The Midwife's Dream

by Kelly Irvin

  “Is that Nana’s truck? It is. It’s Nana’s truck.” Jessica wrapped Iris in a quick, fierce hug. “It’s her truck. Is she here?”

  “Yes, she’s here. She was looking for you.”

  “I was in Dallas with Quinn, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stand being away from my baby.”

  “Where’s Quinn?” Iris looked over Jessica’s shoulder at Mahon. He shrugged, then cocked his head toward the house. Iris nodded. “Let’s go inside. You can tell me the whole story.”

  “Where’s my baby?”

  “Sleeping. With your grandmother. She got here a few hours ago.”

  “I had to get my baby back.” Jessica’s voice broke. “Quinn wouldn’t bring me back so I hitchhiked.”

  The idea of a young girl accepting rides from strangers all the way from Texas to Missouri made Iris’s stomach twist. She put her arm around Jessica and led her up the steps to the house. Mahon followed. “I’m so glad you made it safely.”

  “The truckers were mostly nice. One dropped me off on the highway right by the turnoff to Mahon’s house. I walked the rest of the way. Mahon’s was closer, and I knew since he’s your boyfriend—”

  “Let’s go inside.” Iris held the screen. “Are you hungry? I’ll fix you something to eat.”

  “I just want to hold my baby and tell her how sorry I am. I want to tell Nana how sorry I am.”

  The tears came in buckets. Iris hugged her again. “You’ll scare Lilly and your nana. Dry your tears first, okay?”

  Jessica nodded. She hiccupped one more sob, then wiped her face with her sleeve.

  “Don’t mind me.” Mahon sank into the nearest chair and heaved a sigh. “I’ll wait here.”

  Together, Iris and Jessica walked down the hall to the bedroom. Iris held up the kerosene lamp and opened the door. Jessica tiptoed across the room to the cradle. “Baby, my baby,” she murmured. “I’ve missed you, baby.”

  She scooped up Lilly and wrapped her in her arms, tight against her chest. Iris opened her mouth to protest. The baby had never slept this long uninterrupted. She closed her mouth. Her job had ended. Soon they would say good-bye and go about their business as if they’d never met. As if she’d never mothered this baby as if she were her own.

  “You’re so beautiful. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” Jessica crooned. “I’m here now, baby, I’m here. I’ll never leave you again. I promise.”

  “Jessie, is that you?” Sherri sat up in bed. “Are you really here? Where have you been, girl?”

  “Nana, I’m so sorry.” Jessica didn’t move. “I’ve missed you so much. Forgive me?”

  “I’m just so glad you’re safe. I was afraid you were dead.” Relief mingled with tears filled Sherri’s voice. “Get over here so I can hug your neck.”

  Sobbing, Jessica rushed to the bed where more crying ensued.

  Lilly wailed.

  “Oh, you poor thing, we woke you.” Sherri patted the baby’s cheek. “You’re okay. Your mommy’s here now.”

  Mommy’s here now.

  Lilly’s wails turned to screams.

  Both women looked at Iris. She tightened her grip on the lantern and her emotions. “She’s always cranky when she wakes up. She’s probably hungry. I’ll get her a bottle.”

  “No, you’ve done enough. I have to figure out how to do this.” Jessica rocked Lilly back and forth, then lifted her to her shoulder and began to pat her back. The wails subsided to a low roar.

  “Thank you so much for taking care of my baby.” Jessica’s voice wobbled. “It was so wrong of me to dump her on you like that. I’m not a bad person. I just got confused for a little bit. I promise I’ll take good care of her from now on.”

  “I believe you.” Iris took a deep breath and let it out. Her time with Lilly had ended. “You’re her mother. You’ll do fine.”

  “We’ll go into the sheriff ’s office tomorrow.” Sherri patted the spot next to her on the bed, and Jessica slid under the blankets next to her. “We’ll face the music and make this right, whatever it takes. Me and Jessie together.”

  They had a long road ahead of them. The legal system was a mystery to Iris. “I’ll pray for you, all of you.”

  She would pray for God’s will and God’s grace and for Lilly’s safe journey through this world. And for Quinn. Babies needed both their moms and their dads.

  “Thank you, Iris.” Sherri nodded, her wrinkled face streaked with tears. “You’re a good girl. You’ll be a good mother to your babies.”

  In God’s time.

  “We’ll send you pictures,” Jessica added. “Lots of pictures. You’ll be like an aunt. She can come visit and learn about farm animals. You can teach her to make baby quilts.”

  Aenti Iris.

  “I would like that.”

  Iris backed out of the room and shut the door. She let her hands drop and stood there, in the middle of the hall, trying to identify the feelings that tumbled around in her brain.

  Lilly had her mother. Her true mother. And her nana.

  Every baby should have a nana to tuck her in for an afternoon nap, tell her stories, teach her songs, and hear her prayers.

  The ache in Iris’s throat was the preamble to acceptance and peace. A kind of contentment that all was as it should be. She whirled and trotted to the living room. Mahon rose from the chair. He held out his arms. She walked into them and leaned her head against his chest. His heart beat in a comforting thump-thump. His hands rubbed her back in a soothing circular pattern. “Who is Nana?”

  “Jessica’s groossmammi. She raised her. She is willing to help raise Lilly too.”

  “Then Gott’s will be done.”

  Iris snuggled closer. “That’s what I keep telling myself, but sometimes it’s impossible to know, isn’t it?”

  “Come outside with me.” He stepped back, grabbed her hand, and tugged her toward the door. “I want to show you something.”

  Outside, she scurried to keep up as he tromped down the steps and strode across the yard. He stopped at the corral fence. “Have a seat.” He patted the railing, then put both hands on her waist and lifted her so she sat on the fence. “Hang on.”

  Her mind still grappling with the feeling of his hands on her hips, she managed to do as she was told.

  He settled next to her and inhaled a deep breath, then exhaled in a noisy sigh. “It’s a beautiful night.”

  “It is.”

  “Mudder and bopli are together again.”

  “As they should be.”

  “Yet you have regrets.”

  “Not exactly regrets. It’s been a strange time in my life, but a special time. An uncertain time.” She struggled for words that could describe the bittersweet feelings that engulfed her. “I’m happy I had this time with Lilly. I’ll always love her, but I know this is what’s best for her.”

  “There is something you don’t have to be uncertain about.”

  “What’s that?”

  His big hand covered hers on the fence railing. His fingers tightened. “Me.”

  She felt his smile as much as saw it in the moonlight. She felt it in the warmth of that single syllable. “You?”

  “Do you ever look at the stars?”

  “Sometimes, but mostly the moon.”

  “The light of the moon is only a reflection of the sun’s light. It has no light of its own. I like the stars better. They make their own light. And there are so many. All made by Gott. I don’t feel alone when I look at them.”

  She let her gaze follow his finger pointing at the sky. “They’re beautiful.”

  His words penetrated. In his huge, overflowing family, he’d been lonely. She inched closer to him. “You don’t have to sketch pictures of me anymore. I’m right here.”

  “It’s still hard for me to believe. I waited a long time.” His voice was low, barely a hoarse whisper. He took her hand and pointed her finger toward the sky. “Do you see the Little Dipper? At the tip of the handle is the North Star. Polaris. Some people think it is th
e brightest star, but it’s not. Sirius is the brightest star.”

  “Why do the stars interest you so much?” She leaned against his shoulder and stared at the Milky Way, trying to see what he saw. “Your feet are on the ground, but your head is in the sky.”

  “Gott made the heavens and the earth. I’m awestruck by His power.” Mahon’s hand brushed against her cheek. He leaned in, and his warm breath touched her face. He smelled of peppermint. “He made man and then He made woman to keep man company.”

  The pounding of her heart increased. The cool night air turned warm as if spring had turned to summer. “I reckon He had a gut plan.”

  “I reckon He’s happy you think so.” Mahon chuckled, a husky, sweet sound. The air warmed even more. Summer in the midst of spring. “Like He needed our approval.”

  “Nee, I just meant life would be sad and empty if we didn’t have that one person we were meant to share it with.”

  “You thought that person was Aidan.”

  “But I was wrong.” She sought Mahon’s hand and held it tight. “We hear over and over in sermons from the time we’re old enough to understand that Gott has a plan. That we can’t fathom it. We can only trust and obey. Everything that has happened to me over the last few years tells me the truth of the matter. Gott had a plan for me. Not the one I asked for. The one He has, the one that is best for me. And it is gut.”

  “This plan. It includes me?”

  “Jah.”

  “Gut.” He slid from the fence and faced her. “I lieb you. I have always known that we were meant to be together. You haven’t known as long, so I won’t rush you, but I want you to know I plan to marry you someday soon.”

  “That’s gut.” Iris hopped down and stepped into his space. “That’s gut because someday I plan to marry you right back.”

  He laughed as he bent down. His lips sought hers. The kiss, long and sweet and sure, sealed the promise. She reveled in the taste and feel of his mouth, the way his huge, callused hands cupped her face with a gentle touch.

  She reached up and tugged his glasses from his face. His eyelids fluttered open. He ducked his head. “Why’d you do that?”

  “I like seeing your eyes. Without the glasses, I can see all the way to your heart.”

  He shrugged, his expression pensive. “They don’t work well. I can’t see a thing without the glasses.”

  She gently returned them to their place on his nose. “That’s okay. I don’t want other people to see what I see.” She leaned into him, inhaling his scent of man, and smiled. “Mudder has a crib quilt her mudder gave to her. It’s been passed down for generations. One day it’ll be mine.”

  Mahon’s arms tightened around Iris. His Adam’s apple bobbed. He cleared his throat. “And one day you’ll give it to our daughter.”

  Together, they turned and stared at the sky, endless in its beauty and possibilities. Together, they would forge a life that would fulfill her dream of being a wife and a mother. She would have babies of her own to love. Her dream and God’s plan, bright as the evening stars, were one and the same.

  DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  1.Most Amish don’t believe in having their photos taken. Their objection is based in scripture regarding “graven images.” They also believe it’s a form of idolatry that grows from vanity. This extends to Mahon’s hand-drawn portraits of Iris. In the mainstream world, we’ve become handy with phone “selfies” and most people think nothing of regular posting of these photos on social media. Do you see any harm in this easy, instant access to photos and their online use? Why or why not? Does it have an impact on our sense of who we are and how “important” we are in the eyes of others? What impact do you think it has on children growing up in a “selfie” world?

  2.Iris can’t understand how Jessica can leave her newborn baby with a stranger. She says an Amish mother would never abandon or give up a baby, considered a gift from God under any circumstance. Jessica’s grandma has found a couple who cannot have a baby who want to adopt her great-grandchild. They could provide a better home for the baby. Who do you think is right? Why? Is there room for both views in this complicated world we live in?

  3.Cyrus is uncomfortable that Iris has brought a young unwed couple and their baby into his home. He’s concerned for the example they set for his young children who live in the household. Do you believe children should be exposed to circumstances in which others have not lived up to God’s commands or should they be taught these lessons in less obvious ways? Have you ever been influenced to do something you know is wrong because you spent time with friends who aren’t Christians? What did you learn from that experience?

  4.Iris spent three years courting with Aidan and waiting for him to propose to her. She prayed for God’s plan to be revealed to her. In the meantime, Mahon was waiting for her to notice his feelings for her. Have you ever been certain you know God’s plan for you, only to discover you were on the wrong path all along? How did you deal with it? What are some ways we can try to discern God’s plan for us?

  5.Do you think Jessica and her grandmother are making the right choice when they decide to keep Lilly?

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I am thankful for so many blessings that it’s hard to order my thoughts when it comes to acknowledgments. My thanks to God for richly rewarding me with these opportunities to write these stories. My thanks to HarperCollins Christian Publishing for allowing me to be a part of this novella collection. I’m so thankful for every HCCP staff member who had a hand in bringing this particular story to fruition, but especially editors Becky Monds and Jodi Hughes. Their attention to detail and love of a good story inspire me. I couldn’t keep writing if it weren’t for my husband Tim’s support and love. He cooks, buys groceries, does laundry, takes out the trash, and cleans the cat box. That is true love. I’m thankful for readers who spend their hard-earned funds to buy books. I pray that this story blesses each one of you. I look forward to sharing many more stories with you in the future. God bless!

  Read more from the Amish Heirloom collection!

  Available as an e-book

  OTHER BOOKS BY KELLY IRVIN

  EVERY AMISH SEASONS NOVELS

  Upon A Spring Breeze

  Beneath the Summer Sun

  Through the Autumn Air

  (available April 2018)

  THE AMISH OF BEE COUNTY NOVELS

  The Beekeeper’s Son

  The Bishop’s Son

  The Saddle Maker’s Son

  NOVELLAS

  A Christmas Visitor included in

  An Amish Christmas Gift

  Sweeter than Honey included

  in An Amish Market

  Snow Angels included in An

  Amish Christmas Love

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Kelly Irvin is the author of several Amish series including the Bliss Creek Amish series, the New Hope Amish series, and the Amish of Bee County series. She has also penned two romantic suspense novels, A Deadly Wilderness and No Child of Mine. The Kansas native is a graduate of the University of Kansas School of Journalism. She has been writing nonfiction professionally for more than thirty years, including ten years as a newspaper reporter, mostly in Texas-Mexico border towns. A retired public relations professional, Kelly has been married to photographer Tim Irvin for twenty-nine years. They have two children, two grandchildren, and two cats. In her spare time, she likes to write short stories and read books by her favorite authors.