Taboo

by Leslie Dicken

  “I don’t. You can do whatever you like.”

  “Like break laws and build boats?” Even as she said it, she knew it was a mistake. He’d defend his ideas, leaving them both angry and unhappy. And yet, maybe it was best to part this way.

  Andreus stared at her, hurt lurking in his gaze. “I thought perhaps you were different, that you might understand.”

  She fought hot tears. “Ah, it makes sense now. You wanted me because I was an Aerotaun. You, the rebel, would take me by your side and show everyone how the two cultures could get along so well.”

  He sat up. “I did not use you. You could have walked away, said no, at any time.”

  “I’m walking away now, Andreus.”

  “To go back to your lover?”

  Lover? Oh, he meant Hanken. No, she could never go back to him, to live like a flower who would never blossom again. “I go back because the Dwelling is where I belong.”

  Andreus narrowed his eyes. “You mean the upper floors of the Dwelling.”

  Pain scratched at her throat. “I don’t have to listen to your bitterness.”

  “Bitterness? Have you any idea at all what it is like for us down below? Do any of you ever come down from your perch to peek at the life trapped below?”

  “No.” Ariana blinked, but it only blurred her vision. “In my innocence I always believed that just as birds had the freedom to fly, so too did fish have the freedom to swim.”

  He dropped his head into his hands. “Ariana…”

  “Good-bye, Andreus.” Like a falling leaf, the soft words drifted behind her into the shady darkness.

  Ariana rose up to the sky and started for home.

  Andreus waited, an ache expanding in his chest, until the approaching darkness drove him from the tree. The trip to the bottom seemed to take much longer than the climb up.

  When he finally reached the ground, the pain had deepened into a massive void.

  He swallowed against a tight throat as the awakening stars cast their glittering beauty upon the lagoon. A sweet scent of evening flowers perfumed the air. Even in the shadowed light, he could still see the rock upon which he’d found heaven with Ariana.

  Andreus clenched his jaw. Even the memory of those moments were not enough to remove the hollow emptiness.

  Had he used her?

  Certainly he found her attractive. He’d delighted in her slick warmth and responsive body. He was enthralled with her graceful flight, curious of her fears of the water.

  But he’d been compelled to have her since the very moment she spoke to him. Since the very moment he realized she not a Marimar.

  Perhaps Ariana was right. Maybe a part of him had yearned to capture the heart of Aerotaun. To prove that the two cultures were not so different, that love could break any barrier. Even one centuries old.

  Andreus took several gulps of water, unsettling several birds who’d come for a late swim. Yet the cool wetness did not alleviate the sting in his throat.

  He’d failed. Ariana chose to return home. She did not understand his plight or share his desire for adventure. To her, the last few days were nothing more than a learning experience in sexual gratification.

  Now what? He turned to face the line of trees. Deep in the shadows, his boat waited. It took him years to create that vessel, hours of solitary work with only a dream to keep him company.

  He and Darrius plotted their adventure as boys. Then as he grew into a man, Andreus promised his little brother he would find a way to take them across the ocean. He would not let the Aerotaun rules keep them trapped here.

  He found the root of a local plant, washed it in the lagoon and gnawed on it.

  In the dark, he crossed the grass to the boat. He didn’t need the sun to know the lines and shape of the craft. The smooth, silky wood felt like a lover’s skin under his fingers.

  Andreus had given everything of himself for this boat. Until he’d met Ariana. Now he could not bear to be near it.

  What good would it do him? Even if he could leave now, Ariana would be left behind. Once he departed from this shore, Andreus doubted he’d ever set foot on it again.

  This boat. His dreams. They were probably what scared her away. She even said she was frightened of doing something she’d never done, of the unknown, of change.

  Now, for the first time in his life, he was afraid. Afraid to spend the rest of his life without her.

  Andreus growled. If he wouldn’t risk burning the entire forest, he’d set a fire upon the craft. What did his dreams matter if Ariana was not a part of them?

  There was no point to remaining out here any longer. In fact, why return? The memories of the hut, of this lagoon, would only bring him anguish.

  He’d set out for the Dwelling upon the earliest light, but he had something to take care of first.

  Andreus retrieved his axe from the brush.

  Chapter Eight

  The smell of yesterday’s fire no longer lingered. Ariana emerged onto the roof of the Dwelling and glanced up at the orange sunrise. Here she was, at home, and yet she felt like a stranger.

  She didn’t know the dead man who was burned yesterday. He was an elder, holding a high rank among the Aerotaun. And so she spent the rest of the day angry with herself for rushing back. Even if she had to return, she didn’t have to leave Andreus so early. They could have had the rest of the day together.

  Ariana wandered past the chairs and canopies to the high wall overlooking the inlet. In the past, she barely gave a glance over the side.

  Today, she saw the Marimar swimming in the water far below. From this height she could not determine if Andreus was among them. What good would seeing him do? Besides making her knees weak with wanting his hands on her, she would only be reminded of their many differences.

  Of why they couldn’t be together.

  The crisp air settled on her skin like a numbing salve.

  “I have been offered the open position.”

  Ariana tensed at the sound of Hanken’s voice. She’d hoped to find peace this morning. Although she still awaited the Sacred Words, she did not want to see him now. She did not want to give him the answer he sought.

  He joined her at the wall. “You know the one left open by Garinger’s death yesterday?”

  She sighed and crossed her arms, but would not look at him. He obviously thought she might be more impressed by his new status. But it would take far more than that to win her heart. “I’m happy for you.”

  “Ariana.”

  She winced. She longed to hear it spoken with a delicious sensual timbre. Andreus could speak her name in such a way it made her toes curl.

  Hanken sighed, but did not push any further. “Are you ready to hear the Sacred Words? Your parents chose me to tell you.”

  Because they assumed she would wed him. He would be the one to go deeper, explain the rumors and half-truths.

  Her mouth dried. What if the full story was worse than what she already knew?

  Hanken touched her arm. “Tell me what you heard about The Landing.”

  She watched the Marimar move in and out of the water. None of them ever looked up to the sky. Or was it seeing the Aerotaun that they avoided? “I was told it was our ancestors’ fault that the space shuttle broke. The explosion was caused by a miscalculation. Of course, they would never admit this to the others.”

  “Ah, Ariana.” His fingers swept down her arm. She clenched her teeth, but didn’t move away. “You were told the common story but it is not the complete story.”

  She wanted to recoil from him, but the burning need to know the full tale forced her to remain. Glancing up into his blue eyes, she saw a different man than she knew last week. Hanken was not a bad person; he would not hurt her or leave her. He would provide for her well. But was that enough?

  “Then tell me.”

  He brushed blonde strands from his face and straightened to an official looking pose. “Having completed your Rite of Passage and spent four days alone, you are permitted to lea
rn the Sacred Words.”

  But she hadn’t been alone. She was with another man. A man who’d brought her ecstasy. A Marimar whose dreams rested on an accurate history to plot a new future.

  Hanken bent low, his warm breath near her ear. “What of my offer for you?”

  Ariana held her breath. She could never love Hanken, no matter how well he treated her.

  Yet, could she ever find love with any Aerotaun now? Each time she closed her eyes, she would see the powerful form of Andreus, his wicked sea-green gaze, that sexy grin.

  Perhaps she would never marry.

  Ariana lifted her chin. “Let us discuss that later.”

  Hanken’s blue eyes widened, his lips twitched. He must believe she wanted to tell him while they were alone in his rooms. He assumed she would accept his offer then open her legs to him. He was wrong.

  He reached out to her face but then pulled back. “Well, you are right in that it was our ancestors who caused the space craft to become permanently irreparable. But it was not an accident.”

  She snapped her gaze to his face, a knot twisting in her stomach. “Not an accident?”

  Andreus rounded the corner, his heart dragging with the supplies he carried behind him. He didn’t look up, didn’t want to see the Dwelling. He just wanted to vanish into his rooms and sleep his life away.

  Several friends waved their hellos as he passed, but he gave them barely a nod.

  An overwhelming sense of emptiness invaded his cells, as if he’d been outside the water for weeks. But that wasn’t what burdened him now. No, a different sort of loss drained him of life.

  “Andreus.”

  He lifted his gaze to see his brother standing near the Dwelling steps, his dark hair blowing in the breeze. “Darrius.”

  “You were gone longer than we expected. Are you unwell?”

  A sardonic grin curled Andreus’s lips. He was well externally, but inside he’d never be the same again. “I injured my ankle but it has healed.”

  Darrius raised a brow but did not press further. “Come inside. There is much I want to hear.”

  Only his brother knew about their secret boat. It was so taboo Andreus had never let Darrius help. He did not want his brother in trouble if they were caught.

  But what could he tell him now? Not only did an Aerotaun know about it and could possibly reveal its existence, Andreus did not wish to complete it. His dreams died the moment Ariana flew away. The moment she chose her world over being with him.

  Darrius helped to gather the tools and bowls he brought back. “You look as if you aren’t going to return.”

  Andreus squeezed his eyes closed and sighed. “I’m not.”

  A tight grab on his shoulder shook him alert. “Why? What’s happened?”

  Only the most magnificent, sensual, amazing days of his life. He glanced up to the high roof of the Dwelling. He could see figures up there, but it was too far to determine who.

  “It’s over, Darrius. This is our world.”

  His brother pushed him into the forest, away from prying eyes and ears. Finally, they stood deep in the shadows, where insects courted one another among the trees. The smell of sap permeated the air, reminding Andreus of the pudding Ariana had made. And how her tongue tasted just like it.

  His cock stirred under the cloth, bringing him more heartache.

  “I want to know the truth, Andreus.”

  Darrius crossed his arms, leaned against a trunk. His brown eyes glittered like the impatient young man he was. He needed only another year or two before maturity would give him tolerance.

  Andreus lifted a shoulder. “I have come to accept that the space craft cannot be repaired. I suggest you accept it, as well.”

  “Why this sudden switch?”

  Because the boat didn’t mean anything anymore. Not when he had to leave Ariana behind. “It took me a few days of solitude to realize we’ve been chasing rainbows.”

  Darrius narrowed his eyes. “You always go alone, this time was no different.”

  Andreus wearied of his brother’s relentless questions. Wasn’t it enough that his heart lay bare, exposed to the burning rays of the sun?

  “Leave me, Darrius. I will check in on Marita and then I need rest.”

  He turned to head back to the Dwelling, but a hand clamped on his shoulder. “I will not leave you until I have answers. Real answers.”

  Anguish mushroomed, expanded into rage.

  Andreus wheeled around. “Fine. There was a woman.”

  “A woman?” Darrius stumbled back, eyes wide.

  “Yes, a woman. But I cannot see her again, nor do I want to leave her.”

  “Why? Who is she?”

  Andreus hung his head, his chest aching. He pointed to the sky. “An Aerotaun.”

  Chapter Nine

  Hanken leaned against the wall, facing the courtyard. “As I said, it was no accident. The government of our home planet had a secret mission to colonize this world.”

  Ariana blinked, her mouth dry, palms damp. “Colonize? Are you saying they deliberately sabotaged the space craft so that no one could return home?”

  The knot deep in her gut tightened at his nod. “We were to establish a civilization. We’ve done rather well, don’t you think? We actually have two.”

  She clutched the railing, gulping the wave of nausea. To be a survivor on a remote planet was one thing. But to be an unwilling victim was quite another. Her ancestors used innocent people. Tore families apart. Created a world with hostility and deception.

  “Ariana?” Hanken took a hold of her elbow. “You don’t look well. I didn’t realize it would be such a shock.”

  “But-but the Marimar.” She pointed down below. “They have no idea. They’ve been living here under the assumption they were stranded accidentally.”

  “It’s been a very long time, Ariana. They have established their own culture and so have we. No one has been hurt by it.”

  But maybe they have been hurt. The bitterness inside Andreus was genuine. He spoke as if the Marimar were beneath the Aerotaun, not respected. They even had to live by others’ rules.

  She had to tell Andreus. He deserved to know the truth. If he wanted to take his boat and sail across the ocean to the space craft, he should have the chance. Perhaps it could be repaired now. Perhaps…

  Ariana glanced at Hanken’s pursed lips. They would never bring her the same pleasure she experienced in the last four days. “Were there communications back to the home planet?”

  Hanken’s jaw tensed. “Certainly in the beginning.”

  “And now?”

  He stared across the rooftop to the rising sun on the other side. “I wouldn’t know.”

  Somehow she thought he did. Right now it didn’t matter. She just had to let Andreus know, tell him he could follow his dream. But would she need proof?

  “I’m not feeling well.” In truth, she wasn’t.

  “Why don’t I take you to my room to lie down?” Exactly what she hoped he’d say.

  And, after a swift kiss on the lips and a gentle pat on the arm, Hanken left her alone in his room. Ariana waited a bit to make sure he wouldn’t return then got up to search the sparse area. Since they had to make do with whatever their ancestors brought with them, or what they found on this island, no one had many material possessions. Only the lucky few had old books, usually handed down through the generations.

  Paper was in such short supply that it was forbidden except for strict business reasons to write on any. And even then it was on paper ripped from an old book.

  Yet, Ariana searched through the room for any paper record of what Hanken just told her.

  Folded neatly in a basket next to his bed, she found a brittle sheet of paper. The writing scribbled around the margin of the original letter, inviting Hanken to join the leadership. There was nothing telling in there.

  But as she looked closer at the original letter, she could still make out a few words. Her pulse jumped as she saw an official looking symbol
at the top of the page. And elsewhere she caught the words “civilization” and “colony”.

  Pain sparked in her throat. By the stars, Hanken had been correct. And Andreus had been more right than he ever realized. His people were not survivors of a lost expedition. They were victims of a government research expedition.

  Ariana folded the letter and tucked it inside her waistband. Slowly she peeked out the door. Hanken was nowhere in sight.

  She watched the sun crest over the treetops as she clipped on her wings. Then, for the first time, Ariana descended to the dark water below.

  Andreus left his brother and started for the Dwelling steps. A murmur rose from a gathered crowd on the beach.

  As he got closer, fingers started pointing his way, then the group of people broke apart. And in the middle stood Ariana.

  His heart trembled, breathing halted, groin roused.

  She was beautiful. Like an angel, a butterfly. His little bird.

  Ariana ran over to him, her eyes bright. He didn’t expect her to fall against his chest. Gasps rose from the onlookers, but she didn’t seem to care.

  Andreus wrapped his arms around her, inhaled her sweetness. Contentment swam through his blood. “Oh, Ariana. What is it, my love?”

  “It’s awful,” she said against his skin. “You’ve been right. But it’s worse than you ever expected.”

  His pulse accelerated. “What is? I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

  She glanced around then led him down the beach to a private alcove, where several rotting tree stumps faced a fire pit. Birds chirped in the branches above them. “Hanken began to tell me the Sacred Words…”

  Pressure banded about his chest. Had she gone back to that man? Was she lost to him for good? “Sacred Words?”

  “My Rite of Passage. He told me what really happened, that not only did my ancestors disable the space craft,” she sniffed, “they did it on purpose.”

  He narrowed his eyes, clenched his jaw. She didn’t make sense. Why would the scientists strand themselves here on purpose? “Sabotage? But why?”

  Ariana brushed her hair over her shoulders. “Because they were ordered by the home planet’s government to colonize this world.”