The Trash Tier Dungeon

by Kaye Fairburn

  Unlocks:

  - n/a

  Description: Creation of this room will allow for the spawning of cattens. Cattens are the basic melee unit for the dungeon.

  Name: Spiny Lynx Dwelling

  Type: Room

  Health: 850

  Cost: 150 shinies + 100 glowyrms

  Requirements:

  - Farm

  Usage:

  - Spawns spiny lynxes for 100 shinies + 50 glowyrms.

  Unlocks:

  - n/a

  Description: Creation of this room will allow for the spawning of spiny lynxes. Spiny lynxes are the basic ranged unit for the dungeon.]

  “I don’t think I have to ask if you know where any glowyrm clusters might be,” Arden said.

  “The answer’s exactly what you think it’d be.”

  “Thought so.”

  They’d have to hunt down a source of them if they wanted to create any spiny lynxes. Arden assumed that any advanced building structures would need them, too. Glowyrm clusters were rarer to find than the shiny deposits.

  Two workercats joined Arden in the farm room. She didn’t stick around to watch them eat from their wet food plants. Some things shouldn’t be witnessed.

  She flew over their heads and out into the hallway, destination: the Dungeon Heart room. Her mana was still low. Relaxing next to Minette was the cure she needed.

  “How are we on shinies?” Arden asked.

  Minette showed her the Resources menu.

  [RESOURCES:

  25 shinies / 0 glowyrms]

  200 shinies never felt so far away. They still had so many other buildings to worry about first.

  “Can I name the workercats now?” Minette asked.

  “Sure, there’s not much we can do except wait.”

  “Great! I think I came up with the perfect names. Check them out.”

  [UNITS -ALL-

  Nickname: Drasko

  Name: Workercat 1

  Unit Type: Peon

  Health: 40/40

  Energy: 98%

  Morale: 88%

  Nickname: Grandis

  Name: Workercat 2

  Unit Type: Peon

  Health: 40/40

  Energy: 97%

  Morale: 85%

  Nickname: Daccota

  Name: Workercat 3

  Unit Type: Peon

  Health: 40/40

  Energy: 68%

  Morale: 83%

  Nickname: Joseph “Eagle”

  Name: Workercat 4

  Unit Type: Peon

  Health: 40/40

  Energy: 99%

  Morale: 89%]

  Arden had to speak up in regards to the last one. “Did you give a unit a nickname for his nickname?”

  “I thought it matched his vibe better. Just call him Eagle.”

  “I’m guessing Daccota is still on his way to the farm. As soon as he gets his fill, have him join the others in mining shinies.”

  “You got it, boss.”

  Arden practically crashed to the floor when she made it to Minette’s room. Her limited mana took a toll on her. All she wanted to do was nap, but, unfortunately, she didn’t trust Minette. Arden still felt like the dungeon would wreck everything once her back was turned.

  Everything that they did in the Trash Tier Dungeon needed scrutiny and control. A sleeping Arden would only lead to detriment.

  “Are you feeling all right?” Minette asked. “You look wiped.”

  Arden sat close to the doorway, her legs stretched out. While she would’ve preferred a higher point to relax on, the Dungeon Heart room didn’t have anything in it other than Minette’s sphere of a head/body.

  “I’m not used to using my magic that much. Not back-to-back like that, anyway.”

  “Really? I would’ve thought that you’d been zipping around your old dungeon all the time.”

  She crossed her ankles. “Nope.”

  “My first pixie was like that. She flew around everywhere and had ideas for everything. Too bad we had a total style clash. Her tastes were so drab,” Minette said. “I feel like I gravitated towards cute things out of retaliation. She hated it when I fussed over the workercats.”

  “Probably because you weren’t doing your job.”

  “She told me my only job was to be happy. I just didn’t notice how unhappy she was with me until she left. I think putting me first needled away at her. We weren’t in sync.”

  Arden scoffed. “Yeah, the Dungeon Pixie Academy leads pixies astray like that. We’re taught to put our dungeons first no matter what.”

  “What was your dungeon like?”

  “It was a dungeon. That’s what it was like.” She turned her head to yawn into her fist.

  “You know, one day I’ll get you to open up about it. We’re going to run out of things to talk about eventually,” Minette said.

  “You don’t need to know anything about my old life,” Arden said. “What you need to focus on is running your dungeon and making sure it’s the best that it can be. Us being friends isn’t gonna make a difference.”

  “If you say so.”

  Arden ignored the sharp dejection in her voice. She had to get them back on track thinking about what they were going to do next.

  “I was considering pursuing the Research Center first, but now that I think more about it, it isn’t like we would have the money to spare for any upgrades at the moment. Besides, judging by the decline in their Morale scores, hanging out with other workercats isn’t going to be enough.”

  Minette’s cheerfulness returned at full blast. “So what you’re saying is we need to save up for a Recreation Center. I love that room!”

  “Yeah, you definitely love that room and the farm room. You know, I forgot to ask you this, but did you have a Research Center before? It seemed like you had some traps in your dungeon, which means you would’ve had a Research Center and a Trap Workshop.”

  Terrible traps, but they were traps nonetheless.

  “Oh, my pixies brought them here. They got them from their friends or something. I didn’t care about them.”

  “Obviously.”

  “For a good reason! They didn’t fit my aesthetic.”

  “You were going for an aesthetic? I don’t think a long maze of boredom is an aesthetic, Minette.”

  “Does a never-ending straight path count as a maze?”

  “You’re not helping your case,” Arden said. “I’m not letting you re-create that monstrosity again, by the way. We’re not going to run away and hide from adventurers. We’re going to kill them and decorate this room with their schools.”

  “Schools?”

  “Skulls! I meant to say skulls. What the hell would we do with a school of adventurers?”

  “Glue their skeletons to the walls, apparently. You’re the one that wants to collect their skulls. Oh, I think I might get it now. You’re from some kind of skeleton dungeon. Skulls are part of your aesthetic.”

  “We’re not going to talk about my old dungeon. That’s final,” Arden said. “How’s everyone’s progress? Show me the report.”

  “Back to business, then. Here’s the screen.”

  [RESOURCES:

  25 shinies / 0 glowyrms]

  “No one’s returned yet?” Arden held her head in her hands.

  “Two of them are close. Grandis is trailing behind. Daccota’s finishing dinner.”

  “Alright, maybe I will take a nap. Feel free to buy the Recreation Center without me. Place it near the farm." Arden moved to the corner of the room. It was a safer spot to curl up in. There’d be no chance of accidentally getting stepped on.

  She still didn’t fully trust Minette, but the siren call of sleep outweighed that for now.

  Arden only hoped that there’d be nothing horrific waiting for her when she woke up.

  ***

  Funny how self-fulfilling sentences like those are. The very thing she hoped wouldn’t happen happened, of course. Arden had assumed that the horror would come from Minette�
�s doing. What happened was still her fault, but indirectly so in the sense that she should have informed Arden about the nature of her surface environment.

  Although dungeons were primarily concerned with everything happening to them internally, they’d be remiss to ignore the surface level. The surface concerned things like nearby towns, potential dungeon crawlers, and wandering monsters.

  The wandering monsters were different in that they weren’t operating under anyone’s influence. They were mindless, behaviorally driven beasts. Apparently, there were several types that lived in the forest outside the Trash Tier Dungeon’s entrance portal. Arden had avoided a few jackalopes on her way to the dungeon. They weren’t anything to worry about.

  Unfortunately, they didn’t have the luck to face a bunch of bunny rabbits with antlers. Their visitors were gnarlixes, which were smooth, muscular brutes who dragged themselves around with their two front arms. Their tails weren’t functional; they simply hung from their backsides. Their warped spines bent them to the ground, requiring them to crawl.

  Their tiny, lidded eyes provided them with limited vision. They mainly relied on their keen sense of smell. They had a penchant for sniffing out blood and going into a frenzy over it.

  The most devastating thing about gnarlixes were their razor-sharp teeth. They were known to enjoy stripping the flesh off of their targets’ bodies, and doing so in a careless and agonizing manner. They hunted for entertainment as much as sustenance.

  Lovely, right?

  Two of those lovely creatures popped out of the Warp Gate. Minette’s alert about it woke Arden up from her nap.

  [WARNING!

  Two gnarlixes have entered the dungeon. Prepare yourselves.]

  The mixture of expletives Arden released were not to be repeated by anyone poor of constitution or under 57 years old. She spewed words for every letter of the alphabet—the most colorful being xqikkab-baba, which when loosely translated from pixie language described the sensation of letting out an oops brick when expecting something gaseous.

  “Holy bubbles, we’re all going to die.” Arden chewed on her knuckles.

  “But death’s not the end forever. It’s transient.”

  “It’s forever when you’re dead!”

  “We have the workercats.”

  “They’re not going to do crap. Peons run from danger unless they’re defending the Dungeon Heart room. I can’t let the gnarlixes get to you. I’m our only hope here.” She took a deep breath as the realization hit her. “I’ll hold them off. What are our resources like?”

  [RESOURCES:

  0 shinies / 0 glowyrms]

  “We built the Recreation Center. I let everyone take a break until you woke up,” Minette said.

  Arden didn’t have the time to rage at her over that. “Get everyone working! Don’t let them near the western side.”

  She flew as fast as she could down the hall. Dirt walls streaked along the sides of her vision. Her speed had her slicing through the wind, tearing water from her eyes. Arden prayed that’d be the only tearing happening.

  Since she wasn’t a created unit in Minette’s dungeon, she’d be able to respawn if she died. In the time that it’d take for her to respawn, however, Minette would surely perish. Despite Minette’s appearance, she could bleed from a sufficient amount of damage. Once the monsters figured that out, they would chew her open. Arden dying would mean the end of them both.

  If 200 shinies felt far away before, now it felt millions upon millions of miles away.

  Not to forget the waiting time to build and the 25 shinies we’re going to need to make a unit on top of that.

  Arden rounded the corner at the end of the hall. The gnarlixes’ nostrils flared, immediately noticing her. They dug their fingers into the earth. Their maniacal grins split their faces wide open. Drool seeped from the corners of their mouths. The globular strands shone when they hit the floor, Minette’s light sparkling off of their saliva.

  She took a deep breath before rushing towards the creatures. Arden spun, her momentum helping to propel her. The beasts gave chase to meet her. The one on the left launched into the air, its mouth stretched to swallow her whole. Arden swerved out of the way.

  Its putrid breath nauseated her. She stayed high against the ceiling where they couldn’t reach her. Arden clapped and whistled at them so they wouldn’t get bored and seek out a new target. The gnarlixes were like tinaldos in that regard. Thankfully, they weren’t as intelligent as those hell hounds. Tinaldos would’ve figured out a work-around for Arden’s trick by now.

  Arden flew along the ceiling. The beasts gnashed their teeth. They howled in anger, their attempts to snatch Arden coming up empty every time. The first one to try slammed its fist against the ground. A shockwave radiated from the impact. The ceiling reflected the residual shake of it.

  She realized then that the creatures must’ve been crossbred. Gnarlixes didn’t normally have those abilities.

  The other one threw in punches of its own. Each blow shook her safety point. The force blew her around, her frame unable to withstand it. What sounded like cackling burst out of the gnarlixes. They beat the ground in tandem. The flurry of attacks sent Arden spiraling towards a waiting mouth.

  She activated her Disguise skill.

  Rather than having its fill of delicious pixie, the monster received a mouthful of plump workercat butt. Arden yowled. The gnarlix let go in surprise, its head snapping to the side as it released her. She soared for a moment, then crashed into a rolling tumble.

  She staggered to her feet, trying to get used to the transition.

  They didn’t give her any acclimation time. They charged for her, their spit flying everywhere.

  Arden ran against reason. She went straight into the fray. The beasts howled, welcoming her flesh and fur. Arden twirled to dodge their bite. They took advantage of her stumble, but she kept going.

  Teeth scraped against her side as she squeezed past. She escaped into the gap between them and the wall, her legs moving faster than any real workercat’s would. The monsters stayed on her heels. Her bobbing tail acted like a lure, with her entire self as the better bait.

  She made it into the Warp Gate room.

  And she was promptly flattened to the ground.

  A gnarlix pinned her in place, its saliva pouring hot over the back of her head. Arden tasted blood and dirt. The other beast bellowed a victorious roar.

  That roar turned into a confused yelp when Arden deactivated her Disguise. Now free, she flew to the ceiling. She kicked her feet for added propulsion. The brief combat had damaged her wings, her aerodynamics thrown off.

  The gnarlixes followed her, desperate to taste the blood dripping from her side. Arden let it flow to entice them further.

  “How are you doing in there?” Minette asked.

  “How do you think I’m doing?” Arden answered through gritted teeth.

  “On your right!”

  Arden dove, narrowly avoiding becoming a gnarlix snack. She rose back up, sharp as an arrow in her ascent.

  Minette chose that moment to say the thing Arden desperately wanted to deny. “You’ve taken 80 damage already and you’ve got a Bleed debuff! You’ve got to be more careful.”

  [UNITS -SELECTED-

  Nickname: Arden the Endless Terror

  Name: Dungeon Pixie 4

  Unit Type: Dungeon Pixie

  Health: 220/300

  Mana: 144/200

  Debuffs:

  - Bleed: currently leaking health points due to injury.]

  “Don’t select me right now! Eugh!” That was so violating.

  “Run them around in a circle until they get tired.”

  “That’s the worst strategy ever!”

  “Then think of something better fast. Watch out!”

  Arden’s attempt to barrel roll away from the leaping gnarlix ended in her getting swatted to the ground. Her face took the full 20 points of damage. The room spun, her vision hazing.

  Her sight blackened m
omentarily when one of the creatures slapped its hand over her back.

  She screamed, something snapping inside of her. Arden cast the first hallucination she could think of.

  The next thing she knew, she was in the Dungeon Heart room. Minette’s orb was a cold black and purple with worry. Arden spat blood from her mouth. Being here for a moment would allow her to regain some of her mana.

  Once they realized the hallucination wasn’t real, the monsters would come barreling through the rest the dungeon. Arden didn’t have a lot of time to sit around, especially considering her Bleed debuff. She pressed her hand against her wound. It hurt to breathe.

  “I wish I could do something,” Minette said. “If only we had a Monster Lounge.”

  “No. No if onlys.” She sounded congested. “Just keep Influencing the peons. Do whatever you can to hurry them up.”

  Arden touched her nose and pulled her fingers away fast like they’d been scalded. Her broken nose probably wasn’t the only thing broken in her body. A full damage assessment would’ve killed the rest of her dwindling morale, so she refrained from checking herself out any further.

  “Tell me when they’re on the move,” Arden said.

  “They’re still trying to catch your Hallucination. Wait, is that a wet food plant?”

  “I was in a lot of pain.” That was her only explanation for it. “Still am.” In her turmoil, Arden had cast a hallucination of an upside down wet food plant. It hung from the ceiling, just out of the gnarlixes’ reach.

  A workercat entered the Dungeon Heart room. At first, it seemed like it didn’t notice Arden. It tossed its pile of shinies at Minette, then turned on its furry heels. When it caught sight of Arden, though, it cried in fear and fled the room.

  “To be honest,” Minette said, “I’d run away, too, if I didn’t know you.”

  “How sweet of you,” Arden said. She closed her eyes, basking in Minette’s warmth.

  “It looks like they’re moving. You’ve only got 143 health points and 98 mana points. Are you sure you can do this?”