Tell Me No Spies

by Diane Henders

  Tom’s face lit up, and he gave me a full-on grin. “Great, I’ll pick you up at six-thirty?”

  Still time to back out. Remember some pressing engagement. Do it, dammit. Say no. Say it now.

  “Okay. See you then.”

  Shit. I’m an idiot.

  At twenty after six, I locked up the house and sank into the chair on my front porch with a sigh. Several times during the day I’d stood with my hand poised over the phone, ready to call Tom and cancel. And each time, I’d turned and walked away.

  I knew I should have called it off. Never mind that, I knew I shouldn’t have accepted in the first place. What the hell was I thinking?

  As Tom’s truck drove up the lane, I hurried down the steps and met him on the gravelled turnaround I’d deliberately built outside the range of the surveillance cameras that blanketed my house.

  The weathered lines around his eyes crinkled with his smile when I hopped up into the big 4x4. “I’m really glad you could come,” he said. “I thought we could go over to Blue Eddy’s, if that’s okay with you. They have a live band tonight.”

  “Oh… yeah… that sounds great,” I responded brightly, trying to silence the voice in my head that kept repeating, “Bad idea! Bad, bad idea!”

  His smile lost a few watts. “We could go somewhere else if you’d rather.”

  “No, I love Eddy’s,” I assured him. “The Saturday bands are always good, and the food’s far better than the Silverside Hotel.”

  Which was true. Those were the only two licensed establishments in the tiny town, and Eddy’s was practically my second home. That was the problem. We’d be seen together.

  Duh. Kinda like a date.

  I’m definitely an idiot.

  My heart was beating a little faster than necessary when we walked into Blue Eddy’s. The band wasn’t due to start until eight, so my usual table in the corner was still free. I made a beeline for it and slid into my favourite chair, my back to the wall while I surveyed the rest of the bar. Tom sat opposite me, one eyebrow arched quizzically.

  “Hi, Aydan!” The waitress gave me a smile, and her eyes darted between Tom and me. Shit, by morning the entire town would know we’d been out together. I suppressed a sigh. “Do you want a beer?” she asked.

  “Yeah, thanks, Darlene.”

  Her eyes lit up.

  Shit. She knew I never drank if I was driving, so now she had proof that we were together. On a date.

  Busted.

  “Is everything okay?” Tom was watching me with a faint crease between his brows.

  I summoned up a smile. “Of course.”

  “It sounded like you groaned.”

  I shook off my mood and forced a laugh. “No, that was my stomach growling,” I lied. “I’m looking forward to some food and that beer.”

  He relaxed and smiled back at me, and soon we were laughing and chatting with our usual easy camaraderie. I glanced up as Darlene arrived with our food, and froze.

  Tom turned in his seat to follow my sight line, and we watched John Kane stride into the bar. Head and shoulders taller than most of the patrons, he was easy to spot. As usual, he wore dark jeans and a black T-shirt that stretched across his broad shoulders and hugged his muscular arms. He made his way through the crowd, seemingly oblivious to the female heads turning to check out his killer body, strong, square face, and short dark hair shading to grey at the temples.

  I swallowed hard when his gaze swung over to our table. His face smoothed into an unreadable mask, and he nodded politely in our direction before turning to take a stool at the bar, his back to the wall.

  I thanked Darlene and dragged my attention back to Tom. He was frowning again. “That’s John Kane, isn’t it? The guy who…” he hesitated almost imperceptibly. “…you work with?”

  “Yes.” I changed the subject and concentrated on Tom, my food, and my second beer. I couldn’t help watching Kane out of the corner of my eye, and I relaxed when he finished his meal at last and left soon afterward.

  A few beers and some excellent music later, Tom and I emerged laughing into the parking lot. As we strolled away from the lights of the bar, I caught Tom’s arm. “Wow, look at that big cheddar-cheese moon! Doesn’t it make you think of Halloween?”

  He didn’t reply right away, and I tore my attention away from the moon to glance up at him. Warning bells went off in my slightly tipsy brain when he smiled at me.

  “No, I wasn’t thinking of Halloween,” he said.

  “Oh.” I let go of his arm as if it was red-hot, but he caught my hands gently before I could step back.

  “I haven’t heard a Harley around your place for a while,” he said.

  “Um. No, not recently.”

  “Are you still involved with Arnie?”

  I ignored the sudden pang and kept my tone light. “Yes, but he’s been busy lately.”

  His callused hands tightened a fraction on mine. “I think you’re better off without him.”

  “You just got a bad first impression. He’s actually a really nice guy.”

  Tom grimaced. “Yeah, there a lot of nice guys nicknamed ‘Hellhound’.”

  “It’s just wordplay on his last name.” I made a none-too-determined effort to extricate my hands. Standing so close, his clean outdoorsy male scent was threatening to overwhelm my common sense. His grip on my hands was warm and strong.

  His voice dropped to an intimate murmur as he looked into my eyes. “My ‘friends with benefits’ offer still stands. If you’re interested.”

  ‘Interested’ didn’t exactly cover the magnitude of what I was feeling. I did my best to hide my internal struggle, and I was still trying to formulate a reply when he leaned in and kissed me.

  I was fighting a desperate battle against the urge to take him up on his offer right then and there in the middle of the parking lot when the sound of Kane’s voice made me jerk away with a gasp.

  “Aydan, I’m sorry to interrupt, but we need you at the office.”

  He didn’t sound sorry at all. He sounded… dangerous.

  “Oh.” My gaze ping-ponged between Tom and Kane. They were both expressionless, but I sensed the tension in them as they locked eyes.

  “It’s eleven-thirty on a Saturday night,” Tom said evenly. “I’m sure it can wait.”

  “It can’t.” Kane’s deep voice was hard. “Aydan, let’s go.”

  I turned to Tom. “I’m sorry, I have to go. Thanks a lot for tonight. I had fun.”

  I was turning to leave when he caught my arm lightly. “Aydan, you don’t have to go with him if you don’t want to.”

  Kane eyed Tom’s hand on my arm. The small hairs lifted on the back of my neck, and I pulled away quickly.

  “I do have to go, actually.” I blurted out the first semi-plausible explanation that came to mind. “We’re right in the middle of an audit and we have a deadline. We’ve been waiting on some information, and I told John to call me as soon as he had it.”

  “Oh.” Tom’s eyes narrowed and his hands clenched into fists as he assessed Kane looming beside me. After a couple of long seconds, he squared his shoulders and gave us a curt nod. “Okay. If you say so. Good night, Aydan.” He hesitated. “Call me if you need a ride home. No matter what time it is.”

  “Thanks.” The word came out on a whoosh of breath I hadn’t realized I was holding when he turned toward his truck.

  I trotted after Kane as he stalked to his black Expedition. We got in, and he sat staring through the windshield for a moment. When he spoke, his normally even voice had a distinct edge. “What the hell was that?”

  My temper flared, and I wrestled my voice under control before responding. “A mistake. Obviously.”

  “I thought you told Rossburn you weren’t interested in him.”

  “I did.”

  “So what the hell was that?”

  “A mistake. I made a mistake, okay? He’s my neighbour, he’s been doing a lot of work on my farm this summer, I was trying to be friendly and he got the
wrong idea.”

  “You didn’t seem in a hurry to tell him that.”

  I clamped my teeth together on my irritation and concentrated on releasing the fist that I’d clenched unconsciously. “I… He took me by surprise. I would’ve dealt with it.”

  “You need to deal with it tomorrow. Tell him you’re still scr…” he bit back his first choice of words and continued, “…seeing Hellhound.”

  I blew out a breath between my teeth. “I did. He knows Arnie hasn’t been around in the last couple of months.”

  In my peripheral vision, I saw Kane turn to look at me, and I glared straight ahead out the windshield.

  After a short silence, he spoke again. “I thought you two were hot and heavy.”

  “And I thought it was none of your business,” I gritted. “And speaking of ‘none of your business’, what the hell were you doing lurking in the parking lot in the middle of the night anyway? Looking for some cheap thrills?”

  “I was doing my job,” he ground out. “I’m an agent, not a goddamn voyeur. If you’re going to make out in public, you can’t blame me for having to watch. And it’s lucky I was here. What would you have done when he started getting really friendly and found your gun?”

  I was biting my tongue to hold back angry words when he shot a scowl at my snug T-shirt and jeans. “You are wearing your gun, aren’t you? Dammit, Aydan, tell me you’re wearing your gun! Tell me your judgement isn’t that clouded…”

  “Jesus Christ! Yes! I’m wearing my gun! It’s in my ankle holster. And he wasn’t going to get any friendlier because I’m not goddamn stupid enough to take a chance like that! And I told you, I made a fucking mistake, which happens occasionally to mere mortals like me…”

  I paused only long enough to suck in a furious breath. “…unlike you, who would never make an error in judgement, like, oh, I don’t know, sneaking into my house in the middle of the night and fucking my brains out after we agreed we couldn’t get involved…"

  Kane tensed in his seat, staring out the windshield, and I realized I’d gone too far. I was about to offer an apology when he jerked around to face me, and I flinched when his hands flew toward me.

  One of his fists knotted in my hair as he yanked me close and kissed me hard. My half-raised hands were trapped between us, and I shoved against his powerful chest and jerked away far enough to yelp, “What-the-”

  “Don’t fight me,” he growled, and pulled me into another demanding kiss.

  I made a half-hearted attempt to push him away, but his hands and lips felt too good. The tiny part of my mind that retained some logical thought advised me this was a Very Bad Idea, but I cheerfully ignored it.

  Kissing him back hungrily, I let hot need overwhelm me while I groped his hard muscles with shaking hands. God, after two months of deprivation, I was ready to combust just from the sizzling memories. I clutched at him as he pulled my T-shirt free of my jeans, his hands burning against the skin of my back. His teeth closed lightly on my earlobe, and I gasped open-mouthed against him, drowning in lust.

  Through half-closed eyes, I caught a flash of movement out in the parking lot and moments later Tom’s truck roared away.

  The heat of anger displaced my desire as I stiffened in Kane’s arms.

  “You can stop now,” I snapped. “He’s gone.”

  Chapter 3

  Kane released me and drew back, his grey eyes black in the semi-darkness. We stared at each other for a few moments, and I broke the silence first.

  “You can be a real asshole, can’t you?”

  “Aydan…”

  The anger drained out of me at the look on his face, and I blew out a long sigh that was half-groan. “Never mind.” I slumped forward and pounded my forehead gently against the dashboard. “Christ, what a clusterfuck. I’m such an idiot. I’m sorry.”

  “You’re not an idiot.” His voice was soft. “I know how hard it is to do without…” He trailed off. “Everybody slips up sometimes. As you pointed out,” he added ruefully. “I’m sorry, too. The last couple of months have been… tough. I overreacted.”

  “Thanks.” I met his eyes tentatively. “Friends again?”

  “Always. You know that.” He hesitated. “Speaking of friends… I don’t mean to pry and you can tell me to go to hell if you want, but… what happened between you and Hellhound?”

  I massaged my aching temples. “Nothing. I just haven’t seen him since August, and I don’t want to push it. We were… pretty vulnerable with each other when we thought you’d died, and you know how he feels about getting attached.”

  “The same as you,” he said quietly.

  I glanced away from his steady eyes. “Uh, yeah.” I squirmed a little in the seat.

  Since August, I’d been pretending he’d never uttered the L-word. I really didn’t want to have that conversation again, especially with my lips still burning from his kisses. Along with the other parts of my body that were still smouldering.

  I ignored the subtext and stuck with the stated topic. “I hope he… I hope it works out. He was… he’s a good friend.”

  “Arnie doesn’t abandon his friends,” Kane assured me. “He’s just been busy lately. I called him a couple of times, but I haven’t seen him, either.”

  “Oh.” My heart lightened, and I changed the subject to conceal my relief. “Shouldn’t we be heading for the office? Were you just blowing smoke, or is there really something urgent?”

  “Yes, we do need to go to the office.” He started the Expedition, and I eased my stress out in a long secret sigh.

  Relief morphed rapidly into worry as we pulled out of the parking lot. “What’s wrong? How bad is it?” I demanded.

  He shot me a quick glance. “Don’t worry, I don’t think it’s life-threatening. If I hadn’t already known you were in town tonight, I likely would have left it until tomorrow morning.”

  My shoulders attempted to climb up around my ears. “You don’t think it’s life-threatening? I told you, if it’s urgent, call me. No matter what time it is. You know how I’d feel if something bad happened to somebody because I wasn’t there to decrypt a message.”

  Kane sighed. “Aydan, you can’t work 24/7. There will always be something else that has to be decrypted. You haven’t had a full weekend in two months.”

  “Yeah, but…”

  He pulled into the parking lot across from Sirius Dynamics and fixed me with a severe look. “But, nothing. I’m your handler. When I say you need a rest, you need a rest. Stemp will have my head on a platter if you burn out.”

  “That’s pretty rich coming from a guy who hardly eats or sleeps while he’s on a mission.”

  I thought I detected a tinge of bitterness in his voice when he replied, “That’s different. I’m supposed to be an agent.” He gave his head a quick shake as if to rid himself of a thought, and continued, “You’re not. You’re a civilian. Aren’t you?”

  “Yes! Don’t start that again. I’m a civilian. I’m not an undercover agent. I’m just saying…”

  “Come on,” he interrupted. “We’re not getting anywhere with this conversation. We need to get this done so you can go home and get some sleep.”

  I grimaced and hopped out of the truck to follow him into Sirius.

  We collected our security fobs from the guard behind the bulletproof window, and Kane made for the heavy steel door that led to the secured area. As he stooped for the retinal scan, I came to stand beside him.

  “I’ll just come down with you,” I told him. “We won’t be long, will we?”

  The door released with a muffled click, and he straightened and gazed down at me. “When did you get over being claustrophobic?”

  “I’m too tired to panic tonight.”

  He studied me for a second. “No. Go on up to your office. If you’re that tired, I don’t want to take a chance.”

  I shrugged and trailed off down the hallway as he stepped into the cramped time-delay enclosure that always gave me the willies. Not for the first
time, I thanked my lucky stars I had Kane for my handler. I’d never take him for granted again.

  Up in my second-floor office, I collapsed yawning onto the small sofa. I was hunched over rubbing my temples when Kane’s voice startled me. “Are you okay?”

  “Fine. Just a headache.”

  He surveyed me, his brow furrowed. “How long has it been since you didn’t have a headache?”

  “I don’t know. Whatever.” I held out my hand for the tiny box that contained the world’s most secret and valuable technology. “Let’s just do this.”

  Kane frowned down at me. “Do you want some ibuprofen?”

  “No, I’ve tried that. Nothing touches it.” I wiggled my outstretched fingers. “Give.”

  He reluctantly handed me the network key. “Wait,” he rapped out as I leaned back on the couch and closed my eyes.

  “What?”

  “I’ll come into the network with you, since Webb’s not here to monitor. Just in case you have problems in the sim.” He sat in the chair across from me. “Okay, let’s go.”

  I closed my eyes and concentrated on entering the white void of virtual reality. As I stepped into it, Kane’s avatar popped into existence beside me, and we strode down virtual hallways to the file repository.

  Inside, I scowled at the stack of files. Damn, they were piling up again.

  “Do you know which one it is?” I asked.

  Kane grimaced. “No. You’re the only one in the world who can decrypt any of these. I don’t know one from the other. But when I got the call, the analyst said you should look for a timestamp of nine twenty-three p.m.”

  “Okay, thanks.” I flipped through the files, rubbing my head with my free hand as I searched.

  “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “Yeah, fine,” I mumbled, still sifting through the stack. “But I’d be so much happier if I could just go back to being an ordinary bookkeeper instead of a military secret.”

  “Believe me, I wish you could, too,” Kane said.

  Something in his voice made me pause in my search. I shot a glance his way, but his face was composed as always. “I guess you must be going a little stir-crazy just sitting around here all the time,” I ventured.