The Trash Tier Dungeon
Page 15
To her, the cap was more like small days basin. Arden stuck her face into it, swallowing as much of the healing medicine as she could. It affected her instantly. The more she drank, the more her health rose. New skin formed to replace what she’d lost.
“You can take your time,” he said.
Arden made sure to keep one eye on the man as she drank. When she was finished, she asked, “Are you some kind of cultist?”
Earlier, she had considered robbing him blind after leaving the corpses, but he intrigued her. Plus, he showed her some kindness. Not having to carry on a conversation with half of her body melting off was something she appreciated very much. She held off on judgment of this man’s death.
“I’m a religious man and my religion is you,” he answered.
The hollow-eyed look he gave her when he said that unnerved her a bit, but she figured the Trash Tier Dungeon could use a zealot of his caliber. It was probable that his devotion led him to his predicament with the bandits.
“You know I’m not actually the dungeon, right?” Arden asked. “I’m her pixie. If you don’t know what that is, think of me as her personal assistant.” She shook her head. “Scratch that. I’m more like a co-manager. We run the dungeon together.”
“A dungeon pixie! I’m not an adventurer so I don’t know everything, but I know you’re an important part of what keeps the dungeon running.”
“Sometimes, I’m the only reason why she’s running.”
“I owe my life to you, too, then.” Smokey bowed his head.
“What are you doing here, anyway? Are you from Kazzipur?”
“Originally. I moved here to be close to the dungeon.”
“What’s so special about this dungeon to you? You’ve read the Dungeon Reviews Digest, haven’t you?” No one had written about their changes yet. As far as the majority of the province was concerned, the Trash Tier Dungeon was still living up to its namesake.
“I don’t read that,” he replied. “Isn’t that a magazine for adventurers? I never went to adventuring school and earned a license to do that.”
“Pretty sure you can still be an adventurer without a license,” Arden said.
“License or no license, I’m not one. I’m simply a believer in this dungeon. I always have been and I always will be.”
Arden racked her brain, trying to remember if Minette had ever mentioned someone like Smokey. She supposed since he never ventured inside, she probably didn’t know about him.
Smokey wiped tears from his face. “I was worried when the light of the dungeon went out. It’s been so dim. I thought maybe I wasn’t believing hard enough, that it was due to my own failure, but now I see that I was. I was believing! That was a test of faith, wasn’t it?”
“I don’t know about all that,” Arden said.
“This dungeon’s been my home away from home. When I was small, I got lost in this forest. I couldn’t find my parents and I was starving. Back then, the dungeon was new. People didn’t understand it. But they knew to stay away from it.”
“But you, for whatever reason, decided to approach it.”
“I was desperate. Yes, I approached the light of the dungeon’s portal, not knowing any better. I was welcomed inside. There were plants there. Food. A warm place to stay. And once, I caught a glimpse of a cat-like creature. It was far fatter than that one, though.”
Smokey must’ve been talking about one of the workercats.
He continued, “I don’t know how long I stayed there. The dungeon kept me safe. Without me wandering into it, without it accepting me, I would’ve died in this forest. I am here today because of this dungeon. After it took care of me, and I regained my strength, I left and returned back to Kazzipur. Everyone had thought I’d died.”
Minette never told her anything about this random person. His story still checked out. It sounded like something she would’ve done unknowingly. If the Warp Gate had been close enough to a farm and Monster Lounge, then it all made sense. Judging by her original designing skills, he was probably in one of those rooms out of fifty.
“My parents kept a close eye on me after that. I had to sneak into the forest to find the dungeon. When I returned, the food and shelter rooms were gone. I thought maybe I had done something, like I wasn’t appreciative enough of its gift from before. It was then that I realized my true calling. I painted whiskers on my face.”
“Whiskers on your face,” Arden repeated.
“Yes, I embodied the spirit of the dungeon. I became a preacher in its honor. I wore the ears and the makeup. I recruited followers for the dungeon. There were many of us. When things were at their worst in Kazzipur, our numbers were at their best.”
“Tragedy tends to do that. People become desperate for something to believe. It gets their minds off of things.”
Arden’s observations were based on something similar happening in her old dungeon’s town. Their cult never amounted to much more than hard-core fans, but perhaps the Trash Tier Dungeon’s cult could be steered in a more useful direction. Bugsy hadn’t wanted to interact with them very much due to his superiority complex.
“Unfortunately, Kazzipur still has its problems. I haven’t been there in the sometime. Our numbers didn’t hold. We lost our people to other belief systems and to good old apathy. People gave up our dungeon. They assumed that it lost its spirit and became an empty ruin. No one believed what I’d seen.”
“Did any of you see the long corridor leading to nowhere?”
“I’ve seen a few of the dungeon’s variations. I never went in that far, though. A dungeon has to invite you in. I haven’t been there recently, either. I wanted to pray to strengthen the dungeon’s light. That’s what I do. If I’m not eating or sleeping, then I’m praying.”
“Or eating mushrooms and pissing into jars,” Arden said. She shuddered.
“It gives me a bit of money. From living in the forest, I acquired immunities to certain hallucinogenic mushrooms. Very few people can consume them without getting sick and potentially dying. I act as a filter.”
“In other words, people drink from your fountain so they can have fun without the awful parts.”
“Yes. If this is unfavorable to you, I will end this immediately.”
“I couldn’t care less about that.” Arden thought about how they could use this guy. “I know some ways you could curry favor with the dungeon. We’re dealing with a hefty thorn in our sides at the moment. There’s a rogue named Robin, a mage named Jennifer, and a warrior who may or may not be named Buff Dude. They’re not from Kazzipur, but they and their guild are lurking around and hassling our dungeon.”
“I’ll kill them.”
“No, they’d probably sooner kill you if you tried. What we need is for you to gather information about what they’re doing. And, while you’re at it, you can bring us back stuff from Kazzipur. Basically, we want you to be our eyes and ears on what’s going on in the human world.”
Smokey nodded so fast that Arden thought his head would pop off. “I can do that.”
“You do that and I’ll arrange a meeting between you and the dungeon herself. You’ll be welcomed into the dungeon. Just don’t get yourself killed while gathering this information. Be careful and remember to think. What you did with the whole slamming down the glass thing? Don’t do that.”
“I was fed up, sorry,” Smokey said. “I’ll do as you say.”
“And get yourself a trim if you can afford it.”
“If I can. My main source of money kind of fried to a crisp. Tyson may be running to the head boss about this, too. I may have created quite the predicament for myself.”
“If you can’t do it, then you should fall on your machete. Take it right to the throat.”
“No, I promise I can do it.” Smokey shot up like a spear. “I’ll do everything you ask of me. The dungeon is mine to obey.”
“Good, I think I like where this is headed. We’ll find a way to deal with your piss jar peddler problem if anyone gives you trouble.
Leave that part to us. You’re protected.”
“Thank you.”
“Get to Kazzipur and then come back with the information that we need. Namely, does Robin’s whole guild plan on attacking us? And, even more importantly than anything else, we need you to procure plenty of loot.”
“I will find you the finest silver.”
“Oh, it can be complete crap. We just need stuff. In fact, I’m going to be taking most of the stuff here. Do you want anything for your journey? You’re better off running away than fighting, by the way. Okay, on second thought, I’m going to take everything. I’m going to need the blanket, too.”
“That’s fine with me. I trust in your absolute judgment.”
“Then, spin around, bend over, and clap your hands.”
Somehow, Minette ended up with a follower so devout he was willing to do anything that her pixie said.
Arden grinned. “Great, you completed our good luck ritual. With this, you should be able to survive the journey ahead. For being a good sport, I’ll let you keep the blanket, after all.”
“Thank you, Dungeon Pixie.”
“It’s Arden the Endless Terror. The proper name of our dungeon is Minette Ashes Max Felixia. Minette, for short. We look forward to meeting you soon.”
Chapter 12
Upon Arden and the catten’s return to the dungeon, the pixie and the dungeon both spoke over each other.
“Do you know a Smokey?”
“We found glowyrms!”
Of course, Minette’s announcement took higher precedence than Arden’s. “Where? Switch me into the Overview mode,” she requested.
The workercats found a room containing nests of glowyrms. It was located near an off-shoot of the maze they created around the Warp Gate room. The creatures wiggled along the ground, feeding off of nutrients within the dirt. True to their name, they cast a warm blue glow. The slick shine on their bodies hinted at their slimy texture.
Harvesting them took longer than collecting shinies. Due to their heft and size, the peons could only carry three on each trip back to the Dungeon Heart room. The glowyrms’ stubborn adherence to the ground also slowed down the process. As soon as they felt a workercat’s paws upon them, they flattened out. They literally had to be peeled to be lifted.
Fortunately, that was as far as the glowyrms’ defenses went. They didn’t come with acidic skin or sucker teeth to bite anyone who disturbed them.
“It’s been slow, but we’ve already got three of them in our supplies,” Minette said.
“How long did that take?” From what Arden could see of the workercats currently in the glowyrm room, they were a struggle to harvest.
“We only found the room a short while ago. I guess it’s taken…almost all of the time you spent away? And it’s a rather long distance away from me, so we might be waiting a while for more glowyrms. While you were gone, I changed my mind about them digging so close to the Dungeon Heart room. We lucked out.”
“We’re going to need 100 glowyrms if we’re going to make that Spiny Lynx Dwelling,” Arden said. “Having ranged units will make dealing with mages much easier.”
Minette paused to double check the resource costs. “And then it’ll be 100 shinies and another 50 glowyrms on top of that to make a spiny lynx.”
“They’re an investment. Maybe in the meantime we can take a look at more traps from the Trap Workshop. We might be able to afford some spear chuckers.” Arden grew giddy at the thought of the adventurers being eviscerated before they even knew what hit them.
“There’s so much we can do. It gets overwhelming sometimes.”
“Yeah, it’s a major change from only having workercats to look after. Speaking of which, do you remember ever looking after someone named Smokey?” In her excitement over the glowyrms, Arden had almost forgotten to repeat her earlier question.
“I don’t think I remember anyone with that name.”
“Scrawny, kind of sick looking, has a beard? He probably didn’t have one when you first met him. He eats mushrooms and people drink his piss, apparently. I think he was a child when he first wandered down here. Human years are different from ours. I forget the exact conversion of human to pixie years, but humans spend a lot of time in the child phase.”
“He says he knows me?”
“He came back after a few years, but you were different. I’m guessing he came back for a visit after you restructured things. Anyway, he had a cult running in Kazzipur for a while. They believed in you.”
“I had a cult?” Her voice was bright with disbelief. “People in the town cared about me? None of my other pixies ever told me about that.”
“It doesn’t sound like the cult existed for very long. But, Smokey, your ardent follower never stop believing in you. In fact, he was camped out in the forest, praying for your return. He noticed how weak your surface level portal became.”
“Wow.”
“I’m leveraging his devotion. He’s on a mission to Kazzipur. The plan is for him to gather information on Robin and his guild. He’s also coming back with some things we can use as loot,” Arden said. “His reward is a visit with you.”
“Oh, no. What if I say something bad and he hates me?”
“He’s fanatical. You probably can’t do anything wrong in his eyes.”
“I don’t even remember what I did to make him like me so much.”
“Maybe seeing him will jog your memory a bit. He said that you fed him and kept him safe. Whether it happened incidentally or not, you gained yourself a devotee in the form of Smokey. We might even be able to use his pee in a trap.”
“That would be unpleasant. Yikes,” Minette said.
“It depends on how much we can get out of him and if its hallucinogenic properties persist for a long time.”
“Mmhm. We wouldn’t want to milk a man for his pee and get nothing out of it.”
“Did you have to put it that way?” Arden recoiled in disgust. “Anyway, let’s bring back the Traps menu.”
[TRAPS MENU:
Pits
Offensive Spikes
Blades
Bludgeons
Projectiles
Snares
Magical
Other]
“Are we dropping the snare trap plan?” Minette asked. “I thought we were going to go with that.”
“Let’s take a look at every basic trap that’s available without any prerequisites first.”
Skipping the Basic Pit that they had already purchased, Minette pulled up the other menus for Arden to look over.
[Name: Basic Spike
Category: Offensive - Spikes
Type: Mechanical
Placement: Floor (Default)
Health: 25
Armor: Light (1)
Cost: 25 shinies
Requirement: Basic Spike Blueprints (100 shinies)
Description: A cluster of four small spikes spanning 2 square footage. Spikes operate on a timer mechanism, first appearing flat and then rising up every three seconds. More advanced spikes allow for better variations and control in deployment time. Each spike potentially deals 3 damage.]
[Name: Basic Swinging Blade
Category: Offensive - Blades
Type: Mechanical
Placement: Ceiling (Fixed)
Health: 45
Armor: Light (1)
Cost: 50 shinies
Requirement: Basic Swinging Blade Blueprints (125 shinies)
Description: A crescent-shaped blade hanging from a chain. This trap can only be attached to the ceiling. The chain swings in a side to side movement, helped along by its own momentum. A full hit from the Blade does 10 damage.]
[Name: Basic Anvil
Category: Offensive - Bludgeons
Type: Mechanical
Placement: Ceiling (Fixed) & Floor (Default)
Health: 10
Armor: Light (1)
Cost: 25 shinies
Requirement: Basic Anvil Blueprints (50 shinies)
Description: The Basic Anvil is triggered when an adventurer presses or steps on its hidden button. When that happens, a weight will fall from the ceiling. The Basic variation does 5 damage.]
[Name: Basic Darts
Category: Offensive - Projectiles
Type: Mechanical
Placement: Wall (Fixed)
Health: 20
Armor: Light (1)
Cost: 35 shinies
Requirement: Basic Darts Blueprints (85 shinies)
Description: A fast-moving projectile that launches from the wall. The mechanism fires two darts, one after the other. It is triggered by proximity. Darts deal a low amount of damage (3-5), but can be upgraded to inflict various status effects on their targets.]
[Name: Basic Spears
Category: Offensive - Projectiles
Type: Mechanical
Placement: Wall (Fixed)
Health: 35
Armor: Light (1)
Cost: 40 shinies
Requirement: Basic Spears Blueprints (100 shinies)
Description: A slow-moving projectile that launches from the wall. The mechanism fires a single spear. It is triggered by proximity. The Basic Spear deals 10 damage to a struck target.]
[Name: Basic Leghold Snare
Category: Snares
Type: Mechanical
Placement: Floor (Fixed)
Health: 45
Armor: Light (1)
Cost: 30 shinies
Requirement: Basic Leghold Snare Blueprints (100 shinies)
Description: A metal-jawed trap that snaps closed when stepped on.]
[Name: Basic Net
Category: Snares
Type: Mechanical
Placement: Ceiling (Default)
Health: 5
Armor: None (0)
Cost: 10 shinies
Requirement: Basic Net Blueprints (50 shinies)
Description: When the floor directly below the Basic Net is stepped on, the Basic Net will fall from the ceiling and cover the target. It is weak and easy to slice through, but can potentially slow down adventurers.]