15 years to life

by Regina Bartley

  Sweat beaded up on my forehead and my hands gripped her thighs. If I was hurting her, she didn’t say it. I could barely keep my eyes open, but when I did finally look at her, that was all it took. Seeing her riding me and breathing hard, I lost it. I came so fast it would make your head spin.

  She had to get off me.

  I pushed her up and off in one quick movement. She may not have been finished, but I was. They should have explained the feeling that comes after you get finished with sex in the books I read. I just wanted to lie there and breathe. No touching.

  I closed my eyes for just a minute to take it all in. It was done. I was no longer a virgin, but I was now addicted to sex. After a few minutes had passed, I was ready to go again. I’d never felt more alive.

  When I looked over at Easy, her mouth was hung open and she was snoring. It seriously took her minutes to pass out. She was lying naked on the sheets. The wood down below, was starting to fall. Maybe it was the drool that caused it.

  I took a quick look around her small room and realized that I couldn’t stay there. My crazy dreams, and nightmares could have me waking up in fits.

  I gave her a soft nudge and she didn’t wake, so I climbed out of bed. I was trying not to be too loud, but it was hard since I was still feeling woozy. It was making me nauseous, and I just wanted to go home. The condom was still on so I pulled it off and tossed it in the trash bin by her dresser. Getting dressed was harder than getting undressed. I stumped my toe, and tripped over her shoes. If she were going to wake up, then she would have done it when I slammed my head on the top of her dresser, but she didn’t move.

  Should I leave her a note or should I not? I went back and forth, but decided that I’d text her the next day. I probably wouldn’t see her again unless she wanted to have sex. Then I’d be on board all the way.

  I hauled ass out of her house, and made it home before eleven. It had to be a record. A date, sex, and home within a matter of four hours, no one could top that.

  Sex.

  That was all that was on my mind when I lay down to sleep that night. I had officially become a man. So what if it wasn’t with the person I expected to be with. So what if she was easy enough to knock boots on the first date. I didn’t care. If I had friends, I’d be bragging all night. My last thought before bed was that I couldn’t wait to tell Blaine. She probably wouldn’t want to hear, and I’d spare her the details, but I needed to tell someone. She was my someone.

  Chapter Fifteen- Present

  Blaine wasn’t as excited as I was about the quote, quickie sex, unquote. We argued for ten minutes about it over our scrambled eggs. Which by the way tasted amazing. She called me a man whore, and told me I could have at least bought Zoey/Easy dinner. I thought I’d done great. I was expecting a big high five or a pat on the back. I didn’t have to shell out money on an overpriced meal, and I still got sex. I’d say I did real well.

  Her head was bobbing all over the place as she yelled at me while clearing the kitchen table. “The sluts of the world are ruining our good guys.” She ranted.

  I nearly choked on the last of my milk when she said that. Who was she kidding? “You’re wrong sister. I’m not a good guy.” I chuckled as I stood next to her by the sink. “I’d say that she saw BAD BOY flashing across my forehead, and it made me an easy target.”

  Her laughter filled the kitchen. “Just keep telling yourself that Bubba.” She smirked. “I’m just glad you got it all out of your system. Maybe now it won’t bother you when you see Maddie.”

  “Uh, yeah, maybe?” I lied.

  “You want to do something tonight?” She handed me a wet plate and a dry towel.

  “Whatcha got in mind?”

  “I’m probably going to regret this, but you’re in such a good mood.” She teased. All the while I was wondering where the hell this conversation was going. “I was thinking that we could watch the fight tonight.”

  “What fight?”

  “There is some big boxing match on, and we could go watch it. If you want.” She handed me another wet dish.

  “Sure.” That didn’t sound so bad.

  Not bad at all, until she dropped the bomb.

  “We could watch it at Landon’s house?” Her voice was barely above a whisper, and she never looked back up from her soapy dishwater. “It’s just an idea.”

  I draped my heavy arm over her tiny shoulder. “Landon huh?” This was the mysterious boyfriend that I already hated, the guy that she was way too serious with.

  “Please don’t make a big deal out of this. You want to meet him, he wants to meet you, and I just want to get this first encounter over with.” She stopped what she was doing to finally look me in the eyes. “Do you know how hard it’ll be on him to meet you? My brother. The man that spent most of his life in prison.”

  “Damn, go ahead and cut the wound a little deeper why don’t ya?”

  “You know what I mean. Stop being a baby. I’m serious. I love you. I don’t give a damn about what anyone thinks about you, except…” She trailed off.

  “Except what?”

  “Except this one. He’s important, and he knows how much you mean to me. I want him to like you, and not be scared of you.”

  Dammit if she didn’t just chuck my plan right out the window. Maybe a little fear wouldn’t hurt. Besides, he has to know how important she is to me too. “Okay, okay.” I threw the dishtowel at her head, and surrendered. “What should I wear?” I joked.

  “Shut up.” She pitched the towel back at me. “We are leaving at seven.”

  “Sounds good.” I roughed up her hair. “I’ll be ready.”

  Despite what she asked of me, I was still going to try and scare this guy a little. Even if I had to do it when she wasn’t looking. I was her protector, and it was my job to make sure that no one hurt her. If she loved him, fine. But I wouldn’t let him screw her over. He’d better have his head in the right place tonight, and his intentions had better be crystal fucking clear.

  ∞

  On the way to Landon’s house I got a text message from Easy saying that she wanted me to call her sometime. I really needed to stop calling her that in my head, before I accidently did it to her face. The fact that she was texting me first had to be a plus though. That meant that I wasn’t a complete disaster in bed, if she was already after seconds. Right? I didn’t text her back, because Blaine was getting me all worked up over this stupid meeting and I really wasn’t sure if I even wanted to text her back. Not yet at least.

  Staring out the car window, I debated whether or not to bust it out with my head. It would be less torture than what Blaine was putting me through. She was drilling me hard, asking that I just give him a chance. She wanted to make sure that I didn’t completely screw things up. She didn’t actually say those words, but I could read between the lines. Sometimes. All I was getting out of the one sided conversation was that I probably shouldn’t be myself. Again, the car window was looking more and more promising. Just a quick bash, and we’d be turning this car around and heading for the hospital. A couple of stitches, and some painkillers, sounded like a win-win situation to me.

  “Are you listening Bubba?”

  For the love of Jimmy Hendrix, would she just give me a damn chance to meet the guy first?

  It was going from bad to worse real quick. I didn’t give her any more chances to speak. When we pulled into the parking lot, I opened the car door and jumped out. The car hadn’t even completely stopped.

  I took a deep breath of the cool night air, and tried to control myself. Too much aggravation was bad for me. It made me jumpy and on edge.

  For the few seconds that I had to myself, I got a better look of this place. It was no wonder she came over here all the time. The place was fancy, much nicer than our place. The size alone was intimidating.

  I hadn’t asked her about why he never came over to her place, or our place, but I wanted to. I just had to wait for the right time and place, and this wasn’t it. You’d think that I was
meeting royalty or something with the way she was acting.

  I stood on the sidewalk in front of the car, and watched as she looked at herself in the mirror that hung in the car. The girl was beautiful. There was no reason for her to be checking out the way that she looked. Honestly, it made me wonder what kind of guy this boyfriend was. Does he not tell her how beautiful she is? I’ll punch his face in if he doesn’t.

  I gave her my –hurry the hell up face, and waved her out of the car. I didn’t give her time to say anything as I walked quickly up the steps to the apartment. I had to stop when we reached the front doors, and I realized I had no clue where we were going.

  Through the doors, up the elevator, and twenty-one steps later, we were at his door.

  I knocked without hesitation.

  Let’s get this show on the road.

  Um, uh, hmm…

  I was not expecting what I saw, when the guy answered the door.

  “Babe,” he said. Not to me, but to my sister. She went right into his arms.

  I swallowed the apple size lump in my throat at the sight of them. Maybe I was expecting some lanky guy with great hair and a sport coat, or maybe I was expecting glasses and a fancy hat, I don’t know. What I do know is that I wasn’t expecting someone who looked like he’d shared the next jail cell over. This guy was as big as me. Not bigger, but as big. He had long hair that was tied in the back like something I’d see my sister do with her hair. He had a full beard, and was wearing track pants. Yes I knew what track pants were. Who was this clown?

  “Landon,” my sister smiled up at him as his arms were wrapped around her. “This is my brother Brian. Brian, this is Landon.”

  “Nice to finally meet you.” He said. He didn’t offer me a handshake, but he did look me in the eyes. He looked me directly in the eyes. He was that tall.

  “Hey,” was all I could say. I stared down at my sister. If my eyes could speak then they’d be asking a lot of questions right now. She was squirming so I knew that she knew. No wonder she was so nervous. A little more preparation would have been helpful.

  “Come in,” Landon said. He opened the door and waited as I walked through. My sister was still glued to his side.

  I stepped through the doorway and into a large living room. I thought the outside of the building was fancy, but it paled in comparison to the inside. Millions of crazy thoughts ran through my head, like was he a drug dealer or had he robbed rich people in an alley across town. The place was like something out of a magazine, and he sure as hell wasn’t a doctor. I’d bet my ass on that. I was afraid to even walk across the floor, afraid that I might get it dirty or something.

  Was this the reason that she wouldn’t let him come to our place? Was she ashamed?

  As soon as I could get her alone I was going to ask her, because if that was the reason than she didn’t need this loser in her life after all. She didn’t have to be ashamed of where she came from. Fuck, she should be proud. She wasn’t locked up in some state penitentiary her entire life. I’d say she done real good.

  “The match is about to start. You can sit down. You want a beer?” He asked.

  “Sure.” I shrugged as I sat down on the oversized couch. It was made for a big guy like myself.

  As soon as he stepped out of the living room, I started talking. “You got some explaining to do girl.”

  “I know I do, but lets just make it through this fight. I’ll tell you everything later.”

  I ground my teeth at the thought of having to wait to hear what she had to say. I was hoping this fight ended in a knock out the first round.

  “I need to know one thing right now.” I leaned over to get closer.

  “What?”

  “Is he doing something illegal?”

  “No, geez.”

  Uh, huh. I didn’t believe that for a minute. “Fine.” I growled. If she wasn’t going to tell me, then he was. I didn’t even let him get all the way back inside the living room before I started drilling him. “What kind of work do you do Landon?” I asked, and not very nicely.

  “I’m in real estate.” He answered quickly. He handed me a bottle of beer, which later I would find out tasted like piss.

  I drank it anyway.

  “What exactly do you do in real estate?” He could have robbed houses for all I knew.

  “I’m an agent, I list and sell properties. My partner and I own our own firm.” He took a drink of his beer, but not before putting an arm around my sister.

  I cleared my throat. “How old are you?”

  I could feel Blaine’s eyes shooting daggers at my head. She was probably wishing that my head would burst into flames at that very moment.

  “I’m twenty six.”

  “Awful young,” I took another drink of the piss in a bottle. It was the nastiest shit I’d ever tasted.

  “I’m proud of that actually. I work really hard.”

  I started to say something else, but Blaine interrupted. “I’m going to the restroom.” She gave me a devilish look before getting up off the couch. I smiled, and of course that made her angrier.

  “What the hell is going on?”

  He leaned forward, and folded his hands. They rested firmly across his legs. “I love her, simple as that.”

  Oh, yeah. That simple, huh? Fuck that. “No,” I shook my head. “It ain’t simple at all. You’re living here is some high rise apartment building, you have everything you could want including my sister, you claim to love her, and you have never once been to her place. Care to explain that to me? Do you think that just because she doesn’t have money that she’s not good enough? I’m fucking confused here, and I may have promised her that I’d be nice to you, but I am one step away from slitting your throat.” Not really. But I would break his fucking nose.

  “I don’t give a damn about where she came from or what she has. I love her. I’m not fucking kidding around. I have tried to come over to her place several times, and she doesn’t want any part of it. It’s not because of me, and I sure as hell don’t pressure her.” He stared me straight in the eyes. “And if you want to slit my throat, you’d better get your big boy pants on. That girl is my life, and I would take a bullet for her or a knife. Don’t threaten me. I mean what I say. I love her, and no one will change that. Not even you.”

  Blaine walked back into the room, and I sat back on the couch. This was far from over. I didn’t get to say my peace. Who did this guy think he was? I couldn’t decide if I should be angry, or proud. No one ever talked to me like that. No one except a prison guard, and that was because they knew they had that kind of power over me. He had my sister; I guess that held just as much power.

  A bullet. I shook my head and stared at the big screen TV. Blaine knew that something was up, but didn’t say anything. It was for the best. I needed a minute to get my head wrapped around it. He wouldn’t have been so defensive if he didn’t really love her right? Or was he just saying those things to me so that I’d go off and cause a scene? Inside my head was the worst place to be, because I stayed confused all the time. I don’t know if people say what they mean or not. I know that I do, but when you are shut off from the world for as many years as I was, you just don’t know. People are the most confusing things in this world. It isn’t cars, or electronics. Those things have manuals. You learn to use them, and they don’t change. This idiot could be lying right to my face and I’d never know it.

  “I’m going to step outside and use the phone.” I said. I didn’t give them time to say anything back. It made me feel so much like a child when I couldn’t understand things or people ticked me off. It took everything I had not to throw a complete tantrum and start breaking things. I had to breathe. I had to step outside away from the two of them, and get some air.

  “Are you all right?” Blaine said before I even made it outside the lobby doors.

  “I’m upset Blaine. I don’t know what pisses me off more.” I turned to face her. “The fact that you didn’t fill me in before this little field trip
, or that you are keeping things from me. Maybe you don’t understand the way my head works, but I have to know things. I can’t be thrown into a situation where I have no fucking clue what’s going on, because I already feel like an eleven year old boy trapped in a man’s body.”

  “I don’t understand Brian.”

  “And you think I do.” I groaned and stretched my arms high above my head. “It’s hard to explain. All I know is, I can’t read people. I don’t know when people are lying or telling the truth. It makes me so mad that I can’t see straight, and you know what happens when I get mad.”

  She stepped closer to me. “You think that I know how to read people? It’s not some luxury that you develop over time. Everybody is different Bubba. You just have to trust that people are telling you the truth.”

  “You’re not.”

  She bit down hard and pressed her lips firmly together. “I’m not lying to you. Jesus.”

  “Than what do you call it, because keeping something from me is pretty much lying.”

  “Dammit Brian. What do you want me to say?” She yelled.

  “Tell me the truth. What is going on? Why does this guy claim to love you, but you won’t let him come to your house? Why do you act like I’m a child, and try to take care of me? Huh?”

  “Because.”

  “You better do better than that.” I shook my head.

  “Fine, if it pisses you off, so be it,” she cried out. “I don’t let him come to my house, because it’s mine. It is the only place in the whole freaking world where I feel safe. I don’t want to fight with someone in my house where I feel safe. That includes you. It is the one place that I can run back to and be alone, in my safe place. Yes, I love him, and he loves me too, but he can never come to my safe place. It’s for you and me. ONLY!” She was crying now. “And I don’t know why I act this way towards you. I still picture you as the little boy who kept me safe at night. All those years that were lost between us affected me too. When you walked out of that prison, I knew that things would be hard for you. I knew that I had to be there for you, to help you, to take care of you. I owed you that much for taking care of me. I’m just as messed up as you are.”