Ready for Love

by Jules Dixon

I shuffled up the steps and into the house. The color seemed like overkill and irritated me, but there was something else. I’d never thought I was that person. The one who would get attached to an animal so deeply that I really thought I was going to crumble if he didn’t come back.

  “Go take a long hot shower and then a nap.” Jace pushed me toward the bathroom.

  I mumbled something that probably sounded like acknowledgement and appreciation, but I wasn’t sure.

  Wasn’t sure of much.

  ****

  “Kai, I’m going to meet the second wave of volunteers in about fifteen minutes. I created some flyers with a picture I found on your Facebook page and we’re going to canvas the neighborhoods near the park with them.”

  I sat up quickly and the room spun. “I … I…” I yawned. “I’m coming. Give me a minute.”

  She backed from the room and I heard her on the phone with Presley making plans for the search. I almost couldn’t move. My stomach burned with fear that this night would be the last chance.

  We met another dozen volunteers. I listened to the plan, but honestly, it all sounded like that teacher on the Peanuts specials from elementary school who droned in that “maw-wah-haw-haw” way.

  Everyone set out, giving me their best sympathetic looks, but really it only looked like they questioned the validity of what they were doing. The dark night won out, and Waffles wasn’t found.

  I tried to keep a brave face, but my body betrayed me. Every person who gave me a hug to make it better only made me distressed.

  Back at the house, I crawled onto the sofa and curled into a ball.

  “Kai, you should eat something.”

  I stared at her. “Why did you cancel last night?”

  Jace’s eyes fell. “I had to work.”

  “Really? ‘Cause it seems that you use that excuse to avoid people.”

  “You’re right, I did. But I’m not going to avoid anything from now on.” She sat on the coffee table facing me. “Truth is, I was scared. This feels good and I’ve been through bad, it’s hard not to wonder if I’m dreaming. I’m sorry.”

  My past caved in on me. I closed my eyes. “Reading your text, every fear of rejection came back to me and I stopped concentrating on Waffles. I don’t tell people, but I was adopted at the age of six. Found on the streets, abandoned by my mother, I was taking care of myself. My adoptive parents saved me, but that same fear last night of not being good enough for someone came back last night.”

  “I didn’t know.”

  “Maybe we don’t know enough about each other and we’re hiding too much.”

  “Please don’t.” Her chest chopped. “I want to be here for you, Kai. I think we could be right for each other, and I don’t mean only in bed. I mean … forever.”

  I remembered thinking the same thing while talking to Presley before reading her text. “I’m sorry, but I need someone who puts me first. I’d like you to go.”

  She slid her purse off the coffee table and under her arm. “I promise, you’re not second. I want you to be first. I’m here for you. I’m here for us. I’m sorry about Waffles, and whatever else you want to do, I’ll do it with you. I’ll take all my vacation if you want to keep looking.” She was saying the right things, but she knew the right things to say, she’d been here before.

  I stared at the place where Waffles would lay.

  “I want to be alone for a little while.”

  Her lips landed on the top of my head but the door closed behind her.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jace

  I’d never noticed that the ceiling in my bedroom wasn’t perfectly painted.

  Until I’d stared at it for six hours.

  I’d texted her three times. I scrolled the messages a hundred times.

  Jace: I’d like to come back over and be with you.

  Jace: I texted my boss and took the next two days off. Please let me help you.

  Jace: I’ll leave you alone, but only because I feel like I’m bothering you. I want to be here for you. I want to be your rock when the ground seems to be shifting under you. I want to be the sunny blue skies when all you see are grey clouds. I want to hold you up when you feel like you’re collapsing. I promise, I’m here for you.

  I stared for those three bubbles that indicated she was even looking at the message, contemplating an answer, but they never happened.

  I crawled out of bed and into some clothes. Autumn was a fine line between beautiful and crappy in Nebraska, but having lived here my whole life, I kind of enjoyed that off-kilter unpredictable craziness.

  I drove around Kai’s house, calling for Waffles. My heart beat a little weaker and a little quieter every time I passed her place. I wouldn’t force her to talk to me or see me.

  I drove to Presley and Jude’s and his truck was in the driveway. I pulled in.

  “Knock-knock,” I called out through the screen door.

  “Hey, Jace, come on in.”

  “Sorry for the early stop by.”

  “No problem, don’t have a client until noon. What’s up?”

  “You heard from Kai?”

  Jude rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, no. She called in today again and Mitch is taking her clients, but I don’t know much more. Feel bad for her. Waffles was a great dog.”

  “Is. Is a great dog.” I wasn’t about to give up on him or her.

  He pushed off the back of the couch. “You look like you could use some coffee.”

  “Please. Is Presley gone?”

  “She’s one of Kai’s early appointments on Tuesdays.”

  “Oh. Right. Jude, I messed up on Sunday.”

  He poured from the full carafe. “Yeah, I heard about that from Presley. Kind of good that she’s not here. She’d be giving you an earful.” After handing over the cup, he grabbed creamer and I shook my head. “What happened?”

  I examined the cup that read Shut up and squat! on it. Obviously some personal trainer joke, but it wasn’t remotely funny to me. “I was at my limit of past failed relationships. I thought friends-with-benefits would be enough, but it wasn’t. I want more. I want everything with her.”

  His crooked smile was endearing. He glanced to the clock. “It’s only seven, want to go out and do some more canvasing?”

  I hopped from the stool. “Yes, please.”

  Jude attracted the gals with dogs out for a walk, so we did a new search with more people talking. But still no leads. Back to the park, we asked if anyone had been there and seen anything. But again, there were a lot of “sorry” and “hope you find him” from everyone as their dogs played with each other.

  I sat on the cold ground in the park, my back against the chain-link fence. The temps were dipping lower today and a light jacket almost wasn’t enough. I thought of a child being out here, and a tear slipped down my cheek.

  I closed my eyes. Jude leaned back against the fence and explored his phone.

  Howl.

  I held my breath, thinking I was dreaming.

  And again the same canine wail that I remembered from when Kai and I’d made love that first night.

  I opened my eyes and jumped up. “He’s here. Somewhere. We couldn’t hear him because of all the dogs.”

  Jude scanned the place. “Where?”

  I focused on the small bathroom in the corner. “There.”

  We ran to the bathroom and listened, but nothing.

  Was I dreaming it? Hoping.

  “Jude, you might want to cover your ears for this.”

  “Um … what?”

  I started moaning and screaming Kai’s name and the most beautiful thing started to happen. The cry of a puppy echoed from under the outhouse-style bathrooms.

  Jude doubled over with laughter. “Don’t tell me…”

  I laughed while searching the ground. “Yep, he’s not a fan of my … excitement.”

  We both searched along the bottom and sure enough, there was a small opening in the back, the fence only inches away. The fu
rry tip of a hidden tail flicked in the tall weeds.

  I called 911, explained the situation, and in minutes, a fire truck showed and the fencing was down, and siding was pried off gently while they dug a crater the size of a sleeping bag behind the outhouse. But he was still stuck. It appeared his collar was caught on a crossbeam.

  Eyes fell on me.

  No one else would fit.

  A veterinarian that had been in the park with his dog showed. He’d pull on Waffles’ legs carefully, hoping to prevent snapping or dislocating anything, and he’d examine him upon my extraction.

  “Waffles, here I come.” I shimmied into the small space on my back with a tiny flashlight. It was claustrophobic and dirty, and Waffles only whimpered louder.

  The veterinarian waited for me to give the go-ahead. I reached up and pushed Waffles’ nose down, yelled for help, and in one slow pull, a constantly wagging mess of fluff was out.

  The cheers and whistles filled my eyes with happiness. But one voice stood out from all of them.

  “I can’t believe you’re back to me.”

  I took a moment to collect myself and shimmied out.

  My hair was matted with mud, and my clothes smelled like some dead animal that I was sure was the reason Waffles had burrowed under there.

  But our eyes met, and Kai smiled.

  She stepped to me, her brown eyes glassy. “Thank you.”

  “I’d do anything for you.”

  Including a lot of changes.

  Epilogue

  Kai

  “You may kiss the bride.” The officiant recited the time-tested words and cheers erupted.

  I was holding my girlfriend’s hand, so I brought it to my lips and gave a small peck. She blushed, her blond curls falling forward and brushing the curve of her breasts. She wasn’t my bride yet, but she was mine and by my side.

  After the ceremony uniting Willow Harper and Kanyon Hills in marriage, we sat on the huge deck that backed into a wooded area off the mansion-like house owned by Kanyon’s aunt and uncle. I handed off a glass of champagne to Jace.

  “How’s Waffles?” Best Man Jude asked, all spiffed out in his dark navy suit.

  “Still trying to disappear under everything. We’ve had to lift the bed off of him twice. Might need to build a box to keep him out.”

  “Be glad to help you make that.” His fiancée slid in next to him, and I agreed to call on him.

  “So, you guys are doing okay?” Presley flicked her eyes between us.

  I wrapped an arm around Jace’s waist. “Better than okay.”

  Presley squeaked this cute sound that was all her. “I knew it. I knew you two would be a perfect fit.”

  Jace shook her head. “We’re both pretty much as messed up as they come, but we’ve found something worth fighting for and making extra effort.” Jace tugged me closer.

  “And she’s moving into my place next month.”

  Presley squealed again.

  Jace rolled her eyes. “That’s our cue to leave.”

  Her lips found mine.

  I leaned in close. “I love you, Jace Zelensky.”

  “I love you, too.” Her blue eyes held to mine and I could see that she wanted to explore some benefits of our love. “Honey, let’s get going. Waffles needs his nightly walk.” She lowered her voice, “And I need you.”

  And I’m ready…

  The End

  www.julesdixon.com

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