsy girls belt out the stupidest karaoke songs while the crowd cheers for them. “Over there.” I point towards the emptiest spot in the bar that is near the back. Only a few couples chat in the darker area, so I lead her in that direction. Our awkward, silent wait causes the air to thicken.
Hours pass as we uncomfortably sit mute and waiting for him. I shift to lock eyes with her, but our earlier moment and her need to look away, show her anxiety. My phone vibrates in my jacket pocket, I peek and notice that it’s Tommy stating that they’re here. Here we go. “He’s here—let’s do this,” I mumble in her ear. She nods her head and takes my hand. Judging by the faces we’re both wearing, it’s going to be hard to pull this off. “If this is going to work, you have to do everything I say. But don’t worry it’s all for show, okay?” I lead her over to the bar, buy her a drink and then causally pull her closer by her lower back. “He’s watching you.” I softly brush my lips across her ear, which causes her body to melt into mine. I rake my hand through her hair, touch her face and breathe along her neck. “You’re doing great.” It may be all for show, but my body betrays me. I want to tangle myself around her and be the one she shakes under—the one who makes her eyes roll back in pure pleasure. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jesse seething. He paces and never breaks eye contact with me.
“It’s working; giggle, Lyly—act like you want me,” I say, gently rubbing my hand from her shoulder and down her back. She leans in and brushes her lips across my neck and then to my chin. “I do want you, that’s why this is so hard.” As her lips inch closer to mine, I inhale her sweet scent. When we finally kiss, I know I’m no longer acting. Who knows if I’ll ever get the chance to do it again.
As I pull her out to the dance floor, Earned it by The Weekend fills the room. I turn her around until her ass is grinding against my cock, and my hands seize her hips. She works her body against me; and our genuine sexual tension returns with a powerful punch. It drives her wild. When she slides down my body and back up, my dick hardens more. I know she can feel my excitement through the thin fabric of her dress. She slides up for the last time, and I spin her around to face me until our noses touch. Our eyes unite, it’s as if we’re alone to do as we please. Her face shimmers under the lights as our breathing increases. I’d fuck her right now if she’d let me. The hunger in her eyes, mirrors mine. We’re in a dirty-dance trance
as my hands rove her body—she’s too into it to even stop me.
But then she rips away. “What the fuck, Lyly? Are you here to embarrass me? Who the fuck do you think you are, dressing like a slut and rubbing all over this guy?” My whole body heats and shakes with each word Jesse spits. He didn’t have to go to such a low, and I can’t hide the anger building in my mostly liquor veins. He continues to talk down to her, so I snap. “Don’t talk to her like that—” I yank his shoulder to face me and drive my fist at his nose. Lyly screams, and that’s it. My fists take charge and he quickly tumbles and becomes a bloody mess on the dance floor. “Don’t you ever call her that—again . . . you piece of shit. You fuck whoever you want, and get mad when she’s done with you? That’s not how it fucking works—learn some fucking respect,” I growl in his face and send another blow to his jaw. When I feel like he’s had enough, I look up to see Lyly’s face . . . and it breaks me.
Surprise doesn’t even cover her facial expression. “What was that?” she yells at me, pushing me to the side as she runs to him. “You know what that was? That’s what you wanted! You wanted this—Lyly! I admit, I’m furious; but this is why we’re here. I hope you guys live happily ever after . . . with all his side chicks,” I shout, stepping over him as I spit on his face. I didn’t mean most of it; liquor is like a truth serum—but goddamn it if it’s not true. She wants him back, she wants him so bad that she can’t see a good thing in front of her. My rage forces me to leave them, I burst through the crowd and out the door. I pace and regret everything, especially making myself looking like an asshole. “Fuuuck,” I scream, punching the side of my truck. Lyly comes out the doors and Jesse’s arm is around her; they limp towards an adjacent street. It wrenches my heart and I feel dizzy. I shouldn’t be so upset; this wasn’t the plan. But my feelings became involved and I fucked it all up.
