The Tragedy of Loving Jamie Clarke

by Cohen, Rebecca R.

“Thanks mom. Bye!” I am out of the house before she can give me a daily pep-talk. For the last month mom has been leaving me little reminders that this brace isn’t going to be around forever and that I shouldn’t let it affect me in a negative way. She reminds me of how beautiful I am and that people will see past the bars and the plastic and remember that I am still the same person I’ve always been but of course, since Jamie and I got together mom’s notes have referenced him quite a bit. Yesterday she said, “For everything we don’t think we can handle we get something so incredible we can do anything. You got this crappy deal with the brace but if you hadn’t then maybe you wouldn’t have met Jamie. Maybe all of your brace stuff came along so you could find something awesome. Life is beautiful April, as are you.” If anyone saw these notes they would think I was suicidal.

  Ding-Dong! “Damn, I am late, that’s first period bell.”

  Today is the day my luck runs out. Mrs. Honor is going to make a big thing of my tardiness like she did when Mikela Asher was late last week. She had poor Mikela stand in front of the class and read an entire chapter of To Kill a Mockingbird. I couldn’t imagine having to be in the front of the class and reading. When I read aloud I tend to read the wrong line or say a word wrong so Scout Finch would come out as Fout Sinch as if people wouldn’t be laughing enough as is because of my brace, let’s add in stupidity to the many things they can make fun of me for.

  As I’m tearing through the hallway, I see the two freshmen boys who have been teasing me about my brace. They are nasty, immature boys but they are not violent. They are giggling like tween girls who are meeting Justin Bieber. One of them is holding a shiny object in his hand. And they are racing right towards me. “Hey move over before you plow into me you jerks!” I shout. As they get closer I see what the shiny object is; a master combination lock, and it’s open. The boy holding the lock raises it slightly and lunges towards me. “Here Hunch!” As Henry Mason ducks into Mrs. Honor’s class I can hear the lock clank onto the metal bar on the left side of my neck. Laughing, the boys bolt down the hallway and out of sight. The lock hums and scratches against the bar. The thing I feared the most has happened. I am officially the school joke. My only solace is that everyone else is in class so no one else can see this combination lock hanging off my brace. I frantically try to remove the lock and swing my shoulder around, which forces the lock to slide toward the front of the bar so I can grab it. “Oh my God! How can I get this thing off me?” I yell. Okay, only two ways that I know of to remove a combination lock.

  Use the combination on the sticker on the back of the lock.

  Cut it off with bolt cutters.

  “Oh please God the lock combination has to be on the back! “I say and turn the lock over hoping the combination is still there. Nope.

  When I was 13-years-old and, as my mother put it, reached womanhood for the first time, I had this crush on Andrew Slater. One day when we were waiting for our parents to pick us up I was wearing a skirt and I didn’t feel the trickling sensation down my leg. But my crush noticed and pointed at me and ran away screaming like I had some deadly disease. I was so embarrassed I played sick the rest of the school week. This might be worse than that because this is happening in high school.

  The hallway is rotating around me and my legs buckle until I’m forced to the ground. “Please someone tell me this isn’t happening” I moan. I tug at the lock until my fingers are white. This is useless I am never going to get this thing off! I hear clamoring down the hall, shit! I forgot that Coach Stevens sometimes takes his class outside to the field to run laps. “I can’t let anyone see me like this” I say to no one in particular.

  I know these hallways as well as I know my own house. There is a janitor’s closet next to Mrs. Honor’s classroom; if I can run fast enough I can get there without the gym class seeing me but I’ll also have to duck so no one, especially Mrs. Honor, will see me bolting by. Without further hesitation I make a run for it and leap-frog past her classroom. I duck into the janitor’s closet and slam the door behind me.

  Now I am talking to myself. “There have to be bolt cutters in here somewhere. I mean of all people wouldn’t a janitor have bolt cutters?” Shelves of tools, paper, scissors and light bulbs surround me. It’s like a who’s who of school supplies and fix-it equipment. I start sifting through a few of the shelves but it’s hard with this freaking lock banging into my neck every time I lift my arms to look through some of the higher shelves. “No bolt cutter. What am I going to do?” I can’t hide out in here all day.

  Knock, knock, knock. This is not happening. It can’t be the janitor he wouldn’t knock. Wait a minute, who knocks on a closet door unless they know someone is inside? Oh my God someone saw me come in here! The door creaks as it slides open and I duck behind the shelf closest to the back wall.

  “April?” Jamie says as he pokes his head inside the closet. “You in here?”

  What? How does he know I am in here?

  “Jamie?” I ask as I lean over a broom. I forgot how cute he is. I’ve never been one for the floppy-haired look but there’s something perfect about the way Jamie’s hair falls on his forehead that fits with the deep design of his eyes. I still don’t understand how I ended up with him. I lean further out and the lock slides down the bar scraping the metal and as it does the sound sends daggers through me. Go away, please.”

  “What’s going on, April?” Jamie asks pushing into the closet. “Why are you hiding in here?”

  “How did you know I was in here?” I ask, as if it matters.

  “I saw you duck by Mrs. Honor’s class. I figured since it’s your favorite class that something must be wrong if you’re ditching,” Jamie explains as he approaches me. I clamp my hand over the lock in a poor attempt to hide it from his view. “What the hell!” He grabs the lock as his forehead wrinkles and his lips tighten. He pulls as hard as he can at the lock but it won’t budge. “How did this happen?”

  Breaking down in the middle of a closet in front of Jamie isn’t how I pictured spending my day today. I thought I would come to school flying and excited to get to English class so I could kiss my boyfriend in front of the whole class. I imagined a million scenarios about today and not once did I imagine this. But here I am sobbing like Niagara Falls.

  “Those two freshmen boys ….they thought it would be funny,” I am having a hard time getting the words out in between sniffles and sobs. “I tried but I can’t get it off and the combination is missing.”

  Jamie is pacing back and forth between the shelves with his fists closed so tightly his knuckles are turning white. His breathing is heavy and he is mumbling something but it’s so low I can’t clearly make out what he’s saying. I can hear a few words like, “bastards,” and “kick,” and “asses.”

  “Where are they now?”

  “I don’t know, probably in class.”

  Jamie clasps his fists together like a boxer preparing for a match and grabs my forearm and hauls me out of the closet. He’s dragging me down the hallway and I don’t know how he’s being so gentle about it. He looks like he is ready to kill someone. He has me out in the open for anyone to see this lock hanging from my neck bars. Wherever we’re going I hope we get there fast.

  “Jamie where are you taking me?” I ask planting my feet on the floor, trying to use them as brakes but Jamie is stronger than I am and my efforts fail. “First period is almost over. I don’t know where you’re going but wherever it is can you please hurry.” I plead with him.

  We finally stop in front of Principal Weist’s office. “No, Jamie, no. I don’t want to go in there.”

  I tug at his arm forcing him to let me go. “I don’t even know their names.” “April,” Jamie says, spinning around to face me. “You have to say something, this is bullshit what they did.”

  I’m standing in the middle of the hallway of my high school with only minutes before it’s flooded with my peers. I have this freaking combination lock attached to the worst-thing accessory I’ve ever worn, w
ith a swollen face and lingering sniffles from the sob-fest I had in the closest and all I can think about is how sexy Jamie is right now. He’s all serious and brooding and determined to get justice for me. He’s like my knight in denim and cotton armor. Girls always fantasize that their dream guy is going to swoop in and save them but all they ever get are their fantasies; I however, am living it out. I am the damsel in distress and Jamie is my savior. A girl could get used to this.

  “I need to get this thing off before I do anything else,” I whine. “Please.”

  “Okay, April,” Jamie brushes the stray hairs out of my eyes and grabs my shoulders. “You’re going to think I’m really weird but I actually have bolt cutters in the trunk of my car. See, he really is my knight in shining armor. The stupid janitor didn’t have bolt cutters, which really doesn’t make sense considering they’re the only thing that can break through a combination lock to get into someone’s locker in an emergency, and yet Jamie does? I swear this boy gets more and more perfect every day. Although it is a little strange that he has bolt cutters in his car. I thought only mechanics, criminals, and so-called, bad-boys who like to cause a ruckus and challenge authority? I have only known him for a couple of weeks but Jamie is definitely not a bad boy.

  Sneaking out of the school isn’t hard to do since there are no hall monitors guarding the exit, which according to Jamie is the opposite of how it was in his last school in Boston. Jamie and I bolt for the parking lot where his car is parked just out of sight. I can’t believe I’ve avoided being seen by anyone so far, I really thought the entire class would be pointing and laughing at me by now.

  Jamie is digging through a slush pile of tools in the trunk of his silver Accord and it’s making me wonder what it is he does during his free time. He tosses a few wrenches aside and pulls out a pair of red and silver bolt cutters and it’s like the heavens have opened and are shining their celestial light on the tool. I am jumping up and down with excitement, which is making the lock somersault around the bar. What the hell are you doing, April? Do you realize how ridiculous you must look jumping around with this brace on and the lock flipping up and down? STOP IT!

  Jamie raises the tool and clamps the jaws onto the thickest part of the lock. The pressure of the cutters prying at the lock is rocking the brace and I’m getting a little nauseous. I thought this was the easy part just break the lock with the cutters and that’s it. Why is Jamie having such a hard time getting the thing to crack?

  “I could kill those guys for doing this,” Jamie mumbles loud enough for me to hear him.

  “Jamie, it’s okay,” I say as he continues to tug at the lock. “Calm down.”

  “April this is not okay. They’re little shit boys who obviously have to pick on others to make themselves feel better. I hate people like that,” Jamie scoffs, as the weight seems to shift at my neck. “Almost got it just a few more seconds.” He’s completely focused on the task but I can tell he’s thinking about the boys as his forehead frowns and his face shifts from pale to red and back again.

  “Can you really blame them though? I mean look at me, I am a prime target for this kind of thing,” I reply and I believe every word of it.

  I knew the very first time Dr. Meresh snapped the brace in place that I would become the butt of nearly every joke at school. I never prepared for it but I knew it was coming. The lock cracks and I’m finally free. I stretch out my arms, because isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when a weight has been lifted off you? Jamie spikes it on the concrete and growls.

  “No! You didn’t ask to be put in that thing. You didn’t ask to get scoliosis and they have no right making you suffer for it,” he grabs my shoulders and pulls me in and wraps his arms around my back as his breath blows my hair off my neck.

  I feel that lump in my throat, the one I’ve been fighting since my encounter with those boys in the hallway and this time there’s no way I can ignore it. I crumble into his arms and the weight of the lock, the torment and the fear that someone would see me with it on my brace, fall off and I can finally soak it all in. Water is pooling from my eyes and I’m doing one of those hyperventilating, sobbing cries, you know one of the really ugly ones where your face gets all scrunched and your nose starts dripping? I pull back to give myself enough room to wipe my nose with the sleeve of my shirt as Jamie looks at me.

  “I promise, I won’t ever let anyone do anything like this to you again,” he says and kisses my forehead.

  For the first time in a long time I don’t feel so alone in this. I feel like Jamie and I are facing my reality together and I think I can handle that.

  -10-

  I am not naïve enough to think that perfect relationships exist. I don’t believe that any relationship is free of conflict. As much as I would like to think that Jamie and I are the perfect couple, I know this isn’t true. To date, he and I have never had an argument but I know that it is eventually going to happen. People fight, it is inevitable.

  The brace snapped in place and despite her efforts to escape it, Marlo was trapped. Panic washed over her as she made a run for the door marked, EXIT. If she could get out and onto the street she’d be able to call for help…

  The computer buzzes as the cooling fan comes on for the tenth time in the last fifteen minutes. This dusty old laptop is a hand-me-down from my cousin, Asher, and it’s a total piece of shit. I have to hit it three times before it actually boots up and if it’s not plugged into the charger it won’t last more than five minutes but until I finish writing a book my parents refuse to buy me a new one. I have to finish this book if not for myself so that I can get rid of this laptop before it explodes.

  7 p.m. Ding Dong! Jamie is here. Why is it that I always get the most inspired right before I have something I have to do? I could probably get the book finished today if I had more time. But I can always count on Jamie to be on time.

  “Hey babe!” Jamie shouts from downstairs. “Can I come up?”

  I slam the computer shut before he has a chance to sneak a peek at my work.

  “Hey Jamie,” I reply.

  “So, is the book ready for me yet?”

  “No, definitely not,” I insist. “I still have the last chapter to write.”

  Jamie pouts and jumps on my bed. “Well fine but when it’s done I expect to read every beautiful word of yours.”

  “Fine but only if you promise to be gentle. It’s my first book so the writing is probably crap,” I say begrudgingly.

  “Deal. But I doubt I’ll have to be. I am sure the book is amazing,” Jamie replies. “In the meantime, who is ready for some Arnold?” He’s waving the Terminator DVD in the air and is grinning from ear-to-ear.

  A few days ago, after I made him watch The Notebook for the hundredth time, Jamie made me promise that our next movie would be something manly. So tonight, as promised, we will watch the first two Terminator movies. I have no desire to watch Arnold Schwarzenegger try to act all night but I owe Jamie and I never go back on my promises. Once Amber made me promise her that I would go skinny dipping at least once before senior year so last summer right before school started, Amber and I swam in the ocean bare naked. It was exhilarating but it didn’t last long because I was convinced that some creepy man was standing on the beach watching us. It is one of those experiences that I am glad I did because I never really do anything crazy. Once it was said and done I made Amber swear we’d never talk about it again. I didn’t want my parents finding out - they would never let me live it down.

  “If I say no, will you be mad?” I ask and bat my eyelashes.

  “Sorry kid but you made me sit through endless hours of that Nicholas Sparks, its payback time!” Jamie says and flops onto the bed and kicks his shoes off. “And don’t try the whole, but I’m in a back-brace thing. It worked the first few times but you’re pity movie nights are over now.”

  I’ll admit it; I have used my back-brace as a means to get what I want with Jamie. If I sit for too long the brace does actually shift but it has n
othing to do with the movies he picked out. Clearly he eventually caught on to what I was doing.

  I yank the first Terminator DVD out of Jamie’s hand and shove it into my PlayStation and join my overly excited boyfriend on the bed. At least it’s better than the first movie we ever saw together, Titanic; after two hours of watching water your bladder starts to betray you. At least the worst thing in this movie is Arnold’s bare ass.

  I may have fallen asleep during the movie. It is hard not to fall asleep when you’re wrapped in Jamie’s arms and you’re listening to the rhythm of his heartbeat. It was like a lullaby rocking a baby to sleep.

  “April!” my father says, as he quietly knocks on the door. “Can I come in?”

  I leap off Jamie and into a seated position on the end of the bed as far away from the boy in my room as I can be. I promised them I wouldn’t have sex until I was absolutely ready and when I was it shouldn’t be in my room. Their reason; mom sometimes makes my bed in the morning and she’d hate to touch tainted sheets. Most parents don’t want their daughters having sex in their home because they don’t want them getting pregnant and ruining their lives but mine are afraid of touching tainted sheets.

  “What’s up, dad?” I ask trying to act as normal as possible.

  “Did you get your costume for the party back from the dry cleaners yet?”

  Crap! I completely forgot. The Anchor is having their annual Halloween party next weekend and I had taken my Sexy Minnie Mouse costume to the dry cleaners to be cleaned and pressed but had forgotten to pick it up. The Anchor Halloween party is an elaborate event thrown by the resort for its employees. It is the one time of year when the resort shuts down and for my parents it is one of the most important nights of their lives. Mr. Michael Wells, CEO of The Anchor, was trying to come up with a new way to show his employees how much he appreciated them and Mom suggested an annual Halloween party.

  I can’t believe I forgot about it and forgot to tell Jamie. Since it was my mother’s idea my family gets special party treatment, which means I get to bring a guest if I want. In the past I’ve gone solo, this year I can’t wait to walk in with Jamie on my arm.