Left

by Shyla Colt

  “We need to plan a trip and get away,” he says.

  “You make it sound so easy.”

  “Cause it is.”

  “Oh please, Mr. workaholic is not lecturing me about needing a break from work.”

  “Hey, I been getting much better with it. I had to work like that when we were starting up.”

  I place my hand on his arm. “I know, and I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished.”

  His face turns a light shade of red, and I wink. He hates praise. Which only makes me want to tell him how amazing he is. Not many men could handle being a single dad of three and run a successful business. He opens the door for me, and I climb into the cab. He’s got impeccable manners. I’m shocked he’s still single. From the looks of the women coming into the shop to ask about modeling opportunities during the car shows, it’s not for lack of women trying. He hasn’t had a date since Rain left him at the altar.

  Part of me is relieved. Embarrassed, I roll down the window to cool my heated face. It’s sick, this codependence we developed. But without it, I’m alone. If he ever finds a woman, I’ll back off. I’d do anything to see him and the kids happy.

  “We have some time to burn. Where do you want to go?” Houston asks.

  “Wherever the road takes us.”

  “Thank you, Doc. Brown. We’re not going back to the future, though. We’re on a tight schedule.”

  I giggle. “I love that you go along with it.”

  “Who else will humor you?”

  “Everyone, because I’m awesome, duh,” I say.

  “Whatever gets you through the day, Livy.”

  I roll my eyes, unable to keep the smile off my face. He’s good at that, making me laugh. I study him with my peripheral vision. He’s relaxed as he steers with ease. The sunlight hits him, highlighting the strands of gray starting to sprout. It makes him look distinguished.

  “Where are you taking me Hous?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Nah.” I lean back and close my eyes enjoying the warmth of the sun on my skin and his presence. “Missed you this month.”

  “I know. Our schedules were so opposite. I felt like you were always leaving the house when I was coming home.”

  “How did the restoration of that sting ray end up?’

  “Real well. The guy brought in two more clients.”

  “That’s fantastic. Why don’t you sound more excited?”

  “I’m burnt out. I love what I do, but I need a break. I 've been thinking about planning something special for the triplets’ birthday. Are you going to be available to get time off during the Labor Day weekend?”

  “Consider it done. Are you going to let me in on your plan?”

  “I thought we should do Schlitterbahn.”

  “That would be awesome! I love New Braunfels.” The charming town sat on the same river that fed into Schlitterbahn, one of the best water parks in the United States, and felt like the town time forgot with its small homes, perfect lawns, tin roof covered shelters full of picnic benches, and mom and pop stores.

  “I know. I figured it’d be low key, fun, and there’s no shock I love the vintage factor.”

  “I’m game. Do you need me to help with anything?”

  “I’ll rent the house this week. You know how fast they book up.”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “Will you handle the decorations and get the four-one –one on presents? ”

  “You expect me to wrap them too?” I ask dryly.

  “You do it so beautifully, darling. It’d be a shame for me to ruin the tradition by giving the kids ugly presents.”

  I can hear the smile in his suave southern drawl. Originally from up north, my twang isn’t as rich as a native’s. I could listen to his baritone all day. He pulls down the road that leads to Zilker park, and I smile. Perfect place to kill a few hours.

  ***

  Houston

  “How was school guys?” I ask as I drive us home.

  “Fun,” Echo says. She’s my bubbly one. With her light brown hair, hazel eyes, and delicate features, and petite frame, she’s like a fairy spreading happiness and light. She balances out Deja. With her dark brown hair, blue eyes, and quiet countenance she’s the total opposite. She’s a creative dreamer like rain. It worries me. I try to work on keeping her grounding, without stifling her spirit.

  Phoenix is me all over. Serious, particular, and insanely protective over his sisters. I want him to have fun and be a kid while he can. That’s something I lacked growing up. With Dad constantly gone, I felt like I had to be the man of the house while he was gone.

  “It was good,” Deja says, her voice soft.

  “Phoe?”

  “We were supposed to talk about our families.”

  My throat tightens. I’ve been dreading this moment for a long time.

  “Yeah.”

  “And Billie told me, I had to have a mom to be a family.”

  “And what did you say?” I ask peering in the rearview mirror. Brows drawn and lips pursed into a straight line, Phoenix is the image of pensive.

  “That it wasn’t true. Cause I have a family and no Mom.”

  “Tha’s right.”

  “I told him we got something even better than a mom. We have a Liv.”

  Liv gasps from beside me. I glance over and find her plump dark pink lips have formed a circle. She turns her dark brown gaze my way. Concern and a slow creeping panic appear in the depths of her large eyes. I recognize the expression by now.

  “Well now, I agree, Liv is amazing for our family. But it’s okay if Billie has a mom. Families don’t have a certain way to look. It’s different for everyone.”

  “Why can’t Liv be our mom, Dad?” Phoenix asks. The pain in his voice rips me to shreds.

  “Because we’re not married.”

  “So, get married,” Echo says.

  “Yeah, can we be flower girls,” Deja says.

  “And she can live with us all the time. Please, Dad.” Phoenix says.

  “Please,” Echo and Deja parrot.

  “Guys, it’s complicated. Daddy and Livy aren’t dating. We’re not in love.”

  “Y- you don’t love Livy?” Echo wails.

  “Of course, I do. But this is a special kind of love. Livy is my best friend, and umm…”

  I look to Livy desperate for help.

  “Daddy and I are always going to be here for you. We do love each other. We’re best friends. You know, like you guys and Roland,” she said mentioning Ollie’s son. “Would you guys want to marry Rollo?” she asks.

  “Yuck! No.” Echo and Deja say.

  “I don’t want to marry anyone,” Phoenix says making us laugh.

  “Well, then why are you trying to marry us off?” I ask.

  “So we can be a real family,” Phoenix says.

  Liv turns in her seat and leans back to grab his hand. “We already are.”

  “Forever? Cause Billie says if you aren’t our Mommy you can just leave. But our Mommy did that.”

  I grip the wheel tight. Son of a bitch.

  “Honey, I’m not going anywhere ever. Your mommy had some problems. She left because she wasn’t well enough to take care of you. Sometimes people get sick in the heart, and the head where no one can see.”

  “But you won’t?” Phoenix whispers.

  “Nope. I got your Daddy to keep that from happening to me. That’s what best friends do. Keep you together like glue.”

  He gives a solemn nod and goes quiet. I’m not sure if we handled it right. I don’t know how to tell him what I don’t know. Anger burns hot in my belly. I want to take a tire iron to something fragile and hear it break. Liv rests her hand on my knee. The rage filters from me. She’s my sieve sifting out the bad things so I can keep the good. A spark flickers inside me. My cock twitches. Fuck. It’s been a long time. I’m a red-blooded male, and Liv Cole is one sexy woman. Unlike the trend, she’s voluptuous with thick thighs, wide hips, and an ass I’ve alw
ays wanted to palm. She has to be at least five foot eleven because I’m six foot two, and she comes to my shoulder. I bite the inside of my cheek until I taste the metallic flavor of blood.

  Three years without sex is a long time. When I was neck deep in work, I didn’t notice the needs I wasn't fulfilling. Now that the business is thriving, I’m noticing a lot of things I’ve missed. Like the fact that my dick wants to be inside my best friend. I roll down the window praying the air will blow away my lustful thoughts long enough for me to regain sanity. She’s a constant for my kids and me.

  Sex only complicates good friendships, and we both have boatloads of issues to go through before we could think about anything real. Not that I wanted to go down that road again. Or do I? Liv removes her hand, and I instantly miss the warm weight. The kid’s questions had my mind drifting into the twilight zone. I’m not thinking properly. I concentrate on the road. We pull up to the house and unload.

  “Well guys, Livy has to get back home—

  “You’re not staying for dinner?” I ask shocked.

  “I don’t want to wear out my welcome.” The smile on her face doesn’t reach her eyes. I frown.

  “That’s not possible. I was going to make my Mom’s Shepard’s pie, your favorite.” We're second generation Irish. Every couple of years my mom and dad return to the small villages their parents immigrated from.

  She bites her bottom lip. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. I just don’t want to make things more complicated.”

  I roll my eyes, grab her hand and pull her into the house with the kids trailing behind her like baby ducks. I like the vision more than I should. The kids’ questions made me think about things better left alone. We’re fine. I don’t need a woman in my life.

  “Okay guys, shoes off and go get changed over to play clothes. Livy will help you get your things ready for tomorrow while Dad gets a snack set up.”

  “Yay!” They run toward their rooms. Liv moves to follow, and I grab her wrist. “What’s going on with you right now?”

  “Just wonder if we’re confusing them with me being here all the time.”

  “They love you.”

  “And I love them, but look at what they were saying today," she says.

  “They're kids.”

  She shakes her head. “I don’t want to fuck them up, Hous.”

  “And you think I do? They’re fine. They have a life filled with people who love them and stability. That’s what kids need.”

  She tilts her head to the side, and I know regardless of what I say, she’s going to stew over this. I run my hair down her soft curls. Her mane has grown exponentially over the past few years. She went through a transitional stage after the wedding that wasn’t. I think it was her coming into her own. It looks good on her.

  “You trust me?”

  She sniffs, blinking. “You know I do.”

  “Then we’re still in this together, doing it our way. We understand better than most, trying to fall in line and go the traditional route isn’t always best.”

  She nods, but the distance between us remains. I don’t like it, but I if I push she might shut down. Avoidance is a technique she’s skilled at and will deploy at in a heartbeat. I run my knuckles down the side of her face and force myself to step back.

  ***

  A sense of dread hits me as we walk from Phoenix’s bedroom. Liv remains aloof. I pull her away from their bedroom and further down the hall.

  “I don’t want you to leave like this, Liv.”

  “Like what?”

  “Don’t play dumb. Not with me.”

  “I have a lot on my mind.”

  “So share it with me,” I say bending down to meet her gaze full on.

  “I can’t. I’m still processing.”

  “You mad at me?”

  She blinks. “What? No. Why would you think that?”

  “Cause you’re freezing me out.”

  “Mad would be easy. I’ve never had a problem telling you when I’m pissed off.”

  I chuckle. “That’s an understatement.”

  She places her hands on her hips and arches her eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean.”

  “That you’re a fucking pitbull in disguise.”

  “Humph. Nothing wrong with that.”

  “Never said it was, darling,” I say.

  A smile breaks out over her lips. She’s thawing, and I’m desperate for her attention. I never realized how much I took for granted until she withdrew.

  “You know by now I’m immune to your clever golden tongue right?"

  I snicker. “Ain’t no one I care about enough to sweet talk, except you and my Mam.”

  “Maybe you should change that,” she whispers.

  Her face closes off.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Phoenix made me think. Perhaps it’s time you get back on the horse and find a significant other—."

  “Whoa.” I place a finger over her lips. “Where's this coming from?”

  She pushes my hand away. “You heard them today in the car. It’s only going to get worse the older they get.”

  “So you want me to do what, go on The Bachelor?” I’m confused by her outburst.

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “Right now, you’re the one with outlandish ideas,” I say.

  “Are they? It’s been three years.”

  “Trust me. I know how long it’s been." I grit my teeth and stare.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Trying to figure out why you’re throwing stones when you live in a glass house.”

  “Oh, fuck you.” She pushes past me.

  Astonished, I stall out like a stick shift not put into the right gear. What the hell just happened? I jog after her and grab her arm, spinning her to face me. “You can question me, but when I do the same, you’re pissed?”

  “I’m concerned.”

  “Because of today?”

  She nods. “What if I’m doing more harm than good? I can’t fill in the place of mother. A Livy isn’t better, Houston. They deserve so much more.” Tears make her eyes sparkle like smoky quartz.

  I cup the back of her head. “Hey. Don’t think that. Yes, you play a maternal role for them, and that's okay. So do Mam, and my sister. They’re lucky to have you. I couldn’t have done this without you, and I sure as hell don’t want to start now. He caught us off guard. We’ll regroup and make sure he feels safe and secure. It’s what we do.”

  She studied the floor. “Maybe I need to lessen my presence.”

  “You do that, and I’ll take you over my knee.”

  She looks up at me with flashing eyes and flaring nostrils. Yes, give me your anger. That I can handle.

  “I’d like to see you try.”

  “Do you want to play that game?” I ask.

  She growls at me. “This isn’t a game.”

  “No, it’s not. You’ll do more harm than good if you change the things they’re used to.”

  “I need space to think.”

  “About what?" I press.

  “Everything.” She snaps.

  I throw my hands up in the air. “You're daft right now.”

  “No, I’m looking at the bigger picture, and I’m not sure I like what I see.”

  “Are you tired of us? Has the time finally come for you to bail? Do you want to walk? Don’t drag it out.” I say, hiding the alarm her words are causing.

  The slap damn turns my head backward. “What the fuck.”

  “How dare you say that to me after everything? I’m leaving before this gets any more out of hand.”

  She stalks off, and I follow like a bull seeing red.

  “You think you can put your hands on me and walk off like that, you got another thing coming, woman.” I shove her body against the nearest wall and grip her chin. “I don’t know what the hell has gotten into you, but you need to remember who you’re dealing with. I will not take your shit the way everyone else does.�
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  Her chest heaves and her lips part. My heart slams in my chest like a jackhammer. She’s so damn hot when she’s pissed. I lean in, and our lips meet. Current zaps through my body, and I light up like a pinball machine. She gasps. I take advantage of the opening and stick my tongue in her mouth tasting her. She moans and wraps her arms around my neck. I grip her coarse hair and tilt her head back. She returns the aggression, eating at my mouth. My cock strains against my pants. I don’t stop until my lungs scream in protests.

  She places her fingertips on her swollen lips.

  “No, we cannot do this.” She slaps her palm on my chest. “This is so wrong.”

  “Why?” I rasp.

  “We’re letting lust get the best of us.” She shakes her head and shoves me away.

  Dazed, I watch her flee like the devil is after her. I’m not as convinced as she is that this isn’t exactly what we both should be doing. She’s not the only one who has thinking to do tonight.

  Chapter Two

  Liv

  No one understood me like my father. He always gave advice that spoke to the very heart of who I am. He guided me to my choice without making them for me and lifted the blinders I wore when trying deal with individual decisions. Adolescence was hell for me. In a time where being a geek wasn’t cool I liked, comics, kung fu movies, books, and anime. I was tall, curvy, and in the eyes of many, a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I did things because they felt right to me, regardless of trends, which often lead to ridicule.

  Daddy would be the first person to tell me if they didn’t like me as I was they could kiss my ass because there was nothing wrong with me. I needed that. My mother’s a strong woman. A fighter, who tried to pass her strength onto me through brute force. She knew the ugliness the world had to offer, and she didn’t want me caught unaware. I respect her for that, but when you’re a teen who thinks you’ll never be loved because you’re too different, what you need is a gentle touch.

  Society lies. They tell us what’s wrong with us without saying a word. It’s a lie by omission. If you only show one body type, one lifestyle, and one train of thought, by default you’re saying anyone different is in the wrong. It took me years to understand that. I sink in front of the headstone. This is where I come when I lost my way. To the man who always acted as my compass.