Forgotten Love (Derrien Island Trilogy)
Page 18
“But, I need to make sure my father is alright first!” she added remembering the sad reason that brought them together in this way.
“I wouldn’t expect anything less Natasha,” said Marcus pulling back slightly and looking into her eyes noting that she no longer tried to avoid his gaze. He could see fresh tears beginning to well up in her eyes as she looked at him and he felt a tell tale pricking behind his eyelids that meant he would be joining her soon if they kept this up.
“When you are ready, I’ll be here! I am not going anywhere. I’m here for you!” he continued reassuringly.
“Thanks!” said Natasha, unable to believe that she could still be worthy of Marcus’ love. He was even more amazing than she’d ever given him credit for.
Natasha was not sure how long they remained there locked in each other’s arms looking at each other, but it was the sound of a throat being cleared that brought them back to the present moment.
“Natasha, your father wants to see you,” said her mother looking more at peace and wearing a slight smile as she regarded the intimate way in which she just found Marcus and Natasha. She thought to herself that sometimes it took a negative situation to bring everyone to a moment of clarity about what was most important in life. It was unfortunate when it happened but it had a way of turning things around. She could only pray that was what was occurring here between these two.
Natasha and Marcus slowly disengaged themselves and stood up. Natasha began to walk into the ward alone, but her mother stopped her.
“No Natasha, I don’t think that you understand. Your father wants to see you, both of you, together,” repeated Natasha’s mother clarifying the message.
Alarm filled Natasha’s features as she considered just what her mother was saying. She always tried to keep her father and Marcus as far away from each other as possible for good reasons. They just couldn’t seem to get along and Natasha wasn’t sure that her father’s wishes were a good idea given the present condition of his heart.
“Mother, are you sure? The nurse was adamant about one visitor at a time!” Natasha protested looking back and forth between her husband and her mother. She wasn’t going to let her marriage be the reason her father died today.
“I am quite sure! In fact, your father was quite adamant that he speaks with both of you right now and the nurse agreed on condition that he did not get too excited.”
“Well, let’s see what your father has to say to us Natasha!” said Marcus smiling in an attempt to allay Natasha’s fears. “I am sure it’s going to be alright!”
“Yes Natasha, it is very important that you do this!” pleaded her mother knowing that Natasha was re-playing in her mind the last time she and her father had a conversation in Marcus’ presence. It had turned into a shouting match of sorts with Marcus calling her father a grumpy, old, hypocrite and a fraudulent excuse for a reverend and her father saying that Marcus’ was an ingrate and a waste of human existence destined for hell fire. It wasn’t a good memory at all. In fact, up till this moment Natasha had almost convinced herself that it was a memory that she could forget.
“Mother, are you sure about this?” asked Natasha still shaking her head.
“I am sure!” she replied simply. “Now go on you two!”
Marcus and Natasha entered through the sliding doors leading into the ICU and followed the directions Natasha’s mother had given to them. Opening the door, Natasha saw her father propped up in bed waiting for them to arrive. He was hooked up to a heart monitor that beeped in the background and to drips supplying him with fluid via IV. He looked different not being arrayed in his usual three-piece suits or majestic purple robes but instead looked almost boyish and vulnerable in his speckled hospital gown.
Seeing them at the doorway he beckoned them over to come closer with a weak wave, to sit in the chairs that were placed near the bed for his visitors.
“Father, how are you feeling?” asked Natasha as she sat down looking at her dad with concern. His face was drawn and tired-looking and his voice was not as strong as it was before.
“I’ve had better days and my chest feels as though it was run over by a steam roller, but I am thankful to be alive. I was really pushing myself too hard preparing for the conference and also trying to play in that cricket game too,” he replied hoarsely.
Marcus did not go inside with Natasha immediately, but waited near the door to be invited to enter. Rev. Mitchell looked at him then and said in a gentle and surprising tone,
“Marcus come and sit as well. I want to speak with you too!”
Marcus joined Natasha and sat in the second chair that had been placed beside the bed.
“I’m glad to see you are improving, sir,” said Marcus sincerely. He had realized long ago that Natasha’s father was only looking out for his daughter in his dealings with him, but he just did not know how to do it. Instead his gruff manner and constant impossible expectations had driven her to depression and obligation and him to many arguments with his son-in-law.
“I asked both of you to come because I do not want to waste another moment before I clear up this mess going on between us. Six years is long enough! As a minister I often preach about eternity rather than what happens now. But this experience woke me up to the fact that all we really have for sure is now and I needed to do more to make those moments count for something. I want you both to know how sorry I am that I treated you so unkindly all these years. Please forgive me”, he asked brokenly. “I know this may have taken you by surprise but I have been thinking about this for some time now but I never had the courage to call you and say anything. Marcus, I am sorry for making you feel so unwelcome in this family even though I could see how much Natasha loved you, and I can’t say enough how sorry I am about that”. Natasha’s father paused as his eyes filled up with unshed tears.
Natasha knew that her father was a proud man and to do this he must have really thought it over a lot. She felt her heart soften toward him and grasped his hand where it lay on the bed.
“It’s okay Father!” said Natasha comfortingly.
“No honey, it is not okay how I blamed you for little Sara’s death and the things I said to you about this marriage were unforgivable. I want you to know that and I ask your forgiveness. I know I helped to add to the tension in your relationship instead of helping you to resolve the issues,” said Rev. Mitchell as tears began to flow down his face.
“Dad, you need to calm down, you just had a heart attack,” warned Natasha.
But her father was adamant and focused his gaze on Marcus. Although his body looked weak, the fierce determination to be heard was still clearly reflected in his eyes.
“No, Natasha, I don’t know how much time I have left and I need to say this. It is very important. Marcus, I know you have tried to be a good husband to my daughter over the years but instead I focused on all the wrong things like the pregnancy and the rushed marriage. I couldn’t see that you were a blessing to us and instead I treated you like a curse. Will you forgive me, son?” added Rev. Mitchell emphasizing the last word as a sign of his sincerity.
Never in the six years he’d been married to Natasha had her father ever extended a moment of warmth toward him, much less to call him son. He was made to feel like a pirate who had stolen a father’s greatest treasure and then discarded it on an isolated beach somewhere. His unbelief and blatant scorn were some of the reasons he’d been so driven to accomplish as much as he did! He swore from the first day they met that he would never let this man see him fail to take care of his only daughter and he had done just that, at least in the material sense.
He regarded the man sitting before him and realized that Natasha was not the only one bending over backward to please this man but in his own way, he was as well. So many years spent hating this man, being driven to his limits to do all he could to give Natasha the life of wealth she had grown up with only to have her leave him too. He had in a way become her father and that thought left him shaken. It was time to put
all of this to rest and Marcus suddenly felt as though a weight was lifted from his shoulders, a weight he had been carrying around for years.
“Rev. Mitchell, I think that it is time for me to put down my weapons as well. I also apologize for the times I was disrespectful to you and added fuel to this situation. The truth was that I loved and I still love your daughter with all my heart and soul and I only wanted you to see that,” said Marcus looking at Natasha.
He watched her green eyes widen with surprise at his bold admission in front of her father.
He continued, “I just wanted you to think that I was worthy of her and it was frustrating that I could never do anything right in your opinion. But, as you said, this has gone on long enough and I forgive you too, and I forgive myself,” replied Marcus sincerely.
“Thanks Marcus, that means more to me than you could ever imagine. So I want you and Natasha to resolve this separation. I have had the opportunity to watch the two of you together and Nat, I know beyond any shadow of doubt that Marcus sincerely loves you. I also know that you still love him. I have been following your singing career and you are free to pursue your dream but don’t ever forget God or your promise to him to love this man till death,” said Rev. Mitchell gesturing toward Marcus. We saw the video to your song and your mother and I know that you can’t really be happy doing what you are doing now. I know this is your dream and we want you to be truly happy, but achieving a dream in the midst of a miserable life will never be worth it and you will only have regrets. Whatever you decide we are here for you, remember that, said her father now struggling to suck in a lungful of air after expending so much energy after his speech.
At hearing those words from her father, Natasha felt as though she would burst. She had avoided calling her parents when she left because she was afraid that they would try to manipulate her into quitting. She tried to hide how miserable she felt inside from everyone but her parents saw through her facade, saw her misery behind her success. He didn’t berate her but offered her his unconditional support even though he clearly did not agree.
“Father, I just want you and mum to be proud of me,” said Natasha as tears rolled down her cheeks and she squeezed her father’s hand.
“What about Marcus, Natasha? Don’t you want him to be proud of you too?” pressed Rev. Mitchell insistently.
“Father,” began Natasha and her voice trailed off as she looked at Marcus. He too was looking into her eyes and they reflected a burning desire to know the answer to that question as well. She felt naked and exposed under his gaze and a sense of her betrayal washed over her heart.
“Okay, I think that is enough for today!” said the short nurse who had escorted them in earlier. “The Reverend needs as much rest as possible!”
Quietly, Natasha exhaled a sigh of relief at being rescued from her fate. She knew that her father meant well and he was a professional at marriage counselling but she did not want to have this conversation here and certainly not now. Not before she and Marcus had a chance to discuss their own feelings.
She hugged her father and allowed to nurse to escort them back outside to the hallway where her mother was waiting.
“How was it dear?” asked her mother standing up quickly from her seat.
Natasha hugged her mother. “Mom you were right, it was alright! I think things are going to be alright!”
Chapter 16
After the hospital visit, Marcus dropped off Natasha at the hotel and was very gracious about postponing their conversation till the next day until she got some rest. The flight had left her totally jetlagged and she was more than emotionally spent after meeting with her father. So he helped her get checked in and walked her to her room. After hugging her briefly and kissing her gently on the cheek he allowed her to go in promising to come by the next day. Natasha stumbled across the floor to the bedroom after depositing her suitcase near the door. Falling across the bed she drifted off to sleep almost immediately.
In the morning when Natasha rolled over, she was at first a little disoriented and wondered where on earth she was. Slowly the memories came flooding back and she tried to roll over from her stomach onto her stiff back. From her horizontal vantage point she had the chance to look around the room.
No wonder her friend Ramon had chosen this hotel as the site of his second honeymoon. This room was absolutely breathtaking in it’s’ hues of crème and orange. A sliver of sunlight snaked in under the corner of the curtain illuminating a vase of brightly coloured fresh flowers that stood on the writing desk.
As her thoughts turned to her friends Ramon and Courtney, she smiled because despite the many difficulties they experienced, they had managed to hold on to each other and rebuild their marriage stronger than ever before. It had only been almost six months since she caught the bouquet at their sunset wedding at the marina. She remembered the way they had looked at each other as though nothing and no one else existed that night and for a brief moment she had almost reconsidered her decision to leave Marcus. Especially when she caught the bouquet!
After having a shower, she changed her clothes and sat on the balcony to enjoy the salty sea air she sorely missed. She noticed after her shower that she did not have her carry-on luggage with her. Lucas must still have it with him, she thought with dismay. She did not have her toiletries but thankfully the hotel supplied her with all she needed including a brand new toothbrush, bath soap, shampoo and even a floral body mist. That was a touch of class she really appreciated especially today.
With the surprise of seeing Marcus and wanting to see her father she’d completely forgotten about Lucas. She would have to get her things from him later when he contacted her. She hoped that he did not find too much difficulty in locating a hotel room.
She sipped on the glass of chilled orange juice and bit off a piece of the buttered toast that was a part of the delicious breakfast that room service brought up for her. It was a surprise considering that she did not order it, but well thought out considering that the plate was filled with all of her breakfast favourites. There was a generous heap of caramelized bacon with eggs sunny-side-up, toast and fresh cubes of cantaloupe with a flagon of hot steaming ginger tea. It was perfect especially being able to enjoy it in the warm salty air blowing off the sea below. It must be Marcus that she had to thank for this. He was the only one who knew that this would have been perfect for her.
It had been such a long time since she had a swim and today she decided that she had waited long enough. She was home and in the distance the glittering turquoise waters seemed to be drawing her in by pure magnetism. She always travelled with a bathing suit in case she got a chance to swim in the pool during her down time so she was sure to have one in her suitcase. She did not have much of a chance to unpack after the trip to California and she only switched out a few of the outfits when she’d rushed home from the restaurant the day before.
Swimming was one of her favourite ways to relax. She had been under so much stress lately with the album recordings, image appointments, interviews, concert rehearsals, finalizing the divorce and now her father’s illness. This swim would be a welcome relief from it all!
Her thoughts of swimming were suddenly interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. Looking at the screen she saw Ashley’s name and number come up. She really had a lot of nerve for the stunt she pulled off yesterday but somehow Natasha felt more grateful than angry at her friend.
“Hello traitor!” she answered with mock seriousness.
“Natasha, you know I love you, you are my girl and I would never do anything to hurt you!” responded Ashley defensively.
Natasha laughed out loud at her friend’s nervous response.
“You can relax, everything worked out fine. I am not mad at you for lying to me. Although it would have been nice to see you,” said Natasha smiling.
“Seriously? I switched with Marcus and you are laughing?” asked Ashley grateful for the happiness she heard in her friend’s voice.
“Yes, it all
worked out for the best. We ended up having a really important conversation with my father. So I really should thank you instead!” replied Natasha, imagining the stunned expression on Ashley’s face.
“You guys spoke to Rev. Mitchell and it was great? I am having trouble believing you,” said Ashley in complete shock.
“Well I guess his brush with death allowed him to think about some things and we were all able to finally put the past behind us!” replied Natasha. “He asked for our forgiveness, and I do not remember a night when I slept so peacefully. It is as though something was lifted from my shoulders.”
“Wow,” was all Ashley could say in response.
“Yeah, wow! It was an answer to my prayers over the years. All I wanted for so long was for my parents to accept that Marcus was the one I chose to be with!”
“How did Marcus respond to that?” asked Ashley.
“He was really gracious and he forgave my father as well. I can’t tell you how good that felt. I only wish we could have had this conversation before.”
“Why?” asked Ashley listening to the regret in her friend’s tone.