Wallflower Diaries: The Beginning

by Raven Jane

  “What did you think, Simone?” Paul’s sudden appearance startled them both. Matt had to steady Simone’s glass in her hand to avoid a spill. Paul held out his hand and helped Simone to her feet. He over-compensated her weight and pulled her into him. Simone felt Paul’s excitement through his trousers. He smirked confidently but pulled away slightly when Matt slid his arm around her waist protectively. Paul continued to stare through Simone. “Well? What did you think? My father is always looking for new and interesting acts and this was their audition.”

  Simone could not be more uncomfortable in the moment, virtually sandwiched between Paul and Matt with her hormones raging in response to the performance she’d just witnessed. It took several moments to formulate an appropriate answer. “I thought it was interesting. They clearly have some talent to be so believable in their actions but I would want to see what else they are capable of before giving my answer.”

  Paul and Matt broke into laughter. “Well said, Simone, well said.” Paul continued to chuckle as he walked off.

  “What did I say?” Simone looked up to Matt, confused.

  “His father is in the adult entertainment industry.” Matt’s mixed amusement and disgust softened the blow.

  “Really?” Simone wondered about Paul even more. “I had no idea.”

  “Among other things.” Matt took her wine glass and set it on a nearby table. “He’s made good money in the entertainment business in general but a portion of his wealth has been obtained through less than honorable industries. In fact, Paul’s stepmother is an ex-actress of the adult variety.” Matt nodded toward the far side of the room where Kyra was entertaining a throng of guests.

  “No! Really?” Simone forced her eyes from the petite woman to Matt’s face. “I thought she was Paul’s date for the night, his girlfriend or something.”

  Matt’s eyes darkened for a moment and then his usual congenial grin returned. “You would think so the way they carry on but no, she is definitely married to Paul’s father and he lets everyone know.” Matt shifted his weight uncomfortably and took Simone’s hand rather brusquely. “Let’s get out of here, I’m tired all of a sudden and it’s a big game tomorrow. Okay?”

  “Yeah, okay.” Simone barely kept her footing as Matt pulled her across the room and out the front door without so much as a farewell to their hosts. “Matt, slow down. What’s going on?”

  He didn’t say a word until they made it to the truck and she was settled in the passenger seat. Matt hopped in the driver’s side and slammed the door behind him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Brushing a loose tendril from her face, Matt ran his thumb lightly down her cheek. “I promise, I will not hurt you and I will not let anyone else hurt you either.”

  “Matt?” Simone suddenly felt uneasy, the intensity of his stare more than she expected on a first date.

  “My ex-girlfriend was in there. She wasn’t supposed to be here.” Matt threw the car in reverse and peeled out of the parking spot. “She isn’t right. The break up did not go well. I don’t think she even goes to school here.” He continued to mutter to himself and right then Simone wanted nothing more than to curl up in her bed.

  “I’m sorry, Matt. I really am.” Simone reached out to take his hand but he recoiled.

  “I think I should just take you home.” Matt put both hands on the steering wheel, his knuckles appearing white in the low light and his jaw set so as to give him a harsh appearance.

  “Okay.” Simone whispered in a small voice, not sure what to make of the night’s developments. Her mind drifted to the performance once more. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, the rolling excitement in her gut a reminder of what she was missing. Yes, going home may be the best idea.

  *******************************

  Matt didn’t call the next day but Simone was so busy with cheerleading duties and her parents that she brushed it off. They won the game convincingly so everybody was in high spirits, even Irene who was of course very curious about Simone’s evening and what happened after the benefit. Simone kept her answers short and for once garnered nothing but praise and positive reinforcement from her mother. They stayed out too late with her father’s former teammates and woke up late at the hotel. Her mother didn’t even force them to attend church services claiming a headache of her own. They did however have to attend brunch with the alumni association but thankfully it passed in a blur. Before she knew it, Simone was sitting alone in her dorm again. She’d survived Homecoming weekend. Exhausted, she slipped into bed and caught up on some much needed television time. Josephine’s bed appeared untouched and Simone wondered if her roommate stopped in at all over the weekend.

  Just as she was dozing off, Simone’s cell phone rang. She groaned and stumbled out of bed to snatch it off her desk. “Hello?”

  “Simone?” Matt’s voice greeted her, warm and affectionate as it had been most of Friday night.

  “Hi, Matt.” Simone tried to sound as nonchalant as possible against the thousands of questions blooming in her suddenly alert mind.

  “I’m sorry about the other night.” He paused but she did not respond, “And I’m sorry I didn’t seek you out this weekend. I was with my family and every time I saw you it seemed a bad time to interrupt and…” he trailed off.

  “It’s okay, Matt. I get it. We had fun but you were just an escort for the night.” Suppressing a sigh, Simone picked at the corner of her desk where a part of the trim was peeling away.

  “No, that’s not it at all. I want to see you again. I was calling to see if you would have dinner with me tomorrow.”

  “Oh. Well, I have class until four and practice until six-thirty….” It was Simone’s turn to trail off.

  “Can I pick you up at seven?” Matt sounded eager, hopeful maybe?

  “Yeah, that would be okay. Pick me up at the athletic center.” She could grab a quick shower and do something with her hair that way. “We aren’t going anywhere crazy, are we?”

  “Nah, I have practice too. I was thinking a burger and fries. Unless you became a vegetarian in the last forty eight hours?” Matt’s smile was evident through the phone. God, she really could like him.

  “Nope, not that I’m aware of.” Simone smiled into her receiver. “See you tomorrow, Matt.”

  “Sweet Dreams, Simone.”

  The line went dead but Simone stared at the phone for a minute. She really needed to get some sleep. Who knew what she would get into tomorrow night?

  *************************

  Classes passed by in a blur and cheerleading practice was a tedious work out with more giggling than cheering after the extra-exciting weekend. They ended up calling practice early and Simone made a beeline for the locker room but Veronica stepped in her path.

  “Where are you going in such a rush?” The older girl stared pointedly at Simone as if daring her to lie about her plans.

  “I have a date.” Sheepishly, Simone inched toward the locker room but Veronica stepped with her effectively blocking her escape.

  “With whom?” Veronica raised an eyebrow, clearly interested.

  “Matt.” Simone squared her shoulders and held the older girl’s gaze.

  “Really? Now I would have thought Paul.” Veronica tilted her head and adjusted her gym bag. “Playing both sides of the coin, I see?”

  “What do you mean?” Now Simone was confused. Why Paul? She’d spent Friday with Matt and the rest of the weekend with her parents. How had Paul factored in?

  “Well, everybody knows you went out with Paul on Saturday. He said you were a lot of fun and he expected to see you again.” Veronica smiled slyly. “Kudos, girl, he’s the catch of the year according to the squad.”

  “Wait! I spent Saturday with my parents. I haven’t seen Paul since Friday and I was with Matt the whole time!” The room seemed to shrink and Simone felt faint.

  “Oh dear.” The vicious glint in Veronica’s eye was momentary but Simone caught it. “I mean, what will Matt say? We have to fix th
is.” Veronica looped her arm through Simone and dragged her back to the remnants of their squad. “Girls! Listen up! Simone has NOT done anything with Paul; the lying dog pranked us again.”

  A handful of titters could be heard amongst the reassurances and Simone guessed the girls were evenly split on believing her. Not good. If they all knew then surely the football team knew which meant Matt would know. Would he even be waiting for her now? Who would have started such a rumor?

  “There, there, Simone. Everything will be ironed out. The girls will squash the rumors and you can go back to being a good girl. ‘Kay?” Veronica’s high pitched voice reminded Simone of her own mother’s biting tone when somebody crossed her. It seemed likely that she’d offended her “big sister” somehow and was about to pay the price. With a heavy heart, Simone nodded numbly and slunk off to the showers. She would just have to explain to Matt and hope he understood. So long as he believed her the rest didn’t matter. Simone could withstand ugly rumors but she didn’t want to lose Matt. By the time she was clean and groomed, Simone had convinced herself everything would work out alright. When she emerged from the bathrooms he was indeed waiting for her, a grim expression on his face.

  “Hey, Simone.”

  “Hi Matt!” Simone made a show of rushing forward and throwing her arms around his neck. She gave him a peck on the cheek and pulled back to examine him. “I am so happy to see you. I have had the worst day.”

  “Me too.” His dull tone and short answers said everything.

  “Matt, I didn’t go out with Paul. I swear. I was with Mom and Dad all night. I even stayed in their hotel room, I swear. There were some other guys from the football team there with their parents too.” Simone stared at him, square in the eye like her Dad had taught her. Jack Pierce believed that if you looked somebody in the eye with a sober expression and told your truth that they would believe you.

  Surprise and doubt washed over Matt’s face as they stood silently staring at each other for several moments, each dragging on longer than the next. Simone didn’t back down. Finally, he responded. “Okay. Let’s say I believe you. Why would Paul say he was with you if he wasn’t?”

  Simone had already thought of that and still didn’t have an answer. She’d puzzled over it for half her shower, recalled the unsettling way he stared her down at the party and in the end still couldn’t’. “I don’t know, Matt. I swear that I met him for the first time on Friday and I haven’t seen or heard from him since. I was hoping to hear from you and when you called I was ecstatic. Really, I was.” Simone forced a smile. “Please, can we just forget these ugly rumors and get some food like we planned?” In truth, the rumors really bothered her, but she was working on it. She wanted to not care what others thought of her which was difficult when Irene had trained her to care. Standing with Matt made her feel brave and she resolved to ignore the insinuations and have a good time if he was willing.

  Matt seemed to give in, his shoulders relaxed. “Fair enough, Simone. Let’s go.” He took her hand as they walked out of the athletic center, ignoring the handful of cheerleaders and football players who watched with interest. Matt held her hand in silence as they walked the half dozen blocks to the main drag which was littered with local joints, all stereotypical of a college town. They relied heavily on the college providing less than savory meals which sent the students running their way in droves.

  The small diner uptown was half full of college students, half full of locals with an old juke box in the corner playing classics from eras before Simone’s birth. A young girl seated them at a booth near the window, one of the few remaining. She could have stared a hole through Matt and in the end smiled sheepishly while assuring them a waitress would be along shortly. Simone caught her looking back several times as she walked back to the small hostess stand. Within moments two cloudy glasses of ice water landed on their table as a middle-aged, seemingly exhausted waitress with heavy blue eye shadow and grotesquely rouged cheeks lazily asked what she could get for drinks.

  “Could we have a moment please?” Matt responded politely enough but the waitress sighed in annoyance and tossed their menus on the table with more force than necessary nearly knocking over Simone’s water. She walked off muttering under her breath as Matt righted the tottering glass. “What circus do you suppose she was fired from?” They broke into laughter and the rest of the night went off naturally and without further mention of the rumors. Simone relaxed into her seat and enjoyed the night with her gorgeous date. He smiled readily and they discussed football, movies and music. Before she even realized it, Simone had polished off an entire burger and two thirds of her fries without an ounce of self-consciousness over eating so much in front of a date. Her mother would be mortified. Simone mentally shrugged and ran another fry through her ketchup, relishing the greasy flavor as a secret affront to her mother.

  “Ready to go?” Matt took a drink of water and nodded toward the door.

  “Yep.” Simone wasn’t exactly ready for things to end but the diner was winding down and Bozo the waitress had hinted, less than subtly that she was ready to clock out. Matt settled their bill, insisting on paying for everything no matter what Simone argued. In the end he won out with the argument that he asked her out for dinner so it was his treat.

  “Can I walk you back to your dorm?” Matt held the door open allowing Simone to exit first.

  “I’d like that very much.” Perhaps she could invite him in. The likelihood of Josephine being home was next to nil so it was indeed an option. Maybe it was time to put her plan into effect and see if having a partner would change her take on things. She couldn’t think of anybody better than Matt and pushed aside her nagging worries. It was time to grow up. Who went to college a virgin and remained one? Nobody she knew apparently.

  “I wanted to apologize again for the other night.” Matt avoided looking at her as he spoke. She’d been perfectly content ignoring that subject but apparently he disagreed. Simone watched his jawline and studied the part of his face she could see in hopes that he would turn to look at her. He didn’t. “My ex-girlfriend is not – well – she’s not right. We dated in high school for a few months and then she got really strange and wanted me to do things to her. It was uncomfortable and some of it was kind of sick and when I told her as much she got really angry. I ended it and she didn’t take that well. She kind of went off the rails if you know what I mean. Weird things happened after that. I found a dead cat on my car, maggots in my locker, and worst of all, she physically threatened anybody I asked on a date. It was awful.” Matt’s shoulders slumped. “I didn’t know she came here, I really didn’t. Her family doesn’t have much money and she didn’t do well in school. She dropped out of all her extra-curriculars and started dressing different. For a while, people thought I did something to her. Maybe she told them I did. I don’t know.” Matt exhaled and stopped, pulling her to standstill beside him. He looked down on her, his eyes full of concern and regret, “I didn’t want her to hone in on you. I’m sorry. I reacted badly. You are the first person I have really wanted to spend time with and I was afraid she would ruin it.”

  Simone rocked back on her heels. Not what she expected to hear. “She put a dead cat on your car? Maggots in your locker? Wow. You weren’t kidding. She must be crazy.”

  “Yeah. She really is unbalanced.” Matt frowned.

  “Unbalanced?” Simone asked. “I think you can call her batshit crazy with a resume like that.”

  Matt looked up at her, a grin breaking over his face. “I like that. Batshit crazy.”

  “It’s okay, Matt. I get it. And I’m sorry about the stuff with Paul. I swear I have not gone out with him and I have no interest in ever going out with him. Cross my heart.” Simone mimicked drawing a cross over her heart and grinned up at him.

  “I think I knew that.” Matt touched her shoulder, slid his hand up the side of her neck and cupped her chin. “So, we’re okay then?” He leaned closer, dropping his own gym bag to the ground. His free hand foun
d her waist and Simone released her bag to the ground. She nodded. Matt took her lips in his, soft, warm and feather-light. Simone felt weak in her knees, something new and unexpected. He didn’t try to force his tongue in her mouth but Simone separated her lips just enough to flick her own into his just to test the waters. Matt pulled her closer and responded in kind, gently massaging her tongue with his as his fingers traipsed up and down her side, not quite daring to grope anywhere near her breast but travelling dangerously close. Simone’s body reacted to Matt’s advances, arching toward him as their kiss deepened and then he withdrew. “Sorry. We shouldn’t do this here.”

  Simone looked around. She’d been so caught up in Matt that she hadn’t realized they stood in the middle of the main quad with dozens of spectators. Sheepishly, she bent down and picked up her bag. “I don’t think anybody really noticed.”

  “I suppose it doesn’t matter if they did. I am not ashamed.” Matt brushed her cheek with his thumb.

  “Me either.” Simone turned toward her dorms and took a few steps without him before looking back. Matt hadn’t moved. “I thought you were walking me to my dorm?”

  “Indeed, M’lady.” He stooped into a dramatic bow and picked up the dropped bag. When he caught up with her they were both smiling foolishly. Matt slipped his hand in hers and squeezed. She returned the gesture and they fell into stride.

  As they walked in silence, Simone contemplated the pros and cons of inviting Matt into her room. On one hand she wanted him; on the other hand, she wanted him. After that kiss her body was practically on fire with want but how far did she really want to go? What if it turned out to be too fast for her but he would want it all the time? What if he thought she was too forward? Simone fought to clear her head and ultimately left it up to Matt’s reaction. When they reached the lobby of Simone’s dorm, she kissed Matt on the cheek. “Thank you for tonight.” He didn’t look disappointed and leaned into brush his lips across her cheek before flashing his gleaming smile.