Left

by Shyla Colt

  “I’m serious.”

  “I know. We’ve filled for Child Abandonment. We would’ve done it sooner, but we had no clue where she was. Given her very public exit, I think we have a good shot at winning.”

  “What’ll happen if the judge rules for Child Abandonment?”

  “She could be faced with criminal charges, varying in severity. More importantly, her parental rights can be terminated. That’s our goal. Brian is getting me into contact with a family lawyer he trusts. He laid the ground work encase she moved fast. We want to hit her first.” His voice is calm and steady, but I know he’s frightened. We haven’t heard anything else from Anthony or Rain, but they’re always on the mind, a storm cloud waiting to blow in.

  “The insurance approved everything. I still can’t believe a faulty outlet set the whole place up.”

  “I’m just glad you’re okay,” he says.

  “Me too.” There’s been no talk of me finding a new place. We both know I’m going to stay.

  A knock sounds at the door, and I frown. “Are you expecting someone?”

  “No. Stay here with them?”

  “Yeah.”

  I look at the children who are nearly finished with their sliced apples, graham crackers, and milk. “Let’ s get things cleaned up, so we can start on our homework, okay?”

  Phoenix and Deja move to throw away their napkins and place their bowls in the sink while Echo doddles. It’s a typical school day. It’s not that Echo doesn’t follow rules. She simply exists in her own time zone. The challenge we have is getting her attuned to the one the rest of us live on.

  “Come on, Ms. Echo. We still have homework to get done today.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” I cherish her little voice. They grow so quickly. Soon she won’t sound or look like this. Her little legs swing and I walk over and place a kiss on her forehead. My phone plays. Why the hell is Houston texting me? I pull it out and gasp.

  Call the cops. Rain is here. I dial nine-one –one.

  “This is Nine-one-one, what is your emergency?”

  “Yes, I’m in my home with three small children, and I have a trespasser outside who refuses to leave.”

  “I see ma’am. Are you safe?”

  “Yes, at the moment I am. I’m inside, but I don’t want the children to be frightened.”

  “That’s completely understandable. I want you to stay in that safe location away from the windows and doors. Can you tell me the address?”

  I rattle it off to her. “What about the intruder? What do they look like?”

  I creep over to the window and peer out of the blinds. “She’s about five feet six inches, with shoulder length brown hair, blue jeans, and a white –t-shirt with flowers on it. She appears to be pregnant. My boyfriend is out there speaking with her now. He’s about 6’2 with dark hair and a beard. He's wearing blue jeans, and a white t-shirt.”

  “I have units coming to you now, ma’am. They should reach your destination in the next five minutes.”

  “Thank you.”

  I get the kids started on their homework. Flashes of crimson and indigo pull me to the curtain. “They’re here.”

  “Excellent. I’ll disconnect now.”

  “Thank you,” I say.

  “You’re welcome.”

  The line goes dead. I crack the window and press my ear to the opening to hear what’s being said.

  “Ma’am we’re going to have to ask you leave his property.”

  “The sidewalk is public domain,” she protests.

  “This woman is being filed with child abandonment charges to the three children in this house who have no clue who she is. I don’t want my six-year-olds upset.”

  “Ma’am, you can leave voluntarily, or we can escort you. You don’t want to add more trouble to the legalities already in motion.”

  “Those are my babies! Mine. That uppity bitch cant' have them.” Rain screams.

  “We understand that you’re upset, but I think we can all agree this isn’t going to help anyone, and it’s not healthy for the baby you have on the way.”

  Rain points at Houston. “This is all his fault. He won’t let me see him. He’s mad because I called off the wedding.”

  “No, calling off the wedding would have been decent. You left me at the altar, and then stayed gone for three years. That’s on you, not me. You should listen to Officer Stanford, get back on your car and not come back here.”

  “You can’t keep me from them. You or that bitch.”

  “Okay ma’am, let’s go,” Officer Stanford genty grabs her elbow and guides her toward the forest green minivan. She’s off her fucking gourd. I’ve heard that pregnancy hormones mess with women, but that was off the charts. Of course, Rain never took the blame for her wrongdoings. It was always the stars misaligning, the universe talking, or fortune frowning on her. It was never about her poor choices and inability to deal with things like an adult. I hoped she might have changed for everyone’s sake.

  As my mother would say, some people never really leave high school. Given the way she was raised, I’m not stunned. There were no rules, structure, guidance, or reality checks. It made her optimistic until the end, which was great when we were young and the worst thing we had to worry about was makeup and boys. I knew she was struggling rear three kids, but I thought it was normal.

  They officer stayed behind, and I closed the door as Houston began to file a report. Sick to my stomach. I return to the stove, layer the lasagna, add the marinara and pop it in the oven. It took my mind off the issue at hand momentarily. There's no way we can get through this without telling the children their mother has returned. What will that do to them? What if they force them to see her? They’re all questions I can’t answer, and that terrifies me because it leaves way too much room for error. The image of her screaming for her children will haunt me as long as I live.

  ***

  Houston

  The time has come to clue the children in on what’s happening. I spent all week trying to think up the best way to say it. So far I’ve come up with nothing. There’s no easy way to break it to them. We’ve begun the legal process, and they may have to see her in a supervised setting before the judge rules. I study the three lined up like baby ducks around Liv as they wait in line.

  We’ve taken them to their favorite park with the Ice cream stand because I didn't want this memory to taint our home in any way. I stroke my beard as I take in their happy faces. I want to remember this time before I had to steal away their innocence.

  They get one scoop icre cream cones in strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate. I smile. My little Neapolitan crew, each so different, but linked. They return to the bench I’m seated on, and I force a smile.

  “Wow, you guys got cones?” I say.

  “Yes, It’s the best Friday ever,” Echo says doing a little spin. I laugh at her gesture. She’s always been a ham.

  “Come on, let’s eat them while we walk by the pond and see the duckies and fish,” I say standing. I lace my fingers with Liv, grateful for her presence. She’s been a constant source of support, love, and calm. I see red when it comes to people endangering my family. If she hadn’t been there to talk me down, I might’ve done something rash. When I received the petition for visitation in the mail, I hit the roof. Our first court appearance is next week. It’s put me on edge.

  I wait until the last of the cone has been devoured and guide them over to empty picnic tables. Liv produces a pack of wet wipes and the clean up begins.

  “Do you guys remember how I told you once you had a mommy who carried you in her belly?” I ask.

  “Uh huh.” They nod their tiny heads and look at me with eyes full of trust. I can’t let them down.

  “Well, she wants to see you again.”

  “No, I don’t want to see our not nice Mommy. She left us,” Phoenix yells and grabs onto Liv’s leg. “We have a new Mommy now. A better one who won’t ever leave us.” His anger sets Echo and Deja into tears.

 
Liv turns her pain filled eyes toward me. Tears roll down her cheeks.

  “Hey, no one is going to take you away from Daddy. I won’t let that happen. " I kneel in front of Phoenix and bring the girls close to my chest. "The court might want you to see her or talk to her, and I don’t want it to be a complete surprise.”

  “Liv’s our new Mommy. She can’t take her place,” Deja says with conviction. ,

  I can see that it’s tearing Liv in two to hear them call her Mom when she’s not sure if she has the right.

  “Yes she is, and you’re right. No matter what happens between her and Daddy she will always be there for you.” I kiss the girls head and then Phoneix.

  A strangled cry leaves Liv’s throat, and I stand and wrap my arms around my makeshift family.

  “There are more things to a mommy than carrying you her in a belly. She’s the person who loves you, takes care of you, helps you grow, and is always there when you need her. Liv does all of those things and more.” And I love her. I rock from left to right, soothing them the way I did when they were babies. “It’s going to be alright. Mommy and Daddy got you.” Liv rests her head against me, and I know she’s accepted her new title. Her body shakes with her quiet cries. I kiss her temple. “Move in with me officially?”

  “Yes.”

  My heart soars. The world might be threatening to tilt on its axis, but at the moment I’m anchored. The kids calm down.

  “Why did she leave us?” Echo whispers.

  I could think of a million things to say, but none of them are nice or helpful.

  “I think she was scared,” Liv says.

  “Of us?” Deja asks.

  “Of being a good mommy and growing up. She wasn’t ready. But life doesn’t wait for us to be ready. Our choices have what?”

  “Consequences,” they all say.

  Liv nods. “Exactly. No one taught your old mommy that.”

  “So, she didn’t now better?” Phoenix asks.

  Liv shakes her head. “I don’t think she did. But that doesn’t make what she did right. Even when we’re sorry, it doesn’t fix everything.”

  “Is she sowwy?” Deja asks.

  “I think so,” Liv whispers.

  “What she did, leaving without telling anyone where she went or checking in on you is illegal. Do you know what means?” I ask.

  They shake their heads no.

  “It’s against the law. You can go to jail for it.” I explain.

  “Where the bad people go?” Phoenix asks.

  “Yeah, Phe,” I say.

  “Is she going to jail,” Echo asks sounding scandalized. The girl needs to be an actress someday.

  “Maybe. It depends on what the people who are in charge of the law say. They’re called judges, and it’s why Daddy is going to court next week.”

  “It makes me sad,” Deja whispers.

  “Me too kiddo,” I pull her close and kiss the top of her head. “How about we visit the fairy gardens to cheer us up?” I ask.

  The round of yeses are dull as they sniff, and struggle to get themselves together. I wish I could have avoided causing them pain, but withholding the truth would tamper with the trust between us and only delay the inevitable. As we walk away to the other section of the park, I’m filled with hope. What lies ahead of us is uncertain and rocky, but we’re strong together.

  ***

  How are you holding up?” Braden asks as we wait in line for our cups of coffee. I’m running on caffeine and stubbornness at the moment.

  “I’m hanging in there. Court’ shell. Between running the business and being in front of the judge, I'm not sleeping well. I worry that she’ll win custody by some fluke. That the judge will have a bleeding heart, and be swayed by the sob story, she's concocted. I'll admit it's a compelling work of pure fiction.

  “That’s never going to happen,” Braeden says.

  “You’d be surprised. It’s not like she was a junkie, just an overwhelmed mother of multiples, who got scarred. You should hear the way her lawyers spins it in court. You’d think I was a controlling monster. It’s sick how she’s twisting everything.”

  “Maloney squared,” the barista calls.

  We step up and grab our white chocolate mocha’s to go.

  “That bitch. You did everything for her. I always thought she was a little spacey, but you were happy, so I bite my tongue. Seeing her try to play hard ball when all you did was support her constantly changing dreams pisses me off. You can’t go through live chasing a vibe or relying on feelings. It takes money to keep the lights on a roof over your head. You worked your fingers down to the bone at the shop, and still came home to be a damn good father. That shouldn’t be held against you.”

  “Thanks Brae.”

  “I admire you for that. It’s not easy being a father or a business owner, yet you do both flawlessly, and you landed an incredible chick.”

  I laugh. “Now you’re just flattering me, what do you want?”

  He shakes his head. “Just lending support while I’m here. Times like this I hate what I do. I should be here rallying around you with the rest of the family.”

  “Hey man, don’t beat yourself up about it. I know you’d be here if you could.”

  “I been thinking about not re enlisting at the end of my term.”

  “Shit, really?” I say shocked.

  “Fifteen years is a long time, and they’ve been offering me an excellent retirement package. I don’t want Dad to be disappointed in me, but I’m ready to move on to a new stage in my life.”

  “Then do that. You know I’ll back you one hundred percent,” I say.

  “I appreciate that. You know I love it when we do the brotherly bonding thing, but I don’t think it’s why you asked me to take leave.”

  “No, I need you to help me pick out a ring.”

  “Word?” Brae asks.

  “Yeah man, she’s the only thing keeping me sane at the moment, and after that fire.” I clear my throat. “I realized how devastated I’d be if anything happens to her, and how much id’ regret wasting time. I won’t ask her until the case is settled. If I do, she'll always wonder if I did it to increase my chances at winning, and I don’t want that.”

  “Smart. Shit, my brothers’ getting married.”

  “Again,” I say feeling the sting of embarrassment return.

  “No, finally. I would’ve sewed up that fine honey ages ago.”

  “Brae the nineties called, they want their slang back,” I say nudging him.

  “Do you want my help or not?” He mutters.

  I smirk but keep my mouth shut.

  “What kind of ring are you thinking of getting her?” Brae asks.

  “Something with a vintage feel, and worth at least two months of my paycheck.”

  “Are you sticking to that old tradition? Do you think she’d care about that?” he asks sounding doubtful.

  “I know she wouldn’t. It’s precisely why I want to do it.” I ‘d gone small and quirky with Rain, so this needed to be the total opposite.

  “Any other reason?” Brae asks.

  “I’m not superstitious, but I am trying to avoid any similarity between what I did with Rain.”

  “Thought so,” Brae says with a nod.

  “You blame me?”

  “No, especially since she helped plan the last one. Life can be crazy, huh?”

  “Very. Imagine living that reality instead of talking about it. There’s a jeweler around the corner I’ve heard good things about. It’s why I brought us here.”

  We round the corner and Walk into Steven’s.

  “Good afternoon gentleman, can I help you find something?’

  “Yes, my big brother here is in the market for an engagement ring,” Braeden says with a grin.

  Dick.

  “We can certainly assist you with that Sir. My name’s Paul, and I’ll be helping you this evening."

  "I'm Houston, and my brother here is Braedon is playing the part of the peanut gallery. "


  " We're happy to have you both here. I always like to ask for a description of the woman, so I can better assist you.”

  “Liv is amazing. She’s brilliant, focused, but funny, sweet, and classic.”

  “So nothing too modern?” Paul asks.

  “No.”

  “Do you have a shape in mind?”

  “Pear or Circle,” I say.

  “This way, please.” He walks toward the cases on the far end. “Is there a cut amount you’re aiming for?”

  “At least one, but closer to two or above is ideal.”

  Braeden whistles.

  “She’s my forever woman. She deserves it,” I say with a shrug.

  I find myself drawn to the circular rings. I lean down closer to the case, and one catches my eyes. A large diamond in the centers is surrounded by a smaller band of diamonds and then a larger row below it. It has a some like shape I think she'll find pleasing. Leaf like flourishes on the sides add character before diamonds went down the band. It’s not flashy, but it’s solid.

  “How many karats is this all together?” I ask pointing at the ring.

  “It’s two and a quarter.”

  “And what’s the setting made of?”

  “Platinum,” Paul says.

  “Can I see it?”

  “Of course.” He reaches inside the case and grabs the ring. The minute it touches my flesh I know it’s the one. I hold it up to the light turning it to and fro. In the shimmer of gemstone I see my hopes for the future.

  “This is it.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to look at anything else, bro?” Brae asks.

  “No need. This is the one meant to go on her finger.”

  “How much am I looking at Paul?” Iask.

  “Four thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine dollars.”

  “Done. I need a size eight and a half.”

  “We can have it ready for you in a week.”

  “Perfect.”

  “You’re not playing around tonight are you?” Brae says.

  “Life is short and unpredictable. I spent too much time trying to get things just right and in the end it didn’t matter. So, I’m trying to exist somewhere between living for the moment and planning for the future.”

  “Does wisdom come with age?” Brae asks.