Always His (Crazed Devotion #1)

by C. A. Harms

  “One night’s all I need,” Keegan added, which only made me roll my eyes. Jimmy caught the gesture and snickered.

  “Let it go, Keegan, you’re only embarrassing yourself.” I turned and came face-to-face with Ryker. I jumped in surprise, and he encircled my waist with his arm.

  “Hey, baby,” he whispered just before leaning in and placing a gentle kiss against my lips. The gesture caught me completely off guard. Chills covered my arms and neck almost instantly.

  He pulled back entirely too quick, and I followed him with my lips, which made that cocky smirk appear again. The distance between us gave me time to clear my head, and I looked back over my shoulder and found all three guys at the table watching us curiously. Before the end of the night, everyone in town would know Ryker had just staked a claim, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Yes, we had slept together, and yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have let things go that far, but it was too late to go back. But before we made things official and threw it in everybody’s face, I’d hoped we could take some time to figure things out ourselves. I really wasn’t sure what we were myself. That and I was still angry about how he left me. It would take a whole lot more than one amazing round of sex to make that anger dissipate.

  “Well son of a bitch, if it ain’t Ryker Daniels.” I closed my eyes tightly at the sound of Keegan’s voice from behind me. “Tyler’s gonna love this shit.”

  The mention of Tyler immediately had me on the offense. “He doesn’t have a say-so when it comes to me and my life.”

  I faced Keegan as he stood, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. “No, but he does have a say-so on who his daughter spends time with.”

  I stepped closer. “He lost that chance when he chose drinking and women over her. He doesn’t give a shit about her, and you know it.”

  “We’ll see” was all he said before he tipped his beer up and finished it. I watched in silence as he turned around and walked from the bar with his phone in his hand.

  When Ryker placed his hand on my shoulder, I tensed and spun around to face him. “What the hell were you thinking?”

  He arched an eyebrow, and that damn cocky smile pulled at the corner of his lips. “I was thinking I was happy as a pig in mud when I saw you over here.”

  I didn’t return his smile. Instead, I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for him to stop being a smartass.

  “Fine,” he said. “When I saw Keegan messing with ya, it pissed me off.”

  “So you decided to stalk over here and add fuel to the fire?” I asked.

  “No, I decided I watched him flirt long enough.”

  Ryker had always been such a possessive man. He didn’t seem to understand the shit he’d just started. Once Keegan found Tyler and fired him up, it would only make my life harder. I didn’t want to hide what Ryker and I were, but breaking the news to Tyler in a different manner would have maybe made things a little easier for him take.

  Standing there in the center of the bar, I decided arguing wouldn’t get me anywhere. And an audience wasn’t going to help matters any, either.

  I had busied myself for the last two hours, avoiding Ryker’s stares and the tension building between us. I knew we had to talk, but this wasn’t the place or time.

  “He looks like he lost his best friend.” I didn’t even look at Elle when she spoke. She obviously knew what had happened; I think everyone in the bar was talking about it. Arab was a small place where everyone knew everything about one another’s lives. They fed on gossip, and Ryker and I just gave them a new topic for a while.

  “In his defense, he held out as long as he could,” Elle added.

  I was busy making drinks for a couple girls, who, I might add, kept eyeing Ryker. But each time I looked up, I only found him watching me. When I placed the drinks in front of them, I set the glasses down just a little harder than I intended, and they jumped in surprise. Had they been paying attention instead of drooling over the man that had the ability to irritate me and work me up all at the same time, they wouldn’t have been so jumpy.

  “That’ll be six fifty,” I said without smiling.

  The blonde pulled out a twenty from her bra. Yeah, it took everything I had not to roll my eyes. “Can you send another bottle to the guy on the end?” she said as her gaze floated back toward Ryker. “Tell him it’s from us.” She giggled. Yep, actually fucking giggled.

  I took the twenty from her hand and added the cost of a Coors to her bill, then gave her the change. Holding back a few choice words I would have loved to sling her way, I pulled out a beer and popped the top.

  Ryker watched me approach the other end of the bar and just stared at the bottle when I held it out.

  “From the girls at the end,” I said in response to his questioning stare. “I think they’re both willing to allow you to thank them for their gesture of kindness.”

  He took the beer from me as he looked past me to the girls. He offered a tilt of his head and that damn panty-melting smile of his. “I bet neither of them would mind if I kissed them in front of a group of people,” he said without looking back at me.

  He was trying to get under my skin, but I refused to let it work. “I don’t think there’s much they wouldn’t let you do to them in front of an audience. Maybe you should go talk to them and find out.”

  “Nic,” he said as I walked away without looking back.

  About an hour before closing, I went to the back to get a few bottles of liquor we were running low on. As I climbed up the stepladder to grab the tequila from the top shelf, I was startled by the sound of the door shutting behind me. I whipped around so fast I almost lost my balance and grabbed on to the shelf to steady myself.

  Ryker grabbed my waist and held me securely. “Damn, baby, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  Taking in a deep breath, I grabbed the bottle and began to lower myself down the ladder, with Ryker still unnecessarily holding on to me.

  “I’m fine,” I assured him.

  “Okay.” He released me and stepped back. “Do you plan on ignoring me forever? Or is this only gonna last until the place closes, and then you’re gonna unleash that Nikki fury on me?” He bit his lip to fight his smile, but failed to.

  “I was planning on ignoring you tonight, tomorrow, and maybe even the next day. You just had to use those girls to dig at me,” I said as I pushed past him and walked toward the door.

  I’d only made it a few feet when he wrapped his arms around me from behind, halting me immediately. “You know I hate when you’re mad at me.”

  “You didn’t care during the five years you were gone.” I didn’t try to fight against his hold, only gripped the tequila bottle tighter.

  “You couldn’t be more wrong.” His mouth was only inches from my ear. A shiver threatened me, but I did my best to hide it. “The guys I toured with got sick of my bitching and whining about you. There was nothing easy about letting you go.”

  He turned me in his arms so he could look me in the eyes. “If I had it to do over,” he began with a look of determination on his face, “I would have convinced you to go with me. I would have asked you to marry me, and damn it, Tori would be my daughter.”

  Tears filled my eyes because the idea of him being my little girl’s daddy was a dream I’d had ever since she was born.

  “But I messed up. I thought I was doing the right thing, and I couldn’t have been more wrong. I can’t change the past, but I can damn sure change the future.” He grazed my jaw with his thumb. “I want you and Tori in my life, every day. I’m sorry if that bothers you, but I can’t hide my feelings for you. I won’t.”

  “I don’t want to—”

  He pressed his lips against mine in a consuming kiss, and I sagged against the door behind me as he stepped even closer.

  When he pulled back I was breathless.

  “I don’t give a shit about Tyler or Keegan, and I couldn’t care less who knows how much I love you and need you. Fuck, Nic, I don’t care if every asshole in
town thinks I’m a pussy, you own my heart, sweet girl. You always have. I was just too damn stupid to hold on to something great when I had it.” He brushed away a tear that escaped from my eye. “But I want it back.”

  He paused as he slouched enough to bring his six-foot-two frame more to my level. “I want you and Tori, and if I’m given that gift, I swear to you I will never let you go again.”

  It had been three days since I laid my heart on the line. Three days since I felt more vulnerable than I ever had in my life. Three days since I waited with a knot in my gut for Nicole to accept my love or choose to break me.

  The not knowing could fucking bring a man to his knees.

  For a guy that had fought to protect his country, you would have thought confessing his love for a woman would have been simple, only it was anything but easy. But when she looked up at me and said those four words, I swore the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders.

  “Please don’t hurt us.”

  I vowed in that moment I would always protect her heart and Tori’s. Whatever it took, no matter who I had to fight along the way, they would feel loved and treasured.

  After working an eight-and-a-half-hour shift, I walked to my truck, wanting nothing more than a shower and a pillow. After climbing into the cab of my truck, I opened the glove box and got out my phone, smiling at the text message that waited for me.

  Nicole: Tori’s making spaghetti for you.

  That sweet little angel looked at me like I hung the moon, and she made my heart ache with the kind of love that could make a grown man melt.

  Me: Do I need to bring anything?

  I started my truck while holding my phone, waiting for her response as I sat in the parking lot while dusk set in.

  Nicole: Not unless you want something special to drink, I don’t have any beer.

  Alcohol was the last thing on my mind. My earlier intention of going to bed early quickly faded. I was now alert and ready for a night with Tori and Nicole. I hoped one day I would be able to go home to them every night. But I had to pace myself and remember she was still hesitant after what I’d put her through. We were slowly working through this, and I’d wait as long as she needed.

  After a drive that felt like it took hours, I pulled up in front of her apartment building and grabbed my bag from the passenger seat. I had been staying at my uncle’s place because the drive back to my parents’ was just too long, but tonight it looked like I would be staying here.

  Walking up the steps, I could smell the aroma of garlic, and my mouth began to water. I had lived on fast food the last few days. My uncle was the ultimate bachelor and never cooked, so I’d grown accustomed to swinging through the drive-thru for something quick on the way to his place.

  Just as I was about to knock on the door, I heard a car door slam behind me. I looked back over my shoulder to find Tyler walking toward me with a pissed-off look on his face as he glared at me. I knew that look.

  Tyler and I had never been friends, more like competitors. Throughout high school we were always trying to outdo one another in everything. And when I got Nicole, it was just another jab to his ego. It wasn’t even about him being in love with her too. He was angrier that I’d got something great because he didn’t like to see me happy.

  “Why the hell did you even come back?” he asked as I walked back down the steps toward him. If I could avoid involving Nicole in this mess, I would. She didn’t need this, and it was exactly what she was worried about.

  “I think we both already know the answer to that question,” I said as I reached the bottom of the steps and came face-to-face with him. “But for the hell of it, I’ll answer you.” I looked back over my shoulder at the front door of Nicole’s apartment to be sure she hadn’t overheard us. When I turned back to Tyler, his jaw was ticking in irritation. He was actually trying to intimidate me, but all I wanted to do was fucking laugh in his face.

  “I came back for my girl,” I stated.

  He laughed and shook his head. “Your girl?” He squared his shoulders and stepped in closer. “She stopped being your girl the minute she crawled in my bed.”

  He was going in for the kill, that was for sure.

  “The only name she screamed that night was mine. If she was your girl, then why’d she fuck me?”

  I fisted my hands, wanting nothing more than to beat his fucking face in. “You have about two seconds to back the fuck up before I move you myself.”

  “What’s wrong, Ryker, don’t like the visual?” he taunted. “It was my kid she carried for months,” he pushed even more. “They’ll never be yours.”

  “You really are a piece of shit, Tyler. You always have been, and that’ll never change.” I stepped closer, and he took a step back. “Nicole has always been mine. One night and one huge mistake on her part will never change that. And being a father takes a hell of a lot more than knocking some innocent girl up. You ain’t no father.” His face darkened with anger. “That little girl deserves a hell of a lot more than you’ve ever given her. She’s not some tool you can use to get closer to Nicole. She’s innocent in this entire mess, and you’re a heartless son of a bitch if you don’t realize that.”

  “Ryker?” Nicole’s asked from behind me. “What’s going on?”

  I didn’t turn around to face her. “Tyler was just leaving,” I said as I stared at his sorry ass. “Isn’t that right.”

  His nostrils flared as he looked between Nicole and myself. “You and I need to talk,” he said when his gaze locked on her.

  “Whatever you gotta say to her, you can say right now.” If he thought I would allow him within a few feet of her without me there too, he was dumber than I thought.

  Nicole didn’t argue. She remained silent as we waited for Tyler to speak. Our united front only pissed him off more. After glaring at me for a few more moments, he turned and stormed off toward his truck. His tires squealed as he drove off.

  I watched as Ryker lay on the couch and Tori stood at his side. She pointed to the tattoo on his arm. “What is this?” she asked.

  “That’s to help me remember someone I lost, a friend,” Ryker told her as he touched it.

  “I lost a toy once, but Mommy found it under my bed,” Tori told him, and it made me smile.

  “What’s that say?” she asked as she pointed to the verse on his chest. My own chest tightened as I remembered what it said. I had never realized a few words could mean so much, and seeing them tattooed on his chest had been my breaking point.

  “It’s about your momma,” Ryker said. “It explains just how much I love her.” He looked up from Tori’s face to meet my gaze and winked.

  And as if that wasn’t enough to make me weak in the knees, what happened next nearly made me crumble to the floor. My little girl crawled onto Ryker’s chest and curled up, wrapping her arms around his neck. He held her close and buried his nose in her hair.

  In that moment, the last little shred of doubt lingering in my mind faded.

  I moved across the living room and knelt at his side as he watched me in silence. Tori snuggled into him a little closer, and her eyes sagged as she fought off her exhaustion.

  Ryker removed a hand from her back and wrapped it around my waist, his fingers gently curling into my side.

  I laid my head on his chest next to Tori and kissed the area just over the tattoo. “I love you, Ryker,” I whispered, and he kissed my forehead. “My heart has always belonged to you.” No matter the distance between us or the mistakes we made, I had always been his. And I knew that was the way it always would be.

  “C’mere,” Ryker said as he motioned for me to join him in the center of my living room.

  Tori had been in bed for close to an hour after she passed out on Ryker’s chest. He’d carried her to bed, tucked her in securely, and even placed a gentle kiss to her forehead. I watched in awe through it all as I fell just a little harder.

  I walked toward him as he held his hand out to me, and once I was close enough, he laced our f
ingers together. He raised our joined hands and kissed mine, then curled his other hand around my waist. The way he was looking at me made my heart race unbelievably fast.

  “I haven’t been this happy in so long,” he said as he began to sway with me in his arms.

  I looked up at him, and he dropped his head to bring our mouths closer. “I want more nights like tonight. With you and Tori,” he whispered, his gaze still locked on mine.

  “She adores you.” I smiled, thinking about how much Tori had warmed up to him without hesitation.

  “I adore her too,” he confessed. “She amazing, just like her momma.”

  I ran my hands through his hair and laced them together behind his neck, then pulled his mouth toward mine. I began to tremble as he slipped his tongue between my lips and took over the kiss.

  “You can always make me lose my mind,” he said. “You consume me with just a kiss.”

  He slid the hand gripping my waist to my ass and pulled my body tighter against his. Heat filled my stomach as his erection pressed against it while he deepened the kiss and began backing me up.

  “What are you doing?” I asked breathlessly.

  “Taking my girl to the couch for a little make-out session.” He smiled against my lips. “It’s been a hell of a long time since we did that.”

  “What are we, sixteen?” I asked as I allowed him to guide me backward.

  “We are definitely not sixteen anymore,” he said as he lowered me to the couch and covered my body with his. “These curves,” he moaned. “They’re much more defined than they were all those years ago.”

  “After a baby, things never are the same,” I said, looking up at him as his eyes scanned over me appreciatively.

  “All these sweet curves drive me fucking wild,” he confessed as he ground his hardness against me. “They got me thinking all kinds of dirty thoughts.”

  I parted my legs and allowed him to slip between them before wrapping them around his waist.