Breaking Down Sydney (Sydney West #2)

by Brittney Coon

  I looked into his stormy eyes. My knees weakened. He was right. How screwed up our lives were before was what brought us together.

  His mouth parted, and I kissed him. He bit my bottom lip and hooked his fingers into the loops of my jeans. He pushed my ass against the railing and butterflies chased each other all around us. People laughed and took pictures in the distance, unaware of our passion. Voices filled the air like music. Jason grabbed a handful of my hair and dipped me back, kissing me like he needed me to live. Fire grew in my belly, moving south. I raked my fingernails down his arms and closed my eyes.

  When I opened them, a butterfly landed on Jason’s shoulder. I giggled and watched it fly away.

  “You’re mine, Jason King,” I murmured, against his lips.

  “I’d have it no other way,” he replied. “Come with me.”

  Jason took my hand and towed me into the center of the wonderland. He motioned toward a blue chair. Its back was shaped like a butterfly. I sat down and looked up at him, wondering what he was planning. People gathered around us. In the corner of my eye, I saw Amelia with Hunter’s arms wrapped around her torso. I turned my head and saw my mom, Kylie, and Ellie standing by each other, smiling in our direction.

  My attention went back to Jason. “What is—”

  “Sydney, I know we haven’t known each other for even a year yet, but I feel like I’ve known you forever. We share a lot of the same scars, and I swear we’ll never end up like our crappy fathers.” His eyes flicked over to our moms and then back to me. “We’ll be more like our badass moms.”

  I swallowed and stared into a sea of silver. His eyes pulled me in, trying to drown me. “If I was half the woman my mom was, I’d be thankful, but what does—”

  Jason got down on one knee before me and held a dark blue, velvet box in his hand. “This is part two of your Christmas present, but I wanted a better venue, so I had to wait a bit.”

  A humming took over my hearing, making me deaf.

  Jason’s proposing to me? What the fuck? We never talked about marriage. Amelia and Hunter did. They have a plan! Then Jason throws a curveball at me.

  My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, making it hard to speak. “Jason…I…” He said part two of my gift. I grabbed my diamond earring in my left ear, fingering it. Oh shit.

  He opened the box and inside was a diamond ring with smaller diamonds on both sides. My heart fell out of my chest and died from shock.

  “You’re all I want, Syd. You make me happy. I couldn’t picture my life without you and being away from you for those few weeks made me realize how much you mean to me.”

  I licked my lips and looked around. Everyone was watching us. We had taken over the wonderland. No one cared about the butterflies flying around us anymore.

  My eyes dropped to the velvet box. As if fate wanted to rub it in more, a blue butterfly landed on the ring. Jason laughed and brought the ring up closer to me. “Will you marry me, Sydney West?”

  Jason was my friend, my lover, and my savior. It took me too damn long to realize that without him I’d be hollow. I’d become something worse than I was in the past. He made me someone new, someone better. He was mine and I was his.

  But marriage? Oh my God.

  My mom burst into tears. Ellie rubbed her back and muttered something to her. Amelia wiped a tear from her cheek and smiled at us like she was part of the plan.

  “Jason…” I took a breath and stared into his eyes. “Since I met you, I’ve felt things I’ve never knew existed. I can’t sleep without you in my bed. Thinking of living one day without you makes my chest hurt, as if an elephant is sitting on me.” I touched his cheek, running my fingers down his jawbone. “I never knew what I wanted until you came to Arizona for me. You shattered the picture I had for my life…” My voice cracked. I couldn’t hold my tears back any more. “You replaced it with something better. Your scent drives me wild yet makes me feel safe, like I’m home. I could never be with anyone else after you. It’s like you…”

  My mom sobbed louder. Ellie held her close. Kylie joined in, rubbing my mom’s shoulder. She always cried when watching romantic movies. This was probably overpowering her emotions.

  Jason brushed a piece of hair out of my face. The mist turned back on, creating an eerie glow around the dome. Butterflies chased each other around us, flying a few inches above our heads.

  “Sydney, I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy.” He took the ring out of the box and held out his hand for mine. “Will you make me the happiest man?”

  I gave him my hand. “Yes, Jason King. I’ll marry you!”

  He slid the ring onto my finger and kissed me. Our lips molded to each other. Jason got to his feet and he pulled me out of the chair. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  Jason sealed my mouth with his, killing my words. I gave into him, parting my lips. His tongue invaded me, dancing with mine. His hands were at my lower back, pressing me into him. I wrapped my arms around his neck. We kissed like there weren’t one hundred people watching us.

  Somewhere I heard clapping. We broke away from each other, breathing hard. We found Kylie, Hunter, and Amelia giving us applause a couple feet away, as if we had just won the lottery. Maybe we had. Mom smiled proudly, wiping away her tears. Ellie held my mom close to her. She looked beyond happy as well.

  Jason cupped my chin with his hand, tilting my head to look into his eyes. “I love you, Sydney West, even with all your insanity. And one day soon, you’re going to be my wife.”

  My heart came back to life and fought against all its scars, all the pain it felt for so many years. The old Sydney would’ve run for the hills at the idea of marriage, but I wasn’t her anymore. Everything was clear to me now. I traced his jawbone with the tip of my finger.

  “I love you, Jason King, even though you’re a pain in the ass. You have broken me down, all my walls are rubble, and I’ve fallen desperately in love with you. And on that day you become my husband, I’ll be yours for always.”

  He kissed me again. I didn’t want it to stop. The feeling in me was nirvana. It almost felt like flying, only better.

  It reminded me of a quote by Dr. Seuss.

  You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

  My theory of love wasn’t completely wrong. Sometimes bad things happen and couples grow apart. All I had to do was open myself up and let love in. It was something to treasure and not take for granted.

  Jason had broken the spell that had claimed me for too long. He was my friend, my partner, my lover, and soon-to-be my husband. We shared secrets, pain, and joy. He went through every shade of me and was still standing by my side. I’d finally grown up. I could see my future with Jason, both of us happily married with good careers, maybe even having a couple of kids, and my mom would finally get off my case.

  Life was always an adventure with Jason. If I knew anything about him, it was that he knew how to break me down and I’d always give in willingly to his delicious touch.

  ***Sneak Peek***

  Piecing Together Sydney

  A Sydney West Novel, Book 3

  By Brittney Coon

  Chapter One

  Summer had returned once again. This was my last summer as an undergraduate. Before Jason, I didn’t think too much about where I’d go to graduate school. I was going to dig deeper in my research during my senior year in Arizona and apply to the best three colleges for psychology. Now I had another half, soon-to-be my husband, to think of.

  This was also my last summer as a “free” woman. After saying I’d marry Jason at Butterflyland in December, I committed my body, heart, and soul to him. I could never see myself in the arms of another man nor have one in bed beside me again. The old me would’ve flipped at the idea of marriage. I didn’t feel like that anymore, but I’d be a liar if I didn’t say I wasn’t scared of becoming Jason’s wife. It was hard to learn how to be a girlfriend and now we w
ere taking this huge leap of faith. We haven’t even known each other for a year yet!

  California was so close. I could smell the ocean’s breeze. The excitement made my bones ache and caused my eyes to glide to the clock every few minutes. Summer was mine once I finished this final for psychology and law. I bit my lip and pushed my thoughts away. I needed to focus. With a flick of the paper, I found I was at least twenty minutes from freedom.

  That was until I saw the two essay questions on the last page. I cursed under my breath. Finals were the worst torture for the soul, at least for me. Every five to ten minutes, a student rose from their chair and exited the class. I saw Professor Stein come and scoop up their test before anyone got any ideas to turn it over and take a peek.

  My stomach churned. My skin wanted to peel away and escape out the door. I dreaded being last during a test. The idea of being alone with the professor always petrified me. It was all in my head, but that didn’t stop the invisible ants from biting me all over my body.

  The last question took me a moment. My brain blanked on the details involving the insanity defense. With my eyes closed tight, I imagined my notebook with all the answers. The image was blurry, but slowly words began to reveal themselves, almost magically. Halfway down the page in chapter two was what I was looking for.

  The insanity defense is made based off of forensic mental health professionals using the appropriate test for jurisdiction. The defense is rare in Ireland, United Kingdom, and the USA. The defense has increased in the UK though since the passing of the Criminal Procedure (Insanity and Unfitness to Plead) Act 1991.

  After exhaling I finished writing my answer and turned the page. I rolled my shoulders back as I read over the first essay question.

  “You are a lawyer for a mother caught stealing for her child so he could eat. Defend her and explain why she shouldn’t be charged with the crime.”

  That was an easy one. I wrote a quick two paragraph speech that would hold up in court and get the mother a “get out of jail free” card.

  The next question was a different story.

  “You must explain to a court of jurors why a serial killer mustn’t receive the death penalty for his crimes against humanity.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Native American girl next to me stand and exit the room. I narrowed my eyes at her back and returned to the mocking essay question. With a quick glance around the room, I counted only five people left, including myself. I thought of something to say and jotted it down. It might not have made sense, but it was better than leaving it blank. After a silent prayer to pass the class, I flipped over my test and was free. It was hard to control my excitement. I forced myself to walk normally to the door and smiled to myself. The semester was finally over.

  Glee summed up how I felt. The sky looker bluer and the clouds fluffier. Maybe I had been in that room too long. What did it matter? It was summer vacation and I was going to the fabulous beach of Malibu in twenty-four hours with my best friend, her boyfriend, and my fiancé.

  Wow, my fiancé. We’d been engaged for about five months now, but it was still surprising to see a diamond ring on my left hand. I never wear rings on my left, only my right hand. I didn’t feel the pressure of wedding planning yet. We were saving that until summer since we were going to get married in Malibu. We did book a location for the wedding and a band in advance; those were not something to get last minute. At least that’s what everyone told me, everyone being my mom, Amelia, Kylie, and Ellie.

  I sat on the wooden bench outside the psychology building to wait for Jason. He was taking a final in one of his computer classes in the next building. My phone alerted me it was low on life. So much for scrolling through Facespace while passing the time.

  I leaned back against the bench and watched people walk by. Some were lost in their music, nodding their heads as they went. Others had this look of pure terror as if they just saw a ghost. They were probably on their way to a final, poor souls. It was easy to see those who already learned they passed their class. It wasn’t hard to know if you always got A’s on everything. Couples strolled by holding hands. I nervously turned my ring around my finger. Next year was my senior year and I’d be attending classes as a married woman at the age of twenty-two.

  A chill ran down my back. God, I hope I wouldn’t get pregnant during my last year. Definitely going to stay on birth control, and condoms weren’t a bad idea either. It was hard enough to wrap my head around marriage. A baby would put me over the deep end.

  God, what did I get myself into? I only wanted to have fun. Now my summer boy will be my husband. How insane is that?

  I stared down at my ring, looking at it shine in the sun. The diamond captured the light perfectly, turning it into a rainbow of color. For the rest of my life I’d wear a ring on my left hand. Forever Jason was going to own my heart. He was a better keeper than I. My heart was succumbed to a cage of ice when it was in my possession. With Jason it was warm and cared for.

  Someone cleared their throat a few feet in front of me. I looked up and found Jason giving me one of his signature grins. That smile made my stomach feel like it was filled with butterflies.

  “Hey, Syd. Admiring your rock, I see?” He chuckled, sitting down next to me.

  A blush burnt my cheeks. “Maybe. My phone’s dead, so I’m bored. How was your test?”

  He shook his head. “I told you last night you should plug your phone in, but you never listen.”

  I flipped my hair over my shoulder. “Because I would’ve forgotten it on my way out.”

  “Not if I unplugged it and put it in your bag before I left for class.” He grabbed my left hand, running his thumb over my ring. “I’m good at taking care of you, Syd.”

  A shy smile tugged my lips upward. “Yeah, I know.” I leaned forward and kissed him. He tasted like mint and coffee. I wanted to drink him in and let everything else go. His teeth grazed my bottom lip, sending a coil of need through my core.

  “I’d love to go back to the dorm, but it’s all packed up.”

  Jason stood up and took my hand, pulling me to his side. “We’ll have enough time for that in California.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “And our honeymoon is going to be incredible…” He put his lips to my ear. “I’m going to make you unable to walk.”

  I dragged my finger down the side of his face. “We’ll see who tames who. But until then, have you heard from Amelia or Hunter? We need to hit the road.”

  “Hunter is turning in his textbooks at the bookstore. I think he said Amelia left to get coffee.”

  We walked down the sidewalk together, bumping shoulders. “She does love her coffee.”

  Jason enlaced his fingers with mine. “This semester went by fast. I can’t believe the next time we’re on this campus, we’re going to be Mr. and Mrs.”

  Three sorority girls ran by, squirting each other with water guns. They were carefree and probably all going to Mexico or another party place to get wasted and get laid. I was never like them. I didn’t have “sisters” to do bad things with. I did naughty all on my own. My name was on every list at nightclubs in LA. My plans were filled with parties and my days were wasted lying in bed, sleeping off God knew what.

  I glanced at Jason and saw my future. It would be steady and happy and consist of watching movies under the blanket together and sex whenever we wanted. Jason was going to be there for me so I’d never fall into that black pit of despair again. When a guy transfers colleges for you, that’s a clear sign he’s the one. Or possibly a stalker, but in Jason’s case he’s the love of my life.

  “I love you.” I kissed his cheek and rested my head on his shoulder as we walked past the Student Union.

  He snaked his arm around my hips. We stood by a stone wall out of the path of people flying by on bikes and skateboards.

  “You’re beautiful.” His hand went up my spine.

  My heart hammered in my chest. I wanted to fuck Jason right there or drag him into the library and find a place no one
was studying. Too bad you need at least three people to check out a study room.

  I batted my lashes. “What do you love most about me?”

  “Hmm.” He kissed my forehead. “Your smile.” His lips moved down my jaw. “The way you stand up for yourself and those you love.” He brushed his hand across my left breast, making it pound for attention. “The way you look when I’m inside you and—”

  Someone sighed to my right. I looked over Jason’s shoulder and saw Amelia holding a coffee cup. “Hey!” I tried to sound happy to see her, but it fell flat.

  She gave me a long look. “You are obsessed with each other and you try to say I’m crazy for Hunter. At least I don’t try to mount him in public.”

  I broke away from Jason and gave my best friend a hug. “Whatever you say, but remember I don’t make playlists about—”

  “Hunter loves my playlists!” She huffed. Amelia was funny when angry, like a puffed up cat.

  “Relax. This time tomorrow we’re going to be in a beach house and breathing in ocean air again.”

  Amelia jumped up and down. “I can’t wait!”

  I took a step back, staring at her coffee cup in alarm. “Calm yourself before you spill.”

  She laughed, lifting the cup up. “It has a sip or two left in it.”

  Jason came to my side like a magnet. “That’s a relief.”

  Amelia downed the last of her coffee and tossed it into a trashcan nearby. “Hunter!” She took off running like fan girls do after their favorite singer.

  He picked her up and swung her around in a circle. It was as if watching a take from a cheesy romance movie. They kissed, and her leg popped up, not kidding. The part of me that didn’t like seeing that kind of affection made a gagging noise.

  Jason elbowed me in the side. “Syd, we’re not far off from them.”