Sunblind

by Michael Griffo

  As it turns out had Louis been my chaperone he wouldn’t have had to wait very long at all for the return trip, because it appears that my boyfriend isn’t up for any visitors.

  “Hey, Domgirl,” he says, coming out onto the front porch and nervously closing the door behind him. “It’s, uh, not really a good time.”

  Excuse me? I know it isn’t proper dating etiquette to show up unannounced, but it’s not like we just started our relationship. We’ve been going out with each other for over a year. And Caleb knows everything about me. I obviously don’t know all there is to know about him.

  “It’s my parents,” he confesses.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask. “Everything okay?”

  “Oh yeah, of course,” he says, then quickly adds. “Well, no, not really. They’re kind of in the middle of a big fight.”

  I know I should feel bad about this. I know I should say something sweet and consoling and girlfriendesque, but all I can think of is how lucky Caleb is to have both his parents around so they can fight. How I wish my father was alive and my mother conscious so they could have a rip-roaring, knockdown, drag-out fight. I never witnessed the two of them fighting, but that’s because my mother slipped into her coma before my sixth birthday. I’m sure the two of them had plenty of arguments, both big and small, while they were dating and in the early days of their marriage, the biggest fight probably being when my mother found out that I was cursed and it was entirely my father’s fault. But I think I can speak for both of them when I say that they would give anything to be able to have one more fight, even if it meant that their kids would have a front-row seat.

  The screaming, the name-calling, even the cursing would be better than silence. Loud, angry voices filling up the entire house, spilling underneath my closed bedroom door to remind me that my parents are human and that they love each other enough to fight passionately. I’d love to hear their voices now. Which reminds me: Why can’t I hear Caleb’s parents?

  Shouldn’t people who are in the middle of a fight be yelling at each other? Or at least doing that too-loud-whisper thing that is even louder than a normal speaking voice? Besides, shouldn’t a girl who has super hearing be able to hear them even with the front door closed?

  “Caleb, are you sure they’re fighting?” I ask. “I can’t hear a thing.”

  Scrunching up his face, Caleb looks at me like I’m deaf, which he knows is so not the truth, and opens the door just a crack to peek in.

  “Must be taking a break. They’ve been going at it for the past hour,” he says, turning back to me. “Something about my mother’s latest shopping spree. You know how she gets.”

  I do. His mother loves her shoes. And her clothes. And then her jewelry. After that I think comes her family, and I really do believe she loves them in that order. For the entire time we’ve been dating, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in the same outfit twice, even though Mr. Bettany lost his bigwig job as head of the Weeping Water Animal Protection Center when it shut down and was forced to take a pay cut when he started working as one of three assistants over at the center in Lincoln. Mrs. Bettany only works part-time at a law firm. Not really enough income to maintain such an ever-changing wardrobe, but every woman has her priorities. I may not officially be a woman, but I also have my priorities, and right now my number one priority is to have some private time with my boyfriend. My boyfriend, however, has other ideas.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Caleb says rather dismissively.

  “Well, um, okay,” I reply rather stupidly.

  Before I can ask Caleb if he’d like to meet up before school tomorrow morning for a quick chat or maybe a make-out session, he closes the door right in my face. Okay, it’s not like he slammed it or anything to make some dramatic statement, but he walked back into his house and quickly closed the door without saying good night or giving me a kiss.

  Walking down the front steps, I try not to dwell on how much I already miss his sweet smile. I try not to read too much into the situation and make the situation all about me. Not everything is about you, Dominy! His parents are fighting. He’s upset that they might get a divorce, and then he’ll have to live with his mother in a trailer park in Omaha and sleep on a pull-out couch because his mother will want to use his bedroom as a closet for all her clothes, shoes, and accessories. He’s worried that this fight could lead to his family’s financial ruin, his not being able to go to college, that this could be the beginning of the end of his future, and all I’m thinking about is how I didn’t get kissed good night.

  No kiss, but I think I just got stung.

  “What the hell?!”

  I feel a sharp pain in my arm and slap myself. Lifting up the sleeve on my T-shirt I expect to see a bug bite, a mound of red flesh filled with some insect venom, but underneath the light on their front porch I see nothing, just my skin. I could’ve sworn I just got stung by a bee. When I look up I could swear that I see Nadine looking down at me.

  Involuntarily I shake my head, which distorts my vision, and by the time I look up again and have a clear view of Caleb’s window, all I see are his navy blue curtains. No Nadine, no shadowy figure, no nothing.

  It’s been almost a week since I heard the twins argue, but obviously I’m still thinking about them, so when I thought I got stung by a bee, I immediately got a mental picture of Nadine, because to me Nadine will always be a bee. That’s got to be it. There’s no way that Caleb would be in his bedroom with Nadine at this time of night. No way at all.

  I don’t even make it to the curb before turning back around, my eyes peering up and zeroing in on Caleb’s window. Still nothing. I don’t even see him through the curtains. Not that I have x-ray vision. I mean I can see farther than most normal people, but I’m not Superman’s long-lost relative; I can’t see through objects. I also don’t see things that aren’t there.

  Whenever I’ve thought I was hallucinating, like with my brother in the bathroom, it turns out I was having a premonition. This time shouldn’t be any different. Maybe it wasn’t Nadine up in his bedroom, but I definitely saw a girl looking at me, which means Caleb was lying to me. Which means I’m not going to get any sleep tonight until I confront my boyfriend and find out the truth.

  My finger is about to press the buzzer on the front door when I stop myself and channel my inner Charlie’s Angel. Instead, I twist the doorknob and am not terribly surprised to find that the door is unlocked. Aha! Caleb was in such a rush to get rid of me and get back to the slut in his bedroom that he didn’t even remember to lock his front door.

  Now I don’t feel so bad for trying to trick him or catch him in the act. If he’s that stupid to leave the door unlocked so I could waltz right into his house unnoticed, he deserves to be caught. When Mr. Bettany enters the living room wearing his pajamas and holding two empty plates, I’m the one who feels trapped.

  “Dominy,” he says, surprised, but smiling. “I didn’t know you were coming over.”

  Thinking quickly I lie. “I forgot my algebra book, and I have homework.”

  “Do you want me to call Caleb for you?” he asks.

  “That’s all right. I sent him a text; he’s expecting me,” I lie once more.

  Did Mr. Bettany just give me a weird look? Does he not believe me? Or does he not believe that his son would let me come over when he’s shacking up with another girl in his bedroom? Or is he just embarrassed that I caught him in his pajamas?

  “We were just having some dessert,” he says, lifting the plates into the air. “Mrs. Bettany’s apple pie. It’s so delicious you don’t even need the à la mode part.”

  How can a couple fight with their mouths full of pie?

  “You guys were having dessert?” I repeat, knowing that I sound like a moron.

  “Perfect way to end the day,” he replies, “Homemade dessert while watching an old Meg Ryan movie. Reminds Mrs. Bettany of when we were dating.”

  Did Caleb’s father just blush in front of me?! If this wasn’t absolute pro
of that Caleb was lying to me about his parents having a fight, I would be sort of grossed out by the TMI factor. But I’m too mad to be grossed out. All I want is to get upstairs and rip my boyfriend’s blond hair out of his head. Strand by strand!

  “That’s so sweet,” I say instead. “But I have to get my book so I can get home and do my homework.”

  “You didn’t walk over here alone, did you?” he asks, shifting gears from romantic husband to concerned father figure.

  “No, I borrowed Louis’s car.”

  What’s one more lie? I’ve said so many lately, I’m starting to lose count. When I push open Caleb’s bedroom door, however, I realize this is the first time he’s ever lied to me. When I see Nadine sitting next to him on his bed, I realize that I picked the wrong twin to trust. When I feel the tears start to well up in my eyes, I realize this was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Have I not learned that the truth is usually painful, and that’s why it needs to remain hidden?

  “I’m sorry,” I hear myself mutter.

  And I am. I wish I were back home watching TV with Arla or trying to mend my torn relationship with Barnaby, letting him know that despite everything that’s happened to us and despite everything that he suspects, I will always be his older sister and I will always look out for him. I want him to know that the only thing you can count on in this world is family. Because you definitely can’t count on boyfriends!

  “I’m sorry,” I repeat. “I didn’t realize you were busy.”

  Turning quickly I start to leave the room, a huge collection of emotions exploding inside of me. Anger, hurt, disappointment, sadness, all these things are ricocheting inside my head and my heart, making me wish I was still the ignorant girlfriend. My life has been so crazy lately, the one true constant has been Caleb. I always thought that his feelings for me were stronger than mine were for him, but maybe I was wrong? What I feel for him may not be undying love, but I love being his girlfriend and more than that I love knowing that he wants to be my boyfriend. I guess all of that’s over now.

  “Dominy, wait!” Caleb cries.

  I feel his hand on my arm, and it isn’t me who reacts; it’s the wolf. Roughly, I shake his hand off of me, and I swear I hear myself growl. Now that I’m free I don’t want to move, and I just stand there with my back to him and Nadine, standing in the doorway afraid to make a move, when out of nowhere I hear my mother’s voice, soft, but powerful inside my head.

  Remember, Dominy, you are blessed.

  Thankfully I understand exactly what she means this time. My life may not be perfect, no one’s is, but I’ve been blessed with a few things that my mother handed down to me: self-respect and inner strength. Those words get tossed around a lot, and people often ignore them or take them for granted, but they shouldn’t, because when a situation like this arises you need to be ready to grab hold of them. Like I am right now.

  Turning around to face my boyfriend and his new girlfriend, I smile, which has the desired effect, because I can tell from both their expressions they weren’t expecting this. They were expecting a face filled with tears or contorted into a wolfen rage, but I’m better than that. And I’m better than both of them.

  “That’s all right, Caleb. If you’d rather go out with Nadine, that’s fine with me; I wouldn’t want to stand in your way,” I say quite calmly. “I just wish you would’ve given me a heads-up.”

  Just as I’m about to unfasten the faux-diamond necklace he gave me last Christmas, Caleb and Nadine both start shouting at the same time.

  “We are not on a date!”

  Isn’t that sweet? They’re so in sync that they’re lying simultaneously.

  “Then why are you both sitting on your bed, Caleb?” I ask. “And why did you lie to me to get me out of your house?”

  “Because I’m tutoring Nadine in math,” Caleb explains. “And she didn’t want anyone to know.”

  “But I never meant for you not to tell Dominy!” Nadine adds. “I mean Dom’s your girlfriend; you shouldn’t be keeping secrets from her.”

  “No, you shouldn’t, Caleb,” I say, unable to resist.

  “Dom, I’m really sorry,” Nadine says, grabbing my hand. “I assumed Caleb told you and you were keeping it a secret so no one would find out I’m not as smart as I pretend to be.”

  Shrugging my shoulders, I reply, “Caleb didn’t tell me nuthin’.”

  Nadine and I both look at Caleb at the same time expecting an answer. Since the odds are unevenly matched, two against one, Caleb’s mouth opens, but he doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. Then he starts to ramble.

  “I didn’t think you wanted me to say anything, Nadine! You said not to tell anyone, so I didn’t. And, Domgirl, you can’t possibly think I would cheat on you . . . especially with Nadine!”

  Now it’s my and Nadine’s turn to be in sync, and we cry out at the same time, shocked by his rudeness. “Caleb! That’s a terrible thing to say!”

  “You know what I mean!” Caleb cries back in exasperation, trying to defend himself. “We’re all friends. Well, except you and me, Domgirl; we’re more than friends.”

  Yes, we are. And Nadine has proven that she’s much more than a friend as well, even if for a fleeting moment I thought she was total B.S., as in boyfriend stealer.

  “I’m sorry, Nadine,” I say.

  “No, I’m the one who’s sorry!” she says, quickly gathering her books. “I feel like a fool.”

  Now it’s my turn to grab her hands and look her in the eye.

  “You have absolutely nothing to feel foolish about,” I tell her. “You suck a little at math. Trust me, there is no way you can suck worse than me.”

  “True that,” Caleb agrees.

  My boyfriend so needs a refresher course in the art of subtlety.

  “Dominy was a lot dumber than you are when I first started tutoring her,” he continues. “She couldn’t even grasp mathematical concepts. At least you get that; it’s just that you sometimes get lost in the execution.”

  Nadine and I stare at Caleb dumbfounded, and after a few seconds we look at each other and crack up laughing. Gigglaughs and deep-throated chuckles fill up the room.

  “You’re lucky he’s so cute, Dom,” Nadine whispers in my ear as we hug.

  “Don’t I know it,” I reply. “And don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”

  The embrace feels good, and I know that I’ve chosen the right twin to trust. After Nadine leaves and I’ve taken my rightful place on Caleb’s bed, I see that my choice might not have unanimous support.

  “I don’t trust her,” Caleb announces.

  “What?!”

  I don’t realize how volatile my reaction is until I see Caleb rubbing the palm of his hand. I must’ve slapped it away when he was trying to run his fingers through my hair, which he loves to do right before he starts kissing me. Maybe I can’t always contain my primitive strength.

  “She’s a lot more trustworthy than you are!” I exclaim.

  “Seriously?” Caleb asks, seriously offended.

  “Caleb, you lied to me!” I remind him. “You told me your parents were practically ready to file for divorce just to get me out of the house so I wouldn’t catch you tutoring Nadine. How many other times have you lied to me?”

  “Only a few,” Caleb admits.

  Gotta give the guy points for being honest.

  “So this is why you’ve been breaking dates with me!” I shout, jumping off the bed. “So you could cozy up to Nadine!”

  “Yes!” Caleb replies. “To get information from her.”

  This is a perfect example that someone who is book smart doesn’t always have common sense.

  “That’s not how tutoring works, Caleb!” I scream. “The tutor gives the information, not the tutee!”

  “Well, the tutee cannot be trusted!”

  The absurdity of our words and our conversation finally hits us both, and now we start laughing. The sound is different than when I was laughing with Nadine; i
t actually sounds prettier—my gigglaughs mixed in with Caleb’s high-pitched snorts. I cling to my boyfriend’s arms and feel the muscles underneath his shirt, focusing on how smooth and hard he feels. I wish I could rip his shirt off and see his chiseled body, see a little more than I’ve ever seen before, but it isn’t the right time for action; it’s time for explanation.

  We sit on his bedroom floor, Caleb behind me, his arms and legs draped over mine. He explains that he overheard Nadine talking to Danny Klausman one day, complaining about a C she got on an algebra quiz. Caleb took it as the perfect opportunity to offer his services as her private tutor in order to get closer to her to find out if there was any truth to the stuff Jess wrote about Nadine in her diary. I’m pretty impressed with his initiative, but I’ve already decided that Jess was just writing that Negative Nadine stuff because she was jealous of her. To take it a step further, Jess probably knew that her relationship with Napoleon was doomed from the start, but didn’t want to admit it even in the privacy of her own diary, so she took out her frustration on the one twin she could.

  When Caleb leans his head against mine, I can smell the super-strong smell of the shampoo from the Two W gym in his hair, like disinfectant mixed with only a hint of citrus. Yucklean. Right now, however, I think it smells heavenly. I’m so lost in Caleb’s arms and hair smell that I almost forget to tell him about Jess’s latest visit.

  “She showed up right in the middle of Dice’s class?” he asks.

  “Practically gave me a heart attack,” I reply. “I’m not sure if I’ll ever get used to her doing stuff like that. Or the things she says.”

  I explain to Caleb what Jess told me, that I can only trust one of the twins, and Caleb nods his head furiously in agreement.

  “She’s right!” he exclaims.

  “Exactly.”

  We might agree that only one of the Jaffe twins can be trusted, but we can’t agree upon which one. Because the moment I say Nadine, Caleb says Napoleon.