Man in Control

by Diana Palmer

Jodie forced a quiet smile. Her eyes didn’t quite meet his. “Thanks for the offer, Alexander, but I have an airplane ticket.”

  “Then I’ll drive you to the airport,” he added quietly.

  Her face tightened. She swallowed down her hurt. “Thanks, but Margie’s already dressed and ready to go. And we have some things to talk about on the way,” she added before he could offer again.

  He watched her uneasily. Jodie was acting like a fugitive evading the police. She wouldn’t meet his eyes, or let him near her. He’d had all night to regret his behavior, and he was still blaming her for it. He’d overreacted. He knew she’d had a crush on him at one time. He’d hurt her with his cold rejection. She’d been drinking. It hadn’t been her fault, but he’d blamed her for the whole fiasco. He felt guilty because of the way she looked.

  Before he could say anything else, Margie came bouncing down the steps. “Okay, I’m ready! Let’s go,” she told Jodie.

  “I’m right behind you. So long, Alexander,” she told him without looking up past his top shirt button.

  He didn’t reply. He stood watching until the front door closed behind her. He still didn’t understand his own conflicting emotions. He’d hoped to have some time alone with Jodie while he explored this suddenly changed relationship between them. But she was clearly embarrassed about her behavior the night before, and she was running scared. Probably letting her go was the best way to handle it. After a few days, he’d go to see her at the office and smooth things over. He couldn’t bear having her look that way and knowing he was responsible for it. Regardless of his burst of bad temper, he cared about Jodie. He didn’t want her to be hurt.

  “You look very pale, Jodie,” Margie commented when she walked her best friend to the security checkpoint. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “I’m embarrassed about how I acted last night, that’s all,” she assured her best friend. “How did you luck out with Kirry, by the way?”

  “Not too well,” she replied with a sigh. “And I think I broke all the crystal by putting it in the dishwasher.”

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to do that for you,” Jodie apologized.

  “It’s not your fault. Nothing is your fault.” Margie looked tormented. “I was going to ask you down to Lex’s birthday party next month…”

  “Margie, I can’t really face Alexander right now, okay?” she interrupted gently, and saw the relief plain on the taller woman’s face. “So I’m going to make myself scarce for a little while.”

  “That might be best,” Margie had to admit.

  Jodie smiled. “Thanks for asking me to the party,” she managed. “I had a good time.”

  That was a lie, and they both knew it.

  “I’ll make all this up to you one day, I promise I will,” Margie said unexpectedly, and hugged Jodie, hard. “I’m not much of a friend, Jodie, but I’m going to change. I am. You’ll see.”

  “I wouldn’t be much of a friend if I wanted to remake you,” Jodie replied, smiling. “I’ll see you around, Margie,” she added enigmatically, and left before Margie could ask what she meant.

  It was a short trip back to Houston. Jodie fought tears all the way. She couldn’t remember anything hurting so much in all her life. Alexander couldn’t bear the sight of her. He didn’t want her around. She made him sick. She…disgusted him.

  Most of her memories of love swirled around Alexander Cobb. She’d daydreamed about him even before she realized her feelings had deepened into love. She treasured unexpected meetings with him, she tingled just from having him smile at her. But all that had been a lie. She was a responsibility he took seriously, like his job. She meant nothing more than that to him. It was a painful realization, and it was going to take time for the hurt to lessen.

  But for the moment it was too painful to bear. She drew the air carrier’s magazine out of its pocket in the back of the seat ahead of her and settled back to read it. By the time she finished, the plane was landing. She walked through the Houston concourse with a new resolution. She was going to forget Alexander. It was time to put away the past and start fresh.

  Alexander was alone in the library when his sister came back from the airport.

  He went out into the hall to meet her. “Did she say anything to you?” he asked at once.

  Surprised by the question, and his faint anxiety, she hesitated. “About what?”

  He glowered down at her. “About why she was leaving abruptly. I know her ticket was for late this afternoon. She must have changed it.”

  “She said she was too embarrassed to face you,” Margie replied.

  “Anything else?” he persisted.

  “Not really.” She felt uneasy herself. “You know Jodie. She’s painfully shy, Lex. She doesn’t drink, ever. I guess whatever happened made her ashamed of herself and uncomfortable around you. She’ll get over it in time.”

  “Do you think so?” he wondered aloud.

  “What are you both doing down here?” Kirry asked petulantly with a yawn. She came down the staircase in a red silk gown and black silk robe and slippers, her long blond hair sweeping around her shoulders. “I feel as if I haven’t even slept. Is breakfast ready?”

  Margie started. “Well, Jessie isn’t here,” she began.

  “Where’s that little cook who was at the party last night?” she asked carelessly. “Why can’t she make breakfast?”

  “Jodie’s not a cook,” Alexander said tersely. “She’s Margie’s best friend.”

  Kirry’s eyebrows arched. “She looked like a lush to me,” Kirry said unkindly. “People like that should never drink. Is she too hung over to cook, then?”

  “She’s gone home,” Margie said, resenting Kirry’s remarks.

  “Then who’s going to make toast and coffee for me?” Kirry demanded. “I have to have breakfast.”

  “I can make toast,” Margie said, turning. She wanted Kirry’s help with her collection, but she disliked the woman intensely.

  “Then I’ll get dressed. Want to come up and do my zip, Lex?” Kirry drawled.

  “No,” he said flatly. “I’ll make coffee.” He went into the kitchen behind Margie.

  Kirry stared after him blankly. He’d never spoken to her in such a way before, and Margie had been positively rude. They shouldn’t drink, either, she was thinking as she went back upstairs to dress. Obviously it was hangovers and bad tempers all around this morning.

  Two weeks later, Jodie sat in on a meeting between Brody and an employee of their information systems section who had been rude and insulting to a fellow worker. It was Brody’s job as Human Resources Generalist to oversee personnel matters, and he was a diplomat. It gave Jodie the chance to see what sort of duties she would be expected to perform if she moved up from Human Resources Generalist to manager.

  “Mr. Koswalski, this is Ms. Clayburn, my administrative assistant. She’s here to take notes,” he added.

  Jodie was surprised, because she thought she was there to learn the job. But she smiled and pulled out her small pad and pen, perching it on her knee.

  “You’ve had a complaint about me, haven’t you?” Koswalski asked with a sigh.

  Brody’s eyebrows arched. “Well, yes…”

  “One of our executives hired a systems specialist with no practical experience in oil exploration,” Koswalski told him. “I was preparing an article for inclusion in our quarterly magazine and the system went down. She was sent to repair it. She saw my article and made some comments about the terms I used, and how unprofessional they sounded. Obviously she didn’t understand the difference between a rigger and a roughneck. When I tried to explain, she accused me of talking down to her and walked out.” He threw up his hands. “Sir, I wasn’t rude, and I wasn’t uncooperative. I was trying to teach her the language of the industry.”

  Brody looked as if he meant to say something, but he glanced at Jodie and cleared his throat instead. “You didn’t call her names, Mr. Koswalski?”

  “No, sir, I did not,”
the young man replied courteously. “But she did call me several. Besides that, quite frankly, she had a glazed look in her eyes and a red nose.” His face tautened. “Mr. Vance, I’ve seen too many people who use drugs to mistake signs of drug use. She didn’t repair the system, she made matters worse. I had to call in another specialist to undo her damage. I have his name, and his assignment,” he added, producing a slip of paper, which he handed to Brody. “I’m sorry to make a countercharge of incompetence against another employee, but my integrity is at stake.”

  Brody took the slip of paper and read the name. He looked at the younger man again. “I know this technician. He’s the best we have. He’ll confirm what you just told me?”

  “He will, Mr. Vance.”

  Brody nodded. “I’ll check with him and make some investigation of your charges. You’ll be notified when we have a resolution. Thank you, Mr. Koswalski.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Vance,” the young man replied, standing. “I enjoy my job very much. If I lose it, it should be on merit, not lies.”

  “I quite agree,” Brody replied. “Good day.”

  “Good day.” Koswalski left, very dignified.

  Brody turned to Jodie. “How would you characterize our Mr. Koswalski?”

  “He seems sincere, honest, and hardworking.”

  He nodded. “He’s here on time every morning, never takes longer than he has for lunch, does any task he’s given willingly and without protest, even if it means working late hours.”

  He picked up a file folder. “On the other hand, the systems specialist, a Ms. Burgen, has been late four out of five mornings she’s worked here. She misses work on Mondays every other week. She complains if she’s asked to do overtime, and her work is unsatisfactory.” He looked up. “Your course of action, in my place?”

  “I would fire her,” she said.

  He smiled slowly. “She has an invalid mother and a two-year-old son,” he said surprisingly. “She was fired from her last job. If she loses this one, she faces an uncertain future.”

  She bit her lower lip. It was one thing to condone firing an incompetent employee, but given the woman’s home life the decision was uncomfortable.

  “If you take my place, you’ll be required to make such recommendations. In fact, you’ll be required to make them to me,” he added. “You can’t wear your heart on your sleeve. You work for a business that depends on its income. Incompetent employees will cost us time, money, and possibly even clients. No business can exist that way for long.”

  She looked up at him with sad eyes. “It’s not a nice job, Brody.”

  He nodded. “It’s like gardening. You have to separate the weeds from the vegetables. Too many weeds, no more vegetables.”

  “I understand.” She looked at her pad. “So what will you recommend?” she added.

  “That our security section make a thorough investigation of her job performance,” he said. “If she has a drug problem that relates to it, she’ll be given the choice of counseling and treatment or separation. Unless she’s caught using drugs on the job, of course,” he added coolly. “In that case, she’ll be arrested.”

  She knew she was growing cold inside. What had sounded like a wonderful position was weighing on her like a rock.

  “Jodie, is this really what you want to do?” he asked gently, smiling. “Forgive me, but you’re not a hardhearted person, and you’re forever making excuses for people. It isn’t the mark of a manager.”

  “I’m beginning to realize that,” she said quietly. She searched his eyes. “Doesn’t it bother you, recommending that people lose their jobs?”

  “No,” he said simply. “I’m sorry for them, but not sorry enough to risk my paycheck and yours keeping them on a job they’re not qualified to perform. That’s business, Jodie.”

  “I suppose so.” She toyed with her pad. “I was a whiz with computers in business college,” she mused. “I didn’t want to be a systems specialist because I’m not mechanically-minded, but I could do anything with software.” She glanced at him. “Maybe I’m in the wrong job to begin with. Maybe I should have been a software specialist.”

  He grinned. “If you decide, eventually, that you’d like to do that, write a job description, give it to your Human Resources manager, and apply for the job,” he counseled.

  “You’re kidding!”

  “I’m not. It’s how I got my job,” he confided.

  “Well!”

  “You don’t have to fire software,” he reminded her. “And if it doesn’t work, it won’t worry your conscience to toss it out. But all this is premature. You don’t have to decide right now what you want to do. Besides,” he added with a sigh, “I may not even get that promotion I’m hoping for.”

  “You’ll get it,” she assured him. “You’re terrific at what you do, Brody.”

  “Do you really think so?” he asked, and seemed to care about her reply.

  “I certainly do.”

  He smiled. “Thanks. Cara doesn’t think much of my abilities, I’m afraid. I suppose it’s because she’s so good at marketing. She gets promotions all the time. And the travel…! She’s out of town more than she’s in, but she loves it. She was in Mexico last week and in Peru the week before that. Imagine! I’d love to go to Mexico and see Chichen Itza.” He sighed.

  “So would I. You like archaeology?” she fished.

  He grinned. “Love it. You?”

  “Oh, yes!”

  “There’s a museum exhibit of Mayan pottery at the art museum,” he said enthusiastically. “Cara hates that sort of thing. I don’t suppose you’d like to go with me to see it next Saturday?”

  Next Saturday. Alexander’s birthday. She’d mourned for the past two weeks since she’d come back from the Cobbs’ party, miserable and hurting. But she wouldn’t be invited to his birthday party, and she wouldn’t go even if she was.

  “I’d love to,” she said with a beaming smile. “But…won’t your girlfriend mind?”

  He frowned. “I don’t know.” He looked down at her. “We, uh, don’t have to advertise it, do we?”

  She understood. It was a little uncomfortable going out with a committed man, but it wasn’t as if he were married or anything. Besides, his girlfriend treated him like dirt. She wouldn’t.

  “No, we don’t,” she agreed. “I’ll look forward to it.”

  “Great!” He beamed, too. “I’ll phone you Friday night and we’ll decide where and when to meet, okay?”

  “Okay!”

  She was on a new track, a new life, and she felt like a new person. She’d started going to a retro coffeehouse in the evenings, where they served good coffee and people read poetry on stage or played folk music with guitars. Jodie fit right in with the artsy crowd. She’d even gotten up for the first time and read one of her poems, a sad one about rejected love that Alexander had inspired. Everyone applauded, even the owner, a man named Johnny. The boost of confidence she felt made her less inhibited, and the next time she read her poetry, she wasn’t afraid of the crowd. She was reborn. She was the new, improved Jodie, who could conquer the world. And now Brody wanted to date her. She was delighted.

  That feeling lasted precisely two hours. She came back in after lunch to find Alexander Cobb perched on her desk, in her small cubicle, waiting for her.

  She hadn’t had enough time to get over her disastrous last meeting with him. She wanted to turn and run, but that wasn’t going to work. He’d already spotted her.

  She walked calmly to her desk—although her heart was doing cartwheels—and put her purse in her lower desk drawer.

  “Hello, Alexander,” she said somberly. “What can I do for you?”

  Her attitude sent him reeling. Jodie had always been unsettled and full of joy when she came upon him unexpectedly. He didn’t realize how much he’d enjoyed the headlong reaction until it wasn’t there anymore.

  He stared at her across the desk, puzzled and disturbed. “What happened wasn’t anybody’s fault,” he said stiffly.
“Don’t wear yourself out regretting it.”

  She relaxed a little, but only a little. “I drank too much. I won’t do it a second time,” she assured him. “How’s Margie?”

  “Quiet,” he said. The one word was alarming. Margie was never quiet.

  “Why?” she asked.

  Shrugging, he picked up a paper clip from her desk and studied it. “She can’t get anywhere with her designs. She expected immediate success, and she can’t even get a foot in the door.”

  “I’m sorry. She’s really good.”

  He nodded and his green eyes met hers narrowly. “I need to talk to you,” he said. “Can you meet me downstairs at the coffee bar when you get off from work?”

  She didn’t want to, and it was obvious. “Couldn’t you just phone me at home?” she countered.

  He scowled. “No. I can’t discuss this over the phone.” She was still hesitating. “Do you have other plans?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “No. I don’t want to miss my bus.”

  “I can drive you…”

  “No! I mean—” she lowered her voice “—no, I won’t put you to any trouble. There are two buses. The second runs an hour after the first one.”

  “It won’t take an hour,” he assured her. But he felt as if something was missing from their conversation. She didn’t tease him, taunt him, antagonize him. In fact, she looked very much as if she wanted to avoid him altogether.

  “All right, then,” she said, sitting down at her desk. “I’ll see you there about five after five.”

  He nodded, pausing at the opening of the cubicle to look back at her. It was a bad time to remember the taste of her full, soft mouth under his. But he couldn’t help it. She was wearing a very businesslike dark suit with a pale pink blouse, her long hair up in a bun. She should have looked like a businesswoman, but she was much too vulnerable, too insecure, to give that image. She didn’t have the self-confidence to rate a higher job, but he couldn’t tell her that. Jodie had a massive inferiority complex. The least thing hurt her. As he’d hurt her.

  The muscles in his jaw tautened. “This doesn’t suit you,” he said abruptly, nodding around the sterile little glass and wood cage they kept her in. “Won’t they even let you have a potted plant?”