The things we do for love.

by Anderson, Abigail

  “How dare you...” Luke grabbed her arms and pulled her towards him. She felt his hard lean body through her clothes. She made a noise in her throat. He was way too close to her. She could see the pores in his skin. She also noticed a tiny scar that sat just under his left eye. She could feel the rise and fall of his chest beneath her hands.

  “I don’t want to fight with you Cassie but I’m not going to lie to you either. You are partly responsible for how Faye behaves.” Luke said, his voice dropping taking on a seductive tone.

  “I have tried. You have no idea. I even slapped her yesterday. I have never hit her, never. But after you left we got into an argument and… and…” She shook her head. “Do you have any idea how ashamed I feel at having resorted to that?”

  “She pushed you too far. There is only so much one person can take. I understand more than you realise believe me, especially after today.” He said now, his voice sounded soothing.

  “I don’t understand.” She frowned at him.

  “No you probably don’t.” He agreed. “For you it’s about being needed isn’t it.”

  “Are you accusing me of actually liking the fact that Faye is the way she is?” the arrogant s.o.b.

  “Yes. You keep telling me that you don’t need anyone when really you are crying out for some attention.”

  “That’s not true.” She told him.

  “Yes it is and you know it. The only time that you get that attention is when you are needed to fix things.” He told her.

  “Huh, no. I am perfectly okay.” She tried to deflect. “And I don’t need anyone, or anything. I am perfectly fine on my own, by myself.”

  Cassie tried to pull herself free from Luke’s grip but he held her firm. His fingers biting into her flesh through her jacket.

  She did not want to listen to anymore of his cruel words. Luke’s face became blurred as unshed tears gathered in her eyes. She wanted him to let her go so that she could get away from him. She tried to tug herself free but he held her firm.

  “But you are not okay Cassie.” He said. “You have spent all your time hugging your unworthy sister, hugging your mother. Who hugs you Cassie? Your sister leans on you, your mother leant on you. Who do you lean on Cassie? Your sister needs you, your mother needed you. Who do you need Cassie?”

  “Let go of me.” She shouted at him. She was angry now and she didn’t want to be so close to him. She tried to tug herself free, she thrashed her body but Luke only closed the gap between them even further.

  “Cassie...” Luke began huskily but then he stopped abruptly. Cassie found herself being pulled tight up against him. His arms wrapped themselves around her as he brought her close and hugged her.

  “What are you doing.” She asked him as alarm beat out a rhythm around her body. She held her body tense and rigid against him.

  “Allowing you to lean on me.”

  “I don’t need –” She began but he cut her off.

  “Yes Cassie, yes you do need. That’s the problem.” And they fell silent as Luke held her in his arms.

  “I don’t need.” She shook her head, desperate to deny it.

  “There’s nothing wrong with needing. It doesn’t make you weak.”

  “I am just fine.” She tried again.

  “Is that how you want your life to be… just fine.” Luke asked her. “Don’t you want more than that? I know you do. Everything about you is crying out for more.”

  “No.” she tried to deny, the word wrenching painfully from her throat.

  “Too late, I can hear you.”

  “No.” Panic set in. Luke’s head drew close to hers.

  “I heard you in that court room.” She shook her head mutely. She felt exposed now, vulnerable. It had been a long time since she had felt that.

  “Let me go.” She heard the emotional wobble in her voice.

  “Every day that you sat there, I heard you.” Luke’s voice dropped to a soothing whisper.

  He rocked her, slowly, to and fro as though she were a child. A sob tore from her throat and she tried to keep her defences up but then something strange happened.

  Slowly, Cassie found herself relaxing until her body became less tense and she leant into him further. Her head came down and to her horror she snuggled into the crook of his neck.

  Luke’s arms tightened around her in response and she felt his jaw come to rest at her temple as he held her.

  It felt good to be held. She had always been the one to do the holding. She had always been the strong one. The one to always be in control of everything. “You see. You do need.”

  Cassie whimpered, unable to say anything. A painful lump had formed in her throat and she could feel tears spilling down her cheeks. “Everyone forgot about you, didn’t they Cassie? I won’t forget about you.” He promised her.

  “Please, let go.” She said in a strange softly spoken voice that did not even sound like it came from her.

  Luke moved his head to look down on her. His hand came up to brush away tears from her cheek and his lips drew into a thin line.

  Before Cassie could do anything Luke lowered his head and his lips captured hers. Her lips parted on contact and her knees gave from under her. She made a noise, somewhere between acceptance and trying to fight it.

  She could taste the salt on his lips. She could taste him. She could hear the roar of her blood as it pounded in her ears and the musky male scent of him filled her nostrils satisfying her lungs need to absorb him.

  She clung to him as he devoured her lips. His hand tangled in her hair at the back of her head and she arched her back pressing herself closer to his hard male muscle.

  Luke’s other hand ran up her spine and then back down past the small of her back and his hand pushed her closer to him. She gasped as she felt his hard arousal against her.

  Cassie’s mind gave up trying to think and she succumbed to the earthy sensations that washed over her body in delicious teasing waves. “Cassie.” Luke’s voice, raw with emotion called out to her and she murmured in response.

  Luke lifted his head a little so that he could look down on her face. She opened her eyes to look into his eyes. She could see the hunger there. she knew that he wanted her and she shivered.

  “I…”

  “I’m sorry you had such a bad start in life. You don’t have to be brave all on your own anymore.” He promised as he lowered his lips to hers once more.

  She felt the tip of his tongue slide across her parted lips and she heard a moan and then realised that it came from her. Luke’s tongue dipped in further inside her mouth and back out again, before dipping in deeper still.

  She felt her own tongue move, chasing his, sliding over his. His fingers at her scalp massaging, releasing the tension that had sat there for the past few days.

  “No, please.” Cassie tried to save herself.

  “Stay.” He said as he trailed little kisses down her cheek and then down the column of her throat. “Just stay. There is nothing else you need to do.”

  He came back to her mouth. His teeth capturing her bottom lip. His mouth sucking on it. She groaned as she felt the throb such an act produced between her legs. This was getting out of hand very quickly. She had to stop this.

  She stiffened and felt his body tense in response. Luke’s hand tightened in her hair but it was already too late. Already reality seeped back into her consciousness and the spell had been broken.

  Mustering up every ounce of strength she had she pushed at his chest and, much to her surprise, she managed to free herself from him.

  Luke let go reluctantly and before Cassie could think about what she was doing she had taken a step back from him and her hand came up and she felt the sting as she heard the resounding slap of her hand meeting his cheek.

  She stepped back again horrified. Horrified at her reaction to Luke and horrified at then resorting to slapping him. She put her hands to her own cheeks.

  “I...” she had been going to say that she was sorry but the thunderous lo
ok in Luke’s eyes stopped her instantly. Instead she turned tail and ran as fast as her legs could carry her. Even when she caught Luke’s voice calling her she did not stop until she was almost home.

  Chapter 19.

  When Luke arrived back at his home late that afternoon, Vera was waiting for him in the dining room. Great, that was all he needed. A circling vulture. He sighed heavily.

  “What’s up?” she asked as soon as she saw him. “You look like you’ve been told its black Friday and blue Monday all in one.”

  “I’m not even sure I know what that means.” He complained to her.

  “Never mind what it means. What happened?” Vera asked him.

  “What happened with what?”

  “Oh no you don’t. With Cassie, what happened?”

  “How do you know whether I managed to get to see her?” He asked her.

  Vera walked around the table to stand in front of him and then she reached over and grabbed something between her finger and thumb from his shirt collar and then held it up between them. It was a single strand of hair.

  “O, would you look at that. Cassie’s hair colour.” And then she dropped it. “So, what happened?” she asked again. See, a vulture, Luke decided.

  “I messed up that’s what happened.” Vera gave a grimace as she studied his face for quite some time before she said.

  “I knew it. Why did I think I could trust you to get it right?” She threw up her hands and dropped them again. “Do I have to do everything myself. I mean honestly.”

  “Calm down.” Luke told her. “You are not getting any younger. You’ll give yourself a stroke or something.”

  “Now you listen here buddy. I could still run rings around you.” He was informed.

  “I have no doubt.” Luke said.

  “So how did you mess up?”

  “Well, I…”

  “Didn’t I tell you not to talk about the halfwit sister?” Vera fixed him a stern stare. She could look quite fierce when she wanted to.

  “Yes you did...” he agreed. “... and I tried.” Luke defended himself.

  “You obviously didn’t try hard enough. Did you?” Vera shook her head and rolled her eyes as she picked up the napkins from the table.

  “Obviously not.” There was no point in arguing with her. Luke had many years’ experience dealing with his housekeeper. Which was a pity.

  “What is the point in asking for my opinion if then you don’t listen to it.” She walked over to the dresser, opening a drawer and putting the folded napkins in it before closing it up again.

  “I wasn’t aware that I actually asked for your opinion.” He commented dryly. “You offered it to me unsolicited, if you will remember?” He reminded his housekeeper.

  “Huh... Pish, Posh, Tosh.” She replied instantly and began departing from the room.

  “Does that mean you are going to refrain from giving me advice on this subject from now on?” Luke asked hopefully.

  “You should be so lucky.” She told him. Just as Vera reached the door she slung over her shoulder. “Don’t forget that charity thing tonight it’s at Seven so you’ve still plenty of time to get ready.” Vera stepped out into the hall beyond the door, leaving it ajar.

  Luke groaned loudly. That was tonight? He had agreed to it weeks ago to impress his new would-be partners. He really didn’t want to go. “Well you have to go.” Vera shouted from the hallway as if he had spoken aloud.

  It was uncanny how Vera managed to do that. Luke was often left wondering whether she could actually read minds.

  Sighing wearily, he ascended the stairs to get changed. As he went he cast his mind to Cassie and what he needed to do to salvage something from the wreckage of today.

  What he needed was… He thought for a moment, and then admitted defeat. He had absolutely no idea what he needed.

  “You know what you need?” Vera’s voice came from the bottom of the stairs and he stopped and turned to look at her expectantly.

  “What is it I need?” he asked her.

  “A plan.” She told him.

  “Is that it. I need a plan.”

  “What? I have to think of everything for you?” she tutted very loudly and began to walk away but then stopped and turned back. “Apart from talking about her sister what else did you get wrong?”

  “I kissed her.” Luke admitted before he had a chance to stop the words and he groaned inwardly, why had he said that? What was wrong with him? Hadn’t he learnt by now not to encourage his housekeeper?

  “How was that wrong? Wasn’t that the idea?”

  “Well… yes… just.”

  “Yes.” Vera raised her eyebrows expectantly.

  “Not yet. You know, we need time to get to know one another.”

  “You’ve known each other for months.”

  “Staring at each other across a court room is hardly getting to know each other.” Luke pointed out.

  “You have spoken too her many times.” She pointed out.

  “They haven’t exactly been conversations have they.”

  “She spoke and then you spoke and then she spoke some more to which you replied. How would you define a conversation?”

  “Put like that then yes we have had a conversation.” Luke reluctantly agreed with her.

  “How old are you?”

  “Thirty-three. What does that have to do with anything?”

  “How old is she?” Vera continued.

  “Twenty-seven, twenty-eight. What does that have to do with anything?”

  “Well, the two of you aren’t getting any younger you know. Time waits for no man, or woman come to that and her biological clock is ticking away.” She told him.

  “Vera.” Luke protested. Vera put her hands on her hips.

  “Vera nothing.” She told him sternly. “This place needs kids like I need a foot rub at the end of a hard day at work. I mean honestly. If you don’t hurry up now, then you will have lost your chance.”

  “Okay, I think you need to slow down a bit. We haven’t even gone out on a first date yet and already your talking kids.”

  “Slow is for tortoise.” She pulled a face. “And you’re not a tortoise are you?”

  “Vera…”

  “Do you love her?”

  “Vera, please I have to get ready for the fund raiser thing.”

  “Do you love her?” Vera asked again, more firmly, louder.

  “Yes.” Luke sighed heavily. “Yes.” He said again in a quieter voice.

  “Then go get her.” And Vera turned and left Luke to go upstairs and get ready for his fund raiser.

  Vera made it sound so simple. But, Luke knew that it wasn’t. At the beginning Cassie had seemed so strong, having to deal with that sister of hers. She had held her own in arguments with him.

  Though he had also seen something else in Cassie, she had been careful not to let that side of her show. Until today.

  As much as Cassie put up a front of being brave and strong and even independent. And a front was all it was. Today he had seen and heard a different Cassie.

  A Cassie who was still a frightened little girl. A little girl that had sat helplessly watching her mother drink herself into a stupor and having to deal with all of the repercussions that went with that. Today that little girl had stepped forward and had shouted and screamed and stamped her foot demanding to finally be heard.

  What must that have been like, to see someone you love drink to the point where they had no understanding of what they were doing. Having no understanding of how it was affecting two young, impressionable, vulnerable girls.

  And Cassie had had to deal with that day after day and with another young child, her sister. A sister, who by Cassie’s own admission, had been a little more delicate than herself.

  Luke was able to read between the lines. Faye had obviously found coping with life in general difficult. Watching those kind of events unfold around her would have aggravated that.

  Luke had his suspicions that she was bi-polar
and probably had a borderline personality disorder as well. Both had gone undiagnosed, both left untreated. It wasn’t going to go all by itself.

  If anything it was only going to get worse. They were both lucky that Faye had not turned to self-medicating, either with alcohol or drugs as so many others do.

  He had to make Cassie see that Faye needed help. That Faye needed to get the treatment she so desperately needed. That to do so was not an admission that she couldn’t cope, or that she had failed her sister.

  The problem was how did he manage that. Cassie was almost content in her role as official mop up after Faye counsellor. It was all she had known for so long, getting her to relinquish that would be difficult. But he had to.

  Luke walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He would think about it some more later, now though he had a fund raiser to go to.

  Chapter 20.

  Cassie had not been home for more than ten minutes when her phone rang. She ran to answer it hoping that it would be Faye letting her know that she had landed safely and that all was well. But, it wasn’t.

  “Oh. It’s you Adam. What’s up?” She said sadly.

  “You sound upset that it’s me.” he exclaimed.

  “No of course not.”

  “Are you sure, there was a definite twinge of something in your voice.” Adam sounded as though he were pouting. Which, he probably was.

  “I am fine. I am not upset.”

  “Well, as long as you are sure?”

  “No, sorry, I was hoping that it was Faye.” She said as she sat down on her couch and with her free hand she rubbed at her forehead.

  Cassie tried hard to disguise the fact that she was upset and also the real reason for it. She had cried most of the way home and she knew her cheeks were streaked with tears and her eyes were all puffy.

  Luckily Adam couldn’t see that through the phone. Which was just as well as she knew that she looked a sight. He could, however hear her voice and she did not want to fend off a hundred questions that she knew her friend would throw at her.

  She was too emotional, too vulnerable and too raw right now to deal with all that.

  “Oh She is not going to phone you for weeks yet and, when she does, she will apologise and say she forgot and then you will pretend to be angry at her for a little while and she will then say something to make you feel guilty. You will back down and tell her that it’s okay and not to worry her pretty little head about it.” Adam informed her. “And all will be forgiven without so much as a thought to how worried you have been for weeks.”