Hetch (Men OF S.W.A.T. #1)

by River Savage

  “I’m not going to lie. I’ve never been more scared in my life sitting in that hospital waiting to hear if you survived. But I knew going into this what you did for a living, and the risk that comes with it. What scared me the most was the possibility of never being able to tell you how much I love you.” The room pulses in unmasked tension as I process the words I’ve been waiting to hear. I know she hasn’t left my side through all of this, but she’s been yet to say it and, after the mess I put her through, I wasn’t sure if she was hanging around out of obligation or if she really did love me.

  “You love me?” I sound like a pussy, even to my own ears, but the truth is, I need to hear her say it so badly right now I’d be willing to beg for it.

  “I’m so deeply, deeply in love with you, Liam, that the thought of you never knowing how much I loved you, broke me. It shattered me. The only reason I recovered was because you opened your eyes.” Her lips find mine in a kiss which stops me from replying. It’s not soft, or warm; it’s not even comforting.

  It’s urgent and forgiving, and by the time she pulls back, I’m so far gone I can’t process if it’s her tears on my lips or my own.

  “I love you, Liam Hetcherson. But don’t ever leave me like that again or I will hunt you down.” She wipes my face while I wipe hers.

  I don’t answer her with a promise. Because the promise of something so big is too dangerous to lie about, especially with my job. Instead, I hold her against me and promise never to stop loving her. To never stop making her laugh, and to always come home when I can.

  Forty-Two

  Liberty

  “Do you believe in heaven?” The question comes out of left field as we lie together in bed.

  “Umm, yeah. I guess I believe there’s something bigger out there.” It’s dark in my room, but the low light of the moon filtering through the window shows me enough to see he’s on his back, not looking at me. Coming up on my elbow, I rest my head in my palm and wait for him to respond.

  “I think I saw my dad when I got shot.” His gaze stays locked on the ceiling, but his hand moves to find my free one.

  It’s been four weeks since Hetch came home, and while we still haven’t fallen back into old routines, we’re slowly getting there.

  “You mean like in a dream?” I press on.

  “Maybe.” He shrugs. “I mean it felt like a dream, but sometimes I think I remember hearing you talking to me. Asking me to come back.” He risks a look at me, concern etched into his brow.

  “I’ve heard of things like this before. I mean you were out of it for a few days. Your subconscious can give you dreams like that.” I offer what I hope is some reassurance. I’m not saying he didn’t experience what he’s saying, I'm just trying to understand it.

  “We talked about you. We talked about Mom and Kota. He told me I had to wake up.” He releases my hand to rub his face a couple of times.

  “Are you freaking out about it?” I ask, wondering if I should be concerned. This is the first time he’s brought this up in four weeks. Maybe it’s bothering him.

  “Not really. In the beginning, I was a little freaked out. But, since coming home, I’ve stopped dreaming about him. Before, I would replay the same dream over and over a couple of times a week. Now, it’s gone.”

  “Well, maybe it was your way of finally letting go?” I whisper, hoping it’s true.

  With Hetch being off work the last four weeks, it’s given him more free time to see Dr. Anderson. I’ve noticed a huge difference in him. From opening up more about his dad and his past, to barely flinching when I ask questions about him.

  “Yeah, maybe.” He doesn’t sound convinced, but he doesn’t sound worried either. Not sure what to say, I don’t say anything and let the quiet fall between us again.

  “I miss him.” He shakes his head and rolls to face me. “I hated that dream, but now it’s gone, I’m missing him.”

  I scoot closer, placing my open palm against his heart. “It’s okay to miss him. I don’t ever expect you not to miss him. He’s your father, and you’re his son, regardless if he is here in the flesh or not. But what you need to remember”—I pat his chest, drawing his attention to his heart—“is that he is always in here.” Reaching up, I then cup his jaw.

  “Have I told you I love you today?” I ask, changing the subject before he has time to dwell on it too much.

  “Maybe.” His hand covers mine. “But I’m not opposed to hearing it again.”

  “I love you, Liam Hetcherson.” I smile when he smiles. “You are the most amazing man I’ve ever known.” I kiss him before he can say anything. My sudden need to show him all the love he deserves is too strong to stop.

  He deepens the kiss. The hand resting on my hip digs in and pulls me against him while his tongue thrusts past my lips and entwines with mine.

  Seized by a rush of need, I press closer to him. My legs part and I lift one up over his side, rolling my hips against him. It’s probably the worst thing I could do. Since leaving the hospital, we’ve yet to have sex, the doctor giving Hetch strict instructions on no strenuous activity. Sex included.

  “Wait.” I stop, realizing my mistake, but Hetch doesn’t obey.

  “No, not stopping tonight.” His lips leave mine and travel down my jaw, and to my neck.

  “The doctor hasn’t cleared you.” My words may be rejecting him, but my hips are still rolling against him, searching for friction.

  “We’ll be careful.” His teeth sink into my neck, sending a ripple of goose bumps over my skin.

  “Oh, God. We shouldn’t.” I fight a little harder.

  “Please, baby. I need you.” His plea is followed by another quick bite to my neck.

  Fuck, how can I resist him?

  “Hetch, this isn’t a good idea.” He rolls both of us so I’m on my back, and he’s covering me.

  “See, that’s where you’re wrong. My cock and I think it’s the best idea of the day.” His hands push my nightie up and over my head while mine find the waistband of his boxers. Our heads collide while we try to undress each other.

  “Fuck.”

  “Shit.”

  We both curse, rubbing our heads.

  “We seem to be a little out of practice,” I whisper, watching him carefully.

  “We just need to slow it down.” He pulls back and stands by the side of the bed. I watch as he drops his boxers, freeing his rock-hard erection.

  The thick veins running through his cock throb in front of my eyes.

  Jesus.

  “Are you sure you want to?” My fingers dip into the sides of my panties, but I don’t pull them down until he gives the okay.

  “What sort of question is that, sweetheart?” He widens his stance, fists his cock, and strokes himself. My core throbs and my nipples harden. Even if I wanted to resist this man, the sight before me pushes every bit of willpower left in me away.

  Making quick work of my panties, I kick them off and move down the bed so I’m lying in front of him. Exposed and waiting.

  “Jesus, I’ve missed you.” His voice is husky with need. His stare is scorching with want.

  “Touch yourself, sweetheart.” My hands obey. Reaching between my legs, I part my lips and glide my finger through my wetness.

  “Tell me how wet you are.” His eyes don’t leave my pussy while mine don’t leave his cock. Both of us transfixed with the other, getting ourselves off.

  “Take a look yourself.” I spread my legs wider, giving him a better view.

  “Fuck, baby.” The half groan, half grunt washes over me, and anchors me to the point I almost don’t feel him climb up over me and settle between my legs. “Need you so bad.”

  I spread my legs wider, making room for him. Coming up on my elbows, I look down my body and watch him line up his cock at my entrance. Risking a glance up at him, I find his gaze locked on me.

  “Watch, sweetheart. Watch me come home.” My gaze slides back to his cock as he pushes himself inside me.

  “Oh,
God,” I pant as he throbs inside of me, my core pulsing around him.

  The sting of him stretching me coils in my stomach, but is soon forgotten when he moves his hips in a slow, deliberate pace.

  “Harder,” I encourage as an orgasm builds faster than expected.

  “No, baby.” He takes my hands and secures them over my head, keeping me restrained. “We’re not fucking tonight. I’m making love to my woman.” His words whisper over my skin like the heat of a fire on a winter’s night. Tremors of excitement pulse from my toes and work their way up to my heart.

  “Hetch.” I moan. The start of an orgasm dances in front of me, the promise of ecstasy teasing and taunting me.

  “Look at me, Liberty.” My eyes open on command and connect with his. Each one of his thrusts remain controlled, but still, it manages to spiral me out of control.

  “I’m so deeply in love with you, B.” My mouth swallows his words. Our tongues make love with the same amount of passion as our bodies.

  I don’t get a chance to confess my love before my orgasm takes hold of me and drags me through an abyss of pleasure.

  “God, yes!” This time, his mouth captures my cries. Keeping up his perfect pace, it takes only a few more beats before his release seizes him. His cry of pleasure rings out, prickling my skin in a second wave of want.

  “Jesus, I’ve missed you.” He drops his forehead to mine while he tries to catch his breath.

  “I’m so deeply in love with you, too.” His eyes open at the quietness of my words and lock onto mine.

  “Move in with me, B,” he replies, knocking the wind out of me harder than the orgasm he just gave me.

  “What?”

  His lips curve up at my panic. “Move in with me.” Even repeated a second time, they don’t soothe my unease. Maybe being trapped under him with his cock still pulsing inside of me makes it harder to focus, but it’s like the words have wiped my brain from functioning.

  “B-but I live next door.” My answer is stupid, even I know it. If I could slap myself, I would.

  “I’m not asking you to move in with me here. I want you to move in with me, in my house.” He whispers soft kisses over my face, like he’s easing me into the idea.

  “But it’s not livable. You said it’s too cluttered.” I don’t know why I’m fighting it. Of course I want to move in with him. It’s just so sudden and unexpected. And he still has his cock inside of me.

  “I did, but then you came along, sweetheart. You crashed into my life with your jacked-up vibrator, and your inappropriate notes, and you saved me. You saved me when I didn’t know I needed saving.”

  A wave of tears burst free, but I try my hardest to control them. “Hetch–”

  “I realize I can do anything when I’m with you, sweetheart. The darkness seems a little less dark, the pain is a little more manageable, and the clutter… the clutter fades and what’s left behind is the beauty of the moment. So yes, I know it’s soon. But you’re mine, and I’m not letting you go ever again.”

  I let the room fall away from us as I imagine us together in his home. I can see it. I can see us living there in the beautiful home, even through the chaos of all the renovations. But most of all, I can feel it.

  “You’ve gone quiet.” He pulls me out of my vision.

  “Did you practice that speech?” I blurt, my heart beating wildly in my chest. In my head, I see myself reacting differently, but I can’t seem to switch off the stupid.

  “Yeah, with hand gestures and all, but I dropped them last minute,” he replies, letting the heavy tension fall away from our easy candor. “Did it win you over?” he asks when the silence grows too wide.

  “You didn’t have to win me, Hetch. You had me already.”

  His hands cradle my face as he slows the moment down. “So that’s a yes?” His eyes track mine, holding me frozen to him as if he’s willing the right answer from within me.

  “Yes, it’s–” His lips crash to mine before I can finish my reply.

  It’s not a simple everyday kiss, but one that changes our lives. Changes our future.

  “I love you, sweetheart,” he says as he pulls away, but even breaking the kiss, our eyes stay locked on one another.

  “And I love you.”

  I never thought the night he interrupted me and my “jacked-up vibrator” as he puts it, we would be where we are right now. Hell, I never thought I’d fall in love again, but here I am. Here we are.

  The paths we traveled separately brought us to one another.

  He thinks I saved him from himself, but he saved me. And when I close my eyes, I see the faces of all the people who love him; and I see, even if briefly, how he saved each one of them: his mom, Kota, the guys on his team, Mitch. And it makes me love him more.

  Harder. Deeper. Stronger.

  Forever.

  Epilogue

  HETCH

  four months later

  “So we have a bit of a dilemma.”

  I turn at Payton’s voice. “Please tell me she isn’t here.” My eyes scan the back deck, hoping the surprise isn’t ruined.“No, no. She’s not here. But neither is her mom or dad.”

  “Have you heard from them?” I look down at my watch, checking how late they are. Everyone was meant to be here an hour early so this wouldn’t happen.

  “Yeah, they're running late. They’re not going to be here for another ten minutes.

  Crap. Liberty should be here in less than fifteen.

  “Okay, so I'll call B, see how far away she is.” Stepping away from the noise of the house, I pull my phone out of my pocket and bring up her name. She answers on the third ring, less chirpy than when I sent her out the door to work this morning.

  “Hello, birthday girl.” Her grunt of a reply only proves she’s trying not to be pissed that no one has called her today to wish her happy birthday. “Have you left yet?” I ignore her attitude. Soon she’ll realize why everyone has stayed clear from her today.

  “Just getting in my car now.” I grin because even though I can’t see her, I can picture the soft pout on her lips, and the crease in her brow that deepens when she’s sulking.

  “How did it go?” I brave her attitude, because as much as I want to get her to this party, the meeting she’s been at for most of the afternoon was with Mitch’s caseworker regarded visitation for Dominic. While Mitch originally stated he wanted nothing to do with Dominic, these last few months have given him time to think it over some more. Surprisingly, like us, Dominic has been supportive of his brother's decision and hasn’t pushed the issue of seeing him. In the beginning, I didn’t buy it, but now, it’s not hard to see he’s trying. I’m not saying I trust the situation completely, but Dominic has kept himself out of trouble. Got himself a job at a local mechanics. He’s passing his random drug tests that are a part of his probation and from the intel Detective Marsh has been giving me, he hasn’t been affiliated with The Disciples since he testified against Anton.

  “Yeah, it was fine. Everything is set for next week.” She sighs. A rush of breath pulses through the phone, tickling my ear with its vibrations.

  “You okay?” I press, knowing she’s not. She’s trying so hard to be supportive of Mitch in whatever he decides, but welcoming Dominic back in his life is a big step, one neither of us have taken lightly. It’s nerve wracking. We’re all wondering if this is going to be a huge mistake. If Dominic is going to undo all the good Mitch has achieved these last few months.

  “Just tell me this is a good thing.” The plea is desperate, so I give her what she needs.

  “This is a good thing, Lib. Mitch is ready. He’s taken his time to come to this decision. Thought it through. He’s not a kid, and we need to respect his need for family in his life.” The soft sigh of relief washes over me, as my words do their job.

  “You’re right. I’m just worrying.”

  “I know you are, sweetheart, and that’s why Mitch is lucky. But please don’t worry about this too much. I’ve got Mitch’s back, and if D
om fucks up, even once, I’m there.”

  “Thank you.” I’m not sure if she’s thanking me for having Mitch’s back or for reassuring her. Either way, I accept it.

  “You’re welcome. Now, how far out are you?”

  “Ten minutes.” Her tone is less tense now, and I’m cringing for what I’m about to ask next.

  “Ahh, okay. Are you able to stop by the store on your way home and pick me up some beer?” I pause, waiting for her reaction. The last four months of living with this woman has taught me a lot. But nothing more than when she is sulking, you don’t poke her.

  “W-what?” Liberty questions me while I smirk, watching Payton’s jaw drop as I try to buy us some more time.

  “Well, it just so happens that I started the grill up then realized I needed beer, and you’re already out.” I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.

  “We’re eating in? I thought we were going to Il Centro’s?” Guilt sneaks its way into my reasoning, but I fight the urge to let the surprise out of the bag.

  “Ahhh, yeah about that, they were booked when I called. We couldn’t get a reservation.” I’m going to boyfriend hell, front row seat.

  “Oh, my God, this is the worst birthday ever!” she huffs in a fit of rage.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I know you were looking forward to it. But I promise I’ll make it up to you.” I try to soothe her annoyance, but there's no use. She’s been looking forward to her birthday all month, and now we’re ruining it.

  She doesn’t say anything for a while, her heavy breathing a clear indicator she is trying to calm herself. “Okay, so you just want the beer?” she somehow finds her Zen and asks.

  “Yes, please, sweetheart.”

  “Right, well, I’ll be home in twenty then.” She hangs up without a good-bye, and if it were any other day, I would call back and give her shit for it.

  Pocketing my phone, I let Payton know the good news.

  “We have twenty minutes.” I head back inside, ready to let everyone know we’re twenty minutes out.