“What about Trent?”
“You really love him, don’t you?” she asked with a soft smile.
The question surprised Raymond. He and his mother had never discussed such intimate details of his relationship. It had always been limited to “How’s Trent? Tell him I said hello.”
Raymond paused a second, took a deep breath, and said, “Yes, Mom. I do. Very much. But …”
“But what? I know we’ve never spoken about your relationship, but I knew you two loved each other. I could tell that when we visited you guys in Seattle. And if you love him, then that’s all that really matters. Your love is the only thing you have control of.”
“What do you mean?”
“Son, you can’t control how someone else feels about you. Of course when you love someone, you hope that love is returned with equal measure.”
“So I’m supposed to love him even when he cheats on me. Endangers my career and my relationship with my pops?”
“Trent is human. People make mistakes. You aren’t perfect, and neither is your father, or me, for that matter.”
“But I feel so stupid. Having some stranger tell me about the person I love. I thought everything was fine between us. I mean, when I was with the firm, I was always pretty busy and sometimes under a lot of stress, and maybe I didn’t spend as much time with Trent as I should. But he should understand that and how much I love him. Now that he’s confessed to what I heard, well, I don’t know what to do.”
“You pray about it and do what your heart tells you,” Mrs. Tyler said.
“Listen, I know I sound so selfish. Here I am thinking about myself while Pops is fighting for his life. But somehow it all seems connected. Everything I thought was solid and secure in my life is suddenly washing away like dust in a rainstorm. I just think I’m mad at the world right now and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Oh, Raymond, you’re not mad at the whole world. You’re just disappointed with two men in your life. Both of whom are good men. Both of whom you love. And both of whom have hurt you deeply.”
Raymond looked at his mother with a perplexed expression on his face.
“Raymond, your father and I taught you to always be fair. You’ve always been kind and sensitive to others, always righting wrongs and defending those who need defense. But, son, you got to fight for yourself now. How are you going to be the head of the family if your father doesn’t make it through this? You got to let Trent know how you feel, how angry and hurt you are. And if your father makes it through this, you’ve got to let him know how you feel. You can’t keep it all bottled up inside.”
Marlee took her son’s hand and continued, “You know, Kirby was right. Your father wanted very badly to be appointed to the federal bench and even the Supreme Court. When we first met, he told me one day he’d reach his goal. But it didn’t happen. But when you got nominated, well, I don’t recall ever seeing him more proud. It was like his dream had come true. A Tyler man was on track for the highest court in the land.”
“Why didn’t I know Pops dreamed to be on the Supreme Court? I always thought when he was elected state senator, he’d achieved his dream.”
“Because your father always shared his dreams with one person. Me,” his mother said as tears sprang from her eyes. Raymond reached across the table and touched his mother’s hand softly.
“I’m sorry, Mama. This helps me understand Pops’s reaction better.”
“Baby, you’ve got to make it clear to your father that this is your life. Life is too short to spend it pleasing other people. Even if those other people are your parents. And if this judge thing is not your dream, then you got to tell him that also. He may not want to hear it, but he’ll respect you for telling him.”
Several minutes passed in silence. Raymond stood and walked around to his mother’s side of the table, then knelt next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his face to her bosom.
“Thank you, Mama. Thank you. I know you’re right. I just need some time to let it all settle. To finally figure out what my dreams are.” She stroked his head and patted his back like she had when he was a boy.
“Like I said, son, life is short. Tomorrow is not promised.”
43
Nicole arrived at La Guardia feeling defeated and alone, even though Jared met her. When Nicole saw Jared looking tired and worried himself, she smiled, although tears were streaming down her makeup-free face.
“Hey, baby,” he said as he kissed her passionately. “I haven’t been able to sleep since I talked to you last night.” He took his hand and wiped away her tears.
A few moments later Nicole’s tears stopped, and she said softly, “I’m sorry I had you worried, but I’ll be okay.”
Jared picked up Nicole’s luggage and retreated to the limo he had hired. During the ride home, Nicole gave him more details of the last forty-eight hours, and he responded by holding her tightly in the backseat while she ranted, cried, and ranted some more. “I couldn’t believe the way that jerk Chris acted when I showed up to do my final show. When he asked me if I was sure I wanted to go on, I told him to get out of my way, before I had my lawyer and the union representative on his ass. And then I went out there and gave the performance of my life.”
“That’s my baby,” Jared said, gently patting her hands.
Nicole told Jared how she had spent Friday debating whether or not to stay with the show until her contract expired or leave and return to New York. When her agent, Dennis, told her the producers had a settlement check ready to be messengered to his office whenever she gave the word, her mind was made up. Nicole told Jared she could hear her deceased father saying, “Don’t stay nowhere people don’t want you.”
By the time they got home, they were both so spent they decided to fall into bed and talk in the morning. Jared held Nicole tightly all night, even after she’d fallen into a fretful sleep. Nicole’s restless sleep continued throughout the weekend.
When Nicole awoke on Monday morning, it was a little after nine, and Jared had long been gone. He’d left a note on the pillow beside her that read: Nicole, I love you with all my heart. You are and will always be the star of my show. Call you later. Love, Jared.
Nicole felt like she’d been beaten with a stick. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen, her body exhausted. She turned on the television, but put on the mute button while watching Regis and Kathie Lee. Nicole wanted to enjoy the perfection of the silence.
A few minutes later Nicole got out of bed and pulled her terry-cloth robe on over the Arkansas Razorbacks nightshirt she’d worn to bed. She stumbled into the kitchen, where Jared had made coffee, and she poured herself a cup. The sunny brightness of the kitchen seemed to emphasize her gloomy mood and disheveled appearance, so she retreated to the bedroom. She sat on the bed and considered taking a shower and getting dressed, but could not think of a good reason to do either. She just didn’t have the energy, nor the inclination. She curled back under the covers and fell into a restless sleep.
Nicole woke up about an hour later and decided to watch The View. Nicole loved this show and hoped one of the hosts like Star Jones or Joy Behar would say something funny to make her smile. But today the four ladies were talking about the most recent kids-killing-kids incident. This time Nicole pulled the covers over her head and went into a deep sleep.
“Nicole! Wake up! Baby, wake up. I’ve been trying to call you all day.” Jared shook her gently until she began to stir. “It’s six o’clock. Have you been asleep all day?” he asked.
“I guess so,” Nicole said. “I turned the phone off.”
“Are you feeling all right, baby?” he asked with concern in his voice. “I was worried about you. Did you eat anything? Why don’t I run you a nice hot bath and give you a massage? I can ease those blues right out of your body. Then I’ll run out and get us some dinner.”
“I’m not hungry. I just want to go back to sleep,” Nicole said. She was thinking Jared didn’t have a clue as to how depre
ssed she felt. Did he think a bath and a massage could alleviate her troubles?
“What have you eaten today?”
“Nothing.”
“Then I’m going to get us something to eat,” Jared said as he pulled off his suit and changed quickly into some warm-ups. “What do you feel like eating?”
“I don’t care,” Nicole said. “Get whatever you want.”
“How about barbecue? Or would you like something light?”
Nicole looked at Jared angrily and said, “I told you I don’t care.”
And then she pulled the covers over her head and prayed for another deep, dreamless sleep.
Morning dawned, and Yancey woke up ready to enjoy the beginning of her life as a star. She let out the sound of soft laughter and clapped her hands when the sun broke through the early morning clouds and the room suddenly looked golden. Yancey was getting ready to pick up the phone and order room service when it rang.
“Hello.”
“Where have you been?” Ava asked.
“With Devin, who I got to figure out a way to get rid of now. How are you doing, sweetheart?”
“I’m doing good, but I’ve been going crazy. What did Miss Pretty say when she found out you got her part?”
“I don’t know,” Yancey said as she pulled back the covers.
“What do you mean? Didn’t you see her?”
“I saw her right after her last performance. And Miss Pretty turned it out! I mean even I was in awe. But since we didn’t know if she was going to stay with the show or leave immediately, I sorta stayed clear. I left her these sweet messages and said I was spending the night with Devin. But when I was certain she was gone and had left Grand Rapids, I came back to my room. I had to give up all that pussy to Devin, just so I could escape some fake teary good-bye with Miss Pretty. She left me this sappy note, and I’ll send her some flowers with an I miss you note and that will be that. I’m on my way to Broadway!” Yancey said as she pumped her fist in the air.
“How is the show going?”
“Oh, it’s fine. And last night I was fierce! The new director was all over me. I think I might have to give him a little taste.”
“Now, be careful serving up favors. Make sure it’s gonna earn you some brownie points,” Ava advised.
“Oh, don’t worry. If I give Chris some play, it will be for a good, good reason.”
“So do you know when you’re going to Broadway? And you better get your agent to get a contract now. Have them put it in writing,” Ava advised.
“I already got them working on it. We go to Memphis after we leave here. And then we’re going to close down and get ready for the Great White Way. During that off time, I will be getting some other things like a press agent and a manager,” Yancey said.
“You need a press agent, but hold off on that manager stuff. You don’t need to be giving somebody else ten percent of what you get. Trust me, girl, I know,” Ava said.
“You’re still coming to Memphis, aren’t you? I mean I know you wanted to confront Miss Pretty there, but I’d love it if you came opening night.”
“Don’t worry, darling, I’ll be there front and center,” Ava said.
Yancey heard a knock on her door and told Ava to hold on. When she looked through the peephole, she saw a Mexican housekeeper with her cart and passkey. Yancey ripped open the door and yelled, “What do you want?” The frightened maid pointed to the Housekeeping Service Requested sign. “This is on the wrong side. Come back later,” Yancey said as she slammed the door.
“Ava, let me call you back, honey. That was the dumb-ass maid and I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Mama, I’m on top of the world. And I can’t wait to see you.”
“And I can’t wait to see my daughter play the great Miss Dena Jones!”
44
“They trying to send me over the top, Doc. Trying to send a brother over the top!” Basil announced as he took his balled left hand and smacked it into the palm of his right hand. Only moments before, he had walked into the office and started pacing around the tiny space like a horse waiting to be released from his stable.
“Who’s ‘they’?”
“You are not going to believe this shit, ’cause you know what? I don’t believe it.” He stopped pacing and leaned against the windowsill with his arms crossed in a defensive posture.
“Are you going to tell me what happened? Does this have to do with Raymond?”
“Fuck no! I still ain’t heard from that mofo, but this ain’t got shit to do with him,” Basil said as he finally took a seat.
“Let’s talk about what happened.”
“First, let me tell you the story. Don’t ask me how I feel, ’cause I don’t know how I feel. Just let me tell the story, okay?”
“Fine. Tell me the story.”
Basil was silent for a few moments and then released a long sigh, and his shoulders sank as he began to speak. “I was at home the other day, sad to say, waiting on a call from Raymond. Something is up with him ’cause neither him or his boy are at the hotel. He had checked out. Since he had stood me up that night I’ve been waiting to hear from him. Whenever the phone would ring, I’d answer it after the first ring. I’d take my cellular with me everywhere I went, even the gym and the golf course. So the other day, I’m at home and the phone rings, and it’s Campbell. We talk about how we haven’t talked in a while. I tell her I’ve been busy … she says she’s been busy, and then she says she’s gotta see me today. When I asked her what was up, she said, ‘It’s something I should have told you the first time we met.’ So now she’s got my attention and I agree to meet her at Dayo, this soul food restaurant in the Village,” Basil said. He took a deep breath and continued. “I don’t like going down to the Village because mofos are always hittin’ on me. But it was the middle of the day and I figured no harm, no foul. So I meet Campbell down there and she’s drinking a glass of wine and smoking a cigarette. But she’s looking good! She had on this slammin’ tangerine-orange sweater that looked like it was sewed on her body. I’m thinking sistah’s ready to give a brother some skins, cool. I mention to her that I didn’t know she smoked and how that’s gonna mess with her workouts. She just smiles and says, ‘I only smoke when I’m nervous.’ I ask her why she’s nervous and Campbell tells me to order something to eat or drink, she’s paying. So now I’m really wondering what’s up.”
“Did she tell you?”
Basil gave the doctor a that-was-a-stupid-question look and nodded his head and said, “Oh yeah, she told me.”
“What did she say?”
Basil stood up and started talking again, but his voice sounded disconnected, as if it wasn’t attached to his body. “This bitch tells me that she’s been keeping something from me. Tells me we’re related. When I ask her how, she takes a couple of quick puffs from her cigarette and then says just real casual, ‘I’m your sister.’ I look at this bitch like she got two heads and both of ’em are fucked up.”
“What did you say?”
“I looked at her and said, ‘What kinda bullshit game are you playing? I ain’t got no sister. And if I did it certainly wouldn’t be no crazy-ass bitch like you. It’s just me and my pops.’ I thought that would shut her up, but she kept talking. Told me my mother only died recently. That she was living in New York on Long Island most of my life, but she had moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico, about five years ago. Told me some dumb-ass shit about how my father made her promise never to contact me. She said my pops had caught my mother with Campbell’s father, some white mofo, and had banished her from Jacksonville, Florida. My pops ain’t that kinda man, and so I’m thinking this bitch needs to be writing soap operas.” Basil paused briefly. “Then she told me when her mother was sick, they spent a lot of time in her bedroom just watching television and how one day they saw me on the tube being interviewed after a game and her mother told her this fucked-up story. I wanted to say to her crazy ass, ‘Don’t you know
they give sick people drugs?’ Maybe her mom had some old-timers’ disease or some shit like that.”
“Did you ask her what kind of proof she had?”
“Naw, ’cause the bitch ain’t got no proof. Campbell ain’t my sister. She don’t even look like me!”
“What did you do?”
“I told that bitch if she wanted to run a game on somebody, then I was not the mofo to be playing with. Told her I’d report her ass to the FBI for extortion.”
“So she asked you for money?”
“Hell no. I didn’t give the bitch a chance. I got up and walked my ass right out the restaurant.”
“Did you ask your father about what she said?”
Basil released a wild, hysterical laugh as he fell back into the chair and said, “Fuck no. You think I’m gonna call my pops every time some crazy mofo shows up trying to tap me for some funds? I don’t think so,” Basil said.
“So you didn’t believe her?”
“Hell the fuck no!”
“So why did it bother you so?”
“Who said it bothered me?”
“Your body language. Your voice.”
“Hey, what am I supposed to do? Now I’ve got to watch the honeys just like the hardheads. Everybody got a game,” Basil said as he got up from the chair.
“You want to talk about it some more? We’ve got a little more time.”
“Naw, Doc. I’ve done all the talking I’m going to do about that crazy bitch. And you know, when I think about it, I’m sorry I wasted even this time speaking about it. I’m outta here,” Basil said, and then dashed from the office.
45
Jared was worried, and his patience was shrinking. There had been no improvement in Nicole’s disposition. She had not left the apartment since arriving from Grand Rapids and was still wearing the same nightshirt. She spent her days watching television and old movies like Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, A Patch of Blue, and Carmen Jones. Depression was closing in on her like a winter storm.
Abide with Me Page 24
