This Time

by Amy Reece

  How can I not think about that? She tried, but no name magically surfaced. She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t have any idea. I wish I did.”

  Chris asked a few more questions then stood, indicating their session was at an end. Nina breathed a sigh of relief and reached for her mug.

  “I’ll get that, Nina. I know you want to get out of here.”

  Nina made her escape and found the ladies’ room, hoping she wouldn’t throw up. She ran cool water over her wrists and splashed her face, which seemed to suffice to calm her down. By the time she made her way to the bleak waiting area, Seamus was there.

  He stood as she appeared around the corner. “Let’s get out of here.” He held out his hand.

  She grabbed it, needing the connection to sanity. “Please.” She glanced up at his face as they walked to the parking lot, noting how grim he looked. “That bad, huh?”

  “It fucking sucked. I’ve never wanted to punch someone so bad in my life.” He squeezed her hand. “How was yours?”

  “Well, I didn’t want to punch Chris, but it was a toss-up as to whether I would cry or throw up.” She tried to laugh, but it was a strangled, weak sound.

  They reached her SUV and she fished blindly in her purse with her free hand for her keys. As she clicked the button to unlock it, Seamus tugged her gently around and backed her against the vehicle.

  “Hey.” He dropped the hand he still held and brushed her hair back from her face. “Which did you go with?”

  She looked up at him—he was so much taller than her—and smiled crookedly. “Neither, thank God. I splashed some water on my face in the bathroom. I felt like such a rat, Seamus. She asked me to talk about everyone and how well they got along with Neal.”

  He wiped a stray droplet of water from her cheek as he nodded. “Yeah, same here. She asked about me, I assume?”

  Nina nodded. “Did your guy ask about me?”

  He grinned. “Yep. It’s a hell of a job they have, huh?”

  “Ugh. I’ll happily stick with teaching history. Speaking of which, I need to get to work.” She turned to the car, grateful when he stepped away. It’s too hard to be so close if I have to keep my hands to myself. She swallowed a giggle—vastly inappropriate to the time and occasion—and opened her door. “I’ll drop you back at my house so you can pick up your car.”

  “Listen, since I’m coming over later anyway, why don’t I just drop you at work? If you’ll consider lending me a house key, I can run by the grocery store and get started on dinner before I come pick you and the girls up.”

  How am I supposed to forget about kissing him when he insists on being so sweet and thoughtful? Would he have pushed me away last night if Sloane wasn’t in the picture? The thought of his girlfriend was sobering, however, serving to remind her exactly how far out of his league she was. “Sure. You can have my key for now and I’ll grab you a spare when we get home later.”

  “Great.” He smiled at her from across the car. “Since you don’t have to take me all the way home right now, you have time to stop somewhere for lunch.”

  “Oh, I don’t—”

  “Come on, Nina. You have to eat. It might as well be with me.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Seamus

  “So, we’re still on for Saturday night, right?” Jon tossed him a dry sponge as he asked. He and Seamus were assigned to wash the smaller engine and were gathering the supplies.

  Seamus had a moment of panic as he tried to remember what Jon could be referring to. “Uh, sure.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Sorry. I have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. What did I agree to?”

  “It’s okay, man. I understand. Saturday is the ball, remember?”

  Oh, shit. The Annual Fireman’s—now called Firefighter’s—Ball. He and Jon had asked for the night off months ago and made plans to double date. They’d already purchased their tickets and reserved tuxedos. “Yeah. Listen, Jon, I don’t—”

  “Don’t say you’re bailing on me! Come on, man! I haven’t been able to get Lisa to leave the baby for more than an hour and I’m desperate. I’ll beg if I need to! Her parents are watching Louisa, and Lisa promised she would go. She bought a new dress, Seamus!”

  He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “Yeah, yeah, I know. But Sloane’s still out of town, so…”

  “Don’t you have two sisters? Drag one of them along. I need this night out, dude, and Lisa will back out if she knows you’re not going.”

  “Okay, fine. I’ll figure something out.” He stuck his bucket under the utility faucet and watched as the soap bubbles began to rise. “You don’t think it’s gonna get confusing to have a daughter named Louisa and a wife named Lisa? Did you really think that one through?”

  Jon chuckled and grabbed the chrome polish. “It was Lisa’s grandmother’s name. I couldn’t say no. You just wait, Seamus, ’til your wife pops out a kid. You’ll see what it’s like.”

  “Well, since I don’t have a wife, I doubt it, at least for a long, long time.”

  “What about you and Sloane? I thought you two were solid? Why don’t you marry her?”

  He cringed inwardly as he realized how little he’d thought of his girlfriend over the past few weeks. He and Nina hadn’t repeated the kiss, although they’d been together every night he wasn’t working. It somehow felt natural to head over to her house or to use the key she’d insisted he keep to let himself in and start dinner before she got home with the girls. He’d never realized before how much he liked preparing a meal for people he cared about—and he knew he cared about the three of them much more than he had any right to. Marry Sloane? The idea held little attraction any more, if it ever had. He’d enjoyed Sloane, enjoyed spending time with her, and definitely enjoyed sleeping with her, but he’d never planned to marry her. Marriage hadn’t even been on his radar—still wasn’t. But Nina’s beautiful face came to mind, all the same. Damn it. Not good. He laughed off Jon’s question and hoped it didn’t come across as pathetic as it sounded in his own ears.

  He decided to ask Cara since Izzy was nearly six months pregnant and probably didn’t care to find a maternity evening gown.

  “This Saturday?” He’d caught her on her lunch break. “Sorry, but no can-do. I’m going to be out of town with a friend for a spa weekend up at Ten Thousand Waves.”

  “Can’t you reschedule? I need a date and Sloane is out of town.”

  “I would, but it’s a prepaid package deal. Did you ask Nina?”

  “I can’t ask her.”

  “Why not? Is she not pretty enough for you to show off to all your fireman friends?” Her voice dripped ice.

  “Shut up,” he sighed. “That’s not it at all. Nina’s beautiful and I’d be happy to show her off to anybody, but she’s not my girlfriend. It wouldn’t be appropriate.”

  “That’s total bullshit. You guys are friends and there’s nothing wrong with taking a friend to a fancy-schmancy ball if you want to. What, are you afraid Sloane will be jealous if she finds out?” She was clearly taunting him.

  He knew better than to rise to the bait, but Cara had always been able to goad him. “No. It’s none of Sloane’s business. Nina and I are just friends.”

  “Great. So, you’ll ask her?”

  Shit. Why do I always fall into her trap? “Yeah, okay. I’ll ask her.”

  “God, Seamus! You make it sound like a death sentence! I’m sure you’ll have a great time.”

  That’s what I’m afraid of. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t you have to get back to torturing teenagers?”

  She laughed and hung up.

  ***

  “They were asleep before their heads hit the pillow.” Nina chuckled and sat beside him on the sofa. “I need you to wear them out more often.”

  He’d taken them all for a short hike in the foothills so they could enjoy the cool fall evening. It would be too cold before long and Seamus knew he would miss the chance to get out on the trails. They’
d stopped to pick up Subway sandwiches on the way and ate dinner at the top of the trail, sitting on a huge, flat boulder. The girls had proved to be great little hikers, scrambling over the rocks with a natural agility he couldn’t help but admire. “I think the fresh air was good for all of us.” He’d tried vainly not to notice how pretty she was with her pale cheeks still flushed from the exercise. “Here.” He handed her a glass of wine. “I thought white would be good for such a warm evening.” He’d never drank as much wine as he had since he started spending time with Nina. Sloane was more of a gin and tonic fan and he preferred beer, but he’d discovered it was extremely pleasant to share a glass or two of wine with Nina after the girls had been tucked in and before he went home to his apartment. They never seemed to run out of things to talk about. He was fascinated by her work at the university and loved the funny stories she told about her students and the other professors. She always wanted to hear every detail of his shift at the station, and the worried look on her face as he described the calls they responded to was endearing. He stared at her, realizing Cara was right; they were friends—really good friends—and he could certainly ask her to go to the damned ball with him. So why was he more nervous than he’d ever been in high school to ask a girl to a dance?

  “What?” She wiped her hand across her mouth. “Do I have mustard or something on my face?”

  “No. You’re fine. I, uh, I have a favor to ask.”

  She looked blank. “Sure, of course. Whatever you need, Seamus.”

  He set his wine glass on the end table and turned toward her. “You can say no. I’ll totally understand.”

  She frowned. “Sounds ominous.”

  “Yeah, a bit. So, this Saturday night is the annual Firefighter’s Ball. And I promised my friend, Jon, we’d double. His wife just had a baby and it’ll be the first time he’s been able to pry her away from the kid since it was born.”

  “And with Sloane out of town, you need a date, huh?”

  “Yeah. I asked Cara, because I thought it might be, you know, awkward with us, since, well, you know, but she has a spa day or something and I—”

  She laughed softly and held out her hand to stop him. “I’ll go. It’s fine. We’re friends, right? We have no reason to feel awkward around each other.”

  He wondered if she believed that any more than he did, but thought it unwise to disagree, especially when he needed a date. “Right. Thanks a million, Nina. It’s, uh, a formal thing.”

  “I think I can manage,” she said with a smirk.

  “Oh, well, that’s, uh, that’s good. Great.” Shit. Why am I so nervous?

  “It sounds like fun. It’ll be like the prom I never had.” She reached for her wine.

  Wait. What? “You didn’t go to prom?” Where had he been? Why hadn’t he noticed? Oh, yeah. He’d pre-gamed it with Neal and a few other friends and had been plastered before they’d even picked up their dates in the limo. He’d never stopped to ask whether or not his friend’s twin sister would be there. He’d studiously avoided her ever since their kiss on her front porch. “Why not?”

  She took a rather large gulp of wine. “For the usual reason, Seamus. No one asked me.” She sounded distinctly irritated.

  Well, crap. “I’m sorry. Nina.” He had no idea why none of the guys at their school had asked her. She’d been a cute little thing back in high school, but she’d never dated. She’d admitted he’d been her first kiss, but he’d never stopped to think about whether she had a date to prom. He’d been too busy planning how he was going to seduce his own prom date and talk her into going upstairs with him to the room he’d rented in the hotel where the dance was held. It turned out he didn’t have to do much talking; she’d been nearly as drunk as him and more than willing to end the night in a sweaty jumble on the king-size bed. I was quite the prize back in high school.

  “Why on earth should you be sorry? It wasn’t your fault.”

  No, it wasn’t, but if he’d bothered to spare her a thought, he could have gotten one of his friends to ask her. No, not one of his friends; they were all complete horn dogs who were only interested in girls they could screw. “Maybe not, but I still feel bad about it.”

  “There’s no need. I got over it.”

  He had a nasty feeling girls never quite got over something like that, but he kept his mouth shut. “So, I’ll pick you up at seven? Do you need me to ask Izzy if she can watch the girls that night?”

  She shook her head. “I’ll see if my parents can watch them. They haven’t spent the night over there in a while. It’ll probably be good for them to get their minds off Neal for a night.”

  “Oh. Good. That’s, uh, great.” He picked up his wine and sipped in the awkward silence that followed.

  She finally sighed and turned back to him. “Seamus, I hate to ask this, but what about Sloane?”

  He frowned, not wanting to have this conversation. “What about her?”

  “Don’t be dense. Where is she? When is she coming back? What will she think about you taking another woman to the Firefighter’s Ball? I assume you were originally planning to take her, right?”

  Why did women have to be so damned perceptive? He coughed, stalling for time. “Sloane’s in Chicago on a business trip. I don’t really know when she’s coming back. We had an argument and decided to take a break from each other. And I have to assume she wouldn’t be thrilled with me taking another woman who is not my sister to the dance. Anything else?”

  “God, don’t be such a crank.” She patted his knee. “I just need to know, okay? I don’t want to be caught by surprise if she shows up on my doorstep to fight me for trying to steal her boyfriend.” She laughed softly.

  He knew she meant it as a joke, that she was trying to keep it light, but it hit home with him. What am I doing asking another woman out? This is going to cross a line somehow. “I highly doubt she would ever show up on your doorstep. It’s not her style.”

  Nina reached for the wine bottle and topped each of their glasses, as if she thought they needed fortification for what she was about to say. “Look, Seamus, I know you and I are just friends, okay? I get that. I mean, I’ve seen Sloane’s picture and, wow. She’s stunning. I know I made a mistake when I kissed you and I won’t do it again. But, where are you with Sloane? It might not be any of my business, but I’ve been in the middle of someone else’s relationship before and I swore I’d never be the cause of someone cheating again.” She laughed again. “I know it’s hard to imagine me, of all people, as a femme fatale, but…”

  He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “No, it’s not.” He took a deep breath. “Is that what happened with David?”

  She nodded as she sipped her wine, a faraway look on her face. “He was married. They had a little boy, only four years old. He told me they were separated, but it wasn’t true. They were still living together. God, Seamus. I slept with a married man.”

  “Hey.” He took her hand again. “He lied. You didn’t know.”

  “But I should have. I should have checked, or asked, or something! I wanted it to be true, so I let myself believe what he was saying. I was such an idiot.” She sniffed and blinked away what looked like tears. “Once I found out, I let myself believe his marriage was empty and they were only staying together for their son. Idiot.”

  “Haven’t we all been idiots at one time or another? Neal said David basically did the same thing to you.”

  “Yes. It was very similar. I suspected he was having an affair; he didn’t deny it when I confronted him. I was surprised to learn his new girlfriend was pregnant, however. He’d told me he didn’t believe in bringing any more children into the world when there were already so many orphans. That’s why we adopted Lily and Iris. We hadn’t even had them for a full year when he knocked up his girlfriend.”

  His heart broke as he listened to the sordid story of betrayal. God, I’d love to meet up with David in a dark alley some night. “You weren’t the cause of him cheating, either with his first wife or with y
ou. The man is a cheater, period. You’re not. And except for our kiss a couple weeks ago, I’m not either. I won’t cheat on Sloane.” He knew what it meant but shoved the thoughts aside until he had time to process them more fully.

  She smiled weakly. “Good. It’s not terribly pleasant for the one being cheated on. I still feel horribly guilty about David’s first wife, Anna.” She sipped her wine. “And yet, for all that, David is a wonderful father, when he’s around. He’s always been extremely generous with the girls.”

  Seamus didn’t think that qualified the man as a ‘wonderful father’ but deemed it wise to keep his thoughts to himself. He also deemed it wise to bring the enlightening, yet depressing evening to a close. He had a lot to think about and needed some quiet time alone.

  It wasn’t to be, however. When he pulled into the driveway of his apartment, half of an old adobe house that had been split into a duplex arrangement, he noticed a car parked at the curb in front. Sloane’s car. Well, shit. He killed the engine and scrubbed his hands over his face. He wasn’t anywhere near ready to have the conversation they needed to have, but his time was up. I guess there’s no time like the present. Man-up and get it over with. He locked his car and let himself into the apartment.

  Sloane was curled up on the couch, a mug of tea in her hands. “Hi.” Her voice was soft and uncertain.

  “Hi.” He took a seat in the armchair next to the sofa.

  She smiled sadly as she noticed his choice of seat. “I guess we need to talk.”

  “I guess so.” He leaned forward and braced his arms on his knees. “When did you get back in town?”

  “A few hours ago. I came straight here. I was hoping you’d be home.”

  He ignored the implicit question. They needed to have this conversation regardless of where and with whom he’d been. “Sloane, I—”

  “I know.” She kicked off her shoes and crossed her legs under her. “I’ve known since I left. I just didn’t want to believe it. I still love you, Seamus.”