Always Mickie (Cruz Brothers Book 3)

by Melanie Munton

  What she said made sense. But I couldn’t get the image of her in that hospital bed out of my head. High blood pressure due to stressful environments.

  “But I do know how you worry for me, Mick,” I said, pressing my forehead against hers. “How can you expect me to tell you every single thing without being afraid of what it’s doing to you? I would rather suffer emotional torture every day for the rest of my life than cause you pain of any kind.”

  She squeezed my arms, her tiny fingers unable to cover even half of my biceps. “But when you keep all of that to yourself, when you shut me out, that hurts me. Do you get that? It hurts to know that I’m not the one you turn to when something is bothering you, or when you just need to talk. You’re causing me more pain by not letting me in than you would if you opened up.”

  It felt like something wrapped around my throat, preventing me from speaking. Or even breathing.

  Was that true? Had I been causing her pain all these years and never realized it? Had she told me this before and I’d just never listened?

  “I don’t want you to think I can’t talk to you,” I whispered, my voice sounding broken even to my own ears. “You’re the only one who would ever understand. But making myself feel better by getting things off my chest would never be worth it if the cost was your peace of mind.”

  Her hands moved up to frame my face. “I can only have peace of mind when I know I’m able to help you,” she said. “When you know I’m here and you’ll come to me when you need me. Maybe it’s really selfish of me, but I just want you to need me, Dawson.”

  Just when I’d thought she couldn’t have said anything crazier.

  I buried my hands in her hair. “I always need you, Mickie.” I placed my hand over the tattoo on my chest. “Remember? I need you every fucking minute of the day. I need you right now.”

  I smashed our lips together, drawing an immediate moan from her. I yanked her tight to me and lifted her onto a stack of chairs, pressing up against her as close as our bodies could get. If she didn’t think I needed her, I would show her how fucking wrong she was.

  My hands were frantic as they found the slit in her dress and shoved the material aside, pushing it past her hips. Her black silk panties were revealed to me. When I rubbed the center of them, I groaned at how wet they’d gotten from my earlier finger fucking.

  “I love knowing your panties are drenched because of me,” I said. “Love knowing I did that to you. You want more?”

  Her eyes were closed when she said, “What do you think?”

  I chuckled and lifted her chin up to me. Her eyes automatically opened at my touch. “Then you’ll keep your eyes open the whole time and watch. Don’t look away from my head between your legs. While I lick you, tongue you…I want your eyes on me.”

  I watched her swallow before I bent forward and kissed her throat. Then I eased my way down her body, kissing the swell of her breasts and moving lower until I reached the apex of her thighs where my prize awaited my hungry mouth. She lifted her ass as I dragged her panties down her legs until they were a heap on the floor.

  And there it was. Her pussy, all glistening and ready for me. Her lips were slick and swollen and so sweet, my mouth watered at the sight. Her heat was the only thing that could satisfy me right then. For now I’d use my tongue. Later, my dick would take the plunge.

  I raised my gaze to hers. Her eyes were glued to my mouth, and her body trembled with the urge to be pleasured.

  “Watch me,” I commanded.

  She tipped her chin. “Eat me.”

  She didn’t have to tell me twice.

  I dove in.

  Lapping up her dripping cream with my tongue, I gorged on her willingly offered flesh. Feasting on her soft lips, consuming her sweet juices, relishing her whimpered pleas for more. I knew how she’d always liked it. She loved the contrasts of slow then fast, of rough then gentle, of nips of my teeth then healing swipes of my tongue. I’d figured all of that out years ago.

  At least some things never changed.

  And when those whimpers turned to stifled moans, I knew she was close. Especially when she started to drive her hips into my face, working herself against my mouth.

  I glanced up at her, needing to see her face as she came. But she had disobeyed my one rule.

  “Open your eyes,” I demanded.

  Her eyelids snapped open, following the sound of my voice.

  “Scream my name until you’re hoarse. Fuck yourself on my tongue. Do whatever you want, but keep your eyes on me.”

  Our gazes remained locked as I put my mouth back on her, guiding her to her climax. Even as she shook against me, her fingers clutching the short strands of my hair, she stayed focused on me.

  “Dawson… Oh, my God…”

  I groaned my encouragement against her skin, telling her without words to ride it out until she couldn’t take it anymore. And she gave me everything she had, greedily draining herself down my throat. But I liked being a tool for her orgasm. Better me and my mouth than her own fingers.

  Unless I was there watching, of course.

  I kissed her inner thighs before I stood back up, proud at how destroyed she looked. Some of her hair had fallen out of the pins holding it together. Stray hairs were clinging to her neck where perspiration had gathered. And her plump lower lip was red from where she’d been digging her teeth into it.

  I would have grinned had she not pulled me in by my tie and connected our mouths once again. I knew she was getting off on tasting herself on my lips. Her fingers flew down to my pants, fumbling with the button and zipper for a moment before they reached the waistband of my briefs.

  She broke the kiss to watch my reaction as she pulled my dick out and stroked. No words were spoken as she squeezed my length, spreading moisture along my shaft, getting it ready to enter her.

  There were no reminders of the no-sex deal we’d made. What was happening here was organic, and we were simply letting our bodies do all the talking.

  Just as I was about to remove her hand myself and push into her, she scooted to the edge of the chair and began to spread her legs wider—

  The door to the room opened.

  I quickly covered her body with mine, so whoever it was wouldn’t see the half-naked state she was in. Luckily, the room was pretty dark, and we were in a corner off to the side.

  The person didn’t even turn on a light. He simply grabbed the first stack of chairs he saw and dragged them out as he distractedly chatted with someone in the hallway. The door closed behind him with a resounding click.

  When I finally looked down at her after several tense beats of silence, I was disappointed—yet not surprised—to see that most of the lust-filled cloudiness in her eyes had disappeared.

  Motherfucker.

  How in the hell could one person’s luck be so bad?

  I had lost count of how many times I’d been shut down with her.

  But her hand was still wrapped around my dick. Something I think we both noticed at the same time.

  The corner of her mouth tilted up as her hand resumed its stroking. It was like she was communicating a silent message. That if the moment was once again ruined for sex, then she would at least pay back the favor and not leave me absolutely miserable for the rest of the night.

  I’d take it.

  Her hand was better than my own. Obviously.

  “Eyes on me,” her sultry voice whispered, throwing my own words back at me.

  It didn’t take me long to shoot all over her hand. Again, not surprising. I was lucky I hadn’t spurted in my pants at the table earlier when her pussy had all but cut the circulation off in my fingers.

  I may have loved the sight of my seed coating her fingers, but it was still a poor substitute for releasing deep inside her.

  With a smile stretching her mouth wide, she took the handkerchief out of my jacket pocket and used it to wipe her hand off. She held it up to me. “I think I’ll keep this.”

  I half-grinned, and bent d
own to retrieve her panties from the floor. “Good. Because I’m keeping these.”

  Christ. I was close to coming again at the thought of her walking around for the rest of the night without underwear on. Knowing nothing had touched her pussy since my mouth had been on it.

  She licked her lips as if she was thinking the same thing. “And here I thought you’d forgotten how to show your wife a good time.”

  I slipped her panties into my pocket. “Like I said, the night is still young.”

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Mickie

  Just when you were about to have sex with your husband, your kid has an Exorcist-worthy vomiting episode.

  Wasn’t that always the way it went?

  Not long after Dawson and I had rejoined the gala the other night, I received a hysterical call from Sage, saying that Gabby had been throwing her guts up. She was terrified she hadn’t fully cooked the hamburgers she’d made for them, and Gabby was experiencing food poisoning. But after rushing back to the house and examining her myself, I’d quickly recognized signs of the flu.

  Needless to say, there had been no more sexy times for me and Dawson that night. He’d taken Leo with him to Mason’s so he wouldn’t get sick, too, while I stayed up all night taking care of our daughter.

  I really was beginning to think there was an evil force at work here.

  Was this one of those “the best things in life don’t come easy” things? Because I think we’d gotten the gist of it by now.

  Buuut…

  Maybe it was also a good thing. I mean, I did say when we needed to hold off on the sex. Maybe Gabby’s upchucking had saved Dawson and me from taking a wrong turn.

  Ugh. I was so confused.

  How was I supposed to justify resisting my own husband? Hell, how was I supposed to resist him in the first place?

  I was about to take my lunch break at work when my cell phone rang. Margot.

  “Stuck any thermometers up anyone’s butt lately?”

  I snorted in laughter. “Well, hello to you, too. It’s still too early in the day for discussions about anal penetration, but I’ll keep you posted.”

  “Fair enough.”

  She loudly smacked her gum over the line. It was a long-time habit that used to drive me bonkers when we were younger. Now, I kind of missed hearing it all the time.

  “How about you?” I asked. “You cussed anyone out recently? Or spit your gum in anyone’s face?”

  “Unfortunately, no,” she replied, laughing. “But I haven’t had a good therapy session in a while, so here’s hoping.”

  She was definitely one of those DMV employees who pretty much dared you to mouth her, so she could go all up and down on your ass. She not-so-charmingly liked to say it was more effective than any amount of therapy one could buy.

  “What’s up?” I asked, glancing at the clock on the wall. “I take my lunch in five. I can call you right back.”

  “No, this won’t take long,” she said. “My lunch is almost over, anyway. I just wanted to call and see if you were working the weekend of the ninth.”

  I pushed some papers aside to peek at my desk calendar. “I’m on call that weekend, but I can always switch with someone. Why?”

  I heard cars honking in the background, and thought of my childhood home back in Jersey. Man, it felt like a million years ago.

  “Well, Milo is going to basketball camp in Levittown that whole weekend, so I thought I’d come for a visit.”

  My head shot up. “You mean to Baltimore?”

  “No, I thought I’d visit my other sister in Maui,” she retorted. I could just picture her sarcastic eye roll. “Yes, Baltimore, dummy.”

  I smiled. “You can’t blame me for being surprised since it’s been, what, four years since you’ve come down our way?”

  She sighed. “Yeah, yeah. I’m the worst sister ever. You can spend my entire visit berating me for it. That weekend’s good, though?”

  “Definitely. I’ll switch my on-call time with someone. It won’t be a problem.”

  If she was actually able to make it down, I’d rearrange anything on my schedule to make it work. Due to money and Milo, she rarely got to take trips, and I could really use some good time with my sister.

  “Good.” She was silent for a moment, and I knew what was coming. “How are you and Dawson doing? You tell him about the job offer yet?”

  Guilt swarmed me.

  I was such a terrible person for being angry with Dawson the way I had been the other night. At least the position he’d been offered was in the same department, and in the same city, for that matter. Mine was an entire state away, and I’d still stood there making him feel bad for keeping things from me.

  And the coward in me still hadn’t told him.

  I understood what he meant by not wanting to bring up a conversation that might lead to an argument. Things had been going really well between us lately, and I didn’t want to ruin it by mentioning my situation.

  I was officially the worst wife ever. And a hypocrite to boot.

  “Dawson and I are actually really good,” I said, clearing my throat when my voice cracked. “But no, I haven’t told him about the job in Jersey yet.”

  She hesitated. “Don’t you think it’s important that he know? I mean, the clock’s ticking.”

  I went into the break room and grabbed my salad out of the fridge. I needed some fresh air, so I decided to eat my lunch outside.

  “Yeah, I know it is,” I said impatiently. “But one of the reasons things are going so well between us is because we’re just focusing on us. Not all of life’s other complications, like jobs. He and I are complicated enough.”

  She snorted. “That’s the truth.”

  I huffed. “Thank you.”

  “Welcome.” She smacked her gum some more. “Just don’t let it blow up in your face, all right? Because if you think you two have problems now, you’ll have loads more if you wait too long to tell him.”

  I passed by the nurses’ station and mouthed break to Lanie, who gave me a thumbs up.

  “I appreciate the advice, but spare me the lecture. It’s too early in the day for one of those, too.”

  “Whatever you say. I’ve got to get back to Hell, so we’ll talk later.”

  I chuckled and hung up, though my unease over the conversation didn’t dissipate. I knew I needed to discuss the Jersey job with Dawson. But if we were able to patch things up and everything else went back to normal, there wouldn’t be any need to tell him. I would turn down the job, and it would all be a moot point. Right?

  I mulled over all these questions as I entered the courtyard and sat down on a bench. It was a warm day, but the surrounding trees provided enough shade that I wasn’t uncomfortable. The smells of freshly mowed grass and my Italian salad dressing filled the air. But even the chirping birds and cloudless sky couldn’t assuage my growing fears.

  I loved my husband. I loved our family.

  I didn’t really want to leave Baltimore. But I also wouldn’t hate being closer to Margot.

  I didn’t totally hate my job now. But I could potentially love the job they were offering me in Jersey.

  Was it wrong of me to even consider taking the job before Dawson and I had worked everything out? I didn’t want to leave him. Ever. But would he be willing to move to New Jersey if I explained it was what I wanted? Because if I wanted to move and he didn’t, I wasn’t sure where that would leave us.

  I wasn’t sure what that said about us.

  Things were going well, yes, but would they stay that way? Were we on the road to reconciliation, or was the smoldering physical stuff between us just a giant smoke screen?

  After all these years, were we still right for each other?

  I hated myself for even considering the question.

  “For someone on her break, you look like you’re thinking awfully hard,” came a voice to my right.

  I jolted in shock, so lost in my thoughts I wasn’t expecting company. Dr. Stein stoo
d beside the bench watching me with an arrogant grin. His expression irked me, and I was in no mood for whatever antics he had ready.

  “Sorry,” he apologized. “Didn’t mean to startle you.” He pointed at the other end of the bench. “Is this seat taken?”

  I just shrugged, unconcerned if he thought I was being curt. I continued to eat my salad, praying he would allow me to sit in peace and quiet.

  But that would be too good to be true.

  “I wanted to let you know that I gave the Stevenson Medical Center a reference the other day,” he said. “They called about the supervisor position you applied for.”

  They’d already offered me the job, so they must have just been doing follow-up procedures. As bothered as I’d been to put down his name as a reference, there was no denying he had some pull in the medical community. He was a very well-known and respected surgeon. So, whether or not I wanted to admit it, working with him looked good on a résumé.

  “I appreciate that,” I replied with no emotion. “Thank you.”

  I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to look in his direction. His scrutiny and interest in my life was starting to become troublesome. The fact that I’d never once encouraged his advances should have clued him in to backing off.

  I guess too many of his brain cells were being used to inflate his ego.

  Which was a scary thought considering this guy operated on human beings every day.

  “No thanks needed,” he said. “You’ve done an exceptional job here. You never told me why you’re wanting to leave, though.”

  I swallowed a bite, considering my words. “It’s not really a matter of wanting to leave. I’ve just been exploring my options.”

  His arm was resting on the back of the bench, and I swear his fingers were creeping toward my shoulder.

  “Does this have anything to do with the problems you and your husband are having?”

  My head jerked around, my eyes connecting with his. He wasn’t smiling or frowning, but more like waiting for me to deny it. The man had some nerve. But the thing was, I couldn’t really afford to piss him off by yelling my offense at him. For the same reason his name had enough clout for a good reference, he also had the power to make my life here at the hospital a living hell.