“I’m so glad to hear your voice, Sydney.”
A chill ran down my spine. “Why?”
“Can’t a mother be happy to hear her daughter’s voice? I mean, I used to hear you all the time. Now that you’re in college, you seem so far away.”
I smiled at her even though she couldn’t see it. She missed me. Most parents missed their kids when they went off to college, but I had it worse since I was an only child.
“I miss you too, Mom. I’ll visit you again sometime soon, okay?”
“Do you want me to pour you a cup?” Jason called out.
“Who’s that?” Mom asked suspiciously.
I held a finger to my lips, signaling Jason to shut up. Mom had never met any of the guys I was with and I didn’t want to start introducing them to her now.
“It’s no one, just a friend.”
“You have a guy friend? What’s his name?” I could hear the joy in her voice. It was like she was already picturing my wedding.
“Jason. He’s no one special.”
Jason gave me the bird, showing he didn’t like my choice of words. I waved him off. He gave me a pointed look before going back to the coffee.
“Don’t say such things. He can probably hear you.” It was like she knew. It was eerie. “Tell me more about this Jason. Wait, isn’t that the name of the guy you met in California?”
My mom never forgot anything.
I swallowed my heart and said, “Yeah, he’s the same guy.”
She was quiet for a beat. “Does he go to the same university as you?”
I tugged on a piece of my hair, turning my back to Jason. I didn’t like being questioned. Sweat beaded my forehead. “Yeah…he transferred over.”
“Don’t let him go, Sydney. I know how you are with your negativity. Love can be a good thing. I hope Jason shows you that.” Her voice was soft and dreamy. She was probably online looking for my wedding dress.
“I know, Mom. I’m trying to look on the bright side, but it’s hard when I…” I looked behind me and found Jason staring at me over the bar’s counter. My skin itched, making me uncomfortable. I walked into the bathroom and locked the door.
“So you’ve known him for a while then if he was in Malibu all summer. I want to talk to him.”
“No.” I stared at myself in the mirror. It took all my strength to not bash my head into the glass for telling her about Jason. She’d never let it go.
“Give me one good reason not to,” she said, sounding almost business-like.
I leaned against the counter, my back to the mirror. “Because you’re going to ask him questions or you’re going to tell him stuff.”
“Fine, then bring him with you when you visit me.”
My jaw dropped. I didn’t want to picture my mother and Jason in the same room. She’d show him my baby pictures and embarrass the hell out of me.
“No! You’ll embarrass me!”
“If he’s a friend, why do you care? I showed Amelia things from your childhood and you didn’t spaz out on me like you are now.”
“He’s…he’s…” I was lost for words.
“That’s what I thought. Are you free tomorrow night? I’ll make your favorite dinner.”
“Pork chops?”
“Mmm-hmm. I even have cinnamon apple sauce.”
She knew how to get me. My mother was an awesome cook, and I loved to dip my pork chops in apple sauce.
I sighed and heard Mom chuckling. She knew she had won. That woman was scary good.
“Let me ask him…” I opened the door and found Jason taking a sip of coffee.
“Are you free tomorrow night?” I asked, holding the phone against my shoulder. I shook my head, hinting that he should say no.
He looked at me, then the phone. A wicked smile spread across his face. “Yes, I’m free,” he said loud enough so my mom could hear.
I put the phone back to my ear. “He said—”
“I heard him. I’ll see you tomorrow. Can’t wait. I love you, bye.” She hung up on me to avoid further arguing.
“Thanks a lot, asshole. Now you have to meet my mom.” I tossed my phone onto the couch and walked into the kitchen, straight to the coffee pot.
Jason gave me his signature smile, making my insides clench. “I want to meet her. And if you would’ve answered me, your coffee would be ready.”
I glared at him as I poured my coffee. “Why do you want to meet her?”
“Because I’m your boyfriend. Your parents are supposed to grill the boyfriend.”
“So you want her to scare you? That’s dumb.”
He shrugged. “That’s how it was back in the day. Can’t I be a gentleman?”
I couldn’t think of a good response to his question. I blew on my coffee, trying to cool it before drinking. “Thanks for letting me crash here.”
Jason nodded, downing the last of his coffee. “No problem. Hunter texted me and said your car is back at the parking garage of your dorm.”
“Awesome, thanks.” I took a sip of coffee, letting the warm liquid spread across my body like lava. Nothing felt more refreshing than drinking warm coffee, except liquor, but with coffee there was never a hangover afterwards.
Chapter Sixteen
We pulled into my mom’s driveway five minutes early. Dread held my lungs in a vice grip, making it hard to breathe.
Why did I have to drive so fast? Why were all the damn lights green?
I unbuckled myself but didn’t move to open the door. “We don’t have to do this. Let’s go to a restaurant. I’ll tell her you’re sick.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just your mom, not the Pope.”
“I’d rather be meeting the Pope,” I said quietly.
Jason got out of the car and waved for me to follow. I crossed my arms over my chest, refusing to move, like a stubborn child.
He laughed at me as he came to my side of the car. “My God, is your mother a witch or something? I mean, you can’t be this scared of her meeting me,” he said, leaning against my open door.
I didn’t like him towering over me. I stood and wrapped my arms around my torso. “Don’t you remember I’m new to dating? A boy has never come home with me before. She’s going to be all over you.” I looked up into his eyes. He stared back, determination etched on his face.
He cupped my chin. “Another first I can claim. I like that,” he said, lightly kissing my lips.
My heart grew three sizes. How could Jason be real? It was crazy.
“Come on, I think she knows we’re here. I saw the curtain move.” He grabbed my arm, towing me away from the car.
I closed my door and followed like a disobedient dog on a leash, wriggling to try to escape my collar. “You want her to see you abusing me?”
He shook his head, but held my arm tighter. “This isn’t abuse. I’m moving your ass away from the car so you can’t run away.”
We walked to the front door and he rang the doorbell. I held my breath, wishing to be struck by lightning so I could leave.
“Will you wipe that look off your face? You look like you’re about to get a shot in your ass.”
“Let’s go do that. I’m in need of—”
“My baby!” Mom cheered as she swung open the door. She gathered me in her arms and gave me a bone-crushing hug. Why did all the women in my life want to break my ribs?
The familiar scent of jasmine and cinnamon filled my nose. That was what my mother smelled like. It was the scent of home.
Mom and I looked like twins. The only differences were she was a couple inches shorter than me and she had a hint of gray in her long, dirty blonde hair. Her eyes were as blue as the ocean. She claimed that’s what attracted my father to her. I think we had the same kind of laugh too, at least it sounded like it when we both laughed at the same parts in movies. After a few long seconds, she let me go.
“This handsome fellow must be Jason.” She turned her attention to Jason, giving him a warm smile.
“Nice to meet you
, ma’am,” Jason replied, holding out his hand.
Mom laughed, shaking his hand. “What a gentleman. Please come in and call me Jessica.” She made a motion with her hand, sweeping us inside.
“You have a lovely home, Jessica,” Jason said.
“Suck up,” I said under my breath. Jason elbowed me in the arm.
“Thank you. Dinner will be a few more minutes. Please make yourself at home, Jason.” Mom wandered away into the kitchen. The smell of pork chops made my mouth water.
“This you?” Jason had somehow made it across the living room and was studying the “Wall of Sydney.” It was a bunch of pictures of me from babyhood to age five arranged in a pattern based on size. The smallest was on the ends and the biggest was in the middle.
I closed the distance between us and looked at the wall plastered with my face. “Yes, this is what happens when you only have one kid.”
He smiled and looked over each picture like it was fine art. “You’re cute.”
“That’s my little June bug,” Mom said from behind us. She gave each of us a glass of iced tea. “Just made this. Taste it.”
Mom was always finding recipes on the Internet and experimenting. This had to be one of them. I took a sip. “It’s good. What is it?”
“Raspberry cherry tea,” she replied happily.
“I like it too, thank you,” Jason said. His glass was already half gone.
“My, you must love it.” Mom giggled. “Glad I made two pitchers of it.”
A timer sounded from the kitchen. “Dinner’s done! Sydney, will you be a doll and set the table?”
“Yes.” I led Jason into the dining room and left him for a few seconds to get the plates and silverware from the kitchen.
As Jason sat a plate down on the table, he whispered, “Your mom seems sweet. What were you so worried about?”
“Just wait. She doesn’t show her true self to strangers.”
He gave me a puzzled look. I brushed him off. My mom knew how to put on a front and hide her honest feelings. It always scared me how she could yell at me for back talking and then answer the phone with the sweetest voice. I wasn’t sure what my mom was thinking. I wouldn’t know until she called me tonight and told me her judgment on Jason.
Lucky, my mom’s German shepherd mix was barking from somewhere inside the house. She was probably in the master bedroom, since my mom didn’t want the dog digging in the garden.
Mom came out of the kitchen with a plate full of pork chops. “Can you get the mac and cheese?” she asked me.
“Yes, and what about the apple sauce?”
She chuckled. “It’s right next to it.”
“Awesome.” I was halfway to the kitchen when I spun around, realizing I was leaving Mom and Jason alone for the first time. My heart was in my throat, trying to choke me.
Jason nodded me the okay, telling me he would be fine while I was in the kitchen. I bit my lip but went to get the rest of the food.
Once everything was on the table, we sat down. The air was filled with chatter, and stomachs were stuffed with delicious food. I told Mom about my classes and Jason told her about his. Mom talked about her garden and Lucky, the two things she loved after me.
It was actually fun having Jason and my mom together. We laughed and told stories to each other like Jason had been coming to family dinners for years. When dinner was over, Jason helped Mom clean up and I went to the restroom.
When I came back, I found the dining room empty. I went into the kitchen and found Mom whispering to Jason. It was like they were sharing secrets and wanting to keep me out of the loop.
“Hey,” I said, walking in on them.
“Hey, angel. We’re just about done here. Can you let Lucky out of the room?”
I narrowed my eyes at them. Mom was acting like nothing was out of the ordinary. Jason only smiled at me.
“Yeah.” I went to her room and released the whirlwind that was her dog. Lucky was eight-years-old, but her energy level was that of a puppy. She would run and play for hours. Lucky circled me and then ran to the kitchen, knowing there was a stranger and food in there.
She howled at Jason, wanting to play with him.
“Wow, that’s a big dog!”
I petted her black and white spotted fur. “Yeah, you should’ve seen her mama when she was alive.”
Jason bent down to pet Lucky’s back as she raced by. “What did she look like?”
“A wolf,” Mom said simply.
Jason gave me a wide-eyed look. “She wasn’t, just a German shepherd that looked very much like a wolf,” I assured him.
“Hey, girl, you wanna play?” He clapped his hands at Lucky.
Lucky barked, running through his legs. “Whoa! Don’t knock me down, you silly dog.”
Mom and I laughed. “She plays rough,” I joked.
“Not like you…”
I felt my face instantly pale. He didn’t just say that with my mom right there.
My skin burned. Mom watched me with those steel blue eyes of hers. Jason turned red. He knew what he said was wrong.
“Look at the time, we should be going.” I pushed Jason—not hard, but he got the message.
“Yeah, homework and all…” He agreed, not wanting to say much.
“Mmm-hmm.” Mom was giving us both the look. She knew what was going on between us.
“It was nice to meet you, Jason. Remember what I said.” Mom shook Jason’s hand again.
“No worries, I will. It was nice meeting you too, Jessica.”
Mom gave me a big kiss on my cheek and gave me another bone-crushing hug. “Don’t be a stranger.”
“I love you too.”
She released me. “Call me tonight, okay?”
That was code for: I need to talk to you about Jason.
“I will.”
She blinked a couple times, hiding her tears. Mom was always mushy when it came to me and growing up. Finally meeting a boyfriend must’ve made her feel like her baby girl was now a grown woman. I only hoped she wouldn’t cry for long. It wasn’t good for her.
We waved to her as I pulled onto the street. When we were on the highway, the desire to know the secret Jason and my mom shared became too strong. I had to be in the loop.
“What did my mom say to you when I was in the bathroom?” I tried to ask casually, like it didn’t matter.
He shrugged, flashing me a huge smile. I was about to say something else when he turned up the radio. It was Emilie Autumn singing “Fight Like A Girl.” He was using her as a cover. I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles were white, pondering what they could’ve talked about as we headed back to campus.
Chapter Seventeen
Jason and I parted at my dorm. Hunter was picking him up in a few minutes. He kissed me good-bye before leaving. I had the place to myself since Amelia had to meet some classmates at the library for a group project. I took the opportunity to call my mom and see if she’d crack and tell me what she told Jason.
“Sydney, what’s up?” Mom asked, trying to act like she was my age and knew what was cool. She had no clue she sounded lame.
“Just got home and thought I’d call you,” I said, sitting down on my bed.
“That’s sweet. Is Jason still with you?”
“No, he went to his place. I’m in my dorm. Thinking of watching a show or something before doing my homework.”
She laughed. “Breaks are rare in college. I remember those days…”
Please, not another story! She never shuts up about her past, sometimes going too much into detail. I never wanted to know what went down when she conceived me.
“So…” I said, trying to bring her back to reality.
“I like that Jason boy. He’s sweet.”
“You really think so?” I asked, leaning back against my pillows.
“Yes. He’s not pressuring you to do anything, is he?” Her voice went from airy to firm in one second flat.
If she only knew my list of summer boys, but
then she’d probably have a heart attack. “No, he’s not.” It wasn’t a lie, there was no pressure. We both wanted to have sex.
“Good. You know how to deal with peer pressure. I’m glad you’re such a strong, young woman.”
The guilt was getting heavier on my shoulders. It was like she knew and was testing me. “Yeah…so what did you tell Jason when I was in the bathroom?” I didn’t want to ask point blank, but I had to change the subject.
“Oh, that. It’s nothing to worry about.”
She was being vague on purpose. It was like my mom and Jason were plotting against me.
“But—”
“Honey, why can’t I talk to the boy in your life privately? You don’t need to know everything. I was simply talking to him, making sure he’s worthy of you. Plus it doesn’t hurt to put the fear of God in him.”
Ugh, she threatened him.
“You told him you’d hurt him, didn’t you? If he hurt me?”
“I’m your mom. I do that kind of stuff.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. Of course that was what she’d do. I knew it.
“And worthy?” I paused for a moment. I got what she meant with that. “Oh, you don’t mean husband-worthy, do you?” I moaned.
She’ll never give it up!
“Sydney, please, I’m not getting any younger. I’d like to meet my grandchildren.”
“What if I don’t have any children? I don’t want to fill all the gender roles of a woman. I just want a career, a life!”
Mom sighed, as if all her fight had escaped, leaving her empty. “Couldn’t you humor me, just once? Honestly, Sydney, I wish you never took that damn sociology class.”
“That class only gave me facts. It didn’t make me desire to never have kids or get married.”
“I hope that changes. Family is one of the best things someone can have in their life.”
How many times have I had this conversation with my mother? A trillion? It was pointless. She didn’t understand me. I never wanted kids, never thought I did…but I wonder…if Jason and I had kids, what would they look like? Maybe our baby would have dirty blonde hair like me and silver eyes, like Jason. I shook my head. Never have I pictured having kids, not until just now.
Breaking Down Sydney (Sydney West #2) Page 9
