My Name Is River Blue

by Noah James Adams

  Her aunt had a retired doctor friend help deliver me at her home. When I was three days old, Melissa took me to the hospital and left me in the pediatrics waiting room. She left the name she had given me on my blanket and hoped she would be able to keep track of me that way. She was also naive enough to think that she might reclaim me some time in the future.

  Melissa transferred to UNC at Chapel Hill, where she met Mr. Harrington and married him the summer after graduation. They had two sons together, and built a good, prosperous life. He was the vice president of a management consulting company, and Melissa was a freelance photographer. Everything was great for the Harringtons until they discovered that Melissa had terminal cancer. She had fought for two years and had little time left when she visited me in the hospital.

  When Mr. Harrington finished, it felt strange but good to know the truth. I had real family. Manny was my uncle. My mother and father were dead, but I lived with my uncle, and I had a grandmother and grandfather in Mexico. I wondered about my mother's parents and asked Mr. Harrington.

  "Mr. Harrington, are my mother's parents still alive?"

  "No. Her mother died when our boys were small. Her father died two years ago. Melissa's aunt died a few months after her father."

  "What was my mother's maiden name?"

  "Franklin. Her father was William Henry Franklin."

  "The evangelist?"

  "Yes."

  Memories of the night I met him rushed back to me. The huge revival tent was packed underneath with people sitting on folding chairs, and the overflow crowd of standing worshipers surrounded the tent and stretched as far as I could see. I was a scared nine-year-old boy the night Miss Carver guided me to the front of the tent where the evangelist waited to receive those people who wanted to dedicate their lives to Jesus. Although I didn't know what I was doing, Reverend Franklin, my grandfather, placed his hand on my head and smiled. I never forgot the warmth that spread through me and replaced my fear.

  Reverend Franklin's fame grew until he was filling football stadiums. The last time I saw him, I was flipping through TV channels in my hospital room during my recovery from my ruptured appendix. That Sunday morning, I discovered that the evangelist used his own TV show to reach additional people who couldn't see him in person.

  I didn't have long to dwell on my grandfather because Mr. Harrington resumed talking.

  "River, I can't imagine what it was like for you growing up, but I want you to know that even though Melissa used poor judgment when she was young, she was not a bad person. She did care about what happened to you. She had a scrapbook full of all your athletic accomplishments, and she was heartbroken when you had the accident. She told me that she was in your hospital room with you the night before she deposited the money in your account, and she came very close to waking you. She didn't for two reasons. One is that she didn't want to upset you in your condition, and the other is that she thought you could never forgive her."

  Mr. Harrington opened a briefcase on the table beside him. He retrieved a large, manila envelope and handed it to me. "Those are a few pictures of Melissa that I thought you might want."

  "Thank you." I took the envelope, but I didn't open it until later that night. My mother was a pretty woman. She looked happy and not much older than she did in the photo I saw of her in Manny's apartment.

  "River, as I already said, I'm sorry. I wish things had been better for you, and I wish I could tell you something more to help, but I can't. I'm hoping that you will let this be the end. I really want my sons to remember their mother as they do now. They are young and her death has been hard on them. I don't want them to hear anything that might lessen their memories of her and make them wonder if there were other secrets."

  "Mr. Harrington, I promise that they won't hear anything from me, but I would like to know their names."

  He hesitated a moment before telling me. "Shawn is thirteen and Gavin is eleven."

  "Good names."

  "Thank you, River." Mr. Harrington reached inside his suit and brought out his checkbook. "I appreciate that you understand how important it is to keep this quiet, and I'd like to seal our deal with a onetime offer of some financial help. Maybe for college or living expenses?"

  As I studied him, poised over his checkbook, waiting for me to name an amount, my first instinct was to tell him to kiss my ass because he apparently couldn't trust my word. I had seen Mr. Harrington a hundred times before. He wanted to give me more incentive to keep quiet as if he knew it was necessary when dealing with state trash who would try to exhort money from him. I decided that I would be wasting my energy to tell him what I thought because it wouldn't make any difference. He had long ago sorted everyone into stereotypes.

  "Mr. Harrington, I don't want your money now or ever. You'll never hear from me again unless you contact me. Thanks for your time."

  I stood, shook his hand, and walked out of his life. I haven't seen Mr. Harrington since that day in the hotel, and I'm sure that he hasn't told Shawn and Gavin about me. After what I've done, I hope he doesn't.

  Papa and I rode silently. He was waiting until I was ready to talk.

  Mr. Harrington gave me the answers I had wanted all of my life, but I wasn't happy or sad or anything. I wasn't sure how I should feel or what it all meant to me.

  How would Manny react when I told him? Did he already know? I recalled the afternoon when Manny brought Ant and me towels in the shower. Manny was startled when he saw my birthmark, and I thought that I knew the real reason. Maybe it was the same reason that Beth Summers stared at my chest when I dried off by the Summers' pool.

  "Papa?" The man jumped slightly as if he had been daydreaming.

  "Yes, River."

  "Gabe Flores had a birthmark on his chest just like mine, didn't he?"

  Papa turned his head towards me. "Yes. He did."

  "Almost identical?"

  "Yes, River. Almost identical."

  I began to grow angry, but I was confused. I wasn't sure if it was justified.

  "Papa, did you know? Did Manny know? Did you know all this time and not tell me?"

  "Know? For sure? We suspected. I guess Mr. Harrington confirmed it?"

  "Yes, sir."

  "River, we couldn't prove anything. We assumed that Missy took off because she couldn't stand to come around after Gabe died. We never considered that she was pregnant until after we got to know you and realized that the timing of your birth fit. The older you got, the more you resembled Gabe, especially your eyes.'

  "Manny already had a feeling about you, and when he saw your birthmark, we discussed telling you what we thought. You were so young and had been through so much that we thought it would be cruel to tell you and then have it snatched away from you if we were wrong. We decided that we were going to treat you like family until you were older and had time to heal some of your old wounds. We were going to talk to you the week after the barn party, but your accident changed that. Then when you found the money in your account, we decided to see if it led to where we thought it might."

  "I think I understand, but I wish you had told me. How do you think Manny will feel about it? You know, when he knows for sure I'm his nephew."

  "I have no doubt that Manny will be happy."

  "Papa, I want to be alone for a while when we get back."

  ***

  When we returned to the farm, I took a walk on one of the riding trails and then I enjoyed a long nap in my room. After we ate dinner with Papa, Manny and I sat in the common room of our apartment and talked. We had a good conversation until well after midnight, and he assured me that nothing could have made him happier than to learn that I was really Gabe's son. I was a little worried about how my grandparents would react to me, but Manny assured me that they would love me, and his mother would thank God for blessing her family.

  Maybe I needed to show everyone that I had family and that I belonged to someone. Maybe I thought it would make him happy. Whatever the reason was, when we were ready
to call it a night, I asked my uncle if he would mind me calling him Uncle Manny. He answered me with a big grin and a strong hug, and from that night on, I did my best to make sure that everyone knew that Manny Flores was my uncle.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  All the junior high boys arrived within an hour of each other, and Papa was pleased that the greeting and registration of the campers went smoothly. We guided the drivers to drop off the boys and their bags at the first barn and then to follow the circle back to the highway. At the barn entrance, we checked in each boy, gave him a schedule of activities, and directed him inside the barn to the "dorm." Each boy would be sleeping on a folding cot, and underneath each cot, there was a plastic storage container for his clothes and personal items.

  I stood outside the barn at the drop-off spot. As one of the camp staff, I greeted the campers and their parents, directed the boys to the barn to register, and kept the cars flowing through the circle until they reached the exit to the highway. When the training sessions began, Coach Haney and I would be working with the quarterbacks and receivers.

  As I greeted the young campers, I recognized some parents, whose older sons had played football with me. A few of them politely inquired about my health before following the circle to exit the farm, but most of them didn't bother to speak to me since I was no longer relevant.

  Each time I pointed the campers towards the barn entrance, I saw Papa staring at me as if the man was waiting for me to break down. He and Uncle Manny were both worried that I was emotionally unstable after my visit with Mr. Harrington. I told them that I was fine and just needed some time to sort my feelings, but it was useless for me to tell them not to worry.

  The football camp was a good way to give my mind a break, but seeing Carlee made it even better. I should not have been surprised when I saw Carlee's white Lexus in line with the other cars delivering campers, but for just a moment, I was. I had forgotten that Carlee told me that she and her family would be back from vacation late on the night before the football camp began. She said that she would volunteer to bring her little brother to camp, so she could see me in person. When Carlee was close enough, she smiled at me, dropped off Billy, and then parked her car behind the barn next to mine.

  I was stunned when Carlee strolled from the shade of the barn back into the sunlight where I was standing. She looked even hotter than usual. Wearing a pink tank top with matching shorts and tennis shoes, she showed plenty of smooth, flawless skin, bronzed in vacation sun. The angle at which the sunlight hit her eyes made them the most strikingly, beautiful blue that I had ever seen, and at that moment, I was the luckiest guy on earth because her eyes saw only me.

  A quick glance around me at the campers and their fathers told me that I was not the only guy who appreciated the hours of aerobics, swimming, and jogging that Carlee logged to stay fit. However, I was the only guy she greeted with a hug and a kiss that continued much longer than appropriate under the circumstances.

  When we heard whistles from the junior high boys, Carlee and I broke apart and realized that we were holding up traffic. One of the fathers, who had stopped to let out his son, was in such a daze that I politely asked him to move his car out of the circle, so other cars could come through. Carlee remained with me as I greeted more campers and their parents when they stopped to unload. We refrained from any more public displays of affection, but we talked between arrivals.

  "Was it a good vacation?" I asked.

  "It was okay. Our part of the beach was full of boring business types like my father. I read a couple of books, slept a lot, and worked on my tan."

  "I can tell. You look good." Good and hot, I thought.

  "How was your move from Tolley House?"

  "No problems. Hey, it's nothing for you to worry about, but I have some big news to tell you when we have some private time."

  "You're going to have me wondering. Sure it's nothing bad?"

  I laughed. "I'm sure, Carlee. It doesn't affect our relationship at all. Have patience and we'll talk tonight. Did you tell your parents about college?"

  "Not yet." Carlee frowned. "I'm not looking forward to my father's reaction."

  "You don't have to go to school with me, you know. If you want to go to Vandy, I'm willing to make that work for us."

  "My father is the one who wants me to go to Vandy, not me. I'm staying here and sticking to our plans. I love you, River."

  "I love you, babe." I gave her a quick kiss. "I just want you to be happy. Okay?"

  Carlee suddenly grinned. "I haven't told him about the study program either."

  "Damn, Carlee." I laughed. "Aren't you supposed to leave in a few days?"

  She giggled. "Yes, but one of dad's business friends invited them to stay at their place in Honolulu for a few weeks. They're leaving tonight, so after they're in Hawaii, I'll tell them that I ditched the study program in France. Oh, and Billy will be staying with his best friend's family after the football camp, so I'll be free to be with you."

  "Big Bill will be madder than hell. It'll be something else for him to blame on me."

  "Do you care?"

  I smirked. "Hell, no. I want you here with me."

  "Before I forget, I talked to Max last night. He said to tell you that they're working his butt off in summer training, and it's not fun like it was with Ant and you. He sounded a bit down."

  "Tell him that he's lucky he has a chance to play college ball for a major school." I couldn't believe Max was complaining about living the dream we all wanted.

  Carlee paused as if searching for the right words. "River, why don't you tell him? You and Ant were his best friends. He wonders why you won't return his calls."

  "Sorry. I'll give him a call." I didn't want to argue with Carlee, but talking to her cousin reminded me of what I had lost. Still, Max had been a good friend to me before and after the accident, and I had been a jerk to him. I decided that I would call Max and invite him to the farm for a weekend whenever he had a break.

  "I know you miss football, River."

  "Not that much anymore. I love the farm, Carlee. Things will be good for me here. Even better since we'll be together."

  With a dreamy look in her eyes, Carlee scanned our surroundings. "You know I'm jealous of you. Deer Lake Farm is so pretty. It's the kind of place some people choose to visit on their vacation, and you get to live here."

  "The spot where Ant and I used to camp at Deer Lake is my favorite place, not just on the farm, but anywhere. We loved to swim there. The water was so clean and clear. If we had a full moon, it would cast a silver glow over the lake, and we would swim at night. Ant said it must be what lakes in heaven are like."

  "River, it all sounds so beautiful. I can tell how much you love it."

  "By the summer we were fifteen, Ant and I had learned enough about camping that Papa let just the two of us camp at the lake for a few days. When our time was up, we didn't want to leave. We were never more at home than we were at Deer Lake."

  Carlee was staring at the wooded hill behind the first barn as if she were seeing all that I described. "River, I love hearing you talk about things that make you happy, and I'm glad you have Deer Lake. I would kill for a camping trip like you and Ant shared."

  Papa's voice made us jump. "You don't have to kill anyone. All you have to do is ask."

  Carlee and I blushed when we realized that Papa had come out to tell me that there were no more cars in line, and that he needed my help with the boys in the barn. I had completely forgotten what I was supposed to be doing.

  "Papa, I'm sorry," I said. "I guess we got carried away."

  Papa laughed. "You think? I'm glad none of the parents ran you over before they decided to unload and move on without you."

  "It's my fault, Papa," said Carlee. "I guess I need to go and get out of your way."

  Papa shook his head. "You don't have to leave, Carlee. In fact, if you get bored this week, I could use your help. I still haven't found a new cook and housekeeper, and this is a ba
d week to be short that extra pair of hands."

  Carlee looked at me. "I don't want to intrude."

  "You wouldn't be intruding," said Papa. "River and I would love to have you."

  "Heck, yeah. I know I would like you here," I said. "There's plenty of work you could do, and we could be free after we got the boys down for the night."

  "Well, I won't hound you, Carlee," said Papa. "Just know you're welcome, and if you would really like to go camping, we can discuss that. I'm sure I could spare River for a few days after the football camp is over. You're both adults now, so it's up to you. Let me know, and I'll get some guys to set up your camp so that River doesn't have to worry with that."

  It was obvious that Papa was offering me time with Carlee as a distraction, and a little camping trip with her sounded like good medicine for me. I wondered if she knew exactly what to expect of camping in the woods, so I warned her.

  "Carlee, I think camping with you would be fun, but you need to understand it means that you would be away from the comforts of home."

  "River, I know it's not like home, and I might surprise you with how I can adapt. Anyway, we can think about it and talk later." Carlee turned to Papa. "Papa, if you really need help, I don't have anything planned for the rest of the day, and I could be available for the rest of the week, day and night, if you need me to help with the camp."

  Papa grinned. "We could use you the whole week, young lady. You're welcome to stay in the house, if you don't want to drive back and forth. I would rather you not bunk with River since the kids may be snooping around the barn at night instead of sleeping."

  Carlee looked to me for approval. I nodded, and she accepted the invitation.