by A. J. Pine
“I made a huge mess of things. Didn’t I?” Luke asked. Yes, Lily had run. But Luke hadn’t chased her. After she’d betrayed his trust to Jack, he’d let his pride get in the way instead of doing what he should have the night he met her—telling her the truth. The whole truth.
He loved her—had loved her for three damn years but had grown so used to burying the truth that when it finally rose to the surface, he hadn’t the slightest clue how to make heads or tails of it.
Walker sauntered over just as those words left his mouth, and the shit-eating grin on his face told Luke he had heard every one of them.
“Made a mess doing what?” Walker asked but didn’t wait for Luke to answer. “Falling for your buddy’s girl? Or sleeping with her before telling him?”
Luke looked over his shoulder to the Green family, who thankfully weren’t paying attention to the three brothers holding private court over his mess of a love life.
“What time is it?” Luke asked, not engaging his younger brother with a response. He knew Lily was working, but maybe there was time to find her and figure this all out before the ceremony got under way.
“Hey!” a voice called from the back door, and everyone’s attention moved in that direction to find Sara’s sister, Erica, pointing at a nonexistent watch on her wrist. “Ceremony in thirty minutes. You all need to head over first so the bride can make her entrance. Go! Go!”
Luke shrugged. That answered his question.
“Hey, Tuck,” he called over to his friend. “Need a ride?”
Tucker’s father slapped his son on the back. “Thanks, but no thanks,” he said to Luke. “I’d like to have a little prewedding chat with my son before he says I do. Again.”
Tucker winced, and that one small expression brought Luke back to that morning in Lily’s kitchen after the farmers market—to the way it was clear his friend still cared about her.
And he still would now. The question was whether or not he would care enough to want her to be happy no matter who the other guy was—and if there was still a chance he could be the one to make her happy. Because that ship might have already sailed.
“All right,” Luke said. “I’ll see you over there. Do me a favor and meet me in the back office. I need to talk to you before the ceremony.”
“Sure thing,” Tucker said absently. Since Erica stood like a bouncer in the doorway, making sure the groom did not catch an accidental glimpse of the bride, his family ushered him down the steps of the deck and around to the front yard.
“Well, boys?” Luke said, his heart starting to beat a little faster than normal. “Let’s see if I survive this wedding and make it to that damned rodeo tomorrow.”
Walker drained the rest of his bottle and shook his head. “You’re toast, brother.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Luke said, his throat tight. Because his brother was probably right.
Luke didn’t even recognize the winery when he walked in. The drop cloths were gone, revealing the travertine tiled floor. While the wood wasn’t yet up on the walls, they’d all been painted. There were tables with chairs covered in white cloth and a petal-strewn aisle for the ceremony. And a string quartet played something Luke didn’t recognize, but it was beautiful just the same. The place looked fit for a wedding. Good thing that was why they were there.
He saw Ava behind the bar, which looked to be the food service area and was already set with cold appetizers for immediately following the ceremony.
He cleared his throat as he approached. “Where is she?” he asked.
Ava—her auburn waves resting on the thin straps of her blue dress—crossed her arms and blinked, feigning innocence.
“Who?” she asked.
“Come on, Ava. I don’t have time for—”
Her gaze softened, and she blew out a breath. “How are you two going to fix this?” she asked, her tone less than encouraging.
“I—I don’t know,” he admitted, using those same words Lily had when she called last night—when he’d bitten his tongue hoping she’d say something to fix it all when he knew she hadn’t messed things up on her own.
“Jack said you’re still riding tomorrow.” He didn’t miss the hint of disappointment in her voice.
His jaw tightened. “Would you have asked Jack to give up his future for you?”
She narrowed her eyes. “You know the answer to that, Lucas Everett. You know that everything I did—mistakes or no—was so he could have the future he wanted. The future he needed. But you get how this isn’t the same, right? You get that you might not have the future you think you will after this?”
He shook his head, for the first time with certainty. “I’m not going to fuck up tomorrow,” he insisted. “Not if I make everything right today.”
Ava sighed. “I hope you’re right, Luke. I really do. We’ll be there, you know. Jack, Owen, me, and Walker.”
“But not Lily.”
Ava shook her head.
He opened his mouth to say something else but then looked over her shoulder to where Tucker was just walking into the office.
“Shit,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”
He pulled at the collar of his shirt—at the tie around his neck—and strode toward either certain death or—no, it was most likely certain death. He’d have preferred the bull. That had to be safer than the fallout of what he was about to tell his friend.
When he got to the office, Tucker was leaning against the desk—arms crossed, his legs out in front of him, one ankle hooked over the other.
“So,” he said as Luke stopped just inside the room, the door not even shut before he leveled Luke with his knowing gaze. “Is this where you tell me you’re in love with my ex-wife?”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Lily stood up from where she was squatting behind the bar and dusted off her white chef’s coat.
“Do you think he saw me?” she asked.
Ava gave her a pointed stare. “You two are ridiculous,” she said. “Seriously. Just go talk to him.”
Lily shook her head. “I have to make sure everything is ready before—”
“Enough,” Ava said, cutting her off. “Look around you, Lil. Everything is all set. Vegetables are chopped. Food is cooked.”
She pointed to the three-tiered lemon curd wedding cake that was simply yet elegantly decorated with white fondant and yellow rose petals, all of which had taken Lily’s entire day to prepare yesterday—the one item she couldn’t finish in Phoenix.
“The cake is gorgeous,” Ava continued. “And you’ve got the whole restaurant staff here taking care of everything else. You did it. You pulled this off. Now it’s time to go and fix things with you two already. Because trust me when I tell you that when you fall for one of the Everetts, you never truly right yourself.”
Lily’s brows rose. “I don’t know how to be in love like that,” she said.
Ava laughed. “How do you know you’re not already?”
Lily’s stomach flipped back and forth, and she thought she might be ill.
“Where did he go?” she asked.
Ava pointed toward the back of the winery and beamed. “The office. I think he’s with Tucker.”
She blew out a breath. Perfect. She could tell Luke how she felt about him with her ex-husband there as witness—right before he married his pregnant bride. This kind of thing happened every day, right?
So she stepped out from behind the circular bar and strode toward the door, hoping that her future lay behind it. Her knees wobbled, but with every step they grew stronger, as did her resolve.
She loved Luke Everett. She loved him. And there was no getting around it. He’d just have to deal with it, and she’d have to find a way to deal with the fact that tomorrow he might get injured, worse than he ever had before.
But he also might not.
He was good at what he did. So damn talented. And sexy. And she was ready to burst through the door when she realized it wasn’t closed all the way, and she could hear voices
rising inside. Even though she knew she shouldn’t, she leaned against the doorframe and listened, unable to see anything other than the shaft of waning sunlight filtering through the small open crack.
“Three years?” she heard Tucker say, incredulity and something unrecognizable in his tone. “What the hell am I supposed to do knowing you’ve been in love with my wife since the day you fucking met her?”
Lily sucked in a breath, then threw her hand over her mouth.
Tucker wasn’t talking to Luke. He couldn’t have been. Because for three years—up until that night after the ER—he hadn’t been able to stand her. They—they didn’t like each other. The feeling was mutual. It wasn’t—
“Ex-wife, Tucker.” His voice held a quiet control she hadn’t heard before, but it was unmistakably Luke. “The second you left the bar with her that first night, I buried whatever I thought I felt. It was just—I don’t know—physical attraction. At least that’s what I thought. I didn’t realize you were gonna marry her. And I didn’t—I didn’t know I was fucking falling in love with her.”
Footsteps sounded on the tile within. Someone was pacing, and she guessed it was Tucker. But considering that she couldn’t exactly breathe at the moment, she wasn’t entirely sure. A lack of oxygen to the brain could be messing with her perception.
“She told you about the cheating, didn’t she? After she promised she wouldn’t. This is some sort of retribution? You sleeping with her and then spouting some bullshit about being in love—the guy who doesn’t do love?” Tucker asked, and Lily’s cheeks burned.
How dare he accuse her? What the hell did he think—
“You…what?” Luke’s voice held a measured calm that did nothing to mask the fury underneath. “You cheated on her, and she kept your pathetic secret? You told me you met Sara on that trip to Santa Barbara that was supposed to clear your head after Lily walked out. Tell me she’s not out there preparing food for the woman you slept with behind her back. Tell me I haven’t been piling on the guilt for weeks when you’ve been lying for months.”
Luke’s calm was burning away.
Tucker cleared his throat. “So you didn’t know,” he said softly.
A throat cleared.
“I was shit to her for three years because I loved her. Her plans and her lists and grabbing life by the balls? She is the strongest person I know, and I made her think otherwise because I thought I was protecting our friendship.”
“She didn’t love me, Everett.”
“That didn’t give you the right to hurt her. Jesus.” He paused. “I beat myself up for three years telling myself I didn’t deserve what you had, and you pissed it away.”
“I know,” Tucker said.
“Then you lied to me, convinced her to lie for you. For what? So you could uphold some goddamn image?”
Lily guessed Luke was pacing. She could picture it, the action so like him.
“Yes!” Tucker admitted. “So you wouldn’t look at me like I look at myself in the damned mirror. You saw me as better, and I almost believed it. Well? Now you know I’m not.”
“I’m not gonna ruin your wedding,” Luke said. “But we’re not okay.”
There was a beat of silence, then Luke again. “I still love her. I came here to ask you for your blessing, but she was right. You have no claim on her, Tuck. No one does. You don’t deserve her friendship, but she’s still here for you.”
“I know.”
Still. Luke loved her still. That word hung in the silence between the two men—hung now like a weight around Lily’s neck.
All these years that he’d been so horrible to her…that she’d wondered what she’d done or why. He’d loved her.
He still loved her.
“You wanna hit me or something?” Tucker asked, resigned. “I sure as hell deserve it.”
Luke huffed out a breath. “I came here expecting you’d want to hit me. Look how the tables have turned.”
Tucker let out a nervous laugh. “If I hit that pretty face of yours and ruin pictures, Everett? Sara will have my goddamn balls.”
“You gonna get it right with her?” Luke asked.
“God I hope so,” Tucker said. “I’m gonna be a father. I think it’s finally time to grow up.” He paused for a beat. “Does Lily know how you feel? Does she know how long—?”
“No,” Luke said plainly.
“Then I guess you’ve got some owning up of your own to do.” Tucker sighed. “Maybe this is your chance to get it right, too.”
There were more words after that, and Lily thought she heard the warning of footsteps, but she was stuck. Frozen where she stood. Only when the door flew open, both men’s eyes widening when they saw her there, did she stumble back from the impact of it all.
“Lily. Jesus,” Tucker said, then grabbed her hand and squeezed. “I’m sorry. For everything.” Then he kissed her on the cheek and headed to his place in the back of the aisle where his parents were waiting.
“Hey,” Luke said, his voice tentative. But he made no move to step closer to her. A smart move. Because Lily had no idea what she would do if he did.
“I…” Her voice shook on that one word. “I thought you hated me.”
“Lily…” He did step forward this time, and she flinched.
A muscle ticked in Luke’s jaw, but he halted where he stood. “Lily…” he said again, her name a plea, but she shook her head.
“You took my roommate home with you that night. You slept with her.”
“And you went home with Tucker. We messed up,” he said. “I messed up, but I’m trying to make it right.”
“Three years, though?” she asked. “Even after my marriage fell apart—did your brothers know?”
He dropped her gaze for just a second, eyes shifting to the floor before finding hers again.
“Oh my God. They knew. All this time I was the punch line to some twisted joke.”
He reached for her, then thought better of it, hand dropping to his side. “Only Walker knew for sure. Jack suspected, but I didn’t know that until tonight.”
Her eyes widened. “And Ava?” she asked, voice shaking.
Luke shook his head. “Not if Jack only just figured it out. No.”
Lily blew out a breath, wrapping her arms around her torso. “At least the friendship was real,” she mumbled.
“So were we,” he insisted. “So are we.”
“It wasn’t the truth,” she told him. “It was enough that you were keeping the seriousness of your injuries from me. But this is us, Luke. The truth about us. How am I supposed to reconcile the way we treated each other for three years with this?”
His hands fisted at his side. She wanted to take in the vision before her—Luke out of his jeans and boots and gorgeous in his tux—but all she could feel was her throat tightening, her blood pounding in her ears.
“I had to keep the truth from myself, too,” he said through gritted teeth. “And from Tucker. I had no choice. And it wasn’t like you felt differently about me. You were so happy to blame Tucker’s behavior on my influence—the guy who doesn’t do serious.”
She sucked in a breath. “You were the one who told me that.”
“And you were all too quick to believe it.”
He ran a hand through the beautiful blond hair she’d imagined touching just minutes ago before she made it to this door. But everything was different now.
“I should have told you,” he said. “After that first damned kiss, I should have. But I never thought you saw me like you saw him. Tuck messed up, yes. But he’s the kind of guy you put on a pedestal. And I know you had him up there. I’m the kind of guy you run to when that pedestal gets knocked down.”
“That’s not fair,” she said. But that wasn’t entirely true.
Luke spent so much of his life not feeling worthy. What part had she unwittingly played in reinforcing that belief?
“I did this all wrong,” he said. “I got spooked in the beginning, because in my eyes, you were still Tuck
er’s. It doesn’t change the fact that I love you.”
She inhaled a trembling breath, and he let out a nervous laugh. “I’ve been so goddamn terrified of saying that, and this wasn’t how I planned to do it…”
Butterflies danced in her belly, but at the same time her heart sank. The truth was that nothing was what she’d thought it had been.
“I thought we were falling in love,” she said. “Together.”
“We were,” he insisted. “We did.”
She shook her head, hands crossed over her chest. “I feel like we lost three years. I feel like I lost something I never had. And now tomorrow?” She couldn’t bring herself to say it—to think it. “How do I know you won’t leave that arena tomorrow on a stretcher?”
He shrugged. “You let go and have faith that I won’t.”
The quartet’s music changed to the “Wedding March,” and both of their heads jerked toward the aisle to see Tucker and his parents as they started to walk.
“Shit,” he hissed. “Shit. I have to go. I need to head back down to Anaheim tonight, but, Lily…we need to finish this.”
She nodded slowly and then let out a shaky breath as she watched him walk away—and then down the small aisle where he stood next to the groom. Who was once her groom. And it was all just too surreal. She held his gaze for as long as she could, until it was Sara’s time to make her entrance. Even Luke couldn’t ignore the beautiful bride, and as she strode toward her husband to be, Luke finally looked away.
Lily made it through the vows. She watched her ex-husband marry the woman he truly loved, and even though there was still a part of her yet unhealed, she was okay.
“I just watched my husband marry another woman, and I’m still standing,” she said softly to herself. “I freaking did it.”
She pumped her fist in the air ever so slightly, even if she was the only one who saw. Then, half laughing and half sobbing, she sneaked into the office to collect herself—and make sure the guests didn’t see the caterer crying. That might not be the best way to sell the menu.
She stepped inside the small bathroom within, pulling the door shut behind her.
