Dreams and Nightmares

by Shirley A. Roe

  Martha hired the daughter of the baker, Mike O’Malley to help with the simple hand stitching. Before the wedding, Martha delivered several of her pies to Mike O’Malley who agreed to sell them in the bakery. She initially thought that baking pies could somehow be turned into a business. After visiting the bakery and seeing the many younger O’Malleys baking, kneading dough and packaging bread, she knew she did not want to do that for a living. Plus she felt that Mr. O’Malley did not need any competition with such a large family to feed. She would continue to supply him with pies for extra money but sewing was what gave her the most pleasure and that is what she would concentrate on. During a conversation with Mike, she mentioned her need for a seamstress. Mike suggested she talk with his daughter who he claimed could sew a stitch better than the tailor. Martha asked her to sew some ribbon onto one of the gowns and hired the young girl immediately. The girl, Annabelle was a tiny sprite with red hair, freckles, large green eyes and a talkative personality. The solitary, Isaac was infatuated with her and tried to be in the house whenever she was there. Annabelle, who was Isaac's age, thought he was charming and whenever the two were together, she chatted endlessly while the quieter Isaac simply looked at her adoringly. Martha found her to be very proficient with a needle and was surprised with how quickly the girl learned. She paid her half a dollar per week and often gave her extra food to take home to her family of twelve. One evening after a long day of sewing, she prepared a basket for Annabelle.

  “Oh, Mrs. Whittaker I really couldn't accept all of this food.” Annabelle was proud and very humble, but she also knew that with ten children to feed any contributions would be appreciated at the O’Malley home. Martha prepared a basket of meat, fish and fruit adding a dozen chocolate candies for the children.

  “ Isaac hunts and fishes and we have more than enough food to share. Please let me send this home to your family. We are very lucky Isaac is such a good provider.” Martha looked over to Isaac, “Please walk Annabelle home Isaac. It is almost dark and a young lady should not be on the streets alone.” Isaac blushed. Annabelle blushed and the two youngsters left Martha smiling in the doorway. Isaac was showing off his prowess as a hunter and Martha found it charming. She constantly looked for ways to bring a smile to his face. Annabelle's presence seemed to be the most recent. She closed the door, stopped at the mirror to fix her hair and headed for the kitchen.

  Isaac and Annabelle walked toward the ‘Kerry Patch’ where Annabelle lived. Most of the Irish population of St. Louis lived in the large parcel of land north of Carr Square. Both of them were nervous and shy. Annabelle handled her nervousness by talking, Isaac by remaining silent.

  Annabelle explained to Isaac, “The area is called the ‘Kerry Patch’ because many of the Irish immigrants came to St. Louis up the Mississippi from New Orleans or across land from Boston or New York. Soon almost half of St. Louis’ population was poor Irish. Some of them even lived in the street. An Irish philanthropist, John Mullanphy donated a large parcel of land for the Irish people to live on and since many were from the Kerry area in Ireland, it became known as the ‘Kerry Patch’.” They passed the picturesque St. Patrick's church on the corner of Sixth and Biddle. Isaac took Annabelle's basket, kicking a stone as they walked. The stone rolled ahead leading the way to the ‘Patch’. Isaac listened attentively and Annabelle continued her chattering, taking her turn at kicking the rock when it crossed her path. “My family has been here for ten years. We moved into the ‘Patch’ shortly after it was opened.” Isaac noticed that most of the houses in the neighborhood were ‘clapboard’-small frame houses and built close to the sidewalk. From the number of children on each doorstep it appeared that most of the families were large. It was obvious that the streets in this part of town were dirt and often flooded. A water line was visible on the side of many of the houses where the water level had risen above the doorways. Isaac looked down at the drunken man lying in the street; the smell of alcohol permeated the air. Annabelle didn't seem to take any notice of him.

  “Maybe we should help him, he looks bad.” Isaac was concerned but Annabelle quickly moved away pulling Isaac with her, explaining that the man usually woke up and went home on his own.

  “There are lots of drunks and lots of fights in this neighborhood Isaac. Mother says to ‘just keep on walking’.” Sensing his discomfort, she added, “You get used to it.” Isaac didn't like the idea of Annabelle living in such a place. He was happy that Martha had asked him to walk her home. Isaac delivered Annabelle safely to her doorway and then ran all the way back to Lucas Place. After experiencing the Kerry Patch, he now had another reason to be thankful for Martha's stubborn determination.

  Agatha Carruthers watched Martha's progress with interest. While dining with her husband Phillip, the conversation turned to Martha, as it often did. “I tell you Phillip, this woman has breeding. The tiny house, the three stepsons and the sewing are all negated by her speech and voice, which are so obviously those of a lady. There is a story there and I intend to find out what it is.” Phillip stared at his wife. If anyone would get to the bottom of this, it would be his ever- curious wife. He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “First I need to see her alone without that irritating Isabel. That woman is too much, always trying to ingratiate herself.”

  “You seem fascinated with this young woman Aggie. Now, don't be so hard on Isabel. I give that woman a lot of credit. After she married that cowboy years ago, she has had to fight to keep her social standing in this city. I think she has done a very good job of it.”

  “Oh, Phillip I know all of that, but sometimes she doesn't know when to leave well enough alone. Martha is different. She so reminds me of our Priscilla. I had the piano tuned today and I intend to invite Martha and her family for dinner next week. It is time you met this lovely young woman.” Surprised that she mentioned the piano, Phillip's curiosity was peaked by his wife's interest in this newcomer. He looked forward to meeting the family, always keen to have youngsters in the house.

  “Wonderful my dear. Make the arrangements and I shall be there.” Phillip was pleased to hear the piano would finally be played. It had sat silent for over twenty years. Perhaps Martha was just what Agatha needed.

  One evening Jeremy arrived with some bright red silk that just arrived by ship. He knew Martha would love it. “Martha, Martha are you here?” Jeremy pushed the door open when no one responded to his knock. Entering the sitting room, he found Martha asleep in a sitting position with a blue gown spread over her knees. Several beads were spilled on the rug and a spool of thread had rolled onto the floor. He approached silently so as not to startle her. He was not pleased with the dark circles under her eyes. “Martha, wake up.” He shook her lightly. She awoke with a start.

  “Oh Jeremy, I must have dozed off. I've had a few late nights trying to finish these gowns.” Even her voice sounded exhausted. She reached for the thread. O God, I must look a mess.

  “Perhaps it is time to take a few days off. You look exhausted.” Jeremy began picking up the tiny beads and set them on the table beside her.

  “No, I must get these dresses finished on time. My entire future and the future of my boys depend on it. I will not quit until every dress is finished and delivered.” The near panic in her voice disturbed Jeremy, but it also spoke volumes of just how desperately she needed to prove herself. Her confident air sometimes fooled him into believing she was secure, but now he was reminded of just how lacking in confidence and fearful she was.

  “ I think it is time to employ another assistant. That little elfin girl is hardly enough help for St. Louis’ famous fashion designer.” Jeremy joked with her but he was concerned at the dark circles under her eyes. He knew her stubborn determination would not allow her to take the time she needed for the good of her health.

  “I just don't have room in my bedroom for any more people Jeremy but I could use some help. This sewing business is growing in leaps and bounds and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm afraid it is a litt
le too much for me.” Her distress was evident.

  “Well, I have just the answer then. The building next to mine is for sale and it would be more than enough room for you and your assistants. You could rent the flats upstairs and that would help you with the finances until you get going. There is much more space for your sewing machine and perhaps you could get another one. You could even open a shop in the front of the building to sell your creations.” Jeremy, always enterprising, was enthusiastically thinking ahead of himself. He rambled on and on coming up with some excellent suggestions. He watched the uncertainty shadow her face but there was a hint of excitement as well. He continued to encourage her.

  “Oh Jeremy do you really think I could do it?” Martha was caught up in Jeremy's enthusiasm and she desperately wanted a business of her own. “Would the bank lend me the money for the building?” A building and a business of my very own, could it really be possible? Silently she prayed for this to work.

  “I don't see why not, I'll speak to the manager tomorrow on your behalf if you like. If he won't lend the money to you, I'll sign the loan and lend you the money myself. I have great faith in your ability Martha and if you can create gowns like the one you wore to the wedding, then you will be a huge success.” Jeremy lifted Martha's hand and kissed her palm. She didn't pull away, wanting to move into his arms and embraced her champion. Jeremy always supported and encouraged her in everything she wanted to do. He was generous, considerate and gentle; everything that his brother had lacked. She looked up and felt as if she were drowning in the green of his eyes. Jeremy wanted her more than ever at that moment and kissed her gently on the lips. She returned his kiss and moved into his arms. He knew he would have to tread lightly with this independent, gentle woman after what his brother had done to her. The fact that she remained in his arms was definitely encouraging. After a few minutes, feeling the relaxed weight of her body, he realized that she had fallen asleep. He settled her on the chair with a woolen afghan over her, and left the house whistling to himself.

  After canceling several times, Martha and the boys were finally going to visit the Carruthers. Agatha, who much to Phillip's amusement, had been impatiently watching out of the window, opened the door herself. “Martha how wonderful to see you again. Come in.”

  Martha ushered the three boys into the magnificent mansion coming face to face with Phillip for the first time. The man before her looked much older than Agatha, his face lined and sallow. He was an attractive man nonetheless with a bright smile that reached his twinkling eyes.

  “Martha, let me present my husband, Sir Phillip Carruthers. Phillip, this is Martha Whittaker.” Before Martha could take Phillip's outstretched hand, Ezekiel spoke out loud.

  “Did you say ‘Sir’, like Sir Galahad or Sir Lancelot kind of Sir?” the young boy stared at Phillip with admiration.

  “Yes young man, Phillip was knighted by Queen Victoria and his grandfather was a Duke. He is Sir Phillip Carruthers, my knight in shining armour.” Agatha knelt beside Ezekiel placing her hand on his shoulder. “And what is your name young man?”

  “Ezekiel, Mam. I read about knights in one of my books but I never thought I would meet one. Wow did you really meet Queen Victoria Sir?” Sir Phillip nodded in the affirmative a broad smile graced his face. He was not one for pomp and pageantry but he knew that Agatha was intentionally making things interesting for the child.

  “My brother talks too much. Please forgive his outburst. My name is Abraham, I am happy to make your acquaintance Sir.” Abraham bowed low and then extended his small hand in Phillip's direction and Martha beamed with pride.

  Phillip turned to Isaac, “Well that leaves you young man, what do we call you?”

  “Isaac, Sir.” Always short and to the point, Isaac shook Phillip's hand and stood quietly surveying the huge entrance hall.

  “So you like books do you Ezekiel? How about you two, do you like books as well?”

  “No Sir, I like fishing and hunting and Abraham likes animals, all kinds of animals.” Isaac spoke while his eyes remained fixed on the huge stag head that hung above the doorway. Abraham too was staring at the stag.

  “Wonderful, I have just the room for all of you to see. Come along.” Phillip held out his hand to Ezekiel who reached up and placed his own smaller one in it. “Men only.” The older man winked at the boys causing Ezekiel to giggle and led them off towards the west wing.

  “My but your husband is wonderful with the children. I have never seen the three boys so taken with anyone before.” Martha watched as the boys followed Phillip without looking back.

  “He truly is a knight in shining armour. I have loved that man for over forty years. Come Martha let us relax in the great room while the boys play with Phillip.” She chuckled at the thought of Phillip playing. “I am sorry your husband could not join us.”

  “My husband is dead.” Martha did not explain. Agatha sensed that something was amiss and quickly directed Martha to the piano.

  “I have had the piano tuned my dear. Would you play for me?”

  The boys were in awe of the Carruther's study and trophy room. Stuffed lions, antelope and even a large Musk Ox head mounted on the wall, amazed them. A glass case filled with all types of guns and weapons mesmerized Isaac. Ezekiel sat in the study, pulling book after book off of the shelves. “Mr. Carruthers, Sir Phillip, your highness Sir, are these books really all yours? You have more books than the library almost.” Ezekiel was most impressed.

  “Why don't you call me Grandpap Phillip. It is much easier than all of that Sir business, don't you think. I hope we will be seeing a lot of each other and if your Mother doesn't have any objections I would be honored to be Grandpap to you boys.”

  Isaac turned and looked at Phillip in surprise. He was still suspicious of strangers and this man seemed too good to be true.

  Abraham studied the paintings of horses and dogs that lined one wall, inquiring about their significance. Mr. Carruthers, or Grandpap as they all agreed, told the boys he would take them to the stables after dinner and Abraham could hardly wait. All four were thoroughly enjoying the interchange.

  Back in the great room, Martha's playing took her back to Graystone and her life before Jebediah. Agatha did not miss the longing on the young woman's face.

  “Mama, you should see Grandpap's study. It is amazing.” The boys bounced into the room. Martha turned and gaped at them.

  “Abraham! What did you call Sir Phillip? I am so sorry Mr. Carruthers.”

  “But Mama Grandpap Phillip said to call him that because we don't like all of that pompous stuff, do we Grandpap.” Agatha chuckled and winked at Phillip. She could see that Phillip was enjoying the boys and the feeling was obviously mutual.

  Dinner was a succulent roast of beef, with Yorkshire pudding, candied carrots and mashed potatoes. Everyone ate until they were sated, the delicious food keeping even the talkative Ezekiel quiet.

  As promised Mr. Carruthers took the youngsters to see the stables and Martha and Agatha retired to the conservatory. Plants of all size and description surrounded them as they sat on the wicker chairs. The atmosphere was moist and tropical and Martha found the room very relaxing.

  “I am so sorry for your loss my dear. You must miss your husband terribly. I don't know what I would do without Phillip.” Mrs. Carruthers reached over and took Martha's hand.

  “I would rather not discuss my husband's death, if you don't mind Agatha. It is a time I would rather forget.” Martha stood and caressed the green and white leaves of a large fern. “What lovely plants you have.” Agatha did not push but she could see by Martha's reaction that something terrible must have happened to her. Just then the boys returned full of stories of horses and African lion safaris.

  “Oh good, let me get the cookies. You must be hungry again.” Agatha walked towards the door to retrieve the treats for the boys. “Come along boys and give me a hand. I guess this makes me Grandmam. Wonderful, I have waited years for someone to call me that.” Martha and P
hillip exchanged a look of mutual appreciation. She could see why Agatha was so fond of this gentle man. By the time the family was ready to leave, Martha knew that her family had grown by two and she and the boys would be seeing more of the Carruthers. Agatha and Phillip were truly lovely people and the boys were growing fond of them already. She hugged them both affectionately.

  “Goodbye, Grandmam and Grandpap, thanks for everything.” Ezekiel was beaming, holding the books that Grandpap had insisted he borrow. Isaac clutched the journal of Phillip's African adventures to his chest and Abraham carefully carried the framed picture of the horse that Phillip had given him. Agatha and Phillip glowed with happiness at their newly acquired family.

  After much trepidation on Martha's part, the building purchase was settled and Martha and Annabelle moved into the new facility. Martha stood in the empty building envisioning her new business. I cannot believe I am standing on the threshold of my dream. With renewed confidence she began her planning and soon the building came alive. Painters and carpenters soon transformed the empty building into a viable shop.

  Phillip and Jeremy stopped by on their way to lunch. They looked for Martha in her back office. Papers and account books were spread on the desk. Samples of fabrics, strips of ribbon and spools of thread were piled high on the side table. Martha was nowhere to be found. “How on earth is she going to handle all of this Jeremy?” Phillip was astounded at the progress of construction and the chaos everywhere in the building.

  “Don't you worry about Martha. She is excellent with figures and there is a certain organization to this tangled mess. She knows exactly where everything is.” Jeremy was impressed at rate of Martha's progress. Finally the elusive entrepreneur appeared carrying boxes of fabric samples from the backroom. She was surprised to find visitors.

  “Gentlemen, welcome. Please excuse the mess.” She was in her element and appeared perfectly at ease. Both men were awed.