“That’s fair,” Sasha decided to say and saw the look of surprise in her mother’s eyes. “But does being different mean I should be shut out? You knew I was different. I was a foster. Why did you agree to take me in if you didn’t want another child?”
“We didn’t want you,” her dad blurted out, and Sasha felt the rejection slice through her before it settled around the truth that she had already known.
“But we loved you nonetheless,” her mom said, putting a hand out to her dad. To him, not to me, Sasha thought.
“Perhaps we look at love a little differently,” Sasha murmured, glancing over her shoulder for her friends again.
“We gave what we could – what we were capable of,” her mother protested.
Sasha let that settle for a bit, testing the weight of it and deciding what she would do with it. As a child, she would have railed against them in anger. As an adult, however, it was time for her to forgive.
“I understand that now. I understand that you didn’t know how to parent a child like me – that you wanted me to be something that I wasn’t. But it wasn’t out of malice, and I forgive you for trying to mold me into something that I’m not. But all I’ve ever needed was the freedom to just be who I was without judgment. But I’m happy now. I’m happy with who I am, the woman I’ve become, and the life I’ve created for myself. I’m proud of it,” Sasha said softly.
Her mother looked at her in confusion. “Of course, we’re very proud of you. That’s all we’ve wanted, is your happiness.”
Maybe it was just something Sasha was going to have to come to terms with – the fact that her parents might never understand her, but at the very least they did want what was best for her, even if their parenting style had been questionable at best. Because sometimes, that’s all people can do – the best they know how, with the hand they were dealt.
“Tell me about where I came from,” Sasha asked, pinning her eyes on her father, who looked toward the wall, fidgeting with his collar.
“An old woman approached us. You were but a babe,” her mother spoke, her brown eyes focused on the wall as she remembered. “We didn’t want another child, you see? We couldn’t afford one and didn’t want the burden. But the promise was that if we took you in, we’d never suffer for anything again. And we haven’t, not really. Though money was tight, our needs were always met. I think we argued too much back then because we didn’t trust that things were going to work out. We also didn’t really understand this child that had been given to us or the touch of otherness she carried with her.” Her mother shook herself as though coming out of a trance and then flushed slightly, refusing to meet Sasha’s eyes. “Frankly, you terrified us.”
“Why did I scare you?” Sasha insisted.
“You weren’t of this world. Your eyes would shift colors sometimes. Strange things happened around you. Yet you never got hurt. You’d fall and not break anything. You’d dance out into the street in front of a car and the car would never hit you. You ran full speed ahead all the time and nothing ever seemed to get in your way. Yes, you’re terrifying. So we did the best we could with someone we didn’t understand and the powers we couldn’t comprehend,” her father said, his blue eyes meeting hers, making eye contact for the first time in this conversation.
“Why didn’t you say anything to me?” Sasha asked in astonishment. But at the same time, she remembered the incident with the car that he referenced. She’d felt herself whisked out of the car’s path. But by whom? Glancing over her shoulder again into the darkness, she wondered if it had been Declan, if even back then he’d protected her.
“It wasn’t our place. There was no way to explain what we understood, but had no facts to back up,” her mother shrugged.
“We did the best we could,” her dad repeated. Sasha looked at them with a new light, the old anger seeping away from her as though someone had opened a valve and let it pour out of her very soul. Holding onto that resentment did little for anyone. Her parents had done their best, and she’d still found her own way. Maybe, just maybe, they could have a new relationship now. One forged in understanding and respect, and not couched in past hurts and old patterns.
“You did just fine. I understand more, now that you’ve explained. Thank you for telling me,” Sasha said gently.
“You always were in the light. Stay on the side of the light,” her mother murmured, her face creased in confusion as if she were trying to remember something from long ago. “Ah, yes. That was it. The old woman said to go to the place of the light. No, where the light overcomes the darkness?” She drummed her hands on the table as Sasha’s dad ran a hand through his hair.
“Where the light always shines,” her dad clarified and they both beamed at each other, happy for remembering.
“Go to the place where the light always shines,” Sasha repeated, then gasped when her parents disappeared before her, leaving not a trace behind, and the darkness fell away to reveal a full-scale battle around her.
“Sasha!” Bianca shrieked.
Sasha gasped as she was hit from behind.
Chapter Twenty-six
“Where the hell have you been?” Declan growled into her ear as they rolled beneath a table, his body instinctively cushioning hers from the hard floor. A battle raged above them, with Domnua and Danula clashing swords desperately. Sasha gasped as Bianca flew by and launched herself at the back of a Domnua that had a chokehold on Seamus.
“What – what is going on? What happened?” Sasha asked, pulling away from Declan with the dagger in her hand as she tried to track the flurry of movement that coursed around them.
“It was like you just disappeared. You stepped inside and blinked out of sight. We had nothing to go on – nobody could find you. And then the Domnua slipped through the windows and before you know it, we didn’t have time to look for you. We were too busy trying to fight for our lives. Luckily, just before you reappeared, we were given backup. It was quite literally like a switch was thrown and the Danula dropped from the air to help. I wonder what happened,” Declan said, his breath tickling her ear as he panted, his arm still slung around her as they watched the battle.
Sasha knew what had happened. It was when she’d let go of the old anger and resentment and had decided to just view her parents as people who had done the best they could. She’d viewed it as a valve turning and releasing, but she supposed it could have been flipping a switch.
“You two having a cuddle mid-battle? I’ll remember this next time you make me get out of bed with Bianca early,” Seamus poked his head, upside down, at them beneath the table and shot them a cheeky grin before turning away to stab a Domnua.
“I suppose we should help,” Sasha said, pulling away from Declan’s warmth.
“Wait, where were you? Are you all right, then?” Declan tugged her braid back, making her pause for a moment as she looked into his eyes.
“Aye, I’m just fine. I had to let go of some old stuff. And I’ve got a new clue. Let’s take care of this mess and I’ll fill you all in,” Sasha said, feeling lighter than she had in years. She crawled from beneath the table and leapt into the fray, her dagger sending little jolts of fire through any Domnua that dared to come too close. In a few short moments, they’d finished off the Domnua.
The remaining Danula bowed as one, a purply glow of otherness surrounding them, before they slipped from sight.
“It’s weird that they bowed to us,” Sasha said.
“You’re saving their very world – they had best bow. You’re like a princess,” Bianca panted, then launched herself at a surprised Sasha, wrapping her arms tightly around her waist.
“Hey, it’s fine. I’m alive, see?” Sasha held up her arms, but Bianca held on for a moment longer.
“You gave us a good fright, that’s for sure,” Maddox said, his face filled with annoyance as he wiped silvery blood from his blade.
“It wasn’t my choice. I just stepped in and everything faded to darkness except for my parents sitting at the ta
ble.” Sasha looked around her beloved shop, wondering if they would be able to put to rights all the damage inflicted in the battle. Tables lay splintered, glasses broken, and even one of the pretty stained-glass windows was shattered.
“We’ll fix it. Promise,” Seamus said, catching her look and patting her shoulder.
“What happened with your parents?” Maddox asked, concern in his eyes. He knew that she had often struggled with them.
“I think I needed to see them in a new light, and to release some old resentments that had hung on for too long. In the end, they gave me a clue.” Sasha shrugged. “Though it makes little sense to me.”
“What is it?” Declan asked.
She turned to look at him, then quickly looked away. My, but the man was sexy. Even more so after battle with adrenaline surging through her system. He looked all sorts of powerful, his hair mussed, his eyes predatory as they scanned the room.
“Sasha?” Bianca asked, and Sasha cursed herself as she pulled her eyes away from Declan.
“Go where the light always shines. The place. The place where the light always shines,” Sasha amended, annoyed with herself for feeling flustered.
“What could that mean?”
“Heaven?” Bianca wondered.
They all looked at her, and Bianca shrugged. “What? It was the first thing that popped into my head. I thought we were brainstorming here.”
“I think it needs to be a place we can go without, you know, dying to get there,” Maddox said.
Bianca smiled at him. “Fine, but I’m saying that answer would work in pub trivia.”
“Aside from answers to trivia night at the pub, anyone else have ideas?” Sasha asked, hands on hips as she continued to survey the damage to The Nest. It hurt her heart to see the place in shambles, but she trusted Seamus when he said they would fix it. Somehow.
“Hmmm, light always shines... a reflection? A mirror? Fire? The water? I know!” Bianca said, dancing around and waving her hands like she’d just won the lottery. “A lighthouse!”
They all paused at that.
Declan slanted Sasha a look.
“What does your gut say?”
She appreciated that he paused to check in with her and see how she felt, though it felt like incredible pressure on her shoulders to lead a mission she’d only recently learned she was a part of.
“It feels right,” Sasha finally said.
“Yes!” Bianca clapped.
“Now which lighthouse?”
“Oh,” Bianca said, looking so crestfallen that Sasha had to laugh.
“We’ll figure it out. For now, let’s move. It’s not safe to stay here,” Declan said, and they all filed out to the car. Sasha looked wistfully over her shoulder at the mess, but Maddox put his arm around her and steered her away.
“It’ll be made right. I promise.”
That was all she could hope for. It was the only place she’d ever really felt at home.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Sasha opted to stay in the car, and Declan remained with her while the other three ran into the market for provisions. They had yet to decide upon a direction for the night, but one thing they all agreed on was that they were ravenous.
Battle will do that to a body.
Sasha looked over at Declan. He was sprawled loosely on the seat, his broad shoulders and long legs taking up too much space, making her feel tiny in comparison. She’d slid across to the other side of the back seat so that she wasn’t tucked against him while they waited for everyone. Her mind seemed to wander when she was in close quarters with him and she needed to be focused.
The sooner they found this sword, the sooner she could move on with her life.
“What happened with your parents?” Declan asked and Sasha glowered at him. That was right, she had a question that was bothering her.
“How long did you say you’ve been protecting me for?” Sasha queried back, ignoring his question.
“A handful of years. Why?” Declan shrugged, not really answering the question.
“A handful is – what, three years? Five years? Fifteen years?” Sasha asked, crossing her arms and refusing to look away.
“A while. What does it matter?” Declan said, irritation flashing over his handsome face briefly. He’d smoothed his hair back into its band at the nape of his neck and his cheekbones stood out in the light that slanted through the windows. He was probably one of the most perfectly built men Sasha had ever seen. The more she was around him, the more she found herself catching her breath – just a quick inhale – when she remembered just how beautiful he was.
“I asked you a simple question. I don’t see why you can’t just answer it,” Sasha said, studying her nails for a moment before glancing back at him and waiting in silence.
“Since childhood,” Declan finally said, and Sasha straightened in shock.
“Excuse me? How could you have protected me when you were a child?”
“That is when training begins. Others go with to mentor you. It’s a rite of passage. But I’ve been along since I was about this high or so.” Declan held out a large palm to indicate height and shrugged again, clearly uncomfortable with the topic.
“You’ve known me my whole life? You’ve watched me? Oh! Even when I was so awkward? All by myself? Playing behind the walls? Fencing invisible enemies?” Sasha slapped a hand to her face and groaned. Talk about embarrassment. He’d probably seen her cry more than dozen times, or concoct imaginary friends to play with, or practice kissing on a pillow. Was there no end to her shame?
“You were the prettiest thing I’d ever seen. Still are,” Declan said softly.
Sasha peeked at him between her fingers. His eyes were on hers, the corners softened as he looked at her with what she could only assume was kindness.
Or pity for the lonely young girl.
“I feel at a distinct disadvantage knowing you’ve been watching me my whole life, yet I know nothing of yours,” Sasha said, her voice soft as she lowered her hands and looked at him.
“What do you want to know?”
“Where are you from? What is your family like? What would you be doing for a job if you didn’t do this? What is your favorite music? Do you like chocolate?” The questions tumbled out before Sasha even realized they were out of her mouth, and she snapped her lips shut as Declan started laughing.
“Fae love sweets. So, yes, I love chocolate. I’m from a part of Ireland not known to humans, but let’s say close to the Ring of Kerry. My family is loving, boisterous, and in each other’s business constantly. My parents are immensely proud that I’ve been chosen for this task and they brag to all who will still listen to them. If I didn’t do this, I would most likely do something on the water as I have a strong liking for the ocean. As for my favorite music, well, I’m partial to classic rock. There—did I answer all your questions?” Declan said, his grin flashing white in his face.
Sasha found herself feeling that funny little catch of breath again.
“So you’d be a sailor listening to Led Zeppelin and wooing all the ladies with your sweets?” Sasha asked lightly, but the image of him with a big happy family and loving the water tugged at her heart. This man had been following her for her entire life and knew her in a way that she wasn’t comfortable with. It was best for her to remind herself that he was fae – not human – and not try to fantasize about a relationship with him. Damn her hormones for making her want just a taste more of his touch. It was obvious she’d gone too long without dating someone, and certain of her more primal urges were in need of tending.
“Perhaps. But that is not my destiny. You are,” Declan said, his eyes on hers again.
“See, this is what I don’t get,” Sasha said, annoyed with him again. “You keep claiming that I’m your destiny, yet you aren’t interested in kissing me or dating me or anything like that. How can you possibly say I’m your destiny when you won’t even touch me?”
A smile flashed across Declan’s face, though a hungr
y look snuck into his eyes as he slowly ran his gaze up and down her body.
“So you want me to touch you then?”
“I didn’t say that!” Sasha squealed, and then tamped down on the screech in her voice. “I’m just saying that you’ve not made a move or anything. So I find it highly unlikely that I’m your destiny. It’s a little ridiculous. Especially considering that although you think you may know me, I don’t know you at all.”
“Good things come to those who wait,” Declan said.
Sasha actually clenched her fist as she thought about punching him. Just lightly. Maybe right in that smug face of his.
“Who says I’ll wait?”
Declan laughed at her and patted her knee gently. “You’ve got quite the sulk going on over there. Am I not paying enough attention to you? Maybe I need to spend more time letting you get to know me so you can get comfortable with the idea of us. Because once this mission is over, there will be an us.”
“There will be no us. I’ve decided not to pursue this. I’m certain you’ve heard the term ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’? Well, I don’t need to be turned down anymore. I’m no longer interested in you,” Sasha said, turning to stick her nose in the air and ignore him completely. What was taking them so long anyway? It’s not like they needed food for a party of twenty people.
She gasped as she was lifted, and in seconds found herself sprawled inelegantly across Declan’s lap, her legs straddling him, his hands at her waist as he took her lips in a punishing kiss. This kiss – oh, this kiss was all of him. Where before had been but a taste, now he poured all his heat into it and Sasha went dizzy against his chest as he held her, prisoner to his will, and erased every conscious thought from her head but one.
This man.
They broke apart, both panting, each slightly angry and more than aroused. Sasha slid awkwardly off of him and rushed back to the corner of the seat, crossing her arms over her chest to stare out the window again, refusing to touch her lips though they pulsed with wanting more of his kisses.
Sword Song: The Isle of Destiny Series Page 9
