White Water Passion

by Dawn Luedecke

  Her heart beat faster than any time in the past. The thrill of the adrenaline boosted her spirits as the river calmed and opened up into a pool, deep in the center and serene, as if they hadn’t just been tossed through the rocks on a wild ride.

  “I made it!” Beth shouted when she emerged into the slow waters and once again focused on her surroundings. The trees swayed in the wind, and birds chirped behind the receding sounds of the rushing water to her back—serene and calm in contrast to the menace of the rock-laden rapids.

  Garrett rowed the bateau next to her and smiled with pride. “You did well. See if you can take the next one. It looks smaller.”

  The rest of the day was spent much the same, a lazy float followed by small rounds of easy rapids. By afternoon, they were almost to the opening of Salmon Lake.

  She moved the log next to Garrett, who stood in the center of the bateau with a wide grin plastered to his face. “You gave Wall one for the money with the way you took those rocks. Almost like you were born to be a riverman.”

  Beth smiled. She knew it wasn’t true, but hearing his praise boosted her confidence and spirits.

  “There is one last white water up here, and then we are at the lake. Once we’re out of the river, we push them down and hold them near the bottom overnight.”

  Everything ran with smooth precision until they reached the rapids where a large logjam hovered near the shore, unmovable. Garrett motioned for Beth to head toward land.

  He jumped from the boat and pulled it ashore as she struggled to bring the log parallel to the beach. She leaned over to try to reach a steep incline of the beach with one foot, but tipped. The log rolled, and Beth went down into the water beneath the log.

  Out of instinct, she tried to breathe, but sucked in water instead. Panic made her heart beat faster as she rotated to get a foot on the bank. She twisted her body in the water and felt the bottom of the river beneath her fingers as she grabbed onto the muddy sand below to try to push herself up. Her head crested the top as Garrett plucked her from the water. “We need to work on your dismount.”

  She threw him a look of relief and, dripping wet, plodded out of the water and onto dry land.

  “My peavey.” She twirled to glance down the river where the peavey drifted down with the logs.

  “We keep a spare in the bateau. I’ll go get it. It’s warm enough now that you shouldn’t need to change your clothes after falling in, but if you start to feel cold, let me know, and you can have my last jacket.”

  Beth nodded as Garrett turned toward the boat.

  In a few seconds, he returned with the spare peavey and handed it to her. Together, they picked their way across the jammed logs until they stood at the edge. Garrett started to poke at a log, and Beth moved to do the same on another one. Her muscles ached from days’ worth of hard labor, but she didn’t mind. Not only did she enjoy being a riverman, but also she got to spend time with Garrett.

  Her shirt had dried, but sweat dripped down the back of her neck as she pushed the last of the jam in the water and plopped down to the ground to watch as it flowed down the river. What would the women of Missoula say if they saw her now? She’d be an outcast. A pariah amongst them. She might be able to get a permanent position with the lumber company. At the least, she could help Aunt June with the cook duties. Would Garrett and his beautiful blond bride visit the lumber camp in the future? She hoped not.

  Hot tears stung her eyes. She could handle the label of outcast before she could bear watching Garrett with Victoria.

  The log beneath her shuddered, and Garrett yanked her backward to another log as the one she’d stood on jerked free and floated down the river. She followed him as he hopped from one log to another until they were both safely on the beach.

  She turned around to find the jam loose and the logs they’d just been on floating down the river.

  Garrett came up and sat down, so she did the same. He pulled his legs close to his body, leaned his forearms against his knees, and panted while he caught his breath.

  “I’m impressed. You worked your darling little butt off. You did well.”

  “This is the first jam I’ve done where I wasn’t on the bateau. Do they all make you feel like you’re standing on the edge of the world as it collapses into the abyss?”

  “This one’s nothing, when the rapids are bad, the river rats have to balance on top of spinning logs. Sometimes the trees slam together and make it hard to balance. We’ve lost a lot of good men to the river. A drive without a death is a successful one.” Garrett smiled and watched the water. They sat together without talking while they caught their breaths.

  She turned toward Garrett, stuck her foot out, and poked his leg with the tip of her boot.

  “Another inch, and the spike on your boot could have caught me on the shin. If a man did that, I’d have beat the tar out of him.”

  “You almost did that to me on the train when I accidentally hit you with my spikes.” She gave him a teasing smile, and he mirrored her grin. “What is it with you men and fighting anyway?”

  “We settle disputes with our fists. We also determine hierarchy with a good row.”

  “And you have never lost?”

  “I would have lost to Wall if the widowmaker didn’t fall on the timber beast this year.”

  “You let Wall best you?”

  “Yes. I wanted him to take over the Devil May Cares this year, but then the accident happened.”

  Beth tried to hide her smile.

  “What do you find humorous?”

  “The thought of you losing a fight to anyone. The men would never believe it.”

  “Wall is a pugilist.”

  “Yes, but you are bigger and more determined.”

  “Wall is a good man. He would make you happy.” Garrett’s tone turned serious.

  Beth’s heart sank. What was Garrett doing? “He is a good man.”

  “Are you going to consider him?”

  A lump formed in her throat, and she swallowed hard. She couldn’t answer. She didn’t have an answer.

  “Are you?”

  “I can’t do this right now. We’re supposed to be living for today, not thinking about tomorrow.”

  “I need to know, Beth. I need to know that you’re all right.”

  “All right? All right with you marrying another woman, or fine with you wanting me to marry Wall?”

  “I never said I wanted you to marry Wall. I said he was a good man.”

  “I can’t do this.” She jumped up and ran into the forest. Away from Garrett and the decisions he tried to force her to make.

  * * * *

  “What did I do?” He jumped up and ran after her. He didn’t mean to upset her with his questions, yet somehow he did. All he wanted was for her to be content in life. He needed to know she would be happy without him. Perhaps then his conscience could open up to accepting life without her.

  She stopped and spun around. “I can’t do this anymore, Garrett. I can’t be in love with you knowing that once this time is over, you will belong to Victoria.”

  “You love me?”

  “You know I do.”

  “My heart will still belong to you. It always will.” He took a step closer.

  “And mine to you, but it breaks every time I think about the end, and then I realize how close that is. I can’t take much more.”

  “You’re the strongest woman I know. Tougher than a thousand-year-old pine tree.”

  “I’m not strong. Simon has spoiled me. I’m used to getting what I want, but I can’t have the one thing I feel I may die without. You.”

  “You want me?” He tried not to show how hard his heartbeat had kicked up when she said the last. He needed her one last time. “Then have me.”

  He bent down and kissed her as he wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her i
n the air. He took two steps forward and pinned her back against a tree, anchoring her with his body. He kissed her with intensity. The heat of his kiss seared her image into his mind while he traced her body with his hands.

  He leaned one hand next to her and pressed against the jagged peaks of the bark. The small pain in his hand felt oddly right as he pushed his body to hers, making them as close as they could be while fully clothed.

  He pulled his head back and took a deep breath and, reaching his hand up, stripped her clothes from her body.

  “These do you no justice, by the way,” he said and tossed her pants over his shoulder. Setting her feet on the ground, he stripped down to skin and once again picked her up.

  She felt like silk against his chest when he tugged her back up and pressed her into the tree. He kissed her once more and ran his knuckles across her abdomen. When he reached the warm nest of her curls, he positioned himself to her entrance and pushed to seat himself firmly inside her. He pulled out and thrust back in, repeating the process until she gasped with need. Her breasts pressed tightly against his chest.

  Her eyes fluttered closed, and she arched toward him and exposed the flat plane of her stomach. He ached to kiss the smooth surface, but wasn’t about to stop. Beth moved in rhythm with him while he plunged and receded. She was hot, ready, his in every way. A low, silky moan echoed off the trees and boosted his need to take her.

  She bit her lip as if trying not to cry out.

  “Scream if you need to, my love. No one can hear us.”

  She reached the peak and shuddered around him, and he couldn’t hold back any longer. He released his seed deep within her and groaned in response. He held her head firmly in his grasp, while still deep inside her.

  He kissed the moist skin on her temple and smoothed her hair with one hand while he held her upright with the other.

  He watched her lips, wet and swollen with kisses—his kisses. With one last peck on the tip of her nose, he eased her down and held her as she came down from the lovers’ high. Once he was confident she could support her own weight, he let her go and stepped back to watch the glorious sight of her in the aftermath of passion.

  “God how I love you.” Keeping one eye on her pale, naked body, he bent down and picked up her clothes to hand to her. He plucked his own from the grass near the base of the tree, and dressed. As if in a trance, she did the same.

  He flicked pine needles from the back of her shirt as she tucked it into her trousers. Once certain she was fully dressed and ready, he took her hand and led her to the river. He could never be happy with Victoria. And, dear god, he’d lose his soul if he had to see Beth and Wall together. His heart growled at the thought of her happy on Wall’s arm as she made her way about town. The thought twisted his chest into knots of steel. No. Wall cannot have Elizabeth. He’d fight for her even if the contract was complete, even if he had to walk away from his family, his fortune, he’d find a way to be with Beth. She belonged in his arms, and by God that’s where she would stay until the day she took her last breath.

  “Do you want to ride a log, or would you prefer to come with me in the bateau?”

  Her eyes still hazy, she lifted a brow and motioned toward the bateau. “I don’t think I have the strength to stay on a log.”

  Garrett slid the boat into the water and collected the peaveys from the ground where they’d left them. Beth slipped into the boat and sat motionless as he pushed the vessel into the river. Her skin still flushed and hair slightly disheveled. The way he wanted her to look every day of her life with him.

  A little over an hour later, they caught up to the crew, as they set up a new camp on the shore of the lake. Wall hailed them in. “I thought you’d gotten lost.”

  Garrett gave a quick, secretive smile to Beth and turned to jump into the lake, thigh deep, as he guided the boat to shore. “We had a small wing jam, and then took a breather.”

  Beth seemed to have snapped out of her trance and, with one last lustful look at him, trudged up the bank toward the cook fire. She hadn’t said a word during the float to camp. Was it because she needed to clear her fog of passion or something else? He hoped the first. If they couldn’t be together, at least he could give her memories to last her the remainder of her life.

  Nearby, the men sat around the fire and whittled on flexible tree limbs to make fishing poles. Garrett searched the bank and found others sitting with their poles already in the water.

  “Aunt June said if we want supper, we’d better catch it,” Wall said in response to Garrett’s perusal. “She even told the women to catch a few.”

  Garrett turned to study Aunt June as she bustled around the women and flipped her spoon in the air as if scolding someone.

  Wall continued, “I think she’s getting a might tired of being a mother hen to a bunch of women.”

  “She’s used to dealing with us men.”

  Wall nodded, and turned a serious look to Garrett. “Are you going to tell the men? They’re already talking about next year, but I didn’t want to say anything.”

  Garrett nodded. “We should be to the mill tomorrow, so I’d better get it done. I’ll talk to them tonight.”

  The last thing he needed to do before finishing off his duty as leader of the Devil May Cares. His heart broke. This was supposed to be his last season as a free man doing what he loved. Garrett chanced a look at Beth as she smiled and followed the women to a willow tree to examine branches to use for a pole. Unlike years past, this season had changed his life forever.

  * * * *

  Beth reached high for a branch above her head, one that would make an excellent fishing pole.

  “I’ll help you.” Garrett kept his gaze on Beth as he approached the women. Beth flicked a nervous glance to Victoria, who noticed his focus, and scowled.

  “Oh thank heavens you’re here, Garrett.” Victoria flittered to his side and stepped in front of him to block Beth’s view. “Aunt June said we need to learn how to fish. She said a young lady from the west should learn how to take care of herself in case there weren’t any men around to do it for her, but I don’t see as how I’m ever going to need to catch my own supper. I have father’s staff for that.”

  “Aunt June is right. It’s a dangerous place out here in the west. A woman should be able to look after herself if a man cannot do it for her.” Garrett stepped around Victoria and reached above Beth’s head. With one hand, he pulled out a knife from the sheath on his belt and began to saw at the flexible willow branch. Beth glanced at a glaring Victoria once more.

  The wood snapped, and he handed it to Beth. What was he doing? Proclaiming his love with a fishing pole? Irritating Victoria? Either way, she didn’t care. She loved that he thought of her first above everyone, before Victoria. What would happen to her reputation if Victoria realized his feelings and spread gossip about her in town, though? She’d never get a husband.

  “Garrett,” Victoria whined, and glared. “What about the rest of us?”

  He reached up and snapped off three more branches, handed two out to Victoria and Carrie, and then motioned for the group to continue to the fire. Beth followed Carrie with Garrett trailing behind, and as usual, Victoria flittered beside him.

  Beth could feel his eyes watching her walk, or at least she fancied she could. Never in her life had she ever felt someone’s gaze, but with Garrett, it was different. They were connected.

  The women spread around the fire and sat. Beth studied his movements and copied them as he showed the group how to fashion a pole. Once everyone was set, he stood. “Find a spot and throw in the line. If you feel a tug or need anything, I’ll help.”

  “Or you can ask me.” Wall strutted into the camp. “I’m a better fisherman than Garrett.”

  Beth smiled at Wall’s playful banter, but inside her stomach churned. Wall came to be with her, of that she had no doubt, but she didn’t know if she c
ould act with ease the way she did before he’d asked to court her.

  Wall and Garrett led the way to the river, and the women began to settle in various spots along the bank. Beth followed Carrie as she tripped down a steep incline to a sandy beach. Once she found a spot a little farther down the river from her friend, she tossed in the line, and then looked around to take stock of everyone else.

  Wall bent over Carrie down the shore, helping as she struggled to flick the line in the water.

  Beth searched the banks, but realized Garrett and Victoria were nowhere to be seen. Her chest tightened. Had Victoria taken Garrett away to a secret spot to steal a kiss? Beth set her teeth against the thought.

  After a few moments, Garrett leapt from the steep incline Beth and Carrie had taken, and then held a hand out to help a triumphant Victoria jump. Beth wanted to growl like men did when angry, but then Garrett turned, mumbled something to Wall, and then ran back up the incline, leaving Victoria to pick her way across the river side alone. Beth smiled, but then checked herself. She shouldn’t show such bitterness. Shouldn’t be jealous of Garrett’s intended, but she couldn’t help but feel a deep pang in her heart at the sight of Victoria and Garrett together.

  Victoria searched the banks and then set her sights on Beth.

  Beth snapped her head forward and concentrated on watching the ripples where her fishing line dipped into the water as Victoria slid past her. Stopping close to where she stood.

  Victoria flicked her wrist, and her line plopped into the water a foot from shore. “I’m a natural,” she crooned.

  Beth only smiled in response. She wanted to like the woman, but she couldn’t.

  They stood quietly for a few seconds before Victoria spoke. “I know you’re in love with Garrett.”

  Beth couldn’t breathe.

  When she could once again get air enough to speak, she answered, “You’re mistaken.”

  “He’s a wonderful man. Very handsome, connected, from a good family, and displays the manners of a London gentleman.” Victoria paused as if she waited for a response, but Beth wasn’t about to give one. After a while, Victoria continued, “I saw you embracing on the beach. He is my betrothed, Elizabeth Sanders, and I won’t lose him.”