Hannah's Hero (Icehome Book 6)

by Ruby Dixon

  This man, I swear. “Let’s save that for when you’re feeling better, all right?”

  He only grunts in acknowledgment.

  We get to the hut, and it’s the first time I’ve ever been inside. I’m touched at how nice it is. It’s spacious inside, with a wood floor and a central firepit that has hot coals in it. Two sets of furs are set up on opposite sides of the hut and there’s a cluster of supplies in a pile at the back. It needs organizing and a woman’s touch, but I’m mostly thrilled to have a floor. “This is wonderful. You built all of this?”

  “For you,” he says.

  I feel like the cruelest woman ever to make him suffer for so long. “I’m sorry I avoided you.”

  “You did what you felt you had to.” He drops his pack on the floor and gestures at the furs. “Now we sleep.”

  “Sleep sounds amazing,” I agree, suddenly exhausted. The piles of furs never looked so inviting. “Which one is yours?” When he points, I flop down and pull off my boots. My snowshoes were abandoned up on the cliff and I groan with pleasure when I pull the first boot off. “Give me a moment and I’ll do yours,” I tell him.

  “I have one bad arm, my mate. You think I cannot take care of myself? You think I cannot take care of you?”

  I look up and then he’s over me, looming, and there’s a hot look in his eyes that has nothing to do with sleep.

  “Seriously?” I squeak. “You’re wounded—”

  “The healer numbed it—”

  “—and we haven’t slept in days—”

  “—so I will be quick,” he tells me, and puts a hand on my shoulder, pushing me down to the blankets. “But I need my mate.”

  Even though I’m exhausted, I’m starting to get a little turned on. “You…want me to sit on your face like you said earlier?”

  His eyes gleam with excitement. “I like your idea better than mine. Yes, let us do that.”

  “Wait,” I sputter, suddenly shy. “That wasn’t my idea—”

  J’shel puts a finger to my lips, silencing me. “Does that mean you do not want it?”

  I blush, and he laughs.

  “Come and sit on your poor, wounded mate’s face so he can pleasure you,” J’shel says, lying back on the blankets and grinning at me.

  “I thought you just told me you weren’t all that wounded,” I mutter, but I strip off my clothing because now I’m getting all hot and bothered. Okay, if we’re quick, then we can sleep and I get the best of both worlds. I’m blushing as I move to his side and he tugs me to him, pulling me onto his chest until I’m sitting right on his sternum. I’m far too big a girl for this, but he doesn’t seem to care. Instead of hauling me right onto his face, though, he gazes up at me, expression thoughtful. “Will you be happy here with me, H’nah?”

  “This is a hell of a time to ask—”

  “I mean it.”

  His tone is so somber that it makes me ache. One of the best things about J’shel is how happy he is as a person. It evens out how salty I am. “I will. Sometimes I might not like living on the beach or wearing furs, but I will always, always love being with you.”

  “It is not much like your book,” he tells me sadly.

  “Isn’t it?” I poke a finger on his chest. “I have my hero right here.”

  “But you wanted—”

  “Fuck my book,” I say, exasperated. “I want you. I want this hut. I want our baby. I want a life with you. That book wasn’t a life, okay? It was just a goal I had. Even if I could go back now, I wouldn’t, because you’re here.”

  “Fuck the book,” he muses, and then hauls me forward. “Just like I shall fuck your cunt with my tongue.”

  “Oh Jesus,” I breathe. He’s dirty talking again. “How does a man like you have such a filthy mouth?”

  “Sit on it and find out,” he cajoles.

  And lord help me, but I do.

  <>

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  Hello there!

  I’m such an asshole, aren’t I? Look at me ending this book right there when I know you’re all screaming at your Kindles and wanting me to go back to the whole N’dek/Bridget/A’tam/Devi situation! Man!

  But really…this is the perfect place for Hannah and J’shel’s story to end, so we’re stopping there. FOR NOW. If you’ve read my books long enough, you know no one disappears off the page forever. They continue to show up over and over again. :)

  A bit of housekeeping on these particular characters. I love to play with different aspects of life and society and how people fit in to their world, and for this book I wanted to delve into what it means to find your place in your “tribe.”

  I know Hannah’s not going to be the most popular person with some people. Ever since she showed up, self-appointing herself as Vektal’s assistant and trying to boss people around, she’s gotten on people’s nerves. We’ve all met that one person at the office, right? That one asshole that gets into everyone’s business and thinks that the break room refrigerator should be maintained a certain way and is the first one to complain about, oh, everything? That’s Hannah. She’s always been a bit bossy but well-meaning, but her problem is that her initial fear manifested itself in a need to control her situation. It’s a common problem with people that suffer from anxiety—your nerves flare when you don’t feel as if you’re in control. For poor Hannah, it ended up making her unpopular with the rest of the tribe and no matter what she did, in their eyes she’s always the “counting” jerk. It eats away at her confidence and then affects everything, including the way she perceives herself.

  There’s one point in the book where she calls herself fat. Now, every woman I know thinks obsessively about her weight. It doesn’t matter if you’re a size two or a twenty-two, you’re always thinking about it. You can be married for 15 years and still ask your husband if your ass looks fat in these jeans…and get upset at his answer. The flaws make us human and I’m all about the flaws. It wouldn’t be fun to write a series of books about amazing, kick-ass women who pick up everything as quickly as possible and never struggle with anything that life throws at them. Not only is that unrealistic, it’s boring. Everyone struggles. If I didn’t want to write about a bunch of normal people struggling, I’d have written about an Olympic team of athletes stranded or something. I’m far more interested in the everygirl and how she handles this crazy new situation she finds herself in.

  Which brings us to Hannah.

  Hannah’s at a low place and she’s feeling bad about herself, so she calls herself fat. Plus, she just spent the last few days trying to keep up with people that hadn’t been sitting around camp for the last two months, so she feels self-conscious about that as well. The more fragile you feel about yourself and your place, the more you pick on yourself, and I wanted to show that Hannah’s struggling. No one else cares that Hannah’s fat. Brooke doesn’t care. Taushen doesn’t care. J’shel certainly doesn’t care. But Hannah cares.

  I know I’m going to get people angry at me for writing a character who calls herself fat because it isn’t fat positive. As a plus-size person who continues to struggle with her weight on an endless basis, it’s not always about the fat. Sometimes it’s just insecurity in general. Both Penny and Steph are larger heroines, but they’re not stressing over it. Penny goes out and hunts constantly. Steph contributes around the camp and has a ton of friends. Hannah feels alone and lonely and incapable of doing anything other than inventory, so in her mind her flaws are magnified.

  And that’s okay, too. I’m all about all kinds of heroines. We don’t all have to be badasses. It’s about figuring out who you are and loving yourself despite your flaws. You know the saying “it takes a village”? It takes all kinds to populate that village. Not everyone’s going to be an awesome hunter or a badass with leathers or fishing or whatever else is needed. Not everyone’s going to have a “special” khui like Veronica. Brooke knows this and sticks to what she’s good at. She helps out around camp, but her primary goal is to bring cheer and joy, and she
does that with hair braiding and grooming…which might not seem important in the big scheme of things, but it really is. We all can’t be Tiffany and be amazing at everything. There’s room in every tribe for that annoying person that isn’t good at making friends.

  For me, a lot of this book was Hannah figuring out what she wants. She wants to go home and have the amazing life she always dreamed of with her soon-to-be-massive book career, and she feels it was robbed from her. Of course she’s upset. She has a hard time accepting that this is now her life (hey, just like N’dek!). Hannah figures out who she is and what she wants through the course of the book, and once she stops stressing about her spot in the tribe, no one cares if she’s chunky or annoying. She’s just part of the team. The right spot for her in the tribe shows up eventually, and just like in real life, good things come to those who wait. Hannah and her need to be in charge will be perfect helping out Veronica run her mini-clinic on the beach.

  As for J’shel, he has a different road. He’s always seemed like the happy guy in the tribe, and so devoted to N’dek, but he’s carrying secret baggage of his own. I always like to give characters issues to see how they deal with them and I knew once J’shel set himself up as N’dek’s support system that he had issues about his friend’s injury. It’s hard for him to let go and accept that he can’t make N’dek happy no matter how hard he tries to be the best friend a guy could want, and like Hannah, he has to move forward in his own way.

  Every book is a hodgepodge of ideas that come together, and this one is no different. Another thing that fascinated me while writing this particular book—phyology and the relation of species and how they “line up” with descendent species. Devi’s starting to shine in her own way, and I’m absolutely in love with her character. To her, this planet is a dream come true because she’s living in a science experiment. Sure, no one gave her the project notes, but she doesn’t care! I tend to have pet obsessions as I write (in Marlene’s book you’ll notice I mentioned plague in the notes). The island ecosystem and the volcanic activity of the ice planet have always made me think of prehistoric planets and all those ages past when life thrived, got wiped out, thrived again, and got wiped out again. There’s a great nonfiction book called The Rise and Fall of the Dinosaurs: A New History of a Lost World by Steve Brusatte that’s a deep dive into modern paleontology, dinosaur ecosystems, and dinosaur physiology. It’s a fantastic read and if you can snag it from your local library, I think you’ll enjoy it. Not only did it inspire Devi’s career (I knew she was a scientist, I just didn’t know what KIND until I read this book) but it also inspired Old Grandfather (or should I say Old Grandmother?) who’s going to be haunting our little tribe for a little bit longer. Also, I do realize that Devi stating that she’s a scientist instead of say, telling everyone she has a focus on paleophysiology and phyology is a bit basic, but when people ask me what I do, I say I’m a writer because giving them an immediate deep dive into the romance genre and all its subculture is sometimes not worth the effort. So I just say I write books. Devi just tells people she’s a scientist and it usually stops questions. :)

  As for N’dek and his heroine. I’m not stalling to try to be cute and clever and dangling his book in front of you for a million years. I was actually going to write their story next, but someone on Facebook pointed out to me that each book has focused on the heroine (after all, it is LAUREN’s barbarian and WILLA’s beast, not GREN’S Hick Human or K’THAR’S Baby Mama). I hadn’t done that with N’dek and his woman. I hadn’t built them up at all, and jumping right in felt like skipping ahead. Plus, I had several couples that have resonated—Callie and M’tok, T’chai and Marisol, and Hannah and J’shel—that I hadn’t really focused in on. In a way, this book is killing two birds with one stone. I’m setting the stage for N’dek and also showcasing an already-resonated couple. :) Win win!

  So next month, we’ll be back at Icehome again for round two and we figure out what the hell is going on with our fun foursome (NOT THAT THEY ARE A FOURSOME - THEY ARE TWO COUPLES). I’m not dangling N’dek and his HEA further out than that, I promise. I did leave you a bit of a cliffy for the ongoing story (Never the couple! Just the ongoing story!) and so I’ll get that resolved.

  After that…I have a few different things up my sleeve. I’ve had some fans ask about dragons. They are coming! But it’s going to be late summer as I get a few other projects off of the mental laundry list. I won’t leave you hanging!

  <3

  Ruby

  THE PEOPLE OF ICEHOME

  The New Arrivals (Icehome Tribe)

  Lauren/Lo – Adult female at the beach camp. Once had glasses. Likes to be a problem solver. Resonates to K’thar, newly pregnant.

  Marisol – Terrified adult female at beach camp who is fond of hiding. Gets stranded with Lo on the island. Resonates to T’chai. Due to his sickness, their resonance is ‘turned off’ by the healer.

  Hannah – Previously, Vektal’s self-proclaimed assistant. One of the females at the beach camp. Resonates to J’shel when the island tribes arrive. Eventually mates to J’shel. Veronica’s assistant. Bossy.

  Angie – Adult female at the beach camp. Pregnant with mystery baby when awoken. Gives birth to Glory (a clone female). Resonates to Vordis.

  Glory - A qura’aki clone baby, implanted in Angie. Newborn.

  Willa – Adult female with a southern twang. Lo’s friend. Gren’s most ardent defender. Resonates to Gren.

  Gren – Beastly, feral ex-gladiator male. Attacks on sight. Resonates to Willa. Soft and fuzzy, according to Aayla.

  Veronica – Newest healer on the planet. Resonated to Ashtar upon arrival. Bit of a klutz. Needs to work on her bedside manner.

  Ashtar – Flirty golden ex-gladiator and former slave. Drakoni male who can shapeshift to a “battle form” as a dragon and has the ability to communicate telepathically. Resonates immediately to Veronica. Stud.

  Vordis – One of the red “twins,” ex-gladiators of a race called a’ani. Longtime friends/brothers with Thrand, another clone. The really devoted one. Hot sauce. Resonates to Angie.

  Thrand – One of the red “twins,” ex-gladiators of a race called a’ani. Longtime friends/brothers with Vordis. Confused by Nadine. The hotheaded, competitive one. Ketchup.

  Tia – Teenager at the beach camp. Flirting with Sessah and anyone else that will stand still for five minutes.

  Nadine – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Learning to hunt. Really irritated by Thrand.

  Callie – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Resonated to M’tok. Hates M’tok.

  Bridget – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Friend to Veronica. Hooked up with A’tam. Has regrets.

  Steph – One of the adult females at the beach camp.

  Raven – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Blonde, despite her name. Hippie parents.

  Penny – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Learning to hunt.

  Devi – Chatty adult female at beach camp. Scientist and dissection hobbyist. Hair flipper.

  Flordeliza – Adult female at beach camp. Kinda a goofball.

  Samantha – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Really fucking loves being on the ice planet, which no one else can figure out.

  From the Old Tribe (Croatoan)

  Raahosh – Hunter of the Croatoan tribe. Messed up horns. Mated to Liz and has 3 daughters, Raashel, Aayla, and now Ahsoka. Generally unpleasant to be around (except to his mate).

  Liz – Snarky human mate to Raahosh. Mother to Raashel, Aayla, and newborn Ahsoka. Star Wars nerd. Salty.

  Raashel - Liz and Raahosh’s oldest daughter. A bit of a tattletale.

  Aayla - Liz and Raahosh’s middle child. Fascinated by Gren.

  Ahsoka - Liz and Raahosh’s newborn daughter.

  Sessah – Unmated, lanky, teen sa-khui from Croatoan. Currently dazzled by all the single ladies in Icehome.

  Rukh – Hunter of the Croatoan tribe and ex-outcast. His mate is Harlow. B
rother to Raahosh, father to Rukhar and now Daya.

  Harlow – Mate to Rukh, mother to Rukhar and newborn Daya. She assists Mardok with technology stolen/looted from the broken ships.

  Rukhar – Harlow and Rukh’s young son.

  Daya - Harlow and Rukh’s newborn daughter.

  Farli – One of the few sa-khui females. Mated to Mardok and has a pet dvisti named Chompy. Pregnant.

  Mardok – Ex-soldier who has chosen to remain on the ice planet. Technology guru. Mated to Farli.

  Taushen – Hunter and mate to Brooke. Recently arrived at Icehome camp.

  Brooke – recently mated to Taushen. Hairdresser back on Earth, recently arrived at Icehome camp. Will braid anyone that sits still for more than five minutes. Pregnant.

  The Island Clans

  Clan of the Strong Arm

  K’thar – Hunter, de-facto leader of Strong Arm, resonates to Lauren/Lo.

  J’shel – Young hunter of Strong Arm, resonates to Hannah. Very cheerful. Long braid.

  N’dek – Hunter of Strong Arm, recently lost a leg in a kaari attack. Kinda depressed and sits around the fire a lot.

  I’chai – deceased female, mother of Z’hren

  Z’hren – Orphaned child of Strong Arm, now child of Gail and Vaza

  Fat One/Kki – nightflyer pet of the clan

  Gail – adopted parent of Z’hren, older human female, once of Croatoan.

  Vaza – adopted parent of Z’hren, older sa-khui male, once of Croatoan

  Clan of the Tall Horn

  R’jaal – Clan leader of Tall Horn, co-leader with Raahosh.

  T’chai – Hunter of Tall Horn, resonates to Marisol. He is attacked by skyclaw on the island and nearly killed. His wounds get infected and he nearly dies, so the healer stops his resonance.

  M’tok – Hunter of Tall Horn, resonates to Callie. Why haven’t they boinked yet? Why is Ruby such a tease?