Taming Mr. Flirt

by A. M. Madden;Joanne Schwehm

  “What the hell? What lovey dovey shit? You just came over for dirty sex based off my suggestion. This isn’t exactly the making for a Hallmark movie.” I closed the distance between us and forced her to look directly into my eyes. “If you think I’ll be professing eternal love tomorrow, it won’t happen. I’m not looking for a wife, Vanessa. I’m not even sure I’m looking for a fuck buddy. What we stumbled on needs to continue. It’d be a damn fucking shame if we let our chemistry go to waste. Trust me, that shit doesn’t come easily. Sexually, we’re good together.” I kissed her firm and hard. “That’s just what this is. No more than that. Are we cool?”

  I thought I saw skepticism in her eyes, but then she quickly nodded and said, “As a cucumber.” Her hands traveled down my abs and popped the button of my jeans. “Speaking of…”

  In the way she dropped to her knees should have validated the little spiel I made a few moments earlier, yet something about the gesture caused more than just lust to course through me. What that was, though, I didn’t have a clue. Plenty of women had been in the same position Vanessa was in, looking up at me, perfect lips parted and ready to take me. Yet, the only thing on my mind at the time was how hard I’d come down their throats.

  The difference was now I felt a pang in my chest that I didn’t understand. Based on her one-eighty last night, and again today, it was obvious there were many complicated layers to Vanessa Monroe. The sudden urge to find out what they were started to consume me.

  Chapter 8

  Vanessa

  We stood in my bedroom, staring at ourselves in my full-length mirror. “We are so going to win tonight,” I purred.

  Cassie tightened her red Supergirl cape around her neck. “You better believe we are. I can’t wait to see Brae as Wonder Woman. And from behind, with the two of you in head to toe black latex, I can’t even tell you two apart. Meanwhile, Brae and I are practically naked and it’s freezing outside.”

  Des smiled through her Batgirl mask. “Use your cape to keep you warm, and your legs look amazing.”

  Cassie cocked her hips back and forth. “They do, don’t they.”

  She really did look amazing. Hell, we all did. “Plus, the cold does wonders for tits.” I cupped my boobs for emphasis. “Unlike the male anatomy that needs to worry about shrinkage.”

  The three of us laughed. “We can’t lose. Do you hear me, ladies? I refuse to buy the guys drinks for a month. Do you know what our bar tab would be? Between Jude’s Belvedere and Luca’s Macallan, we’d be in debt in one night,” Des spouted. “The only one who would be our saving grace would be Kyle and his cheap Canadian beer.”

  “Well, I don’t give a shit what they drink, like Des said, we can’t lose tonight. Flirt with the judges,” I suggested. “We have tits, the guys don’t.”

  “What if they’re female judges?” Des asked.

  “Always need to throw a wrench in things don’t you, counselor.” My phone pinged with an alert, ending our conversation. “We’ll worry about that later. Right now, our Uber is waiting downstairs.”

  As soon as we stepped outside, a gust of frigid wind blew Cassie’s cape in the air. “Holy shit!” she screeched, reaching behind her for the red satin material.

  Hoots, hollers, and whistles came from costume clad New Yorkers clogging the streets of SoHo. Yeah, we so got this.

  The heavy base vibrating outside Dispatch was a good indication that the party was in full swing. Cassie pulled our tickets from her utility belt and presented them to the bouncer who stood next to a man dressed as a cop.

  With an adorable smile and a flutter of her eyelashes, she ran her index finger down the officer’s arm. “I love your costume.” She used the same finger to trace over his nightstick. “This is so big… and hard. It’s so realistic.” Cassie flattened her hand over his badge, and in her best Jessica Rabbit impression finished with, “Officer Johnson.”

  Des and I stared at her in awe. What the hell was she doing? The NYPD blue did not look amused as he crossed his arms, and in an authoritative tone said, “It’s department issued.”

  “Holy shit, you’re a real cop?” Cassie’s eyes grew wide. “Um… thank you for your service, Officer Johnson?”

  I wrapped my fingers around her wrist and pulled her away from the door and through the dimly lit room. “Seriously, Cass, just because we’re with an attorney, we don’t need legal trouble.”

  She shrugged. “I thought he could be one of the judges.”

  “We need drinks, STAT. If that’s your idea of sexy flirting, you need to work on your delivery.”

  Des added, “Good call. Brae just texted me and they’re on their way.”

  The sea of costumes parted as we made our way to the bar. Roaming eyes followed our path with more whistling like we had heard earlier echoing around us.

  “Everyone is staring at us,” Des shouted in my plastic-covered ear.

  “Good.” I turned to witness for myself the many eyes shamelessly ogling over our bodies. The black latex left nothing to the imagination, showing every one of our curves for all the world to see. My eyes connected with those of a tall gorgeous cowboy. He lifted his beer with a tip of his hat and a seductive wink.

  I smiled back, my attention then stolen as a Batman and a Riddler crossed the crowded bar, coming right for us. That was most definitely Kyle, I’d recognize that walk anywhere. Turning back toward the bar, I said, “Girls. I think I see them. Let’s have fun and see if they recognize us.”

  With purpose, I leaned over the bar knowing damn well my black shiny ass was on display. Catching the bartender’s attention, I ordered us a round of lemon drop martinis just as Luca’s deep voice said, “You cheaters.”

  Cassie giggled and turned while Des and I remained facing the bar. “We have no idea what you’re talking about,” she responded with another giggle.

  “Sure you don’t,” he said in a snide tone.

  “Anyway, how did you know it was us?”

  “Cassie, it’s you in a Supergirl costume,” Luca teased. “But those two look pretty identical from behind. We know it’s not Brae, so one is Des and the other is Vanessa.”

  “But who is who?” Des responded without turning. The urge to turn around consumed me, but I remained still, ignoring the conversation behind us.

  A firm hard chest suddenly pressed into my back, one hand settled on my hip, and pulled me harder against a firm bulge. I should have pushed him away, resisted him… but I didn’t. When warm lips rested on my covered ear and said, “Hello, Catwoman,” I held back a moan.

  I could feel every inch of him against every inch of me. “You’re sure I know you?” I purred.

  “I could pick this ass out in a line-up,” he admitted into my latex-covered ear. His hand moved around and up the center of my torso until it rested right under my boobs. In spite of the constricting latex that had my internal temperature elevated all night, goose bumps broke out all over my body. “I couldn’t wait to see what you were going to be wearing tonight. But damn, never could I have imagined you looking just as hot in an outfit than you do out of it. Turn around.” When I hadn’t moved, the hand flat on my abs slid down and settled with a pinky resting on my clit causing it to pulse beneath the plastic fabric.

  Only then had I turned until we were nose to nose. The slippery nature of my costume allowed his hand to smoothly slip around me and come to rest right on my ass. My crazy platform heels bringing me closer to his height. “Is that a cup I feel over you?”

  “Knowing you were here tonight, and me walking around in nothing but a green leotard, would be asking for trouble.”

  My eyes held his for a moment before I dragged my line of sight down his torso, stopping at the bulge, and moving back up. “The Riddler is very apropos for you.”

  “What Riddler? I can assure you nothing about me tonight is a joking matter.”

  “So, how did you know it was me?” I repeated what Cassie had asked earlier.

  “Like I said, I recognized your perfect
ass.” He kissed my exposed jaw before resting his lips over where my ear was beneath the mask. “Then I recognized your scent.”

  “I’m not wearing perfume tonight.”

  “I’m not talking about the kind that comes from a bottle, Catwoman. Remember, it’s what I do.” He pushed his pelvis into me. “My body seems to have a specific reaction to the pheromones you release… not to mention you look fucking hot, Vanessa.”

  “Thanks, Riddler.”

  Luca cracked up behind Kyle. “Haha, The Riddler.”

  Kyle twisted his head and deadpanned, “You’re an asshole. I told you this would happen.” He focused his gaze back on my face, specifically my lips. “Do you see question marks all over me? No. Want to know why? I am the Green Lantern. Proud member of the Justice League.”

  “Who?” we all said in unison.

  Luca chuckled once more. “I told you to say you were The Hulk.”

  “Fuck you,” Kyle said just as I spotted Superman towing what could only be described as Laura Ingalls sporting a Wonder Woman costume. The royal blue skirt she wore hung to her knees.

  What the fuck? Soren!

  “Oh my God. You guys look so awesome!” Brae exclaimed over the amplified sounds of chatter around us. The smile on her face fell when she saw my livid expression as I stepped around Kyle. “What?”

  I grabbed her wrist in the same way I had Cassie’s, and through clenched teeth said, “We need a picture before they start judging costumes.” Brae had to practically run to keep up with my stomps through the crowd. “Des, get me a pair of scissors and meet us in the ladies’ room.”

  “Scissors?”

  “Shut it. We need to do emergency surgery on that ridiculous outfit you’re wearing.”

  Her head dropped as she surveyed her costume. “Why?”

  With a purposeful huff of pissed off air, I let go of her wrist and fished my cell out of the top of my boot. My fingertip practically cracked the glass as I jabbed until I produced an image of the actual costume I had ordered. Thrusting the phone in her face, I said, “This. This is what you were supposed to be wearing.”

  Her eyes sprung open. “Oh, that’s hot.”

  “Yeah, you goob! I told you we were hot superheroes. How did you end up wearing this 1950s version of a Wonder Woman costume?”

  “Jude,” she said with a firm shake of her head. “Ugh, that man. I knew I should have gone with him to pick it up.”

  “Asshole!”

  Des appeared, yielding a large pair of scissors. “Scalpel?”

  I snatched them from her and continued our journey into the ladies’ room. “Out!” I barked to a cheerleader and a Minnie Mouse loitering in front of the mirror.

  “Bitch,” one of them said, but followed my demand upon seeing the huge scissors.

  Wordlessly, I sliced the skirt up the seam and assessed how high I should go. When I ducked my head under her skirt, Brae said, “What the hell are you doing?”

  “Hush.” I ran the scissors around her utility belt, leaving her in just the leotard. I’ll show you to mess with me, Soren. The top half still remained the same in a customary Wonder Woman bustier. But instead of that ridiculous tablecloth she had around her hips that hung to her knees, she was now left with the tiny royal blue star-covered brief.

  The scraps of satin pooled around her red fuck-me pumps. At least she wasn’t wearing frumpy flats. “Why don’t you have on the red boots?”

  “It looked stupid with the skirt. I thought these shoes were better.”

  “Well, duh.” I stood back to admire my handiwork with a devilish grin. At seeing it, Brae twisted to look in the mirror.

  “Oh my God! I can’t go out there looking like this!”

  “The fuck you can’t. This is better than that circus tent you had on as a skirt. You could have sheltered the entire Justice League under that thing. Your husband just made things worse for you. The costume I picked out at least had a tiny skirt on it. Now you’re as clothed as a Rockette.”

  “Jude is going to kill you.”

  “He’ll get over it. You match his star tattoos. Besides, all I have to do is remind him that life in prison means no Brae.”

  Her scowl softened. “Aw, that’s so sweet.”

  “I have to say, Brae. You have a great ass,” Desiree said enviously. Three pairs of eyes focused on her butt. “Seriously, have you been doing squats?”

  “Yoga… and Jude’s strict regimen of sex, sex, and more sex.”

  “You poor thing.” Cassie placed her hand on her chest in a dramatic fashion. “Although, all the guys looked as though they’re doing something right. Did you notice the muscles protruding from their costumes were not of the foam variety?”

  Des used her hand to fan herself. “I will say, they don’t lack in the looks department.”

  “Enough talking. We have a contest to win.” The four of us created a circle, each with a hand in the middle. “Use your tits and asses in the way God intended.”

  We walked out, spines straight, shoulders back, and didn’t get very far when a shirtless fireman stepped into our path. “I found my winners right here,” he shouted, drawing the attention of every male in the vicinity.

  “Be sure to write us down on your ballots,” I responded. “We sure would appreciate it.”

  Many others added their opinions as we made our confident journey back to the bar. Well, except for Brae, who looked nervous. That was until she saw the circle of harlots surrounding her Superman.

  “What the hell?” Her hands went to her hips, she stuck her boobs out, and in my head I heard the Wonder Woman theme song.

  Upon seeing us, Jude turned into Superman before our very eyes as lasers shot from his eye sockets to Brae’s bare legs. He grumbled, “Where the hell is the rest of your costume?”

  “Look here, Clark.” I poked my finger at the S logo on his muscular chest. “This is your fault. If you stuck with the costume we ordered, your wife wouldn’t be practically naked. Besides, she looks beautiful.”

  “She always looks beautiful,” he said, staring directly into her eyes. My heart flipped at their lovebirds display, yet again. What the hell were these two doing to me?

  Ignoring how Soren just managed to make me swoon, I quipped, “You’re now the proud owner of a Wonder Woman costume. You’re welcome.”

  “So, we get to keep this?”

  Brae looked down and smirked. “Considering she massacred it, yeah.”

  A devilish grin spread over his face. “I like that idea.” Suddenly, his expression turned livid as he focused on something behind us. “Fuck this,” he grumbled. Without warning, he lunged for her wrist, pulled her into the space between his spread legs, and wrapped his cape around his wife. His eyes then connected with a poor sap dressed in a skeleton costume and he barked, “Move along or I’ll break your bones.”

  “Jesus Christ, Jude. Instead of causing a scene, why don’t you, Batman, and The Riddler buy us a drink?”

  “I’m not The Riddler!”

  A scantily dressed platinum-blonde whore rushed over to him. I had no idea what this bitch was supposed to be with a white corset that barely covered her fake boobs, thigh-high stockings, and a frilly skirt. The ridiculous large cane she held in one hand could have meant she was Little Bo Peep.

  “I love the Green Lantern,” she announced, running her hands over his pecs. “Green is my favorite color.”

  “Well, today is your lucky day.” Kyle threw us a sideways snarky smirk before focusing on Little Ho Peep.

  She took his hand and said, “Let’s dance.” And as she pulled him onto the dance floor, I wanted to beat her with her Ho Peep cane.

  Chapter 9

  Kyle

  Less than a minute into the dance and I wondered why the hell I accepted. I actually considered apologizing, admitting I made a mistake. I’d rather be dancing with Catwoman. Until in my peripheral I saw Catwoman being led onto the other end of the dance floor by a tall cowboy.

  Instead of soft ruf
fled material beneath my palms, I should have been gripping smooth rubber. And not the kind that went over my cock, although that would be later. What I desired was the kind of latex used for a Catwoman costume. The kind that showcased every curve, every crevice, and every dip of one of the most perfect bodies I’d ever been balls deep in.

  Oblivious to my thoughts, Bo Peep seemed content as we swayed to the slow music the DJ provided. Every time I looked down, my eyes were met with an abundance of cleavage. She had the type of tits men dreamt of fucking, and yet they weren’t having any effect on me.

  “I’m Amber.” Bright blue eyes stared up at me.

  “Hal.” I blurted out The Green Lantern’s real name.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Hal…” When she repeated my name, I had to fight the urge to laugh. Inching her body closer to mine, her seductive drawl accompanied by her hands roaming up my chest should have turned me on. Instead, I saw the pussy I wanted dancing with a cowboy.

  My eyes tracked his hands traveling up and down Vanessa’s body. With each passing touch, his fingers got closer to parts of her I had enjoyed on several occasions. It was when his thumb skimmed close to her tits that I saw red. Various scenarios on how to stop him played in my mind. Dammit! I shouldn’t care. Why did I care? I had a hot blonde ready for the taking, but all I could think of was that I didn’t want that asshole’s hands on Vanessa.

  Right before Tex’s hands curved around her ass, I twirled Amber with an outstretched arm, catching Catwoman’s attention. She turned and looked at my dance partner with disdain. That had to mean something, right? What—I didn’t know, but fuck if I wasn’t going to find out.

  Vanessa’s eyes then caught mine and held. Our partners forgotten, the bar noise went unheard, while a silent battle of wills continued. She was the first to look away because the prick dancing with her said something. It was then I realized my partner had also said something to me.

  “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

  Amber’s gaze ping-ponged between Vanessa and me. Her brows scrunched up right before she patted me on the arm. “Thanks for the dance, Hal,” she said and walked away without an explanation. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what it was that miffed her ruffles.