xXx

by Tim Waggoner

  “You’re really good at motivational speaking,” he said.

  “I try,” she said with a trace of bitterness.

  “I should take lessons from you.”

  She looked at him for a moment. “You couldn’t afford them.”

  “Remember, you asked me to help you,” he said.

  “Maybe so,” she allowed, “but I didn’t invite your circus. Train your animals.”

  There were a lot of things Xander wanted to say to Marke at that moment, but he figured it would be wiser to keep his mouth shut. So he turned his back on Marke without saying anything and followed after his team. As he left, he heard Becky say, “But other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?”

  5

  Xander walked along the harbor, keeping his eye out for a suitable boat that he could “requisition.” He wanted something reliable, not big or flashy, but fast enough that if they needed to outrun someone, they could. After a while, a bowrider moored at a slip in the marina caught his eye. It was an older model, but it had obviously been well maintained. Bowriders were the most popular sports boats, so it wouldn’t draw much attention, and they had abundant seating in the open bow so there would be plenty of room for the team. They had sterndrive power, and hulls with more of a V-shape than other boats. This allowed them to turn sharper, especially at high speed, and handle rougher water.

  It was perfect.

  The owner, a Filipino man in his sixties, was onboard the bowrider when Xander approached the slip. Xander hailed him in Filipino, and the man smiled and waved him aboard his vessel. Xander spent a few minutes making small talk with the man—whose name was Danilo. They discussed the weather, the tides, and the fishing in the area, and Xander made sure to comment on Danilo’s efforts to keep the bowrider in such good shape. After a time, Xander came to the point: he wanted to buy the man’s boat. At first Danilo was taken aback by the offer, but he recovered his composure and politely declined Xander’s offer. Xander then removed an envelope filled with cash from inside his coat and tried to hand it to Danilo, but the man waved him off.

  “She’s not for sale, sorry,” he said in Filipino.

  Xander opened his coat to reveal ten more envelopes pinned to the inside lining.

  “How about now?” he asked.

  Danilo’s eyes went wide, and slowly his mouth stretched into a wide grin.

  Best friends now, Xander thought, and he smiled.

  * * *

  They waited until night to head out to sea, Tennyson piloting the craft. Xander figured it would be safe enough for the man to drive. After all, what was there for him to crash into on the open ocean? Then again, this was Tennyson. The man could probably crash a boat by colliding with an unlucky shrimp. Nicks sat next to Tennyson, probably because he wanted to keep an eye on the man to make sure he didn’t do anything crazy that would get the rest of them killed. That left Xander alone with Adele, which worked just fine for him. They stood in the bow, gazing out past the bowrider’s lights to the dark waves beyond. Adele’s arms were around him, and the spray felt good on Xander’s body. Not as good as Adele’s embrace, though. In his turbulent life, Xander had learned to appreciate moments like this, because you never knew if they would be among your last.

  They remained like that for a while, silent, but eventually Adele spoke.

  “You know what’s a long time?” she asked. “Seven years.”

  Xander had known this was coming. Better now than later, he supposed. “Yeah, but I thought about you every single day.”

  “I don’t need some corny Xander line.”

  “What’s corny about it?” He didn’t admit that it was a line, because while on one level it was, on another it was the absolute truth. After faking his death, he couldn’t afford to stay in any one place—or in any one relationship—too long. Because of this, he’d been with many women, but he’d only given pieces of himself to a precious few. And Adele had been one of them.

  Adele changed the subject, letting him off the hook. “I’ve been riding again. Three years now. Not like before, of course, not yet. But maybe someday.”

  “That’s good. Everything’s better on two wheels.”

  “Everything’s better with you around. Big teddy bear.” She snuggled closer to him, and Xander put an arm around her.

  “You always took better care of me than anyone else,” he said.

  “Think I don’t know that? That’s why I’m here.”

  “You always have my back.”

  She looked at him for a moment, eyes searching his, seeking what, though, he didn’t know. Finally, with a deadpan expression, she said, “You’re the bane of my existence.”

  Xander laughed.

  On the bridge behind them, they heard Nicks raise his voice.

  “You’re so full of shit, it’s comin’ out your ears,” he said.

  They approached a web of wooden posts, and Tennyson slowed the bowrider to maneuver around them. They were getting close to the island.

  “It’s true,” Tennyson said. “I’ve seen the documents.”

  “You really think the CIA spent countless man-hours and millions of taxpayer dollars to what? Break up Kim and Kanye?”

  “Do you think I like knowing this stuff? I’d rather get a good night’s sleep with you and the rest of the sheep.”

  Nicks sighed. “If someone shoots at you tonight, please remind me not to stand in their way.”

  Adele made a face, irritated by their silly conversation. “Yo, Real Housewives of Dipshit County,” she called back to them, “shut up or I’ll shoot you myself.”

  As they drew closer to the posts, Xander saw armed pirates balancing atop them. They raised their weapons and laser sights flickered on, catching the team in a lattice of crimson red. Adele leaned close to Xander and spoke quietly.

  “I count twenty-one guns,” she said.

  “Bet they think that makes it a fair fight,” Xander said.

  One of the sentries let out a sharp whistle, and another fired a green flare up into the sky. The signal was unmistakable: safe to pass. Despite the team being given the go-ahead, the pirates tracked them with their laser sights as they passed. Tennyson piloted the bowrider toward a pier. Numerous campfires lit the beach, and a series of torches illuminated massive temple ruins on the hill beyond. Can’t have a secret pirate island without ruins, Xander thought. Ten points for style.

  A woman flanked by armed guards waited for them at the end of the pier, most of them holding electric lanterns to provide light.

  “You wanna party here, you have to pay the toll,” the woman said.

  Farther back on the pier, hidden by shadow, Xander noticed another woman. She watched as they approached, and then she was gone, melted into the darkness as if she’d never been there in the first place.

  Interesting, Xander thought.

  Tennyson cut the bowrider’s engines and pulled the boat up next to their welcoming committee. The guards raised their guns and trained them on Xander and the others. The men were all of a type that Xander knew well. Rough and dirty, gazes cold and unfeeling, the kind of men who would kill you in an instant and never lose a wink of sleep over it. He appreciated people like this. They were what they were and didn’t pretend to be anything else. He didn’t like them, and he sure as hell didn’t admire them, but you knew where you stood with men like these. And that meant you could deal with them—if you spoke the right language.

  One of the guards tossed them a line. Xander caught it and tied the end to a cleat. This didn’t mean they were welcome, yet. It only meant that they could begin negotiating.

  A man stepped forward, accompanied by three extremely attractive women. Looks like he’s got himself a traveling harem, Xander thought. The man carried no weapon, but each of his companions did, and from the frosty look in their eyes, Xander figured they knew how to use them. The man was tall, lean, tanned, and scraggle-bearded, and although he smiled, his gaze was calculating as he sized up the new arrivals.

 
; Xander nodded to Tennyson, and he began to offload a heavy trunk. Xander, Adele, and Nicks disembarked then. None of them were carrying weapons, not even Adele, who clearly wasn’t happy about it.

  Xander smiled at the bearded man, whom he took to be the island’s leader—or at least as much of a leader as a lawless place could have. “We just happened to be floating around the South Pacific, and I heard this was the perfect place for me and my crew to lay low for a couple of days, no questions asked.”

  The bearded man kept smiling, but his eyes remained wary. “Mi casa es su casa, amigo—if the price is right.”

  “I’ve got some of the best hardware in the South Pacific,” Xander said. “Tennyson!” he ordered.

  Tennyson carried the trunk over to Xander and the pirate leader and put it down in front of them. It was heavy, and it slipped out of his hands and fell the last several inches, slamming onto the wood with significant force. That got the leader’s attention, and his smile took on a greedy edge. Xander gestured to the trunk. Help yourself, amigo. The leader stepped forward and opened the trunk to reveal the weapons Xander and the others had stolen from the Globemaster.

  The pirate leader practically drooled as he spoke, his gaze fixed on the weapons. “Thirty percent off the top gets you our finest hospitality package.”

  “Thirty percent?” Xander said, sounding incredulous. “Do I get to take the girls home for the weekend for that? Honestly, I heard ten.”

  That broke the spell the sight of the weapons had cast on the pirate leader. He looked at Xander, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Ay, dios mio! Ten percent? Esta loco. You musta been aiming for the other lawless, uncharted island down the block. Don’t worry about it, happens all the time. Here’s what you gonna do: turn around, get on your boat, and kiss my ass. Okay?”

  Xander turned to Tennyson. “What do you think?” Without waiting for the man’s reply, Xander said, “Yeah, you’re right.” He turned back to the leader. “Eighteen percent.”

  “Eighteen percent?” The pirate acted as if Xander had just personally insulted him. “You think we at a flea market in the hood? You think we sellin’ broken TVs and fake watches?”

  “Okay, my final offer. Twenty-two and a half.”

  The leader looked at Xander as if he was crazy. “Twenty-two and a half? How you gonna do a half?”

  “Twenty-two of these puppies. And a half.”

  Xander bent down, took a rifle from the trunk, gripped it with both hands, gritted his teeth, and snapped the weapon in half. He then handed one of the pieces to the leader.

  The man took the half-a-gun and looked at it for a long moment. The women who’d accompanied him tightened their grip on their weapons, as did the other pirates on the pier. One word from the leader, and Xander knew the bullets would start flying. The tension wasn’t quite as intense a rush as BASE-jumping from Meru Peak in the Himalayas, but it wasn’t bad, either. The spy game did have its side benefits.

  Finally the pirate smiled and stepped forward to hug Xander. When he stepped back, he said, “I like you. You are my type of guy. Enjoy the party.”

  The man, who introduced himself as Lazarus, ordered a couple of other pirates to take the trunk onto the island. As the men hurried to obey, Xander stepped over to Tennyson and softly said, “Stay on the boat. No matter what.”

  Tennyson nodded, and then Xander called for Adele and Nicks to accompany him. Nicks brought Xander his coat, and he shrugged it on. Lazarus returned and pointed down the pier. Music and laughter was audible in the distance—the party Lazarus had mentioned.

  Lazarus gazed out at the horizon. “Only an hour ’til dawn.” Then he looked at Xander and frowned. “Hey, aren’t you that guy from the Xander Zone videos?”

  Xander smiled. “You know, I get that a lot.”

  * * *

  The party turned out to be held in the temple ruins, of course. As Xander, Adele, and Nicks walked up the steps, they heard diffuse music bleeding out of the building. Xander and Adele got their weapons off the bowrider before leaving the pier. Xander carried a pistol tucked into his pants against the small of his back, while Adele carried her hi-tech sniper rifle in a backpack. Nicks had passed on a weapon. Not my style, he’d said. As they climbed the steps, Xander scrutinized the temple more closely. He was no expert, but the architecture of the temple looked Thai to him. He guessed it was centuries old, at least, and he wondered what the people who built this place and held it sacred would think if they could see the use it was being put to now. Somehow, he didn’t think they’d be pleased.

  He turned to Adele. “You’re my eyes in the sky, like always. Find yourself a nice perch. There’s a sail right over there.”

  A beached catamaran lay off to the side of the temple. Adele gave Xander a nod, jogged over to the boat, drew a knife from her boot, quickly cut away the sail, replaced the knife, and then vaulted up the side of the temple into a tree, swift and silent as a cat. She climbed upward until she found a vantage point that allowed her to see through one of the temple’s windows, and then she quickly began fashioning the sail into a rigging to hold her.

  Xander turned to Nicks. “You’re with me. Gonna show ’em how we do it.”

  “Hell, yeah,” Nicks said.

  They continued the rest of the way up the steps to a pair of large wooden doors with metal handles. Xander took hold of them and pulled the doors open, releasing a cacophony of sound. He grinned at Nicks, and then gestured for the man to precede him. It was only fitting that Nicks went in first, since he was a world-class party-master. Nicks gave Xander a bow of thanks, entered, and Xander followed, closing the doors behind him. Inside, sweating bodies were smashed together, drinking, dancing, and grinding to a relentless throbbing beat as a reggaetón singer on a stage rapped in rapid-fire Spanish. The man wore a black cap and leather jacket, and a half-dozen beautiful women danced around him as he performed. At first glance, the temple interior looked like any other club, no different than hundreds of others like it around the world. But Xander knew it had one major difference. The revelers in this club were all extremely dangerous people who would seriously fuck you up just for looking at them wrong.

  My kinda place, he thought.

  Thanks to Becky, Xander and his team wore tactical bone-conduction earpieces that would allow them to communicate with each other. The devices were the highest of high-tech and almost completely invisible. You had to get real close to someone wearing one to see it, and even then you had to know what you were looking for. Xander tapped his ear to activate the device, and Nicks did the same. Coulda used these yesterday, Xander thought. He had no doubt Adele had already activated hers. The last thing she would ever do was allow him to enter a dangerous situation without her being able to see and hear everything he was doing—and he loved her for it.

  Xander spoke softly to test the device. “You got this?” he said to Nicks.

  Nicks nodded to let Xander know his earpiece was working. He replied just as softly as Xander had spoken. “Just watch me,” he said.

  Xander and Nicks made their way through the throng of partiers to a bar tended by a gorgeous bikini-clad woman. Xander slipped off his coat and handed it to her.

  “Can you keep this behind the bar for me?” he asked.

  She smiled, nodded, and took the coat. As she did, Nicks turned around and surveyed the territory.

  “This got an Ibiza vibe to it,” he said.

  “I’m surprised you remember that trip,” Xander said. “Don’t make me carry you out this time.”

  Nicks grinned. “No promises.”

  Now that the bartender had stowed away Xander’s coat, she touched his hand and smiled. “What can I get you?” she asked.

  He leaned in close and whispered, “A cranberry and club soda, please.” He glanced at Nicks, and when he saw the man hadn’t heard him, he said, “Make that two.”

  If the woman thought there was anything odd about his drink selection, she gave no sign. She smiled, nodded, and went to work prepar
ing his order. When she was finished, she handed him the two drinks.

  “Thank you,” Xander said.

  “You’re welcome.” Her tone made it clear that he was welcome to more than cranberry juice if he was interested.

  Xander turned to Nicks and put one of the drinks into his hand. Nicks—still taking everything in—brought the glass up to his mouth without looking at it. But before he took a sip, he inhaled through his nose, and then frowned. He looked down at the drink then, and when he saw it wasn’t alcohol, his face scrunched up in disgust.

  “Really?” he said.

  “I need you to stay focused,” Xander said. Nicks had many fine qualities, but knowing when to say no when wasn’t one of them. They’d walked into a viper’s nest, and they all needed to remain stone-cold sober if they didn’t want to get bit.

  Nicks didn’t look happy, but he nodded. He did not, however, take a sip of his cranberry and club soda.

  Xander walked away from the bar, but as he went, he saw Nicks stop a woman passing by him.

  “Hey, I bought this for you,” he said, handing her the drink. She took it, looking surprised and grateful.

  “Really?” she said. “Wow. Thank you.”

  Instead of waiting to see the woman’s reaction, Nicks disappeared into the crowd. Xander followed suit, heading off in a different direction. In his ear, he heard Adele’s voice.

  “Girls, guns, and global domination. Xander Cage is back.”

  He smiled. “Did I ever leave?”

  * * *

  Xiang sat alone at a table in the club’s upper balcony, watching the partiers below. He was bored. Out. Of. His. Fucking. Mind. And when a pair of beautiful women approached him and tried to say hi, he ignored them, and they moved on, throwing shade at him as they departed. Xiang didn’t care. He wasn’t the kind of man who enjoyed satisfying fleeting desires, and he hadn’t come here to party. He was enduring this cesspit for one reason only: to lay low until he had the opportunity to use Pandora’s Box. Until then, all he could do was sit, wait, and try not to go insane.