Once Upon the End (Half Upon a Time)

by James Riley

  “At least you’re here already, to not need my help. If I’d left you to it, your horse would get here in about three days.”

  She had a point there, not that Phillip was very interested in hearing it. He had intended to ride here, not considering that there might be a faster way. All Penelope did was sing a little melody, and a stout, black-haired fairy queen had appeared to take them. “She owes me a favor,” Penelope had whispered to him. “I once helped her rescue a wooden puppet from a whale.”

  For May’s sake, Phillip had let the fairy queen transport them right to the beach. Unfortunately, the fairy queen had not been willing to drop them in the castle, fearing Malevolent’s reprisal.

  It was just as well. No one else needed to be hurt here. Now all Phillip had to do was figure out a way to leave Penelope safely behind, and he would go on alone to face his fate.

  “I suggest a frontal assault,” Phillip whispered to Penelope, taking out his sword. “Last time I was here, a fairy queen tormented and tortured me, claiming I would one day kill her.” He glanced up at the princess. “I intend to prove her correct, if it is all the same to you. But there is no reason that you should not stay here, where you will not be hurt.”

  Penelope held up a shard of the spindle. “Or I put you to sleep right here and go do the hard work without you. Your choice.”

  Ah. With that, Phillip nodded, then strode up the thin stone bridge, the sleepless princess falling in behind him, both with weapons ready. Before them rose a dragon castle containing a small army of goblins, an evil fairy queen, and who knew what other evils.

  It would be a grand final adventure. And all he had to do was call out a challenge, then attack. On the other side, only two goblins guarded the gate, but Phillip knew ten times that many, at least, lay just beyond.

  And then, for just a moment, Phillip thought about Jack. Jack, whom he had once thought of as a friend, before things had changed. But once, if Jack had stood where Phillip did now, his friend would have said something funny, as likely as not, and Phillip would have laughed inside, even as he kept a serious expression on his face for May’s sake. Then Jack would have done something clever, potentially outwitting their foe, potentially failing miserably. Odds might have favored the latter, but Phillip always admired the attempt.

  All he had to do was call out a challenge to the goblins.

  Instead, he reached over and politely took two of Penelope’s spindle splinters from her hand. When she gave him a questioning look, he just shrugged. “This one is for an old friend,” he said, then quickly and quietly climbed one of the drawbridge’s chains.

  The chain creaked a bit, but no more than it did whenever a wind came up, and the goblins never noticed until both collapsed into one pile, snoring away.

  Goblins would be a fine last adventure, but there could be better. And better awaited him just inside the castle, in the form of a very large black dragon.

  CHAPTER 9

  Jack stared at his father, chained and caged on the ground in front of him.

  “Really, just everyone hates you, huh?” he said.

  “Everyone is a lot of people,” his father said, staring straight ahead. “I’d bet that just by numbers, that isn’t true. But who am I to say?”

  “Very clever,” Jack told him, taking his sword back from Jill.

  “You’re not the first person to tell me that.”

  “Are you two going to be done any time soon?” Jill asked.

  Jack paused a moment, taking everything in, then began the speech he’d been waiting for years to give. “Father. If I can even call you that. After all, does a real father leave behind his—”

  “We don’t have time for that,” Jill said, covering his mouth with her hand to keep him from speaking. “Your issues can wait. There’s too much you need to know. Some things have changed since I last saw you.”

  Jack looked at her and nodded, and she removed her hand. Then he turned back to his father and continued his speech. “Does a real father leave his only son to, and I’m being kind when I say this, go off and be a filthy, horrible thief? Are those the actions of a man who loves his children?”

  Jill rolled her eyes, but his father turned his gaze up at Jack. “Sounds like you’ve got a great grasp of history, don’t you, kid?”

  “A thief,” Jack repeated. “And what did your criminal activities result in? A giant rampaging through the land, killing and eating and destroying wherever it went. All for what, Father? Money? Treasure?”

  “Well, what can I say?” his father said, gesturing around his empty cage. “I just couldn’t resist all that gold I brought back here. Isn’t it pretty?”

  “Why did you do it?” Jack asked, gritting his teeth.

  “Didn’t we just cover that?” his father said, glaring at him.

  Jack hit the cage with his sword, making both ring loudly. “Answer the question!” he shouted.

  “And get in the way of all your indignation?!” his father shouted back. “I wouldn’t dream of it!”

  “HE DID IT FOR OUR MOTHER, YOU IDIOT!” Jill shouted, pushing Jack back away from the cage.

  Of all the answers Jack expected, that wasn’t at the top. Or on the list. Or even a distant possibility. “Our . . . what?” he said. “But our mother died during the war.”

  “She sure did,” his father said, back to staring straight ahead again. “Do you have any idea why they lock me up like this, boy?”

  “Stop it,” Jill said to him. “This is getting us nowhere, and we have no time. Jack, what did the Queen say she needed?”

  “Why do they lock you up like that?” Jack said quietly.

  “Because this is the only cell they’ve ever found that can hold him,” Jill said quickly. “He’s escaped from every other one.”

  “And what do you think I do when I escape?” the man said.

  “He attacks the Wicked Queen, and she almost kills him,” Jill said. “I get that this is all some sort of macho father/son thing, but does it really have to be now? There’ll be so much time later, if we can just—”

  “Why doesn’t she?” Jack asked just as softly. “Why doesn’t she just kill you?”

  Jill sighed. “Because she needs him, Jack. Just like she needs me, and like she thinks she needs you! She’s always needed our family—we do something she can’t, now that she doesn’t have her Mirror anymore!”

  “And what is that?” Jack said, his voice sounding like it was coming from a distance, certainly not from within his own body.

  His father laughed suddenly. “Of course you wouldn’t know, boy. You show no sign of using your mind, why would you know what it could do?”

  “Cleverness,” Jill said, glaring at Jack. “This stinky, chained-up man here is one of if not the sneakiest, cleverest, shrewdest person to ever live. There’s nothing he can’t figure his way out of, no one he can’t outwit. NO ONE. Which makes him a very powerful enemy . . . or a huge advantage, if you could somehow force him to make your plans for you.”

  “And why . . . why would he ever plan anything for the Queen?” Jack asked, already knowing the answer.

  His father’s gaze dropped to the floor. “Your mother . . . I never should have fallen in love with her, boy. I knew I shouldn’t. I don’t know if it was destiny or coincidence or just horrible luck, to fall in love with an Eye—”

  “An EYE—”

  “Stop it,” Jill said, slamming Jack’s dropped jaw closed again. “Yes, she was an Eye. Don’t interrupt, or we’ll never get through this.”

  “She and her brother both grew up under the Queen’s reign,” his father said. “I, of course, figured stealing something from one of the Queen’s Eyes would be a fun challenge and maybe hurt the Queen in the process. I wasn’t involved in the war, I was so young . . . but I got caught. By her. Your mother.”

  “You don’t remember her, do you?” Jill said, moving across the room to stand against the wall.

  “No,” Jack said. For some reason, he found it a bit dif
ficult to speak, like he hadn’t had a drink of water in weeks.

  “She was so smart,” Jill said without looking at him. “She could outthink Dad in a minute.”

  “And did, all the time,” Jack’s father said, almost smiling. “She certainly did when I first met her. Had me thrown in chains a lot like these before I even knew what was going on. Of course, she cheated with that sword of hers. She always cheated.”

  “Always?” Jack said.

  “Well, I was gone as soon as she turned her back,” his father said, still just a hairsbreadth away from a smile. “But no matter how far I traveled, no matter how many adventures I had, I always kept coming back. I told myself it was for the challenge. Your mother knew from the start, she told me later. Said she just waited for me to catch up because she knew I wasn’t as smart as she was.”

  “She could talk him in circles,” Jill said, still looking at the floor. “You should have seen her.”

  “Gray eyes,” his father said. “I couldn’t get them out of my head. I’d close my eyes and see hers. She was all I could think about. By then, her brother, your uncle . . . he was having a little trouble with the Queen, and ran away.” He sneered. “He deserved what he got. But your uncle put your mother in just as much danger and left her behind. So I . . . I ended up rescuing her right out from under the Queen’s nose.” Now he broke into a smile. “And we had the happiest years of my life after that.”

  “He’s saying we were born,” Jill supplied helpfully, smiling herself now. “And then, um, someone got hurt. You know, by accident.”

  “You pushed me down a hill!” Jack said indignantly.

  “You were always a fragile boy,” his father said, looking at him now. “That head of yours, especially. I’m surprised you haven’t broken it again.”

  “So at what point did you decide to steal from a giant and ruin all our lives?” Jack said, refusing to get pulled in. He’d hated this man his whole life! Just because maybe some of what he’d done hadn’t been so bad, didn’t mean—

  “The Queen found Mother,” Jill said softly. “After your accident. You were living with Grandpa by then, to heal your big stupid head, which I still think was your own fault, by the way. You should have aimed at something other than a rock when you fell down the hill. But I went to bed one night with Mom tucking me in and woke up the next morning with her gone. Dad hadn’t heard a thing. The only thing left was a blackbird cawing on the windowsill. It dropped a note for Dad and flew off.”

  “The Queen’s raven,” his father said, and Jack threw a look at Jill, who almost imperceptibly shook her head for him not to say anything. He turned back to his father as the man continued. “The note said that the Queen had your mother, and the only way we’d see her again is if I had something to trade. And along with the note—”

  “Beans,” Jack said. “So up you went.”

  “And came down with a goose that could lay golden eggs,” his father growled. “All the gold the Queen could ever need to pay for her armies and her war, and I delivered it to her. Though at least I did see your mother again.”

  Jill curled her hands into fists.

  “Her body, at least,” his father continued, his voice dead of any emotion. “The Queen had killed her, you see. To punish your uncle.”

  “You keep mentioning an uncle—” Jack said, but Jill interrupted him.

  “NO. We’re definitely not going down that road. Get back on topic!”

  “Fine,” Jack said to his father. “So here you are, still making the Queen’s plans for her. She killed our mother, and you still do what she wants?!”

  “I’ve escaped more times than I can count, but every time she brings me back she steals something from me, something precious,” his father said. “Memories. Memories of your mother.” He grabbed his head with both hands, growling in frustration. “They’re all I have left, and she pulls them right out of my head, then burns them in dragonfire. It’s as if our time together never happened. And if I don’t do as she says, she’ll take the rest, boy. She’ll take EVERYTHING from me.” He shook as he finished and stared at Jack, hatred swimming in his eyes. “So I plan for her. I scheme. I outwit her enemies, including myself. Including you.”

  “Me?” Jack said. “But you didn’t even know I was coming here—”

  “Who do you think sent Jill? Who do you think had her help you, under the sea, in the Fairy Homelands? Even while I came up with the Queen’s plan to destroy the fairy queens, I made sure Jill could save them, through you. And the Queen knows, Jack! It’s all a game to her! She tortures me here, making me plan her horrible tasks, then watches as I desperately try to stop them from happening! And she must know why you’re here as well, because she had me outwit you from the start!”

  Jack started to say something, then stopped. His father might be right . . . or he might be wrong. There were things that Jack knew that no one else did, and right now, it seemed smart to keep those things secret. “So you’re fighting against the Wicked Queen, while also her chief strategist. You’re coming up with plans, then plans to stop your plans, then plans to stop those? Is that even close?”

  “Close, but not the end of it,” Jill said. “You and me, brother. WE have to be the end of it. You’ve met our father, and you know what’s happening now, why no one’s been able to defeat the Queen, either in battle or by tricking her. We’re going up against the most clever person to ever live. And now, you and I have to outwit him.”

  “Except I’m supposed to be stealing something else from the giant in the clouds,” Jack said.

  “Ah, the harp?” his father said. “Wondered when she’d try for that. You’ll need my help to accomplish that task. You’re nowhere close to smart enough. Jill is, of course. But that’s probably why the Queen is sending you.”

  “Well . . . that’s just insulting, first of all,” Jack said.

  “The truth insults you a lot, doesn’t it?” Jill said, not unkindly.

  “Yes, but now’s not the time,” Jack told her. “So, what do I need to know?”

  “Three things,” his father told him. “First, don’t underestimate this giant. The giants on land might be stupid, but this one . . . he’s their king or lord or something. I was never quite clear on that. Either way, that giant brain of his isn’t just for decoration.”

  “So he’s smart. Next?”

  “It was nice knowing you,” Jill told him, shaking her head.

  “Second,” Jack’s father said, shaking his head too, “you’re going to be the size of a mouse to him, so take advantage of that. You’ll be faster and quieter than you might ordinarily expect and have a lot more places to hide. Use it. If he never knows you’ve been there, you might have a chance.”

  “These really are helpful,” Jack said. “Hide, huh? Try not to let him know I’m there? Brilliant.”

  “And third,” his father said, “when he catches you, as I’ve already figured out he will, you must under no circumstances, never ever EVER let him follow you when you leave. The only reason he didn’t destroy everything in his path is because I had to trick him back up.”

  “YOU tricked him?” Jack said. “I thought Phillip’s father died trying to kill him!”

  “There’s quite a bit more to that story than you know,” his father told him. “But there’s no time for that.”

  “We’ll finish that, and more than a few other things, when I get back,” Jack told him.

  “You mean if you get back,” Jill supplied helpfully.

  “Stop it,” he told her. “Did you get what I asked you for, by the way?”

  She nodded, and tossed him something in a bag. “Not sure why you’ll need it or anything. Won’t exactly help much if the giant eats you, but whatever. You wanted a strong healing potion, I got you one. The Draught of Irrational Bodily Repair, if you want to get specific.”

  “And this is the same sort of thing that was used on that knife I told you about?” Jack asked her.

  “That or something close,” s
he told him.

  Jack gritted his teeth but let it go. He couldn’t ask anything more without explaining himself, and right now, he couldn’t tell anyone anything.

  “I’m going to ignore all this,” his father said. “But that’s not all Jill has for you, I’m guessing.”

  Jill sighed. “You really are way too smart,” she told the man, then reached back into her hood. A golden fairy yawned, stretched, then stepped into her hand. “Sleepy time is over?” Gwentell the fairy asked. “Fine. It’s about time you finished all your testing, stupid man-child. Can we go steal from a giant already?”

  CHAPTER 10

  They would be too late at this rate. Whatever the evil fairy queen intended to do to Princess May, she would have done it by the time they reached her.

  Phillip sidestepped a goblin sword, then swung down and backhanded the creature with his own sword. Not killing the monsters added a level of difficulty to the task, but for all he knew, the goblins had no choice in the matter, controlled as they most likely were by Malevolent. And if nothing else, he could sympathize with having no control in matters of one’s own life.

  Behind him, Penelope seemed incapable of being hit, continually moving as the goblins attacked, almost swimming gracefully upstream against a goblin river. Phillip tried to keep an eye on her whenever he could, but keeping an eye on the girl was harder than he would have thought: She was never in the same place twice. Yet she did not move as quickly as an Eye . . . she just seemed to anticipate where the goblins meant to strike, as if she were aware of everything they meant to do.

  Aware, and yet half-asleep. An odd combination, but it seemed to work extremely well.

  “DIE!” the goblin in front of Phillip yelled, yanking the prince’s attention back to the front.

  “Not just yet,” the prince told him, driving the hilt of his sword into the creature’s forehead. The goblin’s eyes crossed, and it dropped to the floor, on top of two already-unconscious goblins.

  “Can I suggest something?” Penelope asked, ducking under a sword that otherwise would have taken her head off, then continuing the motion to sweep a leg around and knock her attacker off its feet. “Maybe we could find a different way to go that might have less goblins?”