Dreams and Nightmares

by Shirley A. Roe

  “You do not, you just don't want to look at anymore houses.” Abraham corrected.

  “Both of you, come along we have one more to see and then we'll discuss which one we like best.” Martha ushered the boys back into the carriage and she and Loretta talked of the many homes they had seen. The boys were becoming restless.

  “I want a house with a big yard so we can have lots of pets.” Abraham declared.

  “I want my own room so no one will bother me when I'm studying. I'm going to get so many books from the library and I want to be alone to read them.” Ezekiel piped up.

  “I just want a place to sleep that is close to the woods and the river.” Isaac added his comments however short and to the point. The carriage stopped in front of another new home.

  “Now this is a lovely house. Let's go inside and see if it has everything you want.” The boys moaned but jumped down from the carriage and headed towards the house. After looking at the front yard, Martha entered the two-story brick house and headed for the kitchen. The boys scurried upstairs and Isaac checked the back yard.

  “This kitchen is perfect and look at the big sitting room.” Loretta was impressed with this house. “It even has indoor plumbing Martha. A lot of the older homes do not.”

  “I love this front porch and the price is reasonable.” Martha agreed with Loretta, this house was just right. Now she just had to convince herself that she was ready to take on the responsibility of a house and a family alone. She took a deep breath and willed herself to be confident. I can do this, I can.

  “Woods out the back and the river is just down the street. OK with me.” Isaac rejoined the others, entering through the back door.

  “This is the one Martha, lot's of bedrooms and a big yard.” The other two chimed in.

  “Looks like we have found a new home for the Whittaker family,” Martha proclaimed hugging two of the boys to her. “I believe we can start our new life together looking forward to a wonderful future.” A feeling of contentment filled Martha's heart as she looked down at her boys. Even Isaac smiled at her from the other side of the room. Loretta beamed at the little family, happy that her new friend was staying in St. Louis.

  Later that day, Loretta and Martha returned to the house with Jeremy and Austin. Alone in the parlor, Jeremy walked to the window where Martha surveyed the property of her new domain. He stood just a little too close and she moved closer to the window, almost pressing her body into the glass to avoid any contact with him. He wanted to reach out and take her in his arms, but instead he moved to the center of the room.

  “This is a lovely house Martha. I am sure you and the boys will be happy here.”

  Relieved to have some space between them, she turned and smiled. “Yes, a new home and a new life. Jeremy, I want to thank you for all you have done for us. You have been most kind.” Taking this compliment as encouragement Jeremy again moved towards her. However, Martha smiled and walked from the room leaving him frustrated once again.

  Chapter Seventeen- London & some surprising news

  John McGuire was relieved to know that Martha was safe at last. A telegram from Jeremy had confirmed the death of Jebediah Whittaker and the safe transport of Martha to someplace named St Louis. Further information would be forthcoming in a letter, was all the telegram said. No mention of when Martha would be returning to England or her plans, but John would be patient now that he knew she was safe.

  Phoebe was happy to receive John and his wonderful news in London. Phoebe and Max were very compatible and had become much closer over the past months. John had business in London for the next few weeks and would stay with her and partake of some of London's pleasures.

  Max and John visited the London Men's Club and enjoy indoor games of whist, cribbage and bridge. If the weather permitted, they partook of: tennis, shooting, cricket or fishing. While the men were otherwise occupied, Phoebe and the ladies would walk and promenade with the occasional game of croquet for amusement.

  “Well John, actually Mrs. Jonas Whittaker is still alive and incarcerated in the asylum in Northumberland.” Max reiterated during a game of cribbage. John was very surprised to hear this as he had been under the impression the woman had died years before from her long-term illness.

  “What responsibility is this woman to Martha now that Jebediah was dead?” When confronted by this question, Max confirmed that Jonas had left a trust fund to take care of his wife until her death therefore she was taken care of and should not be a burden but John was not convinced. He pushed this thought away until he could give it more attention.

  Evenings in London were spent at the Music Hall, The London Philharmonic or dancing the Viennese waltz or even the polka at Vauxhall or Cremorne Gardens. Often Phoebe would invite one of her widow friends to join herself, Max and John and the four of them would have a wonderful evening full of music and excellent food. Although John McGuire was not looking for a companion, he always enjoyed the company of a beautiful woman.

  “Phoebe, I always take pleasure in these trips to London filled with social engagements and business meetings. After a few weeks however, I'm ready to return to the slower pace of the country and Graystone. I'm slowly becoming accustomed to living alone with only the servants for company but I look forward to Martha's return.” John lifted his suitcase and placed it in the carriage. “Jeremy's telegram said that Martha was safe but did not expound on the details of her year away. He did not say if Martha was anxious to come home or unforgiving where I'm concerned.” Phoebe tried to reassure him but she too wondered if they would ever see Martha again. John and Phoebe climbed into her carriage and rode to the station in silence. Both of them were curious as to what had happened to Jebediah. All the telegram said was that he was dead. They would have to wait for the letter that was on its way with more details and just be happy that she was safe.

  After saying his goodbyes at the train station, John sat in the railcar and pondered his visit. Phoebe and Max made a lovely couple and John was happy for them. Phoebe had been a widow for many years and deserved some happiness. The conversation with Max came back to him. His curiosity was raised by the discovery that Mrs. Jonas Whittaker was confined to the asylum. Perhaps the illness was hereditary, accounting for Jebediah's despicable behavior and what of the children, could they be affected? When he returned to Northumberland John intended to find out exactly what was wrong with Mrs. Jonas Whittaker. He put his head back on the seat of the rail car and eventually fell asleep to the clickety- clack sound of the wheels on the rail.

  “Mrs. Elizabeth Whittaker has not had a visitor in over a year sir, may I ask what your relationship is to the patient?” The mousy looking nurse spoke in a monotone that reflected both her appearance and her attitude.

  “My daughter is her daughter- in- law, making us family and I would like to see her if possible. Is she lucid? If not, could I speak to her doctor please?” John was calm and confident on the outside but inside his stomach was doing nervous somersaults.

  “The doctor will be happy to discuss her with you, please sit over there.” The nurse pointed to a ragged chair and left John alone. The asylum was a huge rambling mansion in great disrepair. The dark gray walls did nothing to make the place upbeat. The smell of lye soap and urine permeated the air and calls and shrieks of all kinds could be heard from beyond the doors. The odor and the unsettling noise were making John feel ill and he hoped the doctor would hurry. A door opened and a large, burly orderly appeared dragging a man with shackles on his legs and hands. The man's eyes stared vacantly and his clothes were filthy. The orderly ignored John as he passed and roughly took the shackled man through another locked door. Finally the doctor appeared and asked John to step into his office.

  “What kind of a place is this?” John asked in disgust.

  “It is a lunatic asylum, sir. Obviously you have never visited one before or you would realize that this is one of the best. Now what do you want to know about Mrs. Elizabeth Whittaker?” the doctor was obviously in a
hurry and wanted this interview over with. He tapped nervously on his desk with his pencil.

  “I want to know what is wrong with her and if it is hereditary, as my daughter is married to one of her sons.” Sweat appeared on John's brow and his stomach felt as if it was tied in knots. He could not imagine what the lunatics in this place had to endure.

  “She is insane, a complete lunatic. Doesn't know who she is or where she is. Not expected to live much longer anyway. As far as whether it is hereditary, well your guess is as good as mine. No one knows these things; why does anyone in her family display any symptoms?”

  “Not that I know of. Why do you say she is not expected to live much longer, is she physically ill as well?” John was sorry he had come. The answers to his heredity questions had not been answered and this place made him extremely upset. “Can I see her?”

  “If you want to but she won't know who you are. The nurse will take you.”

  The mousy nurse appeared at the door and took John down a long hall. All of the doors were closed in this section of the house and finally they stopped at the end of the hall. The nurse unlocked the door and there, lying on the bed, eyes closed, was Elizabeth Whittaker. The woman was extremely thin with stringy, sparse white hair. The yellowish flesh on her face was sunken in and her eyes were ringed with blue-black circles. John asked the nurse if she was still alive, the body looked so still and no sign of breathing could be seen. The room held a foul odor. The nurse impatiently checked the pitiful remnants of a woman and looked at John with a surprised look on her face.

  “Well you are right, she is dead. Good thing you came today, or we wouldn't have checked her until tonight. It is Sunday and the staff goes to visit their relatives. We always confine all the patients to bed and feed them after the staff returns on Sunday evenings.” The nurse saw nothing wrong with the situation but John was feeling nauseous. He ran from the room, down the hall and out the door. Behind a sparse rose bush he vomited, sweat running off his brow, his heart pounding in his chest. The sight of Elizabeth Whittaker's corpse and the callous attitude of the nurse was more than he could bear. Composing himself, he returned to the nurse's station and inquired what was to be done with the body.

  “Says in the file that the lawyer paid for the plot already so we'll have her transported to the church yard. Apparently the family already made arrangements for the headstone so you don't have to do a thing. Maybe you could let the family know.” The nurse walked away leaving John pale and shaking and about to vomit again.

  “I'm telling you Smithson, something has to be done about that place. People are treated like animals there. You should have seen the filthy state of the patients and the chains, are they really necessary?” John was beside himself, never having had experience with asylums before and not realizing that some of the patients were violent.

  “Unfortunately, there is not much we can do. The government is forming a committee to try to improve the situations but so far not much has been done. Private asylums like the one Elizabeth Whittaker was in are much better than the workhouses and public lunatic asylums that the criminally insane and penniless lunatics are kept in. I understand your concern John but there is really nothing we can do. Jonas kept his wife at home as long as he could but there was no alternative. He chose the best place he could for Elizabeth.” Max defended Jonas, his life long friend. Max had traveled to Northumberland and arranged for the small service at the churchyard for Elizabeth Whittaker. John had joined him feeling an odd responsibility to the poor woman who was not much older than he. The trust fund paid for a nice head stone and being one of only two mourners, John left flowers on the grave. The dead woman and the place where she spent her final days haunted him. As the flowers were laid on the grave, Elizabeth Whittaker was reunited with her husband and her youngest son Jebediah, at last.

  John McGuire, driven by some unknown force, spent the next month investigating the new government committee on asylums and then became very involved for the betterment of facilities for the insane. Some of the information gathered shocked him and made him all the more determined. He was shaken to read the reports:

  The severe whippings were most obvious; they were the favorite method of procuring a ready obedience from the inmates of the madhouses but they were also the first abuse, which it is necessary to lop off; a witness said in her evidence to the Select Committee appointed to consider the provisions being made for the better regulation of Madhouses in England. The whip was used as an engine of punishment; it was considered a most valuable therapeutic agent. In one madhouse, a doctor found a man confined in an oblong trough, chained down not having seen the light of day for weeks…….

  The reports went on and on, one abuse after another and John was determined to instigate changes.

  As a result, he was an integral part of the 1862 Lunacy Acts Amendment, which set out conditions and regulations for the establishment, management, and inspection of county asylums. Workhouses were regulated so that the chronically ill were separated from the other inmates and given extra comforts. More changes to the Lunacy Act regulated the care and treatment of lunatics and provided for routine maintenance of asylums. Changes were also made in respect of the proof of insanity and disposal of the property of lunatics. John never understood his driving need to make such changes, other than the fact that he could never get Elizabeth Whittaker off of his mind. It was as if she was directing him from the grave, but the changes were good ones and he was happy to have concentrated his efforts on them. Perhaps it eased his conscience where Martha's arranged marriage was concerned. John also found it took his mind off of the fact that his daughter, now a Whittaker, was not returning.

  A telegram was sent to St. Louis informing Jeremy Whittaker of the death of his mother and the arrangements that had been made. That same week a letter arrived from St. Louis:

  Father: I hope this letter finds you in good health. As you have been told, my husband Jebediah Whittaker is dead. A robber, in the church where Jebediah was the pastor, shot him to death. I'm now in St. Louis with Austin and Jeremy Whittaker and my three stepsons. My health is good although the past year was one of extreme trials and tribulation. I do not know at this time if I'll ever forgive you for giving me to such a man as Jebediah. I have endured physical abuse, emotional torture and deception. My future is unsure as of now but I have decided to stay in St. Louis for at least a year or two. I'm unable to face England right now and St. Louis is a bustling city full of interesting prospects. Jeremy has decided to open an office here and will be staying here as well. Austin Wells now Jeremy's partner, has also decided to stay in St. Louis for the time being and is to be married in one month's time to a Miss Loretta Langley. The boys and I have purchased a lovely home on the western outskirts of St. Louis and they are happy to be staying here. It is a small but comfortable house with three bedrooms and a lovely sitting room. We have a small garden area for the boys to play in and there are several lovely parks in the city. I hope you are well Father as I wish you no harm. I love you, however I cannot forget what you have done and I'll need some time to try to forgive you. Give Aunt Phoebe and Emma my love and I'll send another letter soon. I enclose my address in Lucas Place for your return letter. Your loving daughter, Martha.

  Tears stained the paper as John learned of his daughter's unbearable suffering over the last year. Now she would not return to him for at least another year and would she ever forgive him? He had no one to blame but himself but his heart was breaking. He mournfully carried the letter up the stairs to Martha's bedchamber, where he sat and cried for hours.

  Chapter Eighteen- The family settles in

  Austin and Loretta discussed their future and although she was willing to travel to England with him, they decided to settle in St. Louis for the time being.

  “Now that Jeremy has opened an office in the city and asked me to join him as his partner I think it is time for me to ask you an important question.” Austin was feeling like a young boy as he dropped to one knee.
“My darling, will you be my wife.” He looked at her hopefully.

  “Oh yes, Austin, yes yes yes.” The blushing young woman beamed from ear to ear. Austin slipped a sparkling diamond ring on her finger and she gushed over it. Her father, Arthur Langley gave the two his blessing several hours later when they informed he and Isabel, his wife of their plans. Austin wrote to his mother and told her of his marriage and also that he and Loretta would travel to England sometime in the coming year. Jeremy informed Austin that several trips to England would be necessary and offered to pay the way for Loretta to join him on one of the trips, as a wedding gift.

  “I'll take the other trips, as I have to settle some business arrangements for shipments between India, Britain and the colonies. I also want to visit my mother's grave and make arrangements with Max Smithson for the smooth running of Pheasant Run in my absence.” He informed Austin as they looked over the new building. He still enjoyed his travels and looked forward to seeing England as well as India again. Jeremy had invited Martha to accompany him on one of the trips but she declined. Perhaps she would change her mind when the time came. “Besides Wells, you aren't much of a sailor if I remember correctly,” Jeremy laughed.

  Martha and the boys were settling in their new home in Lucas Place, an upscale section of St. Louis. Their home was newly built and two stories, with three bedrooms and a lovely sitting room. A small kitchen and indoor plumbing completed the picture of the perfect little home for the new family. The boys were enrolled in school and even Isaac seemed to be enjoying St. Louis.

  “Martha, I have to tell you that I'm very happy we're staying in St. Louis. I didn't want to go back to England and thank you for asking my opinion,” Isaac told her one afternoon. He was slowly becoming more trusting of her and she in return was becoming fond of him. They both had come a long way in building self- confidence and trust.