Dragon Quest

by Anne McCaffrey

  "But, but ... "

  "Yes, it is!" Felessan agreed sagely. "You should've heard F'lar and F'nor." His eyes widened to double their normal size. "It was Lessa, my mother, who said what they ought to do. Make Brekke re-Impress. She was too good, Lessa said, to live half-dead."

  Both boys glanced guiltily toward Lytol.

  "Do they, do they think she can re-Impress?" asked Jaxom, staring at the stern profile of his guardian and wondering.

  Felessan shrugged. "We'll know soon. Here they come."

  And sure enough, out of the black maw of the upper tunnel, flew bronze dragons in such rapid succession that they seemed nose to tail.

  "There's Talina!" Jaxom exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "There's Talina, Lytol," and he crossed to pull at his guardian's arm. Lytol wouldn't have noticed either Jaxom's importunities or Talina's entrance. The man had eyes only for the girl entering from the Ground level. Two figures, a man and a woman, stood by the wide opening, as if they could accompany her this far, no further.

  "That's Brekke all right," Felessan said in a hushed tone as he slid beside Jaxom.

  She stumbled slightly, halted, seeming impervious to the uncomfortably hot sands. She straightened her shoulders and slowly walked across to join the five girls who wailed near the golden egg. She stopped by Talina, who turned and gestured for the newcomer to take a place in the loose semi-circle about the queen egg.

  The humming stopped. In the sudden, unquiet silence, the faint crack of a shell was clearly audible, followed by the pop and shatter of others.

  The dragonets, glistening, awkward, ugly young things, began to flop from their casings, squawking, crooning, their wedge-shaped heads too big for the thin, sinuous necks. The young boys stood very still, their bodies tense with the mental efforts of attracting the dragonets to them.

  The first was free of its encumbrance, staggering beyond the nearest boy who jumped adroitly out of its way. It fell, nose first at the feet of a tall black-haired lad. The boy knelt, helped the dragonet balance on his shaky feet, looked into the rainbow eyes. Jaxom saw Lytol close his, and saw the fact of Lytol's terrible loss engraved on the man's gray face, as much of a torture now as the day his Larth had died of phosphine burns.

  "Look," Jaxom cried, "the queen egg. It's rocking. Oh, how I wish ..."

  Then he couldn't go on without compromising himself in his friend's good opinion. For much as he wanted Talina to Impress which would mean three living Ruathan-bred Weyrwomen, he knew that Felessan was betting on Brekke.

  Felessan was so intensely involved in the scene below that he hadn't been aware of Jaxom's unfinished phrase.

  The golden shell cracked suddenly, right down the center, and its inmate, with a raucous protest, fell to the sand on her back. Talina and two others moved forward quickly, trying to help the little creature right herself. The queen was no sooner on all four legs than the girls stepped back, almost as if they could not press their claim, by mutual consent leaving the first opportunity to Brekke.

  She was oblivious. To Jaxom, it seemed she didn't care. She seemed limp, broken, pathetic, listing to one side. A dragon crooned softly and she shook her head as if only then aware of her surroundings.

  The queen's head turned to Brekke, the glistening eyes enormous in the outsized skull. The queen lurched forward a step.

  At that moment a small blur of bronze streaked across the hatching Ground. With defiant screams, a fire lizard hung just above the queen's head. So close, in fact, that the little queen reared back with a startled shriek and bit at the air, instinctively spreading her wings as protection for her vulnerable eyes.

  Dragons protested from their ledges. Talina interposed her body between the queen and her small attacker.

  "Berd! Don't!" Brekke moved forward, arm extended to capture the irate bronze. The little queen cried out in protest, hiding her face in Talina's skirts. The two women faced one another, their bodies tense, wary.

  Then Talina stretched her hand out to Brekke, smiling. Her pose lasted only a moment for the queen butted her legs peremptorily. Talina knelt, arms reassuringly about the dragonet. Brekke turned, no longer a statue immobilized by grief, and retraced her steps to the figures waiting at the entrance. All the time, the little bronze fire lizard whirred around her head, emitting sounds that ranged from scolding to entreaty. The racket sounded so like the cook at Ruatha Hold at dinnertime that Jaxom grinned.

  "She didn't want the queen," Felessan said, stunned. "She didn't try!"

  "That fire lizard wouldn't let her," Jaxom said, wondering why he was defending Brekke.

  "It would be wrong, terribly wrong for her to succeed," Lytol said in a dead voice. He seemed to shrink in on himself, his shoulders sagging, his hands dangling limply between his knees.

  Some of the newly Impressed boys were beginning to lead their beasts from the Ground. Jaxom turned back, afraid to miss anything. It was all happening much too quickly. It'd be over in a few minutes.

  "Didja see, Jaxom?" Felessan was saying, pulling at his sleeve. "Didja see? Birto got a bronze and Pellomar only Impressed a green. Dragons don't like bullies and Pellomar's been the biggest bully in the Weyr. Good for you, Birto!" Felessan cheered his friend.

  "The littlest egg hasn't cracked yet," Jaxom said, nudging Felessan and pointing. "Shouldn't it be hatching?"

  Lytol frowned, roused by the anxiety in his ward's voice.

  "They were saying it probably wouldn't hatch," Felessan reminded Jaxom, far more interested in seeing what dragons his friends had Impressed.

  "But what if it doesn't hatch? Can't someone break it and help the poor dragon out? The way a birthing woman does when the baby won't come?"

  Lytol whirled on Jaxom, his face suffused with anger.

  "What would a boy your age know of birthing?"

  "I know about mine," Jaxom replied stoutly, jerking his chin up. "I nearly died. Lessa told me so and she was there. Can a dragonet die?"

  "Yes," Lytol admitted heavily because he never lied to the boy. "They can die and better so if the embryo is misformed."

  Jaxom looked at his body quickly although he knew perfectly well he was as he should be; in fact, more developed than some of the other Hold boys.

  "I've seen eggs that never hatched. Who needs to live, crippled?"

  "Well, that egg's alive," Jaxom said. "Look at it rocking right now "

  "You're right. It's moving. But it isn't cracking," Felessan said.

  "Then why is everyone leaving?" Jaxom demanded suddenly, jumping to his feet. For there was no one anywhere near the wobbling small egg.

  The Ground was busy with riders urging their beasts down to help the weyrlings, or to escort guests of the Weyr back to their Holds. Most of the bronzes, of course, had gone with the new queen. Vast as the Hatching Ground was, its volume shrank with so many huge beasts around. Yet not even the disappointed candidates spared any interest for that one small remaining egg.

  "There's F'lar. He ought to be told, Lytol. Please!"

  "He knows," Lytol said, for F'lar had beckoned several of the brown riders to him and they were looking toward the little egg.

  "Go, Lytol. Make them help it!"

  "Small eggs can occur in any queen's laying life," Lytol said "This is not my concern. Nor yours."

  He turned and began to make his way toward the steps, plainly certain that the boys would follow.

  "But they're not doing anything," Jaxom muttered, rebelliously,

  Felessan gave him a helpless shrug. "C'mon. We'll be eating soon at this rate. And there's all kinds of special things tonight." He trotted after Lytol.

  Jaxom looked back at the egg, now wildly rocking. "It just isn't fair! They don't care what happens to you. They care about that Brekke, but not you. Come on, egg. Crack your shell! Show 'em. One good crack and I'll bet they'll do something!"

  Jaxom had edged along the tier until he was just over the little egg. It was rocking in time with his urgings now, but there was no one within a dragonlength. There
was something frenzied about the way it rocked, too, that made Jaxom think the dragonet was desperate for help.

  Without thinking, Jaxom swung over the wall and let himself drop to the sands. He could now see the minute striations on the shell, he could hear the frantic tapping within, observe the fissures spreading. As he touched the shell, it seemed like rock to him, it was so hard. No longer leathery as it had been the day of their escapade.

  "No one else'll help you. I will!" he cried and kicked the shell.

  A crack appeared. Two more stout blows and the crack widened. A piteous cry inside was followed by the bright tip of the dragonet's nose, which battered at the tough shell.

  "You want to get born. Just like me. All you need is a little help, same as me," Jaxom was crying, pounding at the crack with his fists. Thick pieces fell off, far heavier than the discarded shells of the other hatchlings.

  "Jaxom, what are you doing?" someone yelled at him but it was too late.

  The thick inner membrane was visible now and this was what had been impeding the dragonet's emergence. Jaxom ripped the slippery stuff open with his belt knife and, from the sac, fell a tiny white body, not much larger than Jaxom's torso. Instinctively Jaxom reached out, helping the back-stranded creature to its feet.

  Before F'lar or anyone could intervene, the white dragon had raised adoring eyes to the Lord of Ruatha Hold and Impression had been made.

  Completely oblivious to the dilemma he had just originated, the incredulous Jaxom turned to the stunned observers.

  "He says his name is Ruth!"

  Chapter 15

  It had been like coming up out of the very bowels of the deepest hold, thought Brekke. And Berd had shown her the way. She shuddered again at the horror of memory. If she slipped back down ...

  Instantly she felt F'nor's hand tighten on her arm, felt the touch of Canth's thoughts and heard the chitter of the two fire lizards.

  Berd had led her out of the Ground to F'nor and Manora. She'd been surprised at how tired and sad they both looked. She'd tried to talk but they'd hushed her. F'nor had carried her up to his weyr. She smiled now, opening her eyes, to see him bending over her. Brekke put her hand up to the dear, worried face of her lover; she could say that now, her lover, her Weyrmate, for he was that, too. Deep lines from the high-bridged nose pulled F'nor's mouth down at the corners. His eyes were darkly smudged and bloodshot, his hair, usually combed in crisp clean waves back from his high forehead, was stringy, oily.

  "You need cozening, love," she said in a low voice which cracked and didn't seem to be hers at all.

  With a groan that was close to a sob, F'nor embraced her. At first as if he were afraid of hurting her. Then, when he felt her arms tightening around him, for it was good to feel his strong back under her seeking hands, he almost crushed her until she cried out gladly for him to be careful.

  He buried his lips in her hair, against her throat, in a surfeit of loving relief.

  "We thought we'd lost you, too, Brekke," he said over and over while Canth crooned an exuberant descant.

  "It was in my mind," Brekke admitted in a tremulous voice, burrowing against his chest, as if she must get even closer to him. "I was trapped in my mind and didn't own my body. I think that's what was wrong with me. Oh, F'nor," and all the grief that she'd not been able to express before came bursting out of her, "I even hated Canth!"

  The tears poured down her cheeks and shuddering sobs shook a body already weakened by fasting. F'nor held her to him, patting her shoulders, stroking her until he began to fear that the convulsions would tear her apart. He beckoned urgently to Manora.

  "She's got to cry, F'nor. It'll be an easing for her."

  Manora's anxious expression, the way she folded and unfolded her hands, was strangely reassuring to F'nor. She, too, cared about Brekke, cared enough to let concern pierce that imperturbable serenity. He'd been so grateful to Manora for opposing a re-Impression, though he doubted his blood mother knew why he'd be against it. Or perhaps she did. Manora in her calm detachment missed few nuances or evasions.

  Brekke's frail body was trembling violently now, torn apart by the paroxysm of her grief. The fire lizards took to fluttering anxiously and Canth's croon held on a distressed note. Brekke's hands opened and closed pathetically on his shoulders but the tearing sobs did not permit her to speak.

  "She can't stop, Manora. She can't."

  "Slap her."

  "Slap her?"

  "Yes, slap her," and Manora suited actions to words, fetching Brekke several sharp blows before F'nor could shield her face. "Now into the bathing pool with her. The water's warm enough to relax those muscles."

  "You didn't have to slap her," F'nor said, angrily.

  "She did, she did," said Brekke in a ragged gasp, shuddering as they bundled her into the warm pool water. Then she felt the heat penetrate and relax muscles knotted by racking sobs. As soon as she felt Brekke's body easing, Manora dried her with warmed towels and gestured for F'nor to tuck her back under the furs.

  "She needs feeding up now, F'nor. And so do you," she said, looking sternly at him. "And you are to kindly remember that you've duties to others tonight. It's Impression Day."

  F'nor snorted at Manora's reminder and saw Brekke smiling wanly up at him.

  "I don't think you've left me at all since ..."

  "Canth and I needed to be with you, Brekke," he cut in when she faltered. He smoothed her hair back from her forehead as if such an action were the most important occupation in the world. She caught his hand and he looked into her eyes.

  "I felt you there, both of you, even when I wanted most to die." Then she felt anger in her guts. "But how could you force me onto the Hatching Ground, to face another queen?"

  Canth grumbled a protest. She could see the dragon through the uncurtained archway, his head turned toward her, his eyes flashing a little. She was startled by the unhealthy green tinge to his color.

  "We didn't want to. That was F'lar's idea. And Lessa's. They thought it might work and they were afraid we'd lose you."

  The empty ache she tried not to remember threatened to become a hole down which she must go if only to end that tearing, burning pain of loss.

  "No," cried Canth.

  Two warm lizard bodies pressed urgently against her neck and face, affection and worry so palpable in their thoughts it was like a physical touch.

  "Brekke!" The terror, the yearning, the desperation in F'nor's cry were louder than the inner roaring and pushed it back, dispersed its threat.

  "Never leave me! Never leave me alone. I can't stand being alone even for a second," Brekke cried.

  "I am here," said Canth, as F'nor's arms folded hard around her. The two lizards echoed the brown's words, the sound of their thoughts strengthening as their resolve grew. Brekke clung to the surprise of their maturity as a weapon against that other terrible pain.

  "Why, Grall and Berd care," she said.

  "Of course they care." F'nor seemed almost angry that she'd doubt it.

  "No, I mean, they say they care."

  F'nor looked into her eyes, his embrace less fiercely possessive. "Yes, they're learning because they love."

  "Oh, F'nor, if I hadn't Impressed Berd that day, what would have happened to me?"

  F'nor didn't answer. He held her against him in loving silence until Mirrim, her lizards flying in joyous circles around her, came briskly into the weyr, carrying a well-laden tray.

  "Manora had to attend to the seasoning, Brekke," the girl said in a didactic tone. "You know how fussy she is. But you are to eat every bit of this broth, and you've a potion to drink for sleeping. A good night's rest and you'll be feeling more yourself."

  Brekke stared at the young girl, watching in a sort of bemusement while Mirrim deftly pushed F'nor out of her way, settled pillows behind her patient, a napkin at her throat, and began to spoon the rich wherry broth to Brekke's unprotesting lips.

  "You can stop staring at me, F'nor of Benden," Mirrim said, "and start eating the
food I brought you before it gets cold. I carved you a portion of spiced wherry from the breast, so don't waste prime servings."

  F'nor rose obediently, a smile on his face, recognizing the child's mannerisms as a blend of Manora and Brekke.

  To her own surprise, Brekke found the broth delicious, warming her aching stomach and somehow satisfying a craving she hadn't recognized until now. Obediently she drank the sleeping potion, though the fellis juice did not entirely mask the bitter after taste.

  "Now, F'nor, are you going to let poor Canth waste away to a watch-wher?" Mirrim asked as she began to settle Brekke for the night. "He's a sorry shade for a brown."

  "He did eat, " F'nor began contritely.

  "Ha!" Mirrim sounded like Lessa now.

  I'll have to take that child in hand, Brekke thought idly, but an enervating lassitude had spread throughout her body and movement was impossible.

  "You get that lazy lump of brown bones out of his couch and down to the Feeding Ground, F'nor. Hurry it up. They'll be out to feast soon and you know what a feeding dragon does to commoner appetites. C'mon now. You, Canth, get out of your weyr."

  The last thing Brekke saw as F'nor obediently followed Mirrim out of the sleeping room was Canth's surprised look as she bore down on him, reached for his ear and began to tug.

  They were leaving her, Brekke thought with sudden terror. Leaving her alone ...

  "I am with you," was Canth's instant reassurance.

  The two lizards, one on each side of her head, pressed lovingly against her.

  "And I," said Ramoth. "I, too," said Mnementh and, mingled with those strong voices, were others, soft but present.

  "There," said Mirrim with great satisfaction as she reentered the sleeping room. "They'll eat and come right back." She moved quietly around the room, turning the shields on the glow baskets so that the room was dark enough for sleeping. "F'nor says you don't like to be left alone so I'll wait until he comes back."

  But I'm not alone, Brekke wanted to tell her. Instead, her eyes closed and she fell into a deep sleep.

  As Lessa looked around the Bowl, at the tables of celebrants lingering long past the end of the banquet, she experienced a wistful yearning to be as uninhibited as they. The laughter of the hold and craftbred parents of the new riders, the weyrlings themselves fondling their hatchlings, even the weyrfolk, was untinged by bitterness or sorrow. Yet she was aware of a nagging sadness, which she couldn't shake, and had no reason to feel.