Locked in Silence_Pelican Bay [Book 1]

by Sloane Kennedy

  Except Gentry.

  I didn’t see him, which meant he was likely in the shelter within his enclosure.

  Which I supposed was, sadly, his new normal routine.

  The bear had been doing a little bit better since the attack and I attributed that to Nolan. In the week before his father’s death, he’d been playing his violin for the stressed animal twice a day. Nolan hadn’t been so sure it was helping, but I’d seen a difference in the bear. When Nolan would play, he’d pace the confines of the enclosure less and he’d eventually stop altogether and just sit and watch Nolan from afar. It wasn’t much, but it was progress. When I’d first gotten Gentry, it had taken me more than a year to get the animal to even come near me, so it wouldn’t surprise me if it took that long or longer to earn his trust back.

  Since I had a few minutes before I had to leave, I made a quick detour so I could check on the bear. As I neared his enclosure, I saw that Sawyer was standing inside the double fence. My shoes crunching over the snow gave away my presence and he turned around.

  And I instantly stopped in my tracks.

  Because it wasn’t Sawyer.

  “Dallas,” my brother said softly as his eyes met mine.

  I shook my head in disbelief. If I could have talked, I probably would have said his name.

  Maddox watched me for a moment, then left the enclosure area. I still hadn’t moved by the time he exited the building. I watched Loki run up to my brother, but he didn’t sniff him like he normally did when he met a new person.

  Which meant he’d met Maddox before.

  What the hell?

  As he neared me, I automatically stepped back, then caught myself and forced myself to stand still. His cruel words rang in my ears as he stopped a few feet from me.

  It should have been you that died, not her.

  Maddox was dressed in a heavy parka and dark pants. Despite not having seen him for almost ten years, he hadn’t changed much. He was a little taller than me and it looked like he’d filled out a bit more, though it was hard to tell with the type of clothes he was wearing. His hair was shorter than it had been when we were kids, though I attributed that to his life in the military. He had some laugh lines that made him look a little older than he actually was, but it was his eyes that stood out more than anything else.

  The last time his dark green eyes had been focused on me, they’d been dancing with brittle anger. Now they just looked dull and tired.

  “It’s good to see you,” Maddox murmured. His gaze settled on my throat. Most of my scars were hidden by the button-up shirt, but not all of them.

  When he took a step toward me, his hand outstretched, I stepped back.

  I had absolutely no interest in shaking his hand.

  I wanted him to get the fuck off my property.

  I was in the process of pulling out my phone to tell him that when I heard my name being called. I looked over my shoulder to see Sawyer heading toward us.

  “Hey, I was hoping I’d catch you before you left,” Sawyer said, seemingly unaware of the charged air that hung between me and Maddox. “Would you tell Nolan I’m thinking of him and his mother?” he asked.

  I managed a nod.

  “And don’t worry about things around here. Maddox and I have it covered. I mean, I was doing okay on my own, but it’s definitely easier with two people.”

  I shot Sawyer a look at that. Something in my expression must have clued him in because his smile faltered. He looked back and forth between me and Maddox.

  “Um, everything okay here?” he asked.

  Maddox sighed and said, “I didn’t exactly tell Dallas I was coming.”

  Sawyer’s face fell, then he looked at me. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Dallas. I thought you sent him to help me out.” He shook his head.

  “And I didn’t correct him,” Maddox admitted.

  I didn’t have time for this shit. I put out my hand to shake Sawyer’s in the hopes he’d understand we were okay. He quickly shook it, and I pulled out my phone and motioned to it and then him to let him know I’d text him later.

  “Got it,” he said.

  I didn’t spare my brother another glance as I hurried up the path toward the parking lot.

  “Dallas, please, I just need a second.”

  Frustration coursed through me as Maddox fell into step next to me. I shook my head violently.

  He stepped in front of me on a narrow part of the path. I ground my jaw together as I was forced to stop.

  “Look, Sawyer told me what happened to your friend.”

  I jerked my hand in a sharp motion to the right and then pulled out my phone.

  I typed Boyfriend and stabbed my finger at the screen.

  “Boyfriend,” Maddox acknowledged. His eyes stayed on the phone for a moment, then drifted up to my throat. “Your voice…it never came back?” he asked softly.

  I shoved him hard to get him out of my way. I needed to get to Nolan.

  “I’m sorry,” Maddox said as he kept pace with me. With my limp, it wasn’t hard. “Look, I know you hate me and you have every right to, but I just wanted to see you and tell you-”

  “Nah!” I screamed to stop him from telling me he was sorry. I didn’t give a shit that he was sorry. My throat screamed in protest, but my outburst had done the trick.

  It shut Maddox up.

  His startled eyes followed me as I strode away from him.

  I was struggling to catch my breath by the time I reached my truck, and I was forced to take a couple of minutes to will myself to relax so I could breathe easier. I focused on Nolan’s voice in my head.

  Baby, take deep breaths for me, okay?

  Even though he wasn’t there, he might as well have been because I instantly relaxed. My throat still hurt like hell, but I was able to breathe easier.

  I forced all thoughts of Maddox from my mind and made the drive back to Nolan’s house. I found him in his bathroom trying to put on his tie. He looked beautiful in his dark suit, but his eyes were lifeless as he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

  I went to stand behind him. His eyes met mine in the reflection and I saw a little spark in them. I brushed a kiss against his temple, then began fixing his tie for him. He dropped his hands to the vanity as I worked.

  We didn’t talk.

  When I was finished, I took his hand and led him from the room. We passed by the guest room, but it was empty. We found his mother in the bedroom she’d shared with her husband. She was sitting in the same position she’d been sitting in the morning Nolan and I had arrived to find her dressing her husband in his Sunday finest for the last time.

  “Mom, you ready?” Nolan asked gently.

  She nodded, then stood. “Did you boys eat something?” she asked.

  “Not yet,” Nolan responded. “We will after the service, okay? People are coming by to the house to say their goodbyes afterward, remember?”

  “Oh yes,” she murmured. “I should make a few things.”

  “There’s plenty of food. Your friends from the church outreach committee are taking care of everything.”

  Nolan’s mother nodded. “Yes, alright.” She took in a deep breath and then reached out to place her hand on Nolan’s cheek. He seemed startled by the move. She didn’t say anything, just held her hand there for a moment, then moved past him.

  I took Nolan’s hand in mine and pulled it to my lips for a kiss. The move seemed to help pull him from his daze because he leaned into my chest and inhaled deeply. “I’m glad you’re here, Dallas.”

  I put my hand on the back of his neck and kissed the top of his head.

  I didn’t want to disturb the moment to get my phone, so I sent him a silent message.

  Me too.

  The funeral was simple with little fanfare, but there were quite a few people in attendance. Nolan and I were sitting with his mother in the first pew in the church and I was dimly aware of the many sets of eyes on us. Part of it was likely because Nolan had grabbed my hand early on when the mi
nister had begun speaking, but I knew a lot had to do with the fact that a perceived murderer was sitting amongst them. I ignored the need to escape their scrutiny and forced myself to focus on Nolan.

  After the minister spoke, several people got up to share their memories of Edgar Grainger, but Nolan didn’t.

  Neither did his mother.

  When the funeral ended, we returned to the house for the rest of the service. The women from the church group had left the funeral early so they could get everything set up. People began arriving within twenty minutes. Nolan kept himself busy by greeting people and accepting their condolences, many for the second time. His mother had disappeared into the kitchen to help with some of the food preparation, despite her friends telling her she didn’t need to. They’d wisely fallen silent and let her help when they’d realized keeping busy was helping her keep it together. Like Nolan, she politely thanked anyone who offered their sorrow for her loss, but there was a certain emptiness to her as she listened to them.

  It was like she was seeing right through them.

  I’d ended up taking on the role of greeting people as they arrived and dealing with their coats. I was in the process of hanging one of the coats in the closet near the front door when I heard someone say, “So the beast has finally left the castle.”

  I knew that voice.

  And it took everything in me not to respond with my fists.

  I forced myself to turn around and saw Jimmy watching me with smug amusement from the doorway. There was little satisfaction in watching him take a step backward when I stepped forward.

  “Jimmy, what are you doing?” a woman snapped from behind him. I recognized her as Jimmy’s mother. She was holding onto her husband’s arm as he escorted her up the steps.

  Jimmy had no choice but to step into the foyer to let his parents pass. His eyes shifted from me to the very full living room.

  Yeah, asshole. They’re the only thing keeping me from kicking your ass.

  “You,” Edith Cornell said in surprise when she entered the house and spied me. Then her eyes narrowed. “You and your lies got my Jimmy fired,” she bit out.

  “Edith,” her husband began as he tried to pull her toward the next room, but she resisted.

  “My daughter works for a lawyer,” she announced.

  I ignored the urge to smile at the empty threat. Instead, I motioned to her coat.

  “Don’t you dare try to touch me,” she said, her voice carrying to the next room.

  “He wants your coat, dear,” her husband said. He shrugged off his coat and handed it to me with a polite nod before helping his wife with hers. She huffed and muttered something under her breath about how she knew I’d been trouble from the first time she’d met me, then went to the living room to greet people. I took the coat from her husband.

  “How’s your bear?” Jimmy asked softly, his lips pulling into a sneer.

  I barely managed not to grab him. He took off his coat and handed it to me, but right when I was about to close my fingers around it, he dropped it. Then he walked away.

  Nolan needs you, I reminded myself. Keep it together for him.

  I stuffed the coats into the closet and waited for the next group of people who were already making their way up the walkway. Another ten minutes passed before the traffic slowed. I was just in the process of putting the last of the coats in the closet when I heard a loud crash.

  I rushed into the living room. My breath caught at the sight of Nolan lying on the floor. There was a silver platter on the floor next to him and deviled eggs everywhere. On the carpet, on him.

  And fucking Jimmy Cornell was standing right by the doorway leading to the kitchen, his hand covering his mouth as he unsuccessfully tried to stifle a laugh.

  I had my hands fisted and was striding toward Jimmy when Nolan let out a soft sob. Pain ripped through my chest as Nolan curled himself into a ball and began sobbing hysterically. The room was utterly silent as Nolan cried, and I wanted to beat the shit out of every single person there when not one of them made a move to help him.

  I rushed to his side and dropped to my knees. He didn’t even acknowledge me as I pulled him against my chest. His fingers curled into the lapels of my jacket as he just let go. His tears instantly soaked through the fabric of my shirt.

  I wanted so badly to tell him he was okay, that I was there and I wasn’t letting go, but I was helpless to do anything but hold him. I kissed the top of his head, his temple, anywhere I could reach as he clung to me. I didn’t give a shit who was watching – it was just him and me. I kept brushing my lips over his head and then I made the only sound I could.

  I whistled softly to him as I cradled him against my chest.

  But I didn’t just randomly whistle.

  No, I whistled the one song I hoped he’d hear.

  The song he’d been playing for Gentry over and over to show the traumatized bear that he wasn’t alone.

  Nolan’s sobs quieted a bit, but I kept up the whistling.

  “Nolan?” I heard his mother cry. “Nolan!” she said again, her voice high and wrought with concern as she dropped to her knees next to me, not caring about the mashed-up deviled eggs all over the place.

  “Yep, Grungy Grainger is definitely home,” I heard Jimmy say under his breath with a laugh.

  If Nolan hadn’t needed me more in that moment, I would have put my hands around Jimmy’s throat and not let go, consequences be damned.

  But it turned out that I didn’t have to.

  With unprecedented grace, Nolan’s mother climbed to her feet. She turned around to face Jimmy and then calmly walked up to him. Jimmy had the sense to stop laughing.

  About three seconds before Helen Grainger’s palm cracked against his cheek.

  Jimmy’s head snapped to the right, but the second he straightened to look at Nolan’s mother again, she slapped him again.

  “You get out of my house, Jimmy Cornell. And if you ever come near my son again-”

  “Helen!” I heard Edith shout, then she was rushing into the fray, her husband at her back. “What are you doing?” she cried as she examined her son’s face. “Are you crazy?”

  “You haven’t seen crazy yet, Edith, if you don’t get him out of my house.”

  “Nolan tripped, Helen! Jimmy was just minding his own business. It’s not his fault your son is a-”

  “Edith, the Good Lord himself won’t be able to help you if you say even one more word about my boy.”

  Edith’s mouth snapped shut and she grabbed Jimmy’s arm. “Let’s go,” she bit out.

  Helen dropped back down next to me and Nolan. He’d quieted in my arms, but I wasn’t sure if he’d seen the altercation.

  “Nolan, honey,” Helen whispered.

  Nolan turned his head enough so he could see her. Tears were still streaking down his face. “He’s really gone, Mom.”

  “I know he is,” she said as she opened her arms to him. He straightened and then slowly wrapped his arms around her waist. She whispered things to him as he continued to cry.

  “Old bastard probably couldn’t wait to get away from this freak show,” Jimmy muttered as he pushed off the wall and began to follow his parents.

  He didn’t get two feet before I straightened and then knocked him on his ass with one punch. The room let out a collective gasp and I heard Edith scream, but I didn’t care. As soon as Jimmy got up again, I decked him again. I was going for a third punch when someone got between me and Jimmy.

  It was Doc Cleary.

  “It’s enough, son,” the man said as he pushed against my chest. Physically, he was no match for me and I could have easily moved past him, but he played on my weakness and said, “Nolan needs you.”

  I managed a nod and stepped back, tearing my eyes away from the blood pouring from Jimmy’s nose. Edith was shouting for someone to call the cops, but I didn’t care. I settled my hand on Nolan’s back and rubbed large circles against it as he cried in his mother’s arms. I was dimly aware of Doc Cleary
talking to Edith in a low voice, but I had no clue what he said. People began cleaning up the mess around us as I helped Nolan and his mother to their feet. Helen continued to speak softly to Nolan as she led him down the hallway toward his room.

  I felt a hand on my back and turned to see Doc Cleary watching me with sympathetic eyes. “Come on, son. Let’s get these folks cleared out of here.”

  I nodded because I needed something to do to keep me from going to Nolan.

  Because I wasn’t the person he needed right now.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Nolan

  I smiled to myself when Dallas’s arm automatically wrapped more tightly around my waist when I tried to move away from him. Even in sleep, he was reluctant to let me go. It made my stomach do funny things.

  I glanced at the clock and decided to give myself a few more minutes to just enjoy the warmth that was permeating my skin wherever Dallas was touching me. It wasn’t that I’d exactly felt cold this past week, it was more like I’d been numb. I honestly didn’t recall much of what I’d said or done after I’d walked into my parents’ bedroom and seen my father’s body. What I did remember included doctors explaining that there was no way to have seen his death coming, people coming by almost nonstop to bring food and extend their sympathies, and the minister and several others standing in front of a packed church telling everyone what a good man my father had been.

  I’d wanted to ask them how they knew he was a good man. I wanted to ask them if he was so good, why hadn’t he loved me? I wanted to know why I hadn’t been able to find even one memory of him that I could share.

  By the time the service at the house had started, I’d accepted that I’d never have the answers to any of those questions.

  Then Jimmy Cornell had tripped me as I’d been bringing a tray of deviled eggs into the living room for guests.

  And my world had finally shattered.

  There’d been no reason to get up anymore. No reason to show that I hadn’t been broken.

  My father was gone, taking my last chance to tell him I was sorry for never being good enough along with him.