All This Time

by Stacy Lane

  “That’s great. I’m really happy for you, Della. Paul’s fantastic.”

  “He’s everything to me. I couldn’t live without him.”

  I send her a serene smile, grateful that good people in this world can find everlasting love.

  “I, ah,” she starts. Stopping to release a breathy laugh off her chest. “Having you show up today set off so many feelings I tried to bury. Paul and I weren’t going to do the whole bridal party thing since it’s just a simple “I Do” at home, but we talked, and I feel like you choosing now of all times to return was fate. Or something like that.” I can tell she’s nervous by how she continues to pause and laugh at herself. Facing her, having set the utensils aside long ago, I remain quiet as Della formulates her words. “What I’m trying to get at is I want to see more of you and Brielle. I’m afraid you’re going to leave here tomorrow and not return for another six years. So I’m using my wedding as an excuse to make sure that doesn’t happen. Will you be my maid of honor? Or bridesmaid since you’ll be the only one.”

  Tears of relief spring to my eyes. We have a lot to cover, and there are a ton of issues we’ve left unsaid, but Della’s instilling that we have reasons and time to figure it all out. Because she’s right. There was always a good possibility I would have left here tomorrow and put more than physical distance between us again.

  “If you want me up there beside you, then I’ll be there.”

  She smiles wide. “I really do.”

  “Do you have a dress yet?”

  “No. But maybe I’ll drive up to you. Tampa malls will have a much better selection than what we’ve got around here.”

  “Then it’s a date.”

  Della runs to check on the kids since they got quiet, and that’s never a good sign.

  With the beans cooking in the oven, I’m standing back at the island counter mixing the pasta together when she comes back in.

  “All good?” I ask.

  “Yep. Those two get along so well.” Della takes the same seat as before, refilling her wine glass, as well as mine. “Oh. I forgot to ask how it went with your dad.”

  “Really good, actually. Him and Brielle instantly bonded. I still can’t get over how great he was with her. I can’t remember him ever being that devoted with me. I guess it was just luck that he was sober when chose to finally visit.”

  Her brows lift. “Yeah, he shocked all of us when he finally sobered up.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well he wasn’t surprised when the rest of us figured out you left, so we all assumed he already knew. It wasn’t long after that when we started piecing it together. Mom would run into him at the grocery store, the girls that worked at the diner told me he was coming in more and more for breakfast and dinner, just things he never ever did. And all without the scent of alcohol hanging off him.”

  I shook my head. “I’m confused. Are you saying he’s been sober?”

  “Yes,” Della drags out, watching me carefully.

  “He said he had a run to go on. I thought he was sober because of that.”

  “Liv, your Dad has been sober for five years.”

  “Why wouldn’t he tell me that? He let me stand there all judgy like some prude.”

  “Maybe it’s his way of getting in your good graces first. You have an entire childhood of shitty moments he can’t make up for.”

  “Yeah. Maybe,” I mumble.

  “I’ll grab the kids. Have them wash their hands before eating. They were touching the turtle.”

  I smile and nod, but my thoughts are already drifting back to my dad.

  He was so different with Brielle compared to me when I was her age. With this new knowledge, I have a fresh point of view. There was no work he was getting ready for. I wouldn’t be surprised if he hasn’t had any over the road runs for a while now with the way the grass was overgrowing around the wheels. And still he let me believe the worst of him.

  My heavy head falls into my palms. One day in this town and the simple life we live in Tampa seems much further away than a two hour drive.

  I can’t say I regret this trip though. Brielle is happy, and that’s the number one priority.

  Seeing Della again has given me a piece of myself I neglected to realize has been missing all along.

  When I left everyone behind it was to start a life of my own with my baby. To find myself and who I wanted to be away from this small town life where nothing was going good for me. My friends were moving forward and I was stuck.

  Fast forward six years and I have my baby girl and our wonderful little life together. But friends were missing from it. Family, whether blood related or not, weren’t a part of our lives. I had been so stuck on figuring it all out on my own that I missed the gaping hole in my chest where loved ones should have been.

  Brady wasn’t at complete fault for my solitude, but I found myself cursing him anyway.

  “Damn you, Brady,” I whispered to myself.

  Buried in my own head, I didn’t hear Paul come in from the patio area.

  “Never liked that guy.”

  My head snaps up. Paul lifts an unapologetic shrug.

  “Luke’s brother, but there’s not much good I can say about him. I know the Bennett brothers hold some magical charm over this town. Brady has everyone fooled.”

  “They still have that going for them, huh?”

  “Oh yeah.” Paul sets the plates of steaming grilled goodies along the counter, next to the pasta. “Brady’s gone often times, but I swear the women can smell him the moment he gets back. It’s like a frenzy when the brothers go out together.”

  I shake my head, amazed and not surprised at the same time how not much changes in a small town.

  Pulling the baked beans out of the oven, he watches as I stir the gooey deliciousness.

  “Luke has a hard time admitting it, but he lets his big brother hold some of that charm over on him as well.”

  “I don’t give a shit what he pulls on everybody else. All I care about is my daughter. If I have to protect her from him, I will at all costs.”

  “Coming from someone who has selfish, shitty parents, I couldn’t agree with you more.”

  Tears coat the back of my throat, but I hold them down. This has been the only downfall of this trip so far. Brady’s been out of reach in my mind since I concluded he was never coming back to help me.

  I feared running in to him. Then I felt gratitude knowing he wasn’t in town. Now I had reasons, a foundation to build on again here, to return and visit my dad and friends. Along with the good, there is still the bad.

  And if Brady eventually meets his daughter, only to break her heart by acting the part of daddy dearest and leaving once again, I’ll break him.

  The kids and Della return downstairs, and we all sit together and eat. There’s laughter and jokes and kindness and it’s the best night I’ve had for a long time.

  Brielle has made a special bond with Ethan, one I’ve never seen her have with the snooty kids from school.

  I was listening intently to Paul discuss the kind of tech him and Luke run at their business, and didn’t hear Bri and Ethan until they were shouting loud enough to get every adults attention.

  “Can Bri come on Spring Break with us? She’s out of school at the same time as me.” Ethan directs his question to me at first, then looks at his parents for back up.

  “We haven’t made plans yet, Mommy. Can we?”

  “You’re more than welcome to join,” Paul says to me, while glancing over at Della for assurance.

  “Yeah. Totally,” Della nods. “We’ll have plenty of room on the RV.”

  “You have an RV?” I ask.

  “No. I wanted to go buy one, but someone won’t let me.” Paul eyeballs Della.

  “Because you don’t need another toy,” she chuckles at him.

  “We’re renting one for a week. Heading a couple hours south to a campsite. They have a huge water park minutes away.”

  “Wow, that’s ver
y generous, thank you.”

  “So we can go, Mommy?” Brielle smiles brightly up at me.

  “No promises yet, but we’ll try.”

  I didn’t want to rely on Della and Paul to actually allow us to stay inside their RV. That meant I needed to call around to some hotels nearby. With it being Spring Break, and last minute, the nightly rates were not going to be cheap.

  “There’s plenty of space for you two, I swear,” Paul says, using a persuading tone in his voice.

  “I’ll get back with you on it. I took that week off, but something has supposedly come up and Connor says he needs me at work.”

  “What?” Brielle nearly screeches.

  “Don’t worry, Bri. I’m getting out of one way or another, but I may have to go in for just a little.”

  Della informs me they are going for the entire seven days, which we’re welcome to join, but even if we go for only a few days they’d be happy to have us. My concern before committing, as usual, is the need to check my finances first. I planned on us doing something regardless, but this will undoubtedly be more than I originally planned for.

  As great as the generous offer sounds, I can’t help my pride wanting to refute them. I’ve been on my own for too long, and I’m not used to accepting hand outs anymore. I need time to sit on it, alone, at home and weigh our options.

  But…

  It does sound like a lot of fun.

  Not only for Brielle to have a friend to enjoy it with, but me as well. I’m deprived of friendships, and adult interaction in general.

  We finish up dinner, it’s late, and I’ve given up all hope on Luke showing up. Brielle is extremely disappointed, but I make promises, along with Della’s help, to make sure she meets him soon.

  I begin to clean up, discarding paper plates, but Della shoos me away. Her and Paul gang up on me, reiterating that I’m their guest.

  Since I promised Brielle a mommy-daughter night at the hotel filled with candy and movies, we start saying our goodbyes.

  Brielle gets her picture with Ethan like she wanted to. I hug Della, and then Paul. My back is to the front door. Paul is lecturing me again to go with them on Spring Break when the heavy oak swings open, causing a gust of wind to blow through my hair.

  I turn around and meet a set of eyes that’s haunted my dreams for years.

  Intense, molten, dark brown eyes.

  “Liv,” Luke breaths my name.

  Chapter Five

  It’s instantaneous, and my heart reacts straightaway. Squeeze. Tug. All that remains to do is release. But nothing is ever that simple. Releasing the heart leaves a person vulnerable.

  Luke is more handsome than I ever could have pictured him from the past. The man standing in Della’s open doorway is overwhelmingly hot. Blue fire kind of hot. Invisible in the light, and too dangerous to cross even in protective gear. Something I should remember later when I begin to weaken and fall for Luke Bennett all over again.

  Although, I’m not so sure anymore if I ever got over him in the first place.

  He did not run off with Della to start a new life, as Brady explained it. He was not Della’s fiancé, as I learned hours ago. What Luke is, though, is a danger to my ovaries.

  Look away. Look. Away.

  I can’t. He’s whispered my name like a prayer. Our eyes are locked with steel.

  Luke’s always been tall, but he was made up of lean muscle as a teen. Now, however—I just want to point out this shouldn’t be legal, because I’m positive it’s not good for my health—he’s tall and broad and stretching his well-made cotton shirt to the limits with the amount of muscle he’s packing.

  He’s a giant. A big, sexy, bewitching giant.

  And his hair? I…It’s…Don’t even get me started on his hair. The long, straggly strands I used to hate? They’re gone. He cut it. Luke’s hair is short. I’m going to leave it at that for fear of compromising myself any further than I already have.

  There’s a new awareness of tugging on my person, but this time it’s my hand.

  “Mommy,” Brielle says in a tiny voice to my left.

  Hearing her call my name snaps me out of the spell I had been under.

  Luke drops his gaze, noticing everyone standing in the foyer, and meeting Brielle’s eyes for the first time.

  “They were just on their way out,” Della speaks from behind me. “You almost missed them.”

  He steps inside the house, shutting the door, and the heat grows hotter as he comes another foot closer.

  “I came as quick as I could. I shut my phone off while I was out on the boat.”

  “Ethan, tell Brielle and Ms. Liv good night,” Paul says to his son.

  I look over at him. He smiles fondly, and says goodnight, giving us privacy.

  “They’re only here until tomorrow.” Della’s voice sounds more like a warning for Luke. I can’t put a finger on why, but something about the way she said that irritates me.

  “Glad I got here in time then,” he grins.

  Christ Almighty. If he keeps up with that crap I won’t be able to look at him at all.

  “So you’re Brielle, huh?” He turns his warm expression to her, bending at the knees in front of us. “That’s a beautiful name. I’m Luke.”

  My daughter turns her small frame into my leg, wrapping an arm around it, but keeping eye contact with him.

  “I know who you are.”

  “I’ve wanted to meet you for a very long time.”

  “You have?” she asks in wonder.

  “Of course. Your mommy and I used to be great friends.” He sends those chocolatey eyes back up my way, and I melt.

  “And because you’re my uncle.”

  “I am,” he says firmly.

  “I like your hair short much better than long,” Brielle replies flippantly.

  She’s definitely my daughter.

  I snort, a weird mix of trying to hold back my laughter and failing as it slips through my nose and mouth.

  “She just saw a picture of you from before. When you had the long hair,” I explain.

  “Ah,” he smiles, standing up.

  “Can I have a new photo of you?” Brielle asks.

  “Wow. I looked that bad, huh?”

  She giggles. “No. I’m taking pictures of everybody. I have one with my grandpa, and Ethan.”

  “All right. Where do you want to take it?”

  “The flowers are pretty.” She points at the table in the center of the foyer.

  “That’s our spot then.”

  As I’ve done all day long, I pull my phone out. Luke kneels back to her level. They pose together, his palm wrapped around her back, and I snap the picture. His smile pulls out soft dimples in his cheeks. The bright colors of his fishing shirt contrast the dark tan of his skin.

  Della lingers behind me, remaining quiet but her presence is very large.

  “Do we have to go right now, Mommy? Can we stay a little longer?”

  “Uh,” I stammer. “Bri, it’s getting late and we’ve had a very long day. We’ll see everybody again soon.”

  “What time are you leaving tomorrow?” he asks me.

  “Checkout is at ten.”

  “Let’s meet for breakfast. Wherever you want to go.”

  Brielle’s face lights up.

  I inwardly groan.

  “Sure.”

  “We always do Sunday breakfast here,” Della comments.

  “Where are you staying?” Luke asks, speaking over Della.

  “Holiday Inn in Port Charlotte.”

  “There’s an IHOP down the road. I’ll meet you there.”

  “Or we can all eat together here,” Della says, sounding on edge.

  “We can do the group thing some other time,” he replies to her, standing his ground and making it clear he doesn’t want an audience tomorrow morning. “I’ll walk you out.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  What else could I say? No, Luke, please stay here where it’s safer for me because I’ll be walking aw
ay.

  “Paul makes a killer Sunday breakfast if you change you mind,” Della says to me with a forced smile.

  It’s easy to see she’s not happy with Luke singling us out. Or she’s being nosy and wants every detail Luke and I will share at our reunion. It’s likely both.

  “Thanks, Della.”

  We walk to the door and she follows. I’m expecting her to join us on the walk to my car, but I glance over my shoulder when I hear their whispering. As Brielle and I descend the front steps, Luke hangs back with one hand on the door knob blocking her exit. He’s speaking to her in a quiet tone I can’t hear, and then all but pushes her back inside the house, shutting the door firmly closed.

  I glance away when he lifts his head up.

  I’m a mess. My nerves have been shot since waking up this morning. But it all slowly fell back into place. Della welcomed us with kindness, my dad’s behavior was a major surprise, and tonight’s dinner had been a lot of fun. And I met a couple new people. I resigned the notion of having to face Luke and Brady. Though, both men brought up complete opposite feelings inside me.

  We would have been leaving here tomorrow with a pleasant denouement.

  Only now emotions were stirring wild. The initial reaction I had to Luke scared the crap out of me. I was ready to run again. But this time around he seemed determined to follow right on my heels.

  My car is parked at the base of the stairs. The dark, lifted truck parked behind mine must belong to Luke. It’s a very nice truck, and I smile a little to myself. He’s come along way from the poor kid who had to share a vehicle with his party-boy older brother.

  The sun had gone down hours ago. Although it is earlier than my typical bed time, this day has emotionally exhausted me and wouldn’t doubt if I passed out the moment my head hit the pillow.

  There is much Luke and I could discuss, yet I feel like we shouldn’t at the same time. Maybe it’s best if all is left in the past. I know the truth, I’m sure he does too if Della told him anything important in those messages. And what he doesn’t know she can fill in. He’s Brielle’s uncle and they’ll see each other again next time we visit.

  Problem solved.

  I groan.

  Luke’s not going to let me have it that easy.