Once Upon the End (Half Upon a Time)

by James Riley

  “And Snow White . . . she found out as well, as the Mirror warned me she would,” the Queen said. “I sometimes wonder if she would have bothered if I hadn’t ordered my stepdaughter’s death in the first place. Again, that was my weakness. I could not do the deed myself, as too much of my former self still lived. Sometimes we fulfill our own prophecies, I suppose.”

  “Snow White knew?” May said.

  “Not that she can tell,” the Queen said with a smile. “She will never awaken from my poison. The one cure for that died long ago.”

  “The Charmed One,” May said, and suddenly things began to fall into place.

  The Queen gestured again, and the library disappeared, replaced by a smaller room with maps all over the walls and tables. On the right side of the map (she would have said east, but who knew in this world what direction was what) were the occupied lands, with little statues of goblins, ogres, trolls, and other assorted monsters representing the Queen’s armies, all staked out around the lands.

  On the other side were the free kingdoms, and May recognized a few different places: Giant’s Hand, the village she’d first appeared in; the Black Forest, where they’d found the Wolf King; Phillip’s kingdom, which they’d visited shortly after releasing the Queen from the Palace of the Snow Queen; Bluebeard’s kingdom on the shore; even Malevolent’s castle. But there were far more kingdoms that she’d never seen and probably wouldn’t ever at this point. And all those kingdoms had little figurines of men and women with swords, apparently representing the armies of those who remained.

  “What do you see?” the Queen asked her.

  May looked at the map, then at the Queen. “A bunch of toys. Why, did you want me to play too?”

  The Queen smiled. “Be my guest.”

  May carefully chose a few human figures with swords, then smashed them into the castle marked Capitol, the Queen’s kingdom. She swept away all the monster figurines with her arm, then knocked the entire table over.

  A moment later, everything was just as it was and May slammed into the castle wall hard enough to knock the breath out of her.

  “Let me show you what I intend,” the Queen told her, lightning playing in her eyes. She gestured, and tiny portals opened over every goblin, ogre, troll, and monster figurine. Each one disappeared, then popped back into existence all over the map. No, not all over . . . in the free kingdoms.

  Within the city and castle walls.

  “It honestly isn’t very complicated,” the Queen told her. “The fairy queens are the only ones who could have stopped me from using magic to invade every single free kingdom at once. But my little Eye’s last task for me ensured that the fairy queens won’t be a concern, no matter how hard you worked to save them.”

  “What . . . do you mean?” May said, gasping for air. Whatever held her up on the wall also made it difficult to breathe.

  “Fairy queens use music to perform their magic,” the Queen told her. “Always seemed like a weakness to me. After all, it doesn’t take much to throw a song off harmony.”

  “That . . . harp thing?” May said.

  The Queen nodded. “Not the most powerful magic, I’ll grant you. But sometimes a pebble is enough to start an avalanche. And as soon as the fairy queens try to stop me, I’ll turn their music into something they never imagined.”

  The kingdoms on the left side of the map burst into flame, one by one. May thought she could even hear screams coming from the map, and cries of victory by the various monsters.

  And the biggest monster of all just smiled. “You see what is to come. But I am not without consideration for what you once meant to me. Join me, May. Join me and rule this world as my heir, the future queen. You think you’ve known these people all your life through the stories you were told as a child. But those stories lied, May.” She made a fist. “Snow White does not come back to life. The Wicked Queen does not die. And Cinderella . . . I offer her an entire world instead of a prince.”

  “And what . . . if I say . . . no?”

  The Queen frowned. “Then you will be made into a lesson and put to death for all the world to see as I invade the remaining kingdoms in seven days’ time.”

  “Why wait?” May gasped. “Why not just do it now?”

  The Queen gave her a curious look. “I can’t reveal all my secrets, can I? Let us just say that Phillip isn’t quite through helping me yet.”

  “They’ll fight back,” May said, the room starting to swim before her eyes. “The people . . . they’ll fight. They’ll . . . beat you. Evil always . . . loses to good!”

  The Queen laughed. “Oh, my darling May. You’ve read far too many fairy tales.”

  CHAPTER 28

  The metal beast roared to a stop, screeching its feet with a high-pitched squeal that rivaled its scream. And then, terrifyingly, a person poked their head out the side of the monster and shouted at Jack.

  “What are you doing?” the apparently half-eaten person screamed. “Get out of the road!”

  Something yanked Jack to his feet and out of the path of the metal beast. Horribly, the beast’s translucent upper body revealed that it hadn’t just eaten the one angry man, but a confused woman as well. Anger and confusion both seemed pretty legitimate feelings for having been eaten, so Jack forgave the yelling, wondering if he should try to help them escape, considering they hadn’t been digested yet.

  A woman pulled him from the stone road and onto another, less wide and differently colored stone road on the side, where a growing mob of people watched.

  “Are you okay?” the woman asked him, holding his shoulders and staring into his face. “Did you get hit?”

  Jack shook his head. “No, I’m okay.” The metal beast that had attacked him had wandered away, and he noticed for the first time that the entire road was full of meandering metal beasts, all full of humans being digested.

  Odd.

  “You look so pale, though,” the woman said, frowning in worry.

  “Oh, I was dead a few hours ago,” Jack told her. “Or pretty close. It’s been a strange day.”

  “Call 911,” the woman told a short, pudgy man in black clothes with thin white stripes. “I think he’s delirious.” She pointed at his armor. “Maybe he wandered away from a Renaissance Faire. Probably got hit in the head with a mace or something.”

  The man in the black clothes with thin white stripes pulled a small card out and began to push at it with a pudgy finger. The card made odd noises, and the man lifted it to his ear and began talking softly. Maybe the card was numbered 911 of a thousand? “I really am fine,” Jack said, “but I could use some help. I’m looking for a girl named May. I’m not entirely sure where I am. Or where she is.”

  “What’s her name?” the woman asked, turning Jack’s head back toward her.

  “. . . May,” he said for the second time.

  “I mean her last name.”

  “Her last name? She’s only had one as far as I know. Do you switch names a lot here?”

  “No, her second name, her last . . . May what?”

  “May, a girl I know,” Jack said, getting irritated with this whole thing.

  “I give up,” she said, taking his hand and pulling him to some nearby grass. “Just have a seat. The cops will be here soon, and they’ll figure things out.”

  Jack reluctantly sat down on the grass, not sure what cops were, but hoping they’d at the very least not make him repeat names over and over.

  A black and white metal beast with crazy red eyes on its back came running down the street, screaming its high-pitched squeal, then screeched to a stop right in front of Jack. A man and woman dressed entirely in black opened the beast up—which practically turned Jack’s stomach—then closed it again and walked over.

  “What happened here?” the woman in black said.

  “I think he’s from a Renaissance Faire,” the woman said. “He almost got hit by a car. Something’s wrong with his head.”

  “Are you okay?” the man in black asked.


  “I’m from another world,” Jack told them. “My clothes look a little odd to you, I guess. But I’m just looking for a friend of mine. Her name’s May. Can you help me find her?”

  The man in black looked at the woman in black, and a moment later, Jack found himself being shoved into the metal beast’s stomach. Surprisingly comfortable as it was, he waited for the two “cops” to walk away, then tried to open the beast back up and run, only he couldn’t figure out how.

  “We’re going to take you to the hospital and call your parents,” the woman in black told him as she opened a separate part of the monster. “What’s your name?”

  “Jack,” he told her.

  “Last name?”

  “It’s always been Jack.”

  She turned and looked at him. “LAST. NAME?”

  Okay, seriously, was this some kind of horrible torture?

  And then he remembered something May had said once, something that he hadn’t even thought about at the time, but now—

  “Winterborne,” he said. “That’s my, uh, last name.” She’d called her grandmother Eudora Winterborne. Two names.

  “What’s your address?”

  “I, um, can’t remember, I’m too delirious.”

  The woman glared at him again, but pushed on something toward the front of the monster that had letters on it, like the monster had swallowed a book. “I’ve got a Eudora Winterborne—”

  “That’s HER!” Jack yelled. “That’s my, uh, grandmother. She’s taking care of me.”

  “Those Renaissance Faires can be nasty business,” the woman in black told the man in black. “Kid probably got smacked in the head with a mace.”

  The monster ran on, as other metal creatures ran out in front and behind it, each one with at least one person inside it, slowly digesting. At least Jack knew that he could survive it as long as he got out quickly enough. He shifted back and forth, trying to keep anything from eating away at him while he waited for them to reach wherever it was that the cops were taking him.

  As it turned out, it was to a large white building with giant white metal monsters waiting in front of it.

  “Your grandmother isn’t home,” the woman said, dropping a small card like the pudgy man had talked into. “It isn’t far, though . . . just over on Hough Street.” Jack repeated the strange name to himself as she and the man opened the monster and stepped out, then opened the creature for Jack to get out too.

  “What are you doing out of school, anyway?” the man in black asked him.

  School. Would that be where May was now?

  “I escaped,” Jack told him. “You should take me back. It’s only fair. I need to be punished, and I’m sure the school wants to do it.”

  The man looked at him oddly. “Maybe after we make sure you’re healthy.”

  Two men in white came out and led Jack inside.

  And that’s when the torture began. Men and women in white asked him insane questions, stuck him with impossibly long and fat needles, and forced him through all sorts of demeaning and, frankly, pretty chilly tests.

  Two hours later, Jack ran through the front doors, his armor in a bag on his back, wearing a T-shirt that said COOK COUNTY HOSPITAL; a pair of extremely baggy blue pants, tied at the waist; and new shoes that had belonged to someone named “Donation,” apparently.

  Odd names, here in Punk.

  Behind him, the men and women in white screamed his name and ran after him, but he didn’t stop. The man and woman in black had left, which was good . . . he couldn’t take another nauseating ride in a metal monster.

  Instead, he ran off in the general direction an unsuspecting nurse had pointed when he’d asked for the nearest school. May would be there, and if not . . . there was always Hough Street.

  Either way, he had one last thing to steal.

  CHAPTER 29

  May closed her eyes, knowing this was the end. It’d been a good run, but her grandmother was going to kill her.

  “It’s not that bad,” Jacqueline told her, taking the pop quiz out of her hand.

  “You could totally just change that C to a . . . well, no, you’re stuck,” Moira said, grabbing the paper from Jacqueline, then shrugging. “What’d she say last time?”

  “One more C, and I’m grounded until my grandchildren graduate college,” May said. “The joke’s on her, though. My grandkids are going to be geniuses and go to college at, like, age four.”

  “That’ll teach her,” Moira said, nodding. “Or you could just not show her.”

  May shivered. “She’ll know. She always knows. Everything. Doesn’t matter. I can’t hide anything from that woman. It’s like she can read my mind or something.”

  Some guy walked by them whom May hadn’t seen before, and threw a look her way, then a second one. She frowned. New student? As Moira and Jacqueline kept offering suggestions, May watched as the new guy went up to a locker and started to fiddle with the lock, then looked at her again, then quickly looked away. He seemed to be wearing scrubs from a hospital, and he carried a very large, very clanky bag.

  “Then, I’d take the ashes of the burnt test and burn those,” Jacqueline was saying, but Moira stopped her.

  “Why is that guy staring at you?” Moira whispered to May.

  “I don’t know,” May whispered back. “Why are we whispering.”

  “Because he might be listening.”

  “From down the hall?”

  “You understand how listening works? We make sounds with our mouths, and those sounds travel through air. Since there’s air between here and there, it’s possible that those sounds will actually reach his ears, even down the hall. It’s complicated, so I get that you haven’t figured it out yet.”

  May nodded absently. “Totally. What do you think he wants?”

  Jacqueline frowned. “It looks like to get in his locker. Apparently, he doesn’t want it bad enough, though. Maybe that’s where he’s keeping his actual pants.”

  She was right, the guy seemed to be twisting the knob over and over in one direction, like he had never seen a lock before.

  Eh, why not? “Hey, they not have locks where you’re from?” May said loud enough for the guy to hear her. “You need help or something?”

  The boy looked up and blushed deeply. “I’m, uh, new here.”

  “I couldn’t tell,” May said, instantly feeling bad for him. “What’s your combination?”

  “My . . . what?”

  “The numbers. They gave you in the office. Three numbers.”

  He blushed again. “I should go. I didn’t, um, get numbers. I’ll go ask them . . . where did you say?”

  May pointed back toward the office, still staring at the boy. “You want me to take you there?”

  He kept playing with the lock as if he might luck into the right numbers. “You don’t need to be so nice. It’s . . . odd.”

  May gave him a strange look. “What a normal thing to say. Well, good luck with making friends, what with your completely friendly outlook and all.” With that, she turned around and walked back to Moira and Jacqueline. The next strange boy she met, she was going to insult straightaway. Apparently, that was what they expected.

  “Weird,” Jacqueline said. “He keeps looking over here.”

  May grabbed both of their arms and led them away, shaking her head. “Let’s ignore the creepy boy and figure out a way for me to stay alive, how about that? You know what I need? A distraction.”

  Moira stopped, and gave May an evil look, grabbing a lock of her hair. “You know what would distract her from your test? Jacquie, you got any more of that blue hair dye?”

  May’s eyes widened, and she shook her head, stepping away from both girls. “NO.”

  Jacqueline and Moira both grinned evilly at her, and she took another step back. “NO!”

  “YES!” they said, and grabbed her arms, dragging her toward the door.

  As they led her out, chatting about where to put it and how blue to make it, May threw one las
t look over her shoulder. Maybe the strange, annoying boy would distract them, and she could make a run for it.

  But the boy was gone, which was just as well. She didn’t need help saving herself. If Jacqueline and Moira thought they could get away with this, they had another thing coming. And that other thing would be blue dye all over their hair too.

  And with that, May grabbed the other girls and led them out the door.

  CHAPTER 30

  WHAT WAS HE DOING?! Jack had no idea how time worked, or how he could possibly be meeting May before he actually met May, or if that would change things when he DID meet May when she fell through the fire circle into his village.

  He pushed his back against the wall, his heart racing. And to talk to her?! There was no reason to take the chance!

  Not to mention the knob on the metal door with the numbers. Could he have looked stupider? Probably not, and that was saying something!

  Another kid walked past him, giving him an odd look, and Jack realized he looked incredibly suspicious, especially with his bag full of extremely loud armor, so he coughed, shrugged, then pushed through doors made of glass into a room across from where he’d been standing, a room where other students in this enormous school seemed to be gathering.

  The smell hit him first—slightly musty, slightly papery. And then he realized that this wasn’t just a room. This was a room filled with books. FILLED with books. More books than he’d ever seen in his life, multiplied by about a thousand.

  “Oh, wow,” he said, stopping in place.

  Then the doors of glass hit him in the behind as another student pushed in, and Jack decided that maybe the entrance to whatever this was might not be the best place to stand. Instead, he dove in, wandering between shelves absolutely filled with books.

  “Can I help you find anything?” asked an older woman with a friendly face.

  Jack opened his mouth, then realized he had no idea what to say. What kind of book could he ask about? He had no idea what any of them were!