This Time

by Amy Reece

  “No, I don’t.” She already did. The music was too loud, there were far too many people, and it smelled like sour beer. Ashley melted away with a wave; Nina was on her own. “Neal never lets me come. But he’s out of town this weekend, so what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

  “Unless I tell him.” Seamus took the beer from her. “You’re drinking now?”

  “Why not? You and Neal do. Why shouldn’t I have fun like you guys? I’m sick of staying home every goddamned weekend while you two are out painting the town, getting drunk, and sleeping with any girl who will have you. Well, tonight I’m going to get drunk and get laid. It’s my turn.” She had no intention of doing either of those things; she hated the taste of beer and she planned to make love with Seamus, not get laid. There had to be a difference. Surely there did.

  “Oh, it is, huh? And you think I’m gonna stand by and let my best friend’s little sister go wild at a party?”

  She stepped forward and poked him hard in the chest, fury infusing her at his over-protective reaction. He was supposed to take one look at her and realize he’d always wanted her. What was happening to all her plans? “We’re twins, asshole! I’m not his little sister! And I’m sick to death of missing out on everything because I’m too nerdy and ugly for anyone to want to fuck!” She ended on a sob as her visions of how the evening was supposed to go evaporated. God, what a fool she was!

  He grabbed her hand and pulled her close. “Okay, okay. Shh. You’re causing a big scene, sweetheart. Come on.” He led her to the family room, where several couples were dancing. “Let’s dance. You can tell me what’s going on and why you decided to suddenly dress like a hooker.”

  She pulled her hand away and punched him as hard as she could in the stomach. “I hate you, Seamus DeLuca!” She turned to leave. This had been an epically bad idea.

  “Ow! God, girl! That hurt!”

  “Yeah, well, you and Neal taught me how to hit, so it’s your fault.” She spit the words over her shoulder.

  He grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You don’t look like a hooker. You just…I’ve never seen you like this.” He reached to button her blouse.

  She swatted his hand away. “I like the way I look.” She hated it. “And I’m going to find someone who appreciates it more than you. Goodbye, Seamus. Have a lovely time tonight with your slut du jour. I’m sure you’ll rat me out to Neal, but there’s nothing he can do at the moment, so you can both suck it!”

  He laughed and grabbed her hand again. “Come on. I said I’m sorry. I’m not about to let you loose looking all sexy and illegal in that getup, but you can stay for a little while if you stick close to me. Deal? I won’t tell Neal.”

  She narrowed her eyes and frowned.

  “Come on. Let’s dance.” He pulled her into his arms as the music changed to something slow.

  She’d dreamed of this moment for almost seven years. She put her arms around his neck and laid her head against his chest. She wanted to bottle his smell. She could feel his hard muscles pressed against her breasts and it did funny things to her nether regions. Oh, goodness!

  “You have quite a mouth on you. I had no idea.”

  “I’ve been saving up for a rainy day.”

  “Apparently,” he said with a chuckle. “What’s this really about, Nina? This isn’t like you.”

  She shrugged, unsure of her reasons any longer. It was hard to remember when he was holding her so close. God, he felt and smelled so good. “Maybe I just want to see what I’m missing.”

  “I don’t think you’re missing anything. You’re smart and beautiful and sweet. You don’t need to hang out at a party like this.”

  He thought she was beautiful? Her heart sang as they danced. When the song was finished, he led her to the kitchen for a soda and some snacks. She wasn’t sure she could eat in the tight skirt, but she accepted a bowl of chips. She stayed at his side for the next hour or so as they made their way through the crowded house. It wasn’t like the party scenes from movies. These people were obviously veteran partiers and contained themselves to drinking, smoking, and talking loudly. No one was trashing the house or vomiting on the carpet. Seamus shook his head when she asked about what was going on upstairs. She’d seen people disappear, some couples, some singles, and figured the hard partying happened up there.

  “You don’t need to see upstairs, sweetheart. We’ll stick to the first floor tonight.”

  “Is that where the sex and drugs are?”

  Seamus choked on his beer. “Yeah. Something like that.”

  She leaned close and whispered, “Is that pot?” She pointed to a group on the sofa who were passing around a small, white, cigarette-type object.

  “Yes.”

  “I’ve never tried marijuana,” she mused.

  “And you’re not going to try it tonight. Not on my watch.” He steered her toward the door. “Okay. You’ve had your party experience. Time to get Cinderella home from the ball.”

  They drove in silence. She stared out the window as she wiped the ridiculous red lipstick off with a tissue. Tonight had been a disaster. Yeah, she’d gotten Seamus’s attention, but he still treated her like a sister and nothing more. It was humiliating.

  “You okay?”

  “I’m fine.” She didn’t turn to look at him as they pulled in front of her house. “Just drop me at the curb.”

  He cut the engine and opened his door. “No.”

  She sighed and got out. Would this God-forsaken, miserable mistake of a night never end? She trudged up the walk to her front door as he followed behind. She fished in her bag for her key, swallowing the tears that were fighting their way out. “Thank you. This was stupid. Sorry I ruined the party for you.”

  “You didn’t ruin anything, Nina. Are you going to be okay?”

  She nodded and squeezed her eyes shut as a tear leaked out, streaking through her makeup.

  Seamus wiped it away with his thumb. “I like you better without all this crap on your face.”

  Sure he did. That’s why all the girls he dated looked like they’d just stepped out of a Sephora makeover. She laughed shakily. “I just wanted to see what it was like to be one of your crowd for a night. I wanted a little excitement.”

  “Was it exciting?” He smiled crookedly, a look of doubt on his face.

  She shook her head. “It was embarrassing.” She looked down at her borrowed clothes. “I look ridiculous.”

  “You look hot. But you don’t need all this. Just be yourself, Nina.”

  “I’m sick of being myself! All I do is study and sit around reading books! I’ve never even been kissed! Guys don’t like me, Seamus.”

  “Guys are intimidated by you because they know you’re smarter than they are.” He wiped away another tear. “Never been kissed, huh? Well, we can’t have that.” He bent his head and laid his lips softly on hers.

  She stood, stunned, as his arms slid around her waist. He was kissing her! Seamus DeLuca was actually kissing her! It was over before she could make up her mind what to do.

  “There. Now you can’t say you’ve never been kissed.” His hands rested loosely on her hips.

  She stared up into his achingly handsome face and bit her lip. “Could you do it again? Please? I was so shocked I didn’t have a chance to enjoy it.”

  He raised his eyebrows as if surprised by her honesty. “Sure. No problem.” Then he bent and kissed her again.

  This time she was ready for him. She reached her arms around his neck to play with the dark brown curls at his nape. God, his hair was so soft! She didn’t know what exactly to do with her mouth, but she’d read a lot of kisses and tried softening her lips under his, moving them slightly to match what he did. It seemed to work, because he made a soft groaning sound and she felt his tongue lick her bottom lip, as if seeking entrance to her mouth. She knew what French kissing was and was eager to try. She opened her lips a bit and was thrilled when his tongue swept inside. Then she st
opped thinking and analyzing and simply felt. Oh, God, it was good. He backed her against the screen door and let his hands wander to curve around her bottom, pulling her tight against him. Then his other hand slipped up to tease her breast, flicking lightly against the nipple poking through her blouse. Her heart pounded so hard she was sure he could feel it, but she had no intention of stopping him. He tasted so good and his touch set her on fire. She met his tongue stroke for stroke, her hands slipping down to his strong shoulders.

  He pulled away with a groan and rested his head against hers, panting. “I didn’t mean to get so carried away. Sorry, Nina.”

  “I don’t mind. I liked it. Do you want to come inside?” She would gladly continue this on her couch and see it to its logical conclusion.

  “No!” He stepped away quickly and stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets. “I’ve gotta go. You get inside and lock up. I’ll wait. Go on!” His voice was rough.

  She blinked at his sudden change of mood. “Oh. Okay. Well, thanks for…everything. Good night.” She turned and fumbled to unlock the door.

  “Good night, Nina.”

  She went in and locked up, then watched through the glass as he drove away.

  “Done! Momma, can we watch cartoons ’til the pizza comes?” Iris tapped her arm impatiently.

  She shook herself out of her ill-timed reverie and smiled. “Of course, Angel. Put all your papers in your homework folders first.” She supervised the organization of their backpacks and sent them to watch television. She glanced at Seamus as he prepared a salad at the counter. Why, on the day her brother died, was she remembering her teenage folly? Then he turned and smiled at her and she knew.

  Chapter Three

  Seamus

  He awoke to the smell of coffee and a painful crick in his neck from sleeping on Nina’s sofa. It would have been a better idea to go home, but once she’d put the girls to bed she’d needed to talk. It was past midnight when she’d finally felt like she could sleep, and she’d asked him to stay. He could hear her now in the kitchen, so he folded the afghan and spent a few minutes in the bathroom, splashing his face with cold water and finger-combing his hair into some semblance of order. He grimaced at the dark whiskers covering his jaw, but he didn’t have a razor, so it would have to do.

  Nina was at the stove, scrambling eggs. She turned as he reached to pour himself a cup of coffee. “Hey. Did you get any sleep?”

  He took in her pale face, red eyes, and drooping shoulders. “Some. Looks like you didn’t get much.”

  She smiled wanly as she shrugged. “Not really.” She turned back to the stove. “The girls will be up in a few minutes.”

  He watched as she stirred the eggs, her petite, slim figure wrapped in a black knit robe. God, this is the worst day of her life and yet she has to carry on, fixing breakfast and taking care of her kids. She shouldn’t have to do this by herself. He admired her strength while at the same time his heart ached for her. “Here. Let me do that.” He gently took the spatula from her hands and took over at the stove. “You go take care of the girls.”

  She smiled gratefully and padded out of the kitchen, her bare feet making no sound on the tile.

  Seamus stirred the eggs, then turned to pop some bread in the toaster. By the time Nina reappeared with the two sleepy girls in tow, he had the table set for four. The girls eyed him warily and he knew they had to be confused by his sudden appearance in their lives. “Good morning, girls. Your mom made you some eggs; I just finished them up. Here you go, Iris.” He set the plate in front of one of the girls and prayed he’d got it right. “And for you, Lily.” The girls looked at their mother, eyes wide, so he figured he’d remembered correctly. “I hope it’s okay that I slept on your couch last night. Your mom and I stayed up pretty late talking, so she said I could sleep there.” Although he knew they were too young to know much about it, he wanted to make it clear he hadn’t taken advantage of Nina.

  “Momma’s sad about Uncle Neal.” Lily spoke through a mouthful of eggs. “Are you sad too?”

  He set his mug on the table and nodded. “Yeah. He was my best friend all through middle and high school.” When Neal had moved back to Albuquerque after college and started his own business, Seamus had welcomed the chance to reconnect. They met up every couple weeks for a beer and had introduced their girlfriends to each other. Sloane hadn’t clicked with Kira, though, so they’d never repeated it.

  He offered to clean up while Nina got the girls ready for school. He had no idea how one woman managed to do all that was involved with taking care of two small girls, keeping her house fairly clean, and working full time. He hoped she had some sort of help occasionally. He also hoped her ex-husband was generous with the alimony and child support. The guy had written some book that turned out to be a best seller or something, so he could afford it.

  Finn had arranged for Nina’s Subaru to be brought home from her office, so they buckled the girls into their car seats and dropped them off at school before heading to Seamus’s apartment so he could grab a shower, shave, and change clothes before they set to work seeing to all the funeral arrangements. They were scheduled to meet Kira at the funeral home in a little over an hour. He left Nina sitting on the couch with the TV remote while he headed to his bedroom to clean up.

  Once back in the SUV, she cleared her throat. “Seamus, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all your help.” She stared out the passenger side window as she spoke, so he wasn’t able to see her expression. “But I know you probably have a million other things you’d rather do on your day off.”

  “Yeah, I’d rather do anything except help arrange my best friend’s funeral, but I’m sure it’s not at the top of your list, either.”

  “No, it’s not.” She whispered the words then turned to him suddenly. “What about your girlfriend? Sloane, isn’t it?”

  “What about her?” Guilt made him wince as he spoke. He hadn’t thought much about Sloane since Finn’s phone call the day before. “She’s out of town on business right now.”

  Nina stared at him for a long moment before turning back to the window. “Oh.”

  He glanced at her as he drove, noting the graceful curve of her slender neck. She’d pulled her hair back into a low ponytail, and he could see where her neck met her shoulder, the skin creamy and soft. He felt the pull of desire low in his gut and quickly turned his gaze toward the road. Seriously? On a day like today? Don’t be a dick! Plus, remember you have a girlfriend.

  Her cell phone dinged with a text message. “Nick’s flight gets in at five.”

  “I can pick him up.”

  She smiled at him, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Thanks. I’ll tell him to look for you.”

  She’d finally been able to talk to her parents late the night before and Seamus had held her for a long time after she’d hung up. They were making arrangements to catch a flight home from their next port of call, Barbados, the following day. He knew once she had her family with her he would need to clear out, but he was determined to stick close until she had them here. He pulled into the parking lot of the funeral home.

  She sighed heavily but opened her door.

  Kira was waiting for them. She wore jeans and an oversized sweatshirt, but Seamus noted she’d still made up her face with lots of eyeliner and lipstick. She was one of those high maintenance types, much like Sloane. Nina had barely taken time to change out of her pajamas and it didn’t look like she wore any makeup, yet he thought her natural beauty and grace much more suited to the occasion. Kira and Nina shared a brief hug, then held hands as they were shown to the reception room where they would have to choose a coffin for Neal and make other decisions regarding his funeral service. Seamus had never been closely involved in a death before and hated every second they spent in the funeral home. He’d attended funerals, of course, but he’d never seen all the decisions that went into them beforehand.

  Once they’d chosen the casket—a simple, dark cherry-finish with smooth lines—the direc
tor sat them down around a small table. “I spoke with the coroner’s office this morning about when your brother’s body will be released, but they weren’t able to give me an exact day.”

  “What does that mean?” Seamus asked the question as Kira and Nina frowned at each other.

  The funeral director smiled sympathetically. “In cases like this, there has to be an investigation. It shouldn’t take more than a few days. I’ll call you as soon as I hear from them and we can make arrangements for a specific day and time for the funeral.”

  They decided on the type of service and filled out the paperwork, including the payment options, which Nina insisted the family would take care of. Kira argued softly, but briefly, and Seamus felt sure she was relieved. When there was nothing else to be done, they left and walked to the parking lot together. The bright, sunny day mocked the darkness each was feeling as they stood beside Nina’s SUV, shielding their eyes, and talked.

  “Nick will be in tonight,” Nina said. “Why don’t you come over?”

  Kira nodded. “Sure. Should I bring anything?”

  “No. I’ll take care of dinner.” She sighed. “I hate this. Have you talked to Gordy, yet?”

  “Briefly. He’s keeping the office closed for a few days until Neal’s office can be cleaned.” She finished on a sob and Nina pulled her into her arms, rubbing her back as she cried. At length they finally separated, and Kira bid them goodbye.

  Seamus and Nina sat in the SUV with the air conditioner on full blast for a few moments, collecting their thoughts. Finally, Seamus spoke. “Finn texted. He wants us to stop by the precinct for a few minutes.”

  Nina turned to him, smiling softly. “Okay.”

  He put the car in reverse and backed out. “Listen, I was thinking maybe I could take the girls for a while tonight, so you and your brother and Kira can talk freely about what happened. I can take them over to Mom and Dad’s to swim and have dinner.”