A Journey Deep

by Beth Reason

  Chapter 8

  I woke in an all too familiar clean, white room. For a second I was sure we scrubbed. I was sure I was back in the medical ward on Utopia, burned, beaten, broken from some horrid crash. I calmed myself, let my brain catch up. I pushed up on my elbows and looked around. It was a similar room, that was for sure. But there were some important differences. The biggest was that I wasn't alone. Everybody in my team was in the room with me, sleeping off the after affects of the travel. My room in Utopia hadn't been close to big enough to fit us all.

  I sat and dangled my feet over the edge of the bed, slowly breathing deeply in the supplied oxygen. My head felt like a little man ran around hammering from the inside. It was the gas. The gas and the speed of travel.

  I just had to catch up. I repeated that to myself over and over.

  I breathed and rubbed my eyes. They focused. We made the flight. We landed. I remember being awake enough to exit. We all were. We walked like robots, off the craft, down some extended hallway, straight into an elevator. Down, down, down. I remembered being hooked up to the oxygen. I looked at my arm. It had an IV in, too. I squinted to read the writing. Saline. Just fluids. We never did this on our ship. But then again, it sometimes took a couple days to shake off the effects of high speed travel. No wonder Christophe looked so wiped when he got back.

  I looked down the row of beds. They were still catching up. Make it to a bed, lie down, and let the body do what it will. Standard protocol. I wondered what kind of pilots were in the control room. Had to be bots. I've been doing jumps of different kinds my whole life, and this relatively short hop knocked me out. I couldn't imagine anyone being able to handle it enough to guide an aircraft. It had to be piloted by bots. I couldn't think of any other way.

  I reached my arms up and stretched. The IV pulled, so I untaped it and slid it out. I got up and instantly felt the weight difference from Utopia. Even Utopia's artificial gravity system hadn't been enough to simulate true Earth gravity.

  Earth. I was on Earth.

  I looked to a bank of windows. Some sort of tinting was over them. I padded over, holding the furniture and wall as I went for support. The gravity would definitely take some getting used to. There was a control panel, and I slid my finger over the sensor. The tinting on the window in front of me lightened. I didn't want to wake everyone. I just wanted to see it. I slid the sensor until I could see clearly outside but still have most of the light blocked. It was day time. Where ever we were, it was full day. I could see the sun high in the sky. A mountain. A city.

  And people.

  So. Many. People.

  Cars. Aerobuses. Trains. People riding. People walking. People swarming in the fresh air, floors and floors below. They scurried. They hurried. They moved and pushed and drove and ran and cycled and...

  None of them even knew I was there. None of them could see me. They didn't even yet know I existed. I looked down on them all. I could have taken them all.

  I shook my head and felt a shiver. Where did that disturbing thought come from?

  "So peaceful, isn't it?"

  Christophe's voice made me jump out of my skin.

  He laughed. "I thought you heard me say hello." He was talking very softly. I noticed he didn't have an IV at all. He said he travels a lot. Perhaps he just got used to it over time.

  "Listen. All those people and not one sound."

  He was right. I turned to look. I couldn't hear anything in the room but the soft flow of breath of those sleeping.

  "You step out that door down there and the noise hits you like a wall." He leaned his head on the glass like me. "Amazing what technology can do."

  "Yeah."

  We stood looking at Earth. Looking at people. Looking at what they all wanted me to call my home.

  "Is it like Laak'sa?"

  That was absurd. I was awake a whole five minutes. How could I possibly know? But I did. Already I did. "It's heavy here."

  "Mm. I love Mars. It feels like you've shed twenty pounds."

  "And there's one star here, not two."

  "What else?"

  I shrugged. "I don't know. I just got here!"

  "Try. You're a scientist. Try."

  What was he doing? He had that sound to his voice again, the same as he got when talking about some new discovery or theory.

  I scanned the city below. Differences. "There are a lot of people crammed together."

  "Doesn't Laak'sa have more?"

  "Yes, but it's taller. Spread up, not crammed all in one level. That way, it never really feels crowded unless there's an assembly. Why don't they build more here? Why aren't there upper levels?"

  Christophe gave a small laugh. "I don't know."

  "The buildings are dull. On Laak'sa, they shine with an iridescence because of the metal."

  "All of them?"

  "Yes. And it's green there. Everything, practically even the air. Everything here is..." I didn't want to say dirty or boring, even though that's exactly how it looked. "It's plain."

  "This is just the city. There's great beauty in other places. More than just streets and people and concrete and smog."

  I looked back at the sight below. "The transports are different. There's a lot of ground transport here, isn't there?"

  "Trains, bikes, cars. Yes."

  "Maybe because of the softer ground, there's a lot more flying on Laak'sa. More rivers. More plants. More noise. Always noise. Everywhere."

  "As I said, technology." He tapped the glass.

  "And they have technology, too. But there's still noise. A hum that's everywhere. A buzz. The water rushing. The storms brewing. The ocean crashing. Even in the city. Even through the city." I shook my head. "It's very different."

  Christophe looked out over the city. "I think I would like your Laak'sa, Jake. I think I would like it very much."

  It felt like he was telling me something he wasn't saying. I have thought about that moment a lot. It really meant something, to him and to me, and I can't for the life of me figure out what.

  "I hope you find some differences about Earth that you like."

  I hoped so, too.

  I wanted that moment to stretch on. The discovery. The quick judgments all people of science think they're entitled to, and the slow examination and validation of them after that. I wanted to savor it. I wanted a few more minutes to just stand and look and absorb and to do it with Christophe. He understood something the others did not. But people began to wake. Christophe left the ward to make our arrangements. It occurred to me as he was walking away that he was not in a uniform, at least not a travel one like we wore. He was in full dress. He looked...perfect. As he did the first time we met. He was on the clock.

  Marlon had a difficult time shaking the effects of the travel. We were to remain in the ward until every one passed a series of alertness tests. I didn't mind Marlon's delay. Lynette and I sat on a bed and looked out the window. We silently watched the afternoon pass to evening together.

  Dinner was provided. It was the burgers that Ralph had missed. He told me to order mine rare, which I did. To my delight, it was very similar to the tartare. Lynette only picked at her food. "My stomach feels flip floppy."

  "You're still catching up," insisted Dr. Karl. "Eat something. It will help."

  Marlon only sat and looked at his plate, shaking his head every once in awhile. Ralph was worried about him. I could see it in his face. He kept prodding Marlon to eat, to try stretching, to count, to tell him his name.

  After dinner, Christophe returned to get Reginald. They left the room and when they came back, Reginald was frowning. "Well, kids. Get comfy. Looks like we'll be here for the night."

  "Thank god. I'm going back to sleep." Jillian got up from the bench she was sitting on and flopped back into her bed. In seconds she was back to sleep.

  "Marlon, why don't we lie back down," said Dr. Karl. He helped Marlon up and dragged him to a bed. Like Jillian, in just a moment he was out. Dr. Karl returned and asked
Lynette how she was feeling. "It affects everyone differently. No shame in it whatsoever. Myself, I'm feeling a little peaked."

  "I'll stay up with the kids," Ralph said. "Go on and get some sleep. I'm guessing we're going to have one hell of a day tomorrow." The doc nodded and shuffled to his bed.

  "I want you all to get rest tonight," Christophe said raising an eyebrow in my direction.

  I nodded, then a thought popped into my head. "Hey, Christophe? Is there news? You know about the fah'ti?" I asked.

  Christophe hesitated a second, then shook his head. I felt a stab of disappointment. It must have shown on my face. "Chin up. We only had a rough estimate on the timeline, and no concrete proof that we could reactivate it. I'm sure it's just a technical speed bump."

  "Oh." I sighed. "Okay. Thanks."

  "We'll let you know as soon as we know anything," Reginald promised. "Deal?"

  It was something. "Deal."

  Reginald bid us good night, and he and Christophe left.

  "Where are they going?"

  "Big brass gets the fancy digs," said Ralph, as if that explained anything. "You okay, Lynette?"

  She nodded. "Yeah. I'm feeling more solid."

  Ralph looked at me. I nodded. He knew I was fine. He checked the clock. "An hour, then I expect you two to be tucked in and sleeping. I mean it. It's going to be a whopper of a day tomorrow."

  We went and sat on a bench by the window. No tinting was on the glass at all anymore. It was night. There was no reason to tint, no sun to filter out. One by one, the lights in the ward dimmed until they were barely glowing, just on enough so that people could find the bathroom in the night. It let us see the lit city below. It was actually...well...beautiful. Completely different from Laak'sa, especially at night. But there was something so arresting about the city all lit up in different colors, the lights on the vehicles zigging and zagging, the signs announcing businesses, some blinking, some just glowing. We sat on the bench and watched.

  "What do you think?"

  "I...don't know. It's different, that's for sure. What city is this?"

  "Houston."

  "Where's that?"

  "Texas." I just looked at her. I didn't remember a Texas. "In the United States," she said. "In the southwest."

  "Why are we here? I didn't think this was the capital." Was I wrong?

  "It's not. But most of the space craft lands here. Something having to do with reentry or something?" She shook her head. "Maybe it's just habit from the old NASA program. Whatever. We land here, then we go to wherever our meeting is."

  "Where's that?"

  "I don't know. The IOC has headquarters in all participating nations."

  "How many countries are in the IOC?"

  "About thirty." She shrugged. "I'm guessing we're going to the one in Washington, DC since we're in the United States. But not necessarily. There may be a call for a more neutral location, like Montreal or Lima. Or even a European neutrality, like Oslo or...anywhere. I guess it doesn't do much good to speculate, does it?"

  I shook my head. "Not when you have so many cities!"

  "They don't have a lot of cities on Laak'sa?"

  "No. Really it's kind of like one huge city that wraps around the ocean. There are provinces, I guess you would call them."

  "What do they call them?"

  "Kanhi." That tug, that pull. That longing. Home. "The rest of the planet isn't very habitable. Wild. Free. Wet and heavy and broken by river after river after river."

  "That's why you like the marsh."

  I smiled at her. "Yeah."

  "We have marshes here, you know."

  "Are we going to any?"

  She paused for a second. I think she considered lying. "No. Probably not."

  I sighed. "Is it all going to be stuck in buildings answering stupid questions about things I really don't know?"

  She took my hand. She just grabbed it, like I did for her on the ship. "No. I'm sure there will be a ton of that at first. But I know for a fact they've cleared your house for you to move in to."

  I didn't want to argue with her. I already made it clear to them that I was not moving in to anywhere on Earth. A house? My house. Part of me laughed inside and part of me wanted to cry. "I still don't believe I have a house."

  "Oh, you do," she assured me. "Actually, it's more of a mansion."

  "Is that good?"

  I watched the city below us, but I could feel that look. You know the look. The look people give you when they can't believe what you just said. I was getting more familiar with that look by the day.

  "Yes," she said eventually. "It's very good."

  "Why?"

  "Because it means you're rich."

  I sighed. "Oh. Money again."

  She laughed. "You don't have to sound so upset about it, Jake."

  I wasn't upset about it. I was...bored, I guess. Later Ralph ripped into me good. He had been coming back from the bathroom when he overheard the conversation and took time later to tell me just how rude, mean, and insensitive I was. Oh, and an ass.

  "It doesn't matter one bit what you think about money, kid. Here it matters. Here it's a big deal. Here it feeds or starves. People with money live, people without die. You have a big, comfortable house? There are millions who live under cardboard in the dirt!"

  "Then they can have my house!" I shouted right back.

  "Great. Do it. So that takes care of what? A dozen people? You've only got millions more. What are you going to do for them?" He slumped. No fight left. Which was very good, because it was starting to dawn on me just how much of a callous ass I had been and I probably couldn't have taken any more of Ralph at his angriest. "Jake," he said more calmly. "Listen to me. You don't want the money? That's great. You're just like your folks. They didn't care for it one way or another. But do you know why?"

  "No."

  "Because they never had to worry about it. They never wondered where they'd get their next meal. They never had to break their backs working a farm or a transport or garbage detail just to scrape together a few credits for some rice or beans or milk. Of course they didn't care for money. They didn't know what it was like to run out."

  "So give the people my money."

  He gave me a sad smile he said I'd understand when I'm older. "It doesn't work like that. You give a lot of your money already."

  "I do?"

  "Yes. You've got a whole foundation established with the Cosworth name that does nothing but give money to needy people." That made me feel a little better. "But it's not enough. It can never be enough. We've got a society based on credits. Money. Things." He shook his head. "It's not like it is on Laak'sa. It's not survival of the fittest, it's survival of the richest.

  I had time to mull it all over later. Ralph was wrong. The Qitani way was survival of the fittest, but they placed just as high a value on their riches as humans do on credits. Everyone eats on Laak'sa, that's true...until it's not. Until they are too weak to contribute, until they can no longer benefit the society. And in that case, they are cut off. They do not get rations, since they did not earn them. They had to figure out how to feed themselves. While most did, and seemed to be doing fine to an outsider, there were those who did not. Ashnahta and I would see them when we'd wander the rivers we weren't supposed to. Some of them even resorted to eating the fishes, a great breach of culture that spoke volumes. They fell from society and fell hard. Ralph saw that as the survival of the fittest. It wasn't. If any one of them had just one of the jewels that were embedded in Ashnahta's collarbone, they would have eaten like queens for the rest of their lives. Ralph was wrong.

  But then again, so was I.

  I wish the conversation with Ralph took place before mine with Lynette. I look back and cringe at how I must have seemed. We talked about money. I talked, that is. She listened and frowned. And pulled her hand away. It wasn't until then that I knew I offended her.

  "Well. Big day tomorrow. I'm going to bed." She didn't even look at me, just stoo
d and left.

  See? Most definitely upset. I was dumb and wish I could take it back. I forgot she was indentured. Either that, or I was just a bonehead and didn't put it all together. If she was indentured, then she knew what it was like to be without money, without meals. I don't know how she didn't clock me one.

  I watched the neon hubbub alone for a long time. I wondered if one of the buildings I was looking at was a Cosworth building. And if it was, what happened there? I wondered what the next day would bring. We were to go in front of an arbiter of some court...for what? For show, by the sounds of it. I didn't mind that concept all that much, to be honest. They did it on Laak'sa and v-2245. I understood the cultural needs for formalities. As Mother would say, it gives comfort.

  I laughed to myself at the thought of Mother. I wondered what she'd point out to me in this nighttime city if she were here. Her imaginary lesson filled my head.

  "Jakey, by your observations, what can you tell me about that tall building to the left?"

  "Jakey, if you were to walk out onto the street right now, what is the first thing you should do to observe the customs?"

  "What do you know about evolution by studying the transport patterns?"

  "Is this a hive mentality civilization, or a clan based species?"

  "What..."

  "Who..."

  "How..."

  They would have been fired off at me in record speed with barely a breath between. She wouldn't have stopped until she felt I had a basic grasp of the world below.

  I missed her, then. I hadn't really missed Mother at all. And yet...

  What would Dad have said? Dad would have said, "Look at all those bright lights! I bet these people know how to party!"

  I missed them. I was on their planet. Their homeworld. They should have been there, not me. I turned from the window with a lonely ache and climbed in my bed. I wasn't going to cry. I was just going to let it ache. Their lives. I was here looking at their lives. I was going to talk to their people. I was going to live in their house. I was going to spend their money.

  And damn it, but they should have been right along with me.