His Love Endures Forever

by Beth Wiseman

  “Spit it out. What is it?”

  “I need to know if you love Katie Ann’s sohn as much as your other kinner?” Levi drew in a breath. “I mean, since Jonas isn’t yours.”

  Eli was quiet for a long while before he pointed to the front porch. “Let’s sit.”

  Levi followed him to the rockers. They each sat down, and Eli looped his thumbs beneath his suspenders.

  “Levi, listen to me closely, sohn.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “Answering your question . . . ya, I lieb Jonas as much as mei other kinner. And if you wed Danielle, you will love the boppli as your very own. But this is not the issue. Leaving the faith is. If you have come to quiz my mind about loving a child, well . . . children are a blessing from God, however they might fall into our lives.” He shook his head. “But leaving to live in the Englisch world is something I’m not sure you have thought through.”

  “But I’m not baptized. I have the right to choose.” Even though Levi said the words with confidence, his heart hurt as each one left his lips.

  “Ya, you do. It is your choice. But I would not be a gut friend and cousin to you if I did not warn you about this big decision.” He faced Levi. “Do you love Danielle enough to give up all of this?” Eli waved a hand across the prairie in front of him, the house behind him. “A life within our community?”

  Levi swallowed hard again as he recalled Danielle’s tears, the kisses they’d shared. “I love her,” he said softly. “I’m closer to her than I am to anyone.”

  “But do you love her in the marriage way? Are you committed to living in the Englisch world with her, raising her child as your own, and taking care of your family?”

  Levi sighed, then stood up. “I have to go. I just wanted to know if you loved Jonas as much as your other children.” He couldn’t stand to hear any more negative thoughts about what he was getting ready to do. It was hard enough. He thanked his cousin, then made his way to his buggy.

  Maybe it just wasn’t in God’s plan for him to be Amish.

  Eight

  MARTHA WASN’T SURPRISED TO SEE THE MATRIARCH of the Detweiler household standing on the doorstep early Saturday morning. With dreaded anticipation of Vera’s visit, Martha had gotten up early, dressed, and applied her makeup. She’d barely secured her butterfly clip when she heard three crisp knocks on the door. She was glad Arnold and Danielle had offered to do the grocery shopping, a task Martha didn’t cherish.

  “Come in, Vera,” Martha said as she pulled the door wide.

  Vera marched through the door with her jaw thrust forward and her lips pinched together. Her black apron was unusually wrinkled atop a dark purple dress, and strands of brown hair hung from beneath her prayer covering.

  Martha closed the door and motioned for Vera to sit down on the couch, but Vera held her stiff position in the middle of the room.

  “Please tell me that you are not happy about this situation with Levi and Danielle.”

  Martha folded into her recliner. “Good grief, Vera. Can you please just sit down? Let’s try and discuss this as the friends we are.”

  Vera huffed a bit, but finally took a seat, folding her hands in her lap as she sat on the edge of the couch. “I don’t know what Danielle did to convince Levi to marry her, but—”

  “No, no, no.” Martha straightened in her chair and pointed a finger at Vera. “If you want to talk about this in a civil manner, Vera, then we will. But you will not come into my home and talk any smack about Danielle.” It seemed fitting to toss one of Danielle’s own words in Vera’s direction. “Now, shall we start again?”

  Vera took a deep breath. “Martha, they’re not in lieb. They’re friends. That doesn’t make a marriage. You know that.”

  Martha knew Vera was right, but only partly. And she tried to keep in mind that Vera was hurting. “I know those two kids haven’t been romantically involved, Vera. But they do love each other. And I think we’ve both always known that.” Martha leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs. “You’re upset because Levi is choosing not to be baptized and remain Amish.”

  Vera threw up her arms. “Of course I am. Levi has always wanted to abide by the Ordnung and raise his kinner in our faith, and I don’t know what Danielle said to—” She stopped abruptly. “What are we going to do? Surely you’re not happy about this either. Levi barely makes enough money to provide for himself, and Danielle is so young.” She shook her head. “It wonders me why they’re doing this. I thought Levi would end up marrying Sarah Troyer.”

  Martha rocked slightly in the chair. “Honestly, Vera, I’m not particularly happy about it. They’re rushing into it.”

  “Ya! They are!” The hint of a smile touched Vera’s lips.

  “I wish they would wait.” Martha shrugged. “But I do think some of the best marriages start out when two people are best friends first. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but that’s my thinking about all this. But the bottom line is that they’re grown-ups. It’s really up to them.”

  “Danielle is only eighteen, and I know you’re not her mother, Martha, but you’re the closest thing she has. She’s still a baby.”

  Martha laughed. “Oh, give me a break, Vera. Your people are always getting married at eighteen, and sometimes even younger. So don’t try to use that argument.” Martha uncrossed her legs and leaned forward. “You can’t control Levi. If he chooses to do this, then you can’t stop him. I questioned Danielle about all of this and asked her if she realized what a sacrifice it was for Levi.” Martha paused. “Did you know that Danielle offered to convert?”

  “No. Levi didn’t mention that. I asked him why they didn’t wait a year or two and give Danielle time to learn the Ordnung. Remember how Lillian studied before she was baptized and married Samuel? I just wish they’d give it more time.”

  Martha twisted her mouth from one side to the other, shaking her head. “I guess they’re in a hurry because of the baby.”

  “What baby?” Vera jumped off the couch as she grabbed her chest.

  Oops. “Uh-oh. I guess I just assumed they mentioned that.” Martha squeezed her eyes closed for a few seconds, then stood up and walked toward Vera. “Breathe, Vera. You’re going to hyperventilate.”

  Once Vera did take a breath, she almost choked. Then she flopped back down on the couch. “A baby? I can’t believe Levi wouldn’t be more responsible than this. Didn’t we teach him anything? How could he do this? And I thought they were only friends.” She gasped. “And what about poor Sarah? Levi’s been carting her to Sunday singings, and all the while he’s been playing hanky-panky with Danielle.”

  “Oh boy.” Martha covered her eyes with her hand. This was surely going to bring on one of her headaches later. She eased her hand away and took a deep breath. “Uh, Vera . . . the baby isn’t exactly Levi’s.”

  Vera’s mouth pulled into a sour grin as her eyebrows lifted. “What do you mean, exactly? Either it is or it isn’t.”

  Martha sat back down and shifted uneasily in her chair. “Danielle was dating a guy in Alamosa.” She pointed a finger at Vera. “One of your people. He got her pregnant and then ran off. He decided he doesn’t want to be Amish or a father.”

  Vera just sat with her mouth open, so Martha went on.

  “Vera, there is a baby coming into the world, a blessing, and even though this isn’t what we expected for the kids, it’s—”

  “How dare you.” Vera stood up and walked toward Martha. “Don’t act like Danielle is your daughter. She’s a runaway who broke into your home and you took her in. I have been raising Levi for twenty-two years.” She swiped at her eyes, but that didn’t soften the anger in her voice. “He is my sohn, and everything we have hoped and dreamed for him is slipping away because of an Englisch girl who got herself pregnant. Levi only wants to save his friend. And you are willing to let him!” She threw her hands in the air again.

  Martha stood up, wishing Vera would just keep her seat. This up-and-down business was killing her back. “You know, Vera, I’
m going to let you get away with most of that because I know how upset you are. But I love Danielle as if she were my own. She’s had a hard life. You know her history. Perhaps . . . perhaps this is the new start she needs. Can you for one moment try to picture the two of them together, raising a child? They’ll be right down the street. They’ll probably still go to the Amish worship service, and you can’t shun Levi because he hasn’t been baptized.”

  Vera stared at Martha for a long while. “You think you know everything about our ways because we have opened our hearts to you. But you don’t know nearly as much as you think. And if Levi marries Danielle, he is no longer my sohn.”

  Martha put both hands on her hips and glared at Vera. “For a group of people who claim that only God can judge, you sure are full of it this morning, Vera. You’d disown your own son because he didn’t do what you want?”

  Vera took a deep breath. “Nee. I would disown my son because he walked away from the Lord, whether he realizes it or not, by being with this girl. She doesn’t have a strong faith, and he is unequally yoked with her.”

  “I dislike that term, Vera. Unequally yoked. We are all the same in the Lord’s eyes.”

  Vera turned around and walked to the door.

  “Oh, Vera, don’t go. Let’s talk this through.”

  But Vera slammed the door behind her.

  Martha opened the door and yelled the first thing that came to her mind. “You’re not acting very Amish, Vera!”

  DANIELLE’S STOMACH GROWLED as she and Arnold unloaded groceries. Arnold had tried to do the task on his own, but Danielle assured him she was quite able to help. But that was Arnold, always chivalrous. She smiled to herself. Like Levi.

  They were making their last trip inside when Levi pulled up in his buggy. Arnold went on ahead, and Danielle waited for Levi to hitch his horse to the fence post.

  “You’re just in time for lunch.”

  Levi took the bag of groceries she was holding and followed her toward the house. “Did you tell Arnold and Martha—about us?”

  Danielle turned around, and Levi’s face was pale as he slowed his steps. “Yes. They’re okay.” She faced him on the porch before they went inside. “What about your parents?” She cringed, knowing Vera probably freaked out.

  Levi took a deep breath. “It could have gone better.” He offered up a shy smile that seemed forced to Danielle.

  “We don’t have to do this, Levi.” Martha’s words echoed in Danielle’s head. “It’s a noble gesture, but it’s a huge sacrifice. Do you realize how much?” She bit her lip, thinking they’d covered everything related to their choice, but she wanted Levi to be sure.

  “I want to marry you, Danielle. I’ve thought about those kisses all day.” When he smiled, it seemed genuine.

  “Me too.” Danielle could feel her cheeks warming, but she wasn’t sure how to tell him that the kisses felt awkward. She’d barely slept the night before. She’d tried, over and over, to picture them married, and as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t. Every time she pictured them sleeping side by side in the same bed—doing anything more than sleeping—it seemed unnatural. She and Levi loved each other, but would that ever grow into the kind of love she’d always dreamed of? She wondered if Levi felt the same way. Before all this happened, she could talk to him about anything. Now things between them seemed . . . strange. She pulled the door open and went inside, Levi following.

  “Oh boy,” Martha said as she and Arnold unpacked and put away the groceries. “I had a visit from your mother this morning, Levi.” She turned to face them both, holding a can of soup in each hand. “And I’m afraid the cat is out of the bag. I didn’t know Vera didn’t know about the baby.” She shook her head as her eyebrows lifted in apology. “Gonna be a rough time for you, Levi.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Levi said with a sigh. He put the bag of groceries on the kitchen table, his own brows drawn inward. “She’ll be okay.” He smiled at Danielle, and the way he said it reassured her. Maybe they really were doing the right thing. She thought about what Sue said, and about how much she’d resented not having a father. She didn’t want her own child to grow up missing a dad.

  Martha turned around again, facing them both. “I’m going to support both of you, but I can’t live with myself unless I ask this.” She raised her chin and stared hard at Levi. “Son, are you sure this is what you want to do?”

  “Ya. I’m sure.” Levi didn’t hesitate. He looked at Danielle. “Are we still on for next Saturday in that little church you visit?”

  “I’d like that.” Danielle smiled as she fought the worry building in her heart.

  Arnold washed his hands, then extended a hand to Levi. “I wish you all the best.” Then he walked to Danielle and kissed her on the cheek. “And you too, dear.” He winked. “But now I need a sandwich.”

  Martha chuckled. “That’s my Arnold.” She pulled out a chair at the kitchen table. “Sit down, dear. I’ll make you your lunch.” She pointed to Levi. “You sit too.”

  After they all ate a ham and cheese sandwich and chips, Levi asked Danielle if she’d like to go see the house he was planning to buy for them. Danielle knew what house he was talking about, but she’d never been inside. The place had been for sale for a long time.

  As they pulled up in Danielle’s car, she swallowed hard. You could barely see the porch for all the high weeds, and the house was white . . . at one time, barely visible from a few splotches of paint left along the clapboard siding. It seemed bigger to Danielle the closer they got.

  “It needs a lot of work, but it’s all I can afford.” Levi led the way up to the front porch. “I can make it something nice, though.”

  “How many acres?”

  “Ten.” Levi tested the porch steps before he motioned for Danielle to follow. “I’ll have to get a mortgage, but I have enough to put down. And with the money I make working with Daed . . .” Levi stopped, and Danielle realized what he was thinking.

  “Surely you’ll still be able to work with your father? That won’t change, will it?” She tugged on his shirt until he turned around. When he did, he looked lost, like a little boy in man form. “Levi, I’m not doing this if you are going to lose your relationships with your family. I can’t let you do this if that’s how it’s going to be.”

  Levi’s expression hardened as he stared into her eyes. “Danielle, I’m marrying you. I’m going to be a gut father to the boppli. This is what God is calling me to do.”

  “I don’t want to be a burden.” She hung her head, but he quickly lifted her chin and smiled.

  “Nothing about marrying you is a burden. Now, let’s check out our house. I’ve been in here plenty of times. The door is never locked.”

  Danielle followed Levi inside, her eyes growing round as she looked around the living room. Bringing her hands to her chest, she wondered how they would ever live here. Martha’s house was outdated, but it was luxurious compared to this. Even Danielle and her mother had never lived anywhere like this. The place looked like it should be condemned. One window in the living room had a missing pane, which immediately made Danielle wonder what animals might have already taken up residence in the house. A layer of thick dirt coated the wood floors; it was hard to tell what condition they were in. In the far corner, there was a rocking chair lying on its side, missing one arm. The walls were white, the paint chipping.

  “It’s in rough shape, I know. But I’ve always dreamed of fixing this place up.” Levi smiled as he eyed the living room like he’d won the lottery. Danielle clutched her stomach. “It’s got three bedrooms. Come see.” Levi motioned for her to follow him. She tiptoed down a hallway and watched him kick at the bottom of a door before forcing it open.

  “This is the master bedroom.”

  Danielle forced a smile, noticing it was in the same condition as the rest of the house. “It’s big.” She walked around, looking for a closet . . . but then a bigger issue caused her stomach to lurch. “Levi?”

  He walked closer to
her. “I know it’s a wreck, but we can get it clean enough to live in while we fix it up. This is okay, isn’t it? I’ll work hard to make it nice. We can do this together.”

  Bless his heart. He sounded so hopeful. “There’s no electricity,” she finally said, her voice squeaking toward the end.

  “I know. It’s pretty old. I don’t know of any Amish family who ever lived here since the district is so new, but whoever lived here didn’t have electricity.”

  She asked the burning question. “We’ll have electricity, right?”

  Levi scratched his forehead, frowning. “I can’t really afford that. And I’ve never had electricity anyway. Can you live without it? At least for a while?” Levi smiled. “As soon as I can afford it, I’ll have Daed help me install some solar panels. That would be cheaper than having it all wired for electricity, and it’s allowed by the bishop.” His smile faded. “Not that it really matters, huh?”

  Danielle was quiet as she tried to envision her new married life. No television? Blow-dryer? Radio? How was she going to charge her cell phone? She brought a hand to her chest. “How long?”

  Levi took off his hat and scratched his head. “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t give it that much thought. I always figured I’d marry an Amish girl . . .” He shrugged. “If it’s that important to you, I’ll try to borrow more money from the bank.”

  She shook her head. “No. I don’t want you doing that. I can live without it.” She poked him playfully on the arm. “For a while.”

  “Let me show you the rest of the house.”

  Levi walked her down the hallway and showed her the other two bedrooms, and there was one bathroom at the end of the hallway. Good-sized bedrooms, but both were also in need of an overhaul. She picked the larger of the two rooms to be the baby’s room.

  “The kitchen is a gut size.” Levi walked around, eyeing the old gas range. There wasn’t a refrigerator. “Looks like the stove will be okay for now.”

  It looked a hundred years old to Danielle, like the rest of the house, and unlike any stove she’d ever seen. She eased back into the living room, glad there was a big fireplace. She’d practically frozen last winter, her first year in Canaan. Despite all her money, Martha was frugal when it came to air-conditioning and heat, and Martha’s small fireplace didn’t heat the upstairs very well.