Abide with Me

by E. Lynn Harris

  40

  After a three-day absence, Nicole was ready to reclaim her role of Dena Jones. A local Grand Rapids doctor had given her a tentative clean bill of health. She returned to her hotel room to pick up her makeup bag after seeing Jared off in a taxi to the airport. Nicole had assured her husband that she had just suffered a little case of food poisoning and was fine. She was touched that he loved her so much that he flew to Grand Rapids to make sure. She felt like the luckiest woman alive.

  Nicole picked up a note from Yancey telling her that the director had called her for a meeting, so she would meet her at the theater. Nicole was thinking about her loving husband and enjoying the silence when the phone rang.

  “Hello,” Nicole said.

  “Nicole. I’m so glad I caught you.” It was her agent, Dennis.

  “I was just getting ready to leave. How are you doing?” Nicole asked.

  “I’m doing fine. It’s just that I have some bad news.”

  “Bad news? What kind of bad news?” Nicole asked.

  “This is the part of my job I hate. You know I love having you as a client, don’t you, Nicole?”

  “Sure. You’re not dropping me, are you?” Nicole asked as she sat on the bed.

  “Of course not! We’re going to make each other a lot of money. I think you’re talented, beautiful, and will have a long, long career.”

  “Then what’s the bad news? The Dottie producers haven’t gotten their money situation straight?”

  Dennis’s voice changed to an apologetic tone. “I just hate this and I don’t understand what has happened. I mean, in all my years of working with producers and directors, I can honestly say this just blows me away.”

  “Come on, Dennis. I’m a big girl. Tell me,” Nicole demanded.

  There was a brief silence, and then Dennis said, “You’re not coming back to Broadway with the show. They want to buy out your contract for the rest of the tour.”

  Nicole was stunned and silent. Was she hearing Dennis correctly? She got up from the bed and walked toward the window; she rustled the curtains gently as she gazed out at the lights of the small metropolis sparkling seductively below. The night looked clear and peaceful. Nicole’s mind traveled to other times of great disappointment in her life: the night in Hot Springs, Arkansas, when she was named a runner-up instead of the new Miss Arkansas, and again when she finally made it to the Miss America pageant in Atlantic City, where again her name followed the words “and the third runner-up is …” She thought of high school, where she wasn’t even allowed to audition for a principal role in a production of Brigadoon. Back then Nicole still had the future to look toward, but now the clock on achieving her dreams was ticking loud and fast.

  “Nicole? Are you still there? Are you all right?” Dennis asked frantically.

  “I’m here, and I’m okay. When did this happen?” Nicole asked.

  “The producers called me this afternoon. And I laid into them and told them we were going to take this to the union. They assured me they are willing to pay out the rest of your contract, and if you’re so inclined you can stay with the show. They just didn’t think it was fair to have you think you’ve got the role when it comes to Broadway. They even had the gall to suggest the standby role for you when the show comes back to New York. I told them ‘hell no,’ ” Dennis said.

  “Standby for who? Who are they replacing me with?” Nicole asked calmly.

  “What have you heard?”

  “Nothing, I’m not really in the gossip loop. I didn’t even believe the director rumors and look what happened. They’re probably going after a name. I mean, since they weren’t able to convince Jennifer Holiday to come back, it makes sense they would want a big name for Dena. Someone like Audra McDonald or even Toni Braxton. I read somewhere she was interested in doing Broadway,” Nicole said quietly.

  “So what should I tell them? Have them write us a check now or later?” Dennis asked.

  “I’m doing the show,” Nicole said firmly. “At least tonight. I’ll let you know about tomorrow,” Nicole added, her voice cold with anger.

  “Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure,” Nicole said as she looked at her watch. “I’ve got to go. It’s almost seven-thirty.”

  “You’re something else, Nicole, and I respect you more than any actress I know.”

  “Thank you. I’ll call you in the morning. I’ve got a show to do,” Nicole said as she hung up the phone.

  Nicole grabbed her leather makeup bag and caught a glimpse of her hurt and pained look in the mirror. She fought back an oncoming panic, though she wanted to open her mouth and just scream. Nicole didn’t scream, but she was unable to stop the tears that flowed silently and easily as she walked out of her hotel room.

  In the office of the general manager of the Devoss Theater, Yancey Harrington Braxton was getting some good news. And even though she reacted as if she were shocked and stunned, Yancey had expected nothing less.

  “Are you serious? This isn’t some kind of sick joke?” Yancey asked as she performed for the new director and two producers.

  “No, we’re not kidding. We want to offer you a contract to play Dena Jones once we hit Broadway,” Jim Keith, one of the producers, said.

  “Yancey, when I saw you perform the other night, I knew you were born for this role,” Chris, the new director, said. “I mean, I’ve seen a lot of Denas, but I’m certain you’re what Mr. Bennett had in mind when he conceived this show. You’re talented, young, and beautiful. You are Dena Jones and the critics in New York are going to love you like they did here.”

  Yancey brought both her hands to her cheeks and said, “Oh my. This is wonderful. I don’t know what to say.”

  “Just say you’ll do it. We know you’re close with Nicole, but we all know this is a business,” Chris said.

  “But what about Nicole? I mean we’re friends and she’ll be devastated,” Yancey said with a sincere look of concern on her face.

  “Nicole is a professional and there will be other shows. Besides, she’s probably tired of this role.”

  “You think so?” Yancey asked.

  “Of course.”

  “If you think Nicole will understand, then I’ll do it,” Yancey said. “When do you want me to start?”

  “Maybe as soon as tonight,” Chris answered. “Legally and, of course, worrying about the union, we’ve offered a buyout of Nicole’s contract, but we’ve agreed to let her play out the tour. But usually in situations like this the actor or actress will take the money and run.”

  “So what do I do?” Yancey asked.

  “About what?”

  “Tonight. Should I prepare to play Michelle or Dena?”

  “Just go to your dressing room and let’s play it by ear. Don’t say anything until we make an official announcement. If Nicole shows up, then put your Michelle face on. If we hear from her agent that she’s not going to make it easy for us, then we’ll take it from there.”

  “I can’t thank you enough,” Yancey said. “I promise I will not let you down. I will give you the performance of a lifetime every time I hit the stage.”

  “We know that, Yancey, and that’s why we’re making the change. We’ve contacted your agent and we’ll begin working on a contract that you’ll be satisfied with.”

  “I’m not worried about that. This is a role I’d do for free, but since I don’t have to … well, I just don’t know what to say.” Yancey got up from the chair and started hugging each of the producers and the new director and kissing them on the cheek. When she left the office, her only regret was that she didn’t have enough time to call and tell Ava, the woman she treated as a big sister, who was actually her mother, the great news.

  BOOK THREE

  Save Some Secrets for Yourself

  41

  Ava Rose Parker had lived her life large and hard, with few regrets and fewer attachments.

  An accomplished entertainer, she had performed her jazzy renditions of classic ballads in the b
est clubs, drunk the best wines, and eaten the best foods that all of Europe had to offer. She had dined with Moroccan royalty, partied with rich Frenchmen, and been pursued by the wealthiest members of Spanish society.

  Although Ava had been a celebrated cabaret performer for fifteen years, she had never forgotten her less than auspicious beginning in Jackson, Tennessee.

  Ava was a traffic-stopping beauty, with big, round, doe-brown eyes and long thick lashes, dimples that punctuated her glowing butterscotch cheeks, and thick black hair permed to tameness that tumbled just past her shoulders. When she strolled down the streets, the boys in Jackson catcalled her Miss Brick House; her male suitors across the Atlantic referred to her as statuesque.

  At age sixteen, she had been a contestant in the Miss Ebony Mid-South beauty pageant, a popular pageant for African-American young women from Tennessee, Arkansas, Mississippi, and Louisiana. Besides receiving wonderful prizes, the winner continued on to the Miss Black America pageant as a front-runner. Beginning with their first rehearsal for the pageant, Ava assumed Nicole Springer was her only real competition. During the two-week event, each of them had won swimsuit, talent, and evening gown competitions on their respective nights. Ava surmised that if she could get Nicole out of the way, she’d be certain to win the crown.

  To get Nicole disqualified, Ava started a vicious rumor that she was pregnant by one of the pageant producers from her home state. The rumor spread like grease on a hot skillet and, in the interest of fairness and avoiding embarrassment, the pageant’s board of directors had all of the contestants tested.

  Only Ava’s test came back positive.

  After Ava was forced from the pageant and sent back to Jackson, Nicole went on to become Miss Ebony Mid-South, but then shocked officials by giving the crown to the first runner-up. Nicole had been so disgusted by the test and rumors, she vowed to never again enter a pageant for African-Americans only. Three years later Nicole Springer was competing for the title of Miss America. In Jackson, Ava was trying to track down Bobby Earl Braxton, local football star, for child support for her two-year-old daughter, Yancey.

  Ava loved her pretty little baby, but motherhood was not on Ava’s agenda. When Yancey was five, Ava left her with her mother, Essie Dean, and headed to New York and Broadway. On her final callback for a role in Dreamgirls, Ava recognized the young lady auditioning right before her as Nicole Springer. When Nicole walked right by Ava without even a glance, Ava became furious. Nicole got the part and Ava returned to Jackson, but not for long.

  Five months later Ava headed to Europe, where she had heard that it was a lot easier to break into the business. Ever since Josephine Baker, Europeans had welcomed black women artists, and Ava saw a second chance for a stage career. So she left her baby again with her mother, who had loaned her the airfare to Paris, as well as money for a month’s hotel stay.

  Ava worked hard honing her singing and dancing skills while waiting tables. She was talented and ambitious, and knowing whom to sleep with was an asset as well. After Bobby, Ava knew instinctively who the little fish were, and she wanted to swim with the sharks. She controlled, contrived, and connived her way until her career took off, then soared. Virtually unknown in the States, Ava Rose became a household name throughout Europe and even had a hit song in Japan.

  Ava and her mother stayed in close contact through letters, postcards, pictures, and the rare transatlantic phone call on Yancey’s birthday. Each week, Ava sent a package to her mother and daughter. There were little inexpensive gifts at first, but later, when the money began to flow, she sent designer dresses and jewelry.

  Yancey received a constant stream of letters and pictures from Ava as well. Her vanity mirror was bordered with pictures of Ava decked out in evening gowns at clubs, or in sundresses and wide-brimmed hats on the Riviera. Yancey idolized her glamorous mother and wanted more than anything to be just like her. Yancey never forgot her own frequent trips abroad to visit her mother beginning when she was nine years old, but could not forget the sadness she felt when she returned to Jackson to her devoted grandmother. Her father was never around, so as a teenager she fantasized that he was related to Toni Braxton, full well knowing it wasn’t true.

  Ava made sure there was plenty of money for Yancey’s ballet, tap, and modern dance classes, and for her singing and elocution lessons too. Yancey sent her mother her report cards, her class pictures, and trophies from Little Miss pageants she won all around the mid-South. More than anything, Yancey took to heart Ava’s advice to not let anything or anyone get in the way of her dreams. And though they were an ocean apart, Yancey grew to be just like her mother, in more ways than one.

  Ava returned to the States at least once a year, spending a little time in Jackson, but weeks in New York City pursuing her Broadway dreams. She came close several times, but Ava’s last shot at Broadway occurred when she was assured a major role in a Bob Fosse musical, Big Deal. Ava was certain this would be the part she had worked all her life for, but it was not to be. One of the producers and a casting agent had promised her the role after catching her act in Paris and two New York auditions. But the day before rehearsal started, the casting agent and producer were replaced and so was their leading lady. Ava’s agents didn’t get the bad news to her in time, and when Ava was told at the stage door of the theater the part had gone to Dreamgirls alum Loretta Devine, Ava vowed to never return to New York. It was a horrible day for Ava, and to make matters worse, she literally bumped into Nicole Springer, another member of the Big Deal cast. Again Nicole didn’t even recognize Ava, and only smiled and said, “I’m sorry.” Ava felt lower than low and cried all the way back to her hotel. Ava couldn’t bear to tell her daughter that she wouldn’t be performing closer to home as she had often promised.

  When Ava returned to Europe, her yearly trips to the States stopped, and so did the visits from Yancey. Ava married a French millionaire; she divorced him some two years later, but was financially set for life thanks to a generous clause in their prenuptial agreement. Ava’s interest in her cabaret career began to wane the more time she spent shopping all over Europe. Every now and then, she thought of staging and producing a stunning show-’em-what-they’ve-been-missing New York cabaret debut. But something always stopped her from following through with that dream, and instead her focus shifted to Yancey’s dreams for Broadway.

  It was only when she received a call from Yancey informing her that Mama Essie was ill that Ava returned to the States. When Essie died two months later, Yancey prayed that she would finally have her mother to herself. And for about a year, she did. The mother and daughter, who were more like sisters, grew closer. Ava attended Yancey’s pageants and dance recitals. The two of them took trips to London and spent weeks attending shows on the West End. And during that time Yancey heard the stories of the evil Miss Pretty and how she had forced her mother to pursue her showbiz dreams on another continent, taking Ava away from her mother and the daughter she loved. All those years, all her life, all that time without her mother. All because of one person, Yancey thought. Someone had to pay.

  42

  It was Saturday; day three of the Tylers’ vigil. Raymond and his mother had checked into the Marriott on Michigan Avenue and took turns sitting with Raymond Sr. so that at least one of them was always at his bedside, talking to him, even though he couldn’t respond, touching him, praying that he would come out of his coma. Kirby would take the evening shift after football practice, bringing his books and playbook as he sat by his father’s bed. This would give Raymond and his mother time to sit down and eat a real meal and freshen up. Kirby was grateful for Northwestern’s open football date, which allowed him to spend more time with his father.

  One evening, Raymond and his mother sat quietly at a table in the hospital coffee shop, each lost in their own troubled thoughts.

  It was Mrs. Tyler who broke the strained silence.

  “I need to call your Aunt Mattie and see if she will go over to the house and send me your father’s i
nsurance papers and burial plot information,” she said quietly.

  “Why are you going to do that?” Raymond snapped. “I don’t want to hear no mess about some damn burial plots!”

  “What’s wrong, Raymond?”

  “What do you mean? You’re talking about burial plots, Pops is laying in the hospital unconscious, that’s what’s wrong!” Raymond lied.

  “Raymond Tyler, Jr., don’t you dare lie to me. I can see something’s bothering you in the way you look at your father. You don’t touch him like Kirby and I do. Tell me what’s going on.”

  “Mama, I feel like a dog saying this, but I’m so conflicted about Pops. I’m so mad at him and the way he’s treated me lately. I’m mad at him for the things he said about me and Trent, I’m mad the way he’s throwing Kirby’s accomplishments up in my face, like I’ve let him down and he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. Why can’t he accept my decisions about my life? I mean, I love Pops, you know I do. But if I’ve got to live my life according to his rules or lose his love, then I might learn how to live without his love. I’m a grown man and Pops has got to respect that.”

  “Your father does love and respect you. He just wants the best for you and Kirby,” his mother said.

  “He should want for us what we want for ourselves. And I know this might sound ugly, but I hope he doesn’t die on us and leave me with all this anger.”

  Raymond couldn’t look at his mother after his last statement. He fully expected her to call him selfish and everything but a child of God. But she didn’t. Instead she asked, “And what else, son? You might as well get it all off your chest. What about Trent? That’s what started this episode between you and your father.”