For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels won’t, and all the powers of hell itself cannot keep God’s love away. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, or where we are–high above the sky, or in the deepest ocean–nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when he died for us. (Romans 8:35-39, TLB)
But the Lord is faithful; he will make you strong and guard you from satanic attacks of every kind. (II Thessalonians 3:3, TLB)
I especially wanted Jeff to read and study the verses from Romans because they offered hope to every sinner in the world. I wanted Jeff to know that the power of God’s forgiveness was limitless. I wanted him to find peace in the power of God’s ultimate love. Nobody could love anyone greater than God. I believed that and I wanted Jeff to feel God’s unconditional love. I wanted him to reach out and touch the hand of God and to become one of his children.
Twenty
Hearing Day Arrives
Stand steady, and don’t be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Bring others to Christ. Leave nothing undone that you ought to do. I say this because I won’t be around to help you very much longer. My time has almost run out. (II Timothy 4:5-6, TLB)
Wednesday, March 11, 1992.
After breakfast and shaving, we could go outside for recreation for twenty minutes. As usual, neither Jeff nor I attended recreation. I’m not sure why Jeff never wanted to go outside, but on that day, I was too nervous about that afternoon’s conduct hearing.
I told Jeff about my hearing. We talked about what I could get as far as additional time if I was found guilty. He wished me luck and said he hoped everything came out OK.
Jeff’s usual bags of mail arrived and, just as they had done every day, security spent hours sorting the letters on large tables down the hall.
Around 1:30 p.m., two officers came to get me for my hearing. They shackled my feet, cuffed my hands, and escorted me to the hearing room in Desegregation Unit 1. The room looked just like a small courtroom.
The two officers stood guard during the proceedings. Also present were the captain, unit manager, the officer who found the razor blade in my cell, and the social worker who was my math teacher and character witness.
I sat down, shaking because I was so nervous. I lowered my head and prayed silently to myself. Please, Lord, be with all of us today, and let the truth come out. I have faith that the truth will set me free. Praise you, God. Amen.
After the officials read the charges against me I told my side of the story.
“I use Magic Shaving cream,” I said, “and I buy thirteen-cent disposable razors at the canteen. I don’t even use that brand of blade. I didn’t know the razor blade was in the window.
“I haven’t had any problems with security since I came here. I haven’t had many conduct reports in my whole life.”
I didn’t want to sound desperate or scattered, but my words spilled out faster than I could control them. I was innocent.
“Besides,” I continued, “the warden told us he would be doing searches. Because I didn’t have anything to hide, I didn’t even worry about it. I didn’t even bother to clean my cell because I wasn’t worried about the searches. I don’t have any enemies here, so why would I even want a blade like that?”
I received a copy of the “Record of Witness Testimony” report, signed by one of my teachers, Bruce Tulpa. Mr. Tulpa wrote, “I have no personal knowledge of the conduct report. Calvin is an excellent student. Above expectations. No problems with other inmates or in class.”
Also on that same sheet was Officer Hoffman’s report about finding the razor blade. He wrote, “The item was a razor blade removed from a razor. Had tape across the back side of the razor–fully left the razor’s edge exposed. Found in upper right-hand corner of the screen, partially stuck in the sealer of the screen. A person could have gotten the razor out with a paper clip. Nothing else was found of any type from that razor.”
I felt sick and nervous but tried to focus on remaining calm. I prayed again.
Committee members discussed the evidence and my testimony, and then voted “not guilty” on all three charges. On the written report titled, “Disciplinary Hearing: Reasons for Decision and Evidence Relied On,” dated March 11, 1992, which security gave me later that day, it simply said, “Charges do not substantiate a finding of guilt. Dismissed.”
I was so happy; I let out a huge sigh of relief. God answered my prayers.
The relief I felt was incredible. I thought about that poem, Footprints in the Sand, where the man learns that in the times of greatest stress and hardship, instead of walking beside him, God actually carried him in his arms. I felt that was exactly what happened to me. All I could say when it was finished was, “Thank you, Jesus. Thank you. Praise God. Thank you, Jesus.” I said it over and over as officers escorted me back to my cell.
I returned to gather my things. Finally, I could leave the restricted area.
While I was packing, I told Jeff that things had gone well for me, that all the charges were dropped, and that I was being moved to a different unit.
“Praise God,” Jeff said. “I’m happy for you, man.”
I added a few “praise God’s” of my own and, as I gathered up my things, I told Jeff that I’d keep writing letters to him. I couldn’t resist asking him a few more questions before I left.
“Tell me, Jeff, did you honestly have sex with those men and boys after they died?”
“Yes.”
“What drove you to do that?”
“Desire, I guess.”
“How many did you have sex with?”
“Roughly most.”
I shook my head, still finding it hard to believe that this man I had befriended in the cell next to me had committed such monstrous crimes.
“Well, Jeff, take care of yourself. And don’t forget to read your Bible every day. I hope you read all those verses I gave you. I’ll be writing you from wherever they send me. So long.”
“Yeah, Calvin. You take care.”
I had mixed feelings about leaving Jeff. I was extremely happy to be out of the desegregation unit and on my way to better things. At the same time, I felt sad for Jeff and, in a way, I was going to miss him. I prayed that he would keep God in his heart and do what he could to make the best of his future. I hoped he would let go of his demons and try to live in a new light.
I knew I had done all I could to help Jeff. I could only hope that Jeff used the tools I gave him to help himself. It was up to him now, but I would continue to write and offer encouragement.
Around 3 p.m., I arrived back at my old cell, Cell 35 in Unit 2. My buddies were glad to see me and I was glad to see them. It felt good to be back where things were somewhat normal.
“Hey, Calvin, you look like you lost weight,” one of my friends said.
“I did,” I said, thinking about the gruesome stories Dahmer told me that killed my appetite.
“Calvin, man, you only been gone a few weeks. You couldn’t eat?” I knew they were curious about what happened to me while I was away.
I told them where I was, that I lived in the cell next to Dahmer, that I talked to Jeff about his crimes.
“Hell, no. I had a lot on my mind. I was nervous about my hearing, plus hearing some of Dahmer’s stories got to be a bit much at times. I lost my appetite a lot.” For the first time I laughed a little while thinking about it.
My time with Jeff already started to feel like a lifetime ago. It was nice to be back.
A few days later, I sent Jeff a letter and a Christian card that I got from the chapel. I wrote a note on the card telling him to be sure to stay with God. Here’s what I wrote:
May today be a blessing, Jeff. It has been awhile since we spoke or saw one another and, just as I said previously, I would continue assisting you with knowing our Lord Jesus.
First I want to share with you something I have learned through studying
the Word. It’s related to some of the things from the Bible and what the Bible stands for and means. Since you want to live for God, here is what the word Bible means:
B – Bibliographical
I – Internal Harmony
B – Bible Prophecy
L – Lord’s View
E – External Evidence
Also, Jeff, the word FAITH stands for:
F – Forsake
A – And
I – I
T – Trust
H – Him
So, brother, that’s all good for you. Please read these scriptures to assist you with your walk with the Lord: II Timothy 3:16, II Peter 1:16, Hebrews 1:1-2, John 3:18, and Mark 13:31.
Well, Brother Jeff, I am ending this letter and my prayers are with you.
Brothers of Christ,
Calvin E. Martin
The whole Bible was given to us by inspiration from God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives; it straightens us out and helps us do what is right. (II Timothy 3:16, TLB)
For we have not been telling you fairy tales when we explained to you the power of our Lord Jesus Christ and his coming again. My own eyes have seen his splendor and his glory. (II Peter 1:16, TLB)
Long ago God spoke in many different ways to our fathers through the prophets [in visions, dreams, and even face to face], telling them little by little about his plans. But now in these days, he has spoken to us through his Son to whom he has given everything, and through whom he made the world and everything there is. (Hebrews 1:1-2, TLB)
There is no eternal doom awaiting those who trust him to save them. But those who don’t trust him have already been tried and condemned for not believing in the only Son of God. (John 3:18, TLB)
Heaven and earth shall disappear, but my words stand sure forever. (Mark 13:31, TLB)
The next week, sometime between March 15 and March 19, I heard on the radio that Jeff had returned to Desegregation Unit 1 after he was caught trying to confiscate a razor blade.
Security must have given Jeff a razor, but when security received his razor back, he had removed the blade. The officers found the blade wrapped in a tissue in his wastebasket. Jeff knew inmates weren’t supposed to take the blades out of the razors, so I earnestly believe he was up to something.
I thought about all the other inmates on the unit who had been threatening him day after day and wondered if Jeff’s life was filled with so much fear that he’d kept that blade as security. The thought also crossed my mind that he was filled with so much despair, that he was thinking about ending his own life.
I was sad that day. More than anything, I cared about Jeff’s soul. I wanted him to live for Jesus, because for Jeff, that’s all he could do. Being with Jesus was all he had to look forward to and I didn’t want him to forsake that.
I wondered what he was doing, what he was thinking or feeling. I prayed that Jeff would stay strong.
Twenty-One
Corresponding with Jeff from Afar
Turn from all known sin and spend your time in doing good. Try to live in peace with everyone; work hard at it. For the eyes of the Lord are intently watching all who live good lives, and he gives attention when they cry to him. (Psalms 34:14-15, TLB)
As soon as the security officer noticed the blade missing from Dahmer’s razor, other officers arrived at his cell. They handcuffed Jeffrey, opened his door, and told him to step out of his cell.
Security searched everything inside the cell and one officer found the blade hidden in the plastic trash basket. Jeff returned to the glass tank in Desegregation Unit 1.
The officer who found the blade wrote up a report stating Dahmer tried to conceal the blade in his trash basket. All three offenses that were on my conduct report were now on Jeff’s: damage or alteration of property; possession, manufacture, and alteration of a possible weapon; and possession of contraband, miscellaneous.
If Dahmer had asked for a due-process hearing, he could have called fellow inmates, staff members, or officers as witnesses. If he requested it, Jeff would have gone through everything I did with my razor-blade incident, but he didn’t bother. Even though the media knew of Dahmer’s razor-blade incident, the whole thing blew over in a few days.
Things at Columbia returned to normal for the next few months … with one exception: I was no longer there.
On Monday, March 23, 1992, at 8:30 a.m., I was transferred to the Racine Correctional Institution in Sturtevant, Wisconsin. The Racine facility is a medium/maximum-security institution.
I didn’t lose contact with Jeff, however. Nor was I kept in the dark about what was going on at Columbia. I learned that my friend Mark was in my old cell next to Dahmer’s. Mark wrote and told me the Columbia gossip. I wondered if Mark ever talked to Dahmer and, if he did, I wondered what they discussed. A few of my friends who were swampers at Columbia also transferred to Racine and gladly shared what they’d seen and heard about Jeff during the course of their jobs.
I learned that after a month or so in the glass tank, Jeff spent the month of May and part of June back in Cell 1. Mark said they gave Jeff a TV, radio, and a fan during those hot months, which was more than the other prisoners got. He said the officers also let him go into the dayroom where he could watch TV by himself or make phone calls. He was always alone.
In the meantime, I attended church services every week at the Racine institution. Pastor Tommy Thomas was a rehabilitated ex-con who gave up a life of crime and drugs. I liked Pastor Tommy because he was somebody with whom I could identify.
I also continued my classes in school and, often in the evenings, I’d write to Jeff.
The next time I wrote to Jeff, I thought about all the mail he received and how he chose just twenty-five letters a day to read. I was determined, with God’s assistance, that he would choose my letter. In that particular letter, I wrote about Paul’s struggle as described in Romans 7:15-25. I copied those verses in the letter so Jeff wouldn’t have to look them up.
I don’t understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I can’t. I do what I don’t want to–what I hate. I know perfectly well that what I am doing is wrong, and my bad conscience proves that I agree with these laws I am breaking. But I can’t help myself, because I’m no longer doing it. It is sin inside me that is stronger than I am that makes me do these evil things. I know I am rotten through and through so far as my old sinful nature is concerned. No matter which way I turn I can’t make myself do right. I want to but I can’t. When I want to do good, I don’t; and when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway. Now if I am doing what I don’t want to, it is plain where the trouble is: sin still has me in its evil grasp.
It seems to be a fact of life that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love to do God’s will so far as my new nature is concerned, but there is something else deep within me, in my lower nature, that is at war with my mind and wins the fight and makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. In my mind I want to be God’s willing servant but instead I find myself still enslaved to sin. So you see how it is: my new life tells me to do right, but the old nature that is still inside me loves to sin. Oh, what a terrible predicament I’m in! Who will free me from my slavery to this deadly lower nature? Thank God! It has been done by Jesus Christ our Lord. He has set me free. (Romans 7:15-25, TLB)
After I wrote out that verse, I explained to Jeff that Paul was talking about bondage, about control of the power of sin. I wrote: “Jeff, Jesus set us free! His promise is right there in Romans 8:2. ‘For the power of his life-giving Spirit–and this power is mine through Christ Jesus–has freed me from the vicious circle of sin and death.’ Jeff, the scripture teaches us that when Jesus died on the cross, our old sinful ways died with him. Jeff, don’t dwell on the things in your past, your old sins. Instead, rejoice in being free now from that vicious circle of sin and death. Free! That’s God’s promise.”
I closed my letter by remin
ding Jeff that we no longer had to be slaves of sin. “Read Romans 6:6 and try to remember it. Read it every day, Jeff. It says, ‘Your old evil desires were nailed to the cross with him; that part of you that loves to sin was crushed and fatally wounded, so that your sin-loving body is no longer under sin’s control, no longer needs to be a slave to sin.’ Jeff, keep your mind on salvation.
“You kept that razor blade to do what Satan had in mind. You let down your guard. Think only of God and how he sent his only son to save us. Keep your guard up. Set your mind every day on the spirit of God. Satan lives to put us into bondage. But God lives to free us. Just remember that.”
I didn’t hear from Jeff for awhile, but that didn’t mean I didn’t hear about him.
In May 1992, Jeff went to Ohio to stand trial for the 1978 murder of Steven Hicks, his first victim. In Ohio, Jeff plead guilty. The Ohio judge again sentenced him to life, which brought his total consecutive life sentences to sixteen.
In August, Jeff began taking Prozac. His mood had brightened and he seemed more animated. He was no longer entirely segregated from other prisoners and he talked about getting a job. Jeff complained that he had too much time on his hands and wanted a job as a custodial worker.
He began work as a part-time janitor in his unit.
We heard that an anonymous benefactor had donated money to Jeff’s prison account and, with it, had bought a dozen or so books. The books were about creationism and evolution. To me, it sounded like Jeff was trying to figure out the meaning of life.
At the end of August, Jeff wrote to me, addressing me as “Brother Calvin.” He mentioned how happy he was to receive my letter, and that he was glad to hear I was still reading the Bible. He went on to say, “I feel that the most important thing in life is to accept the Lord Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. I’m glad you did! Because you accepted him as your Lord and Savior, He will give you a future in heaven better than anything you can imagine!”
Serial Killer's Soul Page 14
