Chaos (Phoenix Undercover #2)

by C. A. Harms

  I had no idea how to respond to his confession. I was expecting something different. I wanted to hate him, but honestly I was over it all long ago.

  “I understand that you got scared. We all get scared of things. But I deserved to hear about your worries.” He nodded as if he completely agreed, but I didn’t give him the chance to speak before I continued. “But we can’t change the past. I’ve recently lost someone I loved, an amazing man that I miss every single day. I’ve learned that grudges shouldn’t be held. I also learned that sometimes things aren’t what they seem. So I forgive you.”

  “Excuse me?” Brook growled. “Did you forget what he did to you? How crushed you were?”

  “No,” I replied without looking away from Lance. “But he moved on, and so have I. It’s in the past. I don’t have to agree with the choices he made. But I’m not living in the past, Brook, I can’t.”

  And I couldn’t.

  Chapter 15

  Josh

  I woke to the sound of someone knocking on my door. I knew it couldn’t be Grey or Mike, because they both had a key. So as I crawled out of bed and made my way down the hall, I assumed it was Audrey, even though we hadn’t planned to meet until later today. Last night, Mike and Greyson went to check out a few locations with Audrey while I stayed hiding out in the fucking apartment. I missed real field work, and I wanted to be out there looking through the clues myself.

  At the front door, I took a moment to look through the peephole. When I saw Frank on the other side, I was shocked, but then excitement took over. Maybe he was showing up in person to tell me about a breakthrough in the case.

  “Frank, tell me you got good news,” I said as I opened the door.

  The gentle smile on his face turned into a frown, and my chest tightened. “We need to talk.” He stepped inside, and I closed the door behind him and followed him into the apartment, my heart sinking with each step. Just as quickly as hope had sprung up in me, it was replaced with anger.

  “I gave you another week, Frank. A fucking week that has turned into three.” He took a seat on the couch and watched me as I stood before him, fuming from disappointment. “I can’t keep wasting my life hiding out. You can’t ask me to. What good am I doing anyone hiding out here like some coward?”

  “I know, Josh—”

  “No, you don’t know,” I snapped. “You can’t possibly begin to imagine what this is like for me. The woman I love thinks I’m dead—the woman that is pregnant with my child. I can’t fucking live like this.” I began pacing as I gripped the back of my neck. “I want my life back!” I couldn’t take it anymore. I was losing my mind. The slow, smoldering fire within me had been ignited, and I was on the verge of exploding. “I’m fucking done, man.”

  He stood from the couch and took a step toward me. “You can’t, Josh. The lead on the whereabouts of Roman’s son may have been a dead end, but we have others.”

  “What do you mean it was a dead end?” I snapped. “You said he was willing to turn his father in. That he was willing to protect his mother and end her torture. Do you think someone forced Xavier and his mother out? Or took them?” I asked, wondering if Roman had found out and removed them before we could.

  “It doesn’t appear as if there was a struggle. Some of the neighbors reported that they saw them leaving in the early hours of the morning. They didn’t see anyone else with them.” Frank remained seated on the couch, and I began pacing once more. “Josh, we need more time. I think we’re getting close.”

  “I’m done.”

  “Josh—”

  “Don’t fucking give me shit about it, Frank. If someone ordered you to make your family believe you were dead, would you? If someone fucking told you that you couldn’t contact your wife, that you couldn’t see her, would you remain tucked away while your life went on without you?” I waited for his response, but he just stared at me as if he didn’t know what to say.

  “I’ll tell you what you would do. You’d tell them to fuck off, and you would go to those that love you. You wouldn’t stay away from Marie and you know it. So don’t you dare sit here and try to convince me otherwise.” I stepped toward the couch and placed my hands on my hips. “I’m done.”

  The look on Frank’s face told me he understood. He would just be wasting his time and mine if he tried to stop me now.

  I was finished with letting these fuckers control my decisions. It was time to take back my life.

  ***

  “Josh, is this the right move? I mean just to show up there. You’re gonna give your dad heart failure, not to mention Libby is liable to beat your ass.” Grey chuckled at that idea. “On second thought, I think I’ll enjoy seeing your sister beat the hell out of you.”

  “Yeah, what do you suggest I do otherwise? I know they’ll all be pissed off, hurt even, but they’ll eventually understand. I’m hoping their happiness at seeing me again outweighs their anger.” At least after the initial shock of seeing me.

  “Gabby’s in her office now. I honestly don’t think that would be the best place to spring this on her,” Audrey said as she tapped away at her phone, texting someone. “She said she’ll be home after five, and I promised to bring her dinner,” she added as she placed her phone into her back pocket and then looked up at me.

  “I’ll be there around five thirty,” I assured Audrey before I looked back over at Greyson. “You can go with me to my sister’s. After that, we’ll go to my dad’s.”

  He mumbled a few fucks and holy hells as he gathered his gun and phone from the coffee table. “Whatever, man, but if Libby cuts loose, I’m just stepping back to give her room. She has a mean right hook.”

  He rubbed his right cheek, and I remembered the time his mouth got a little too carried away a few weeks after I met him. My sister may be little, but she made it clear to Grey that she had no intention of having anything more than a friendship with him. The vision of my sister punching him still made me smile.

  “Yeah, asshole, I know you remember it,” Grey said as he pushed past me. “You could have warned a guy about how evil Lib actually is.”

  “As you just said not even five minutes ago, I just stepped back to give her room.”

  Mike chuckled this time, and Audrey looked at us all in question. As Grey and I left the apartment, Mike filled her in on my mean but adorable sister.

  ***

  For the entire ride to my sister’s house in Scarsdale, I sat staring out the window. It felt good to leave that shithole behind. The cool air on my face from the open window felt amazing. The weather was beginning to change, and fall had come to the city and its surrounding suburbs. Generally, I don’t pay attention to things like the vibrant leaves, but after being hidden away, they seemed so much more noticeable now.

  When Greyson slowed to a stop in front of my sister’s place, my heart began to race. I was happy to see Will’s BMW in the driveway.

  Grey was the first to climb out of the car, and after a couple deep breaths I followed. Before we could even knock, the door flew open and there stood Will with my sister at his side, both of them staring back at me as if they thought they were dreaming. Will’s face was ghostly pale, and Libby held on to his arm as if it was the only thing keeping her standing.

  “Hey, sis,” I said, and she leaped into my arms and wrapped her arms around my neck, almost suffocating me.

  “It’s really you,” she whispered as a sob ripped through her.

  “Yeah, it’s really me,” I assured her as I squeezed her tightly and lifted her so her feet were no longer touching the ground.

  I could hear Greyson and Will talking, yet I focused on my sister instead. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, and she only cried harder. “It wasn’t safe. I had to.”

  She struggled to break free of my hold, and I knew then that the quiet reunion was now over. I slowly let go as she stepped back and stared at me in confusion. “What do you mean you had to? What wasn’t safe, Josh?”

  I looked over her shoulder to find Will atte
mpting to calm his wife, but it was useless. I knew Grey was going to be no help when he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the doorframe.

  When my line of vision reconnected with Libby, I saw the anger in her eyes. “Please don’t tell me this was just all a ploy, a way to solve a case and catch another one of your bad guys.” When I didn’t answer her, she knew. “Oh my God, Josh, how could you?” She shoved my chest. I took a step back to allow her, I hoped, the space to calm down. Only she followed me, shoving me again. “We buried you!” she screamed. “I had to watch our father break as they handed him an urn that was supposed to be filled with your ashes. How could you let this all play out and let us suffer through this for months? How could you be so fucking selfish?”

  She came at me then, pounding her fists against my chest. “Do you have any idea what this has done to our father? To me? To Gabby?” Her punches faltered, and she stood frozen in front of me as I placed my hands on her shoulders. When she lifted her head and looked up at me, tears were falling down her cheeks. “Oh my God,” she whispered. “Gabby. Does she know?”

  “Not yet,” I replied, hoping she remained calmer than she was five seconds ago. “I plan to go to her place tonight.” I could tell Libby was struggling with what to say. I knew she and my father knew about the baby.

  “Has anyone—do you—?”

  “I know,” I said. Her eyes filled with tears once more, and she smiled. “Grey told me.”

  “You’re gonna be a father,” she whispered, and I nodded, smiling back at her. Without another wasted moment, I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and pulled her against my chest.

  “The hardest part about what I was forced to do was leaving you all behind. But you have to know I wouldn’t have agreed if I didn’t think it was protecting you all.” She nodded against my chest, and her body shook as she cried. “It still isn’t completely safe, but I couldn’t stay away any longer.”

  I looked up to see Will and Grey smiling back at us. My brother-in-law nodded, and I twisted my sister in my arms and led her toward the house.

  One reunion had been completed. Two more to go.

  Chapter 16

  Gabriella

  I had never been happier to leave the office than I was today. I had two cancellations and one very bitchy client. It was either the hormones or the fact I had a hard time holding on to my calm anymore, and it took everything in me not to punch Mrs. Kinley in the face. She never had anything nice to say, and she was by far the most heartless person I had ever met. My tolerance for people like her was nonexistent anymore. But by some miracle, I had made it through our appointment without telling her to walk head-on into traffic and do us all a favor. It was hard, but I managed. Now as I walked out of the elevator on the eighth floor of my building, I wanted nothing more than to take a long shower and climb into my PJs.

  As I placed my key into the lock, a deep voice from behind me caused me to jump. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  I turned around to find Lance approaching from the other end of the hall. “What are you doing here?”

  “I, uh.” He cleared his throat. “I was hoping we could talk. I followed Brook earlier and have been waiting around for you to show up. She yelled at me, threatened to kick me so hard in the nuts I’d choke on my balls, and then she slammed the door in my face. She is a whole lot scarier than I remember her being, but I wasn’t sure how else to reach you.”

  “What is there to talk about, Lance? You said all I needed to hear the other day.” I held my keys tightly in my hand and hoped this situation would quickly end.

  “I know I was wrong, Gabby. I hurt you, and I will never forgive myself for that. I just want a chance to explain better. A chance to maybe be friends.”

  I struggled with how to respond. I didn’t want to come across as a bitch, but I honestly didn’t need anything more from Lance. And as for being friends, I didn’t think that would ever be a possibility.

  “Now is not a good time. I’ve had a really long day, and I’m starving.” I tried to let him down easily.

  “I could take you to dinner.” He looked back at me hopefully.

  My stomach growled loudly, and I placed my hand over my belly. This action only made the small bump more noticeable, and I saw the moment Lance saw it.

  “Oh wow,” he said. “You’re, uh…” His eyes widened just a bit before he recovered. “You’re having a baby.”

  “Yes, I am,” I said.

  “So you’re married?” he asked, and sadness washed over me.

  But before I could answer, Audrey spoke from behind me. “Well, look who showed up. You do know that you’re a few years too late? The idea of a wedding is to show up when all the guests are waiting.”

  Lance offered a nod. “Hello, Audrey.”

  “Oh, please stop with the pleasantries. I don’t plan on being nice.” I cringed because he had already suffered Brooklyn’s wrath, and Audrey’s would be just as bad. “You’re an asshole, Lance, and the last thing I’m going to do is let Gabby be sucked back into your world of fucked-up craziness.”

  She reached around me and unlocked the door. I saw the two bags of Chinese food in her hand, and my stomach begged for it. I think I even sniffed the air. Of course she laughed when she noticed and looked back over at Lance. “I brought dinner, and unfortunately for you, food trumps your bullshit. So I’m going to take her inside and feed my little niece or nephew, and you can leave the way you came in.”

  She nudged me forward, and I offered Lance a sympathetic look. But honestly I wasn’t that sorry that Audrey had a go at him too.

  Once the door was closed and she placed the food on the counter, Audrey turned to face me. “What the hell was that tool doing here?”

  I shrugged and went straight for the bag of food. “I don’t know and I don’t care. I’m just glad you came along when you did, because I was running out of patience.”

  “When the hell did he get back to New York? Wasn’t he living in Miami or something?” she asked as she began to pull out the cartons and place them on the counter before us.

  I shrugged and mumbled around the eggroll I was currently devouring. “Not sure,” I said, placing a hand over my mouth to keep from spitting my food out. “Brook and I ran into him yesterday, and apparently he thinks he has more to say. I personally don’t care, but I was trying to be nice.”

  “Hell with being nice, Gabby. He left you the night before you were supposed to be married. He doesn’t deserve a chance to explain. Lance is an asshole.” She dared me to argue, but she was right. He was an asshole, and time couldn’t change what he’d done.

  “Lance?” Brook said as she entered the kitchen. She too went straight for the food. “Why are we talking about that dumbass?”

  “Well, because he was just outside trying to convince Gabby he wasn’t a bad guy.”

  The two of them had become overbearing since Josh died. I mean, yes, they were pains prior to that, but now it was ten times worse.

  “Listen, I don’t need the two of you running to my rescue. I’m fine. No, I don’t plan to have any type of relationship with Lance, friendship or otherwise. But it’s up to me to tell him that, not either of you.” The looks they gave me clearly stated they had no intentions of listening to me, and all I could do was roll my eyes. It was pointless. They were both unstoppable.

  When a light knock came from the door, I groaned in irritation. Audrey froze in place, as if she wasn’t sure what to do next, which I found odd. Brook, on the other hand, tossed down her fork and stormed toward the door. “This asshole is really starting to fucking piss me off.”

  I hung my head but was startled when Audrey yelled, “No, wait.” But it was too late. Brook yanked open the door, and her face went from pissed to shocked in seconds.

  “Oh my God,” she gasped while taking a step back.

  And just like that, I felt the world was moving in slow motion, as if I could hear every footstep, every breath while my heart thumped
in my ears. I watched Brooklyn stumble back and cover her mouth with her hand as a pair of black boots peeked out from behind the door. The entire room tilted, and I braced myself against the counter.

  His hair was longer, the facial hair thicker, but there he was. A man I had mourned. A man I had cried hours over as I held his picture tightly against my chest. The same man I vowed to never stop loving.

  Josh scanned the room until his gaze landed on mine and then slowly moved lower until it stopped at my stomach. I could hear someone sobbing, deep, wrenching cries, and it took a moment for me to realize they were coming from me.

  Josh was suddenly moving toward me as my tears fell heavier. I had to be dreaming. I had this dream so many times before, but it had never felt so real.

  When he got to me, he didn’t reach out, only stared back at me with equal emotion. His eyes were red and glossy, and his chest moved with big, heaving breaths, but he still didn’t touch me. So I lifted my own hand and placed it over the spot on his chest where his heart beat rapidly. The thump against my palm caused my eyes to close tightly. I just wanted to take it in. I didn’t want anything to interrupt this moment. Even if only for a few minutes, I wanted to savor the feel of him beneath my hand.

  “Baby,” he whispered, and my knees wobbled.

  When his arms finally wrapped around me and he pulled me close, I went without hesitation. How could a dream feel so real?

  “I’m here,” he said, confusing me even more. I ran my hands over him, feeling every muscle, every dip. “I’m here, Gabby, and I will never leave you again.”

  When he kissed my forehead and Brook’s crying became stronger, I pulled back and looked around. Audrey, Brook, and even Greyson watched me closely. That’s when it clicked. I wasn’t dreaming.