The sunset is taking over the sky and Kristina is still sitting on the beach, no action other than changing her position and stretching out her legs. The breeze off the ocean has kicked up. I run a blanket out to her and place it around her shoulders, returning quickly to my kitchen counter where I continue to watch her. I run in to my bedroom to change into sweats and use the bathroom, and when I return she isn’t sitting on the beach anymore—she’s gone. I yell out, “Fuck me! Damn it!” and storm around my living room as I search for her on the beach.
“Is something wrong? I can leave.” I hear the sweet voice and turn around to find Kristina sitting on my couch.
“No, don’t leave. Nothing is wrong. I ran in the other room real quick and then you weren’t on the beach anymore, I thought you were gone.”
“I’m right here.”
“I see that now.”
“Tell me again, Chase.”
I smile and feel my body start to relax, “I love you, Kristina.”
She smiles and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I want to know what pushed her over the edge, but I’m afraid to bring it up. I need to know if I’m going to keep it from happening again. “Do you want to tell me what happened? I don’t want you having any questions about me or how I feel about you or what I want from you. I want you to be mine and I want you to be happy.”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now. You’re off tomorrow, right?”
“Yes.”
“Me, too.”
“Do you want to hang out with me tomorrow?”
“I was thinking I could stay here with you until we go to work on Friday.”
“That’s perfect.” I walk to her across the room and press my lips to hers while I wrap my arms around her. She reaches her arms around my neck and holds on as she wraps her legs around my waist. My girl, my Sweetness, is here with me.
I’m in my head and I just want to hold her. I want to spend time with her. Her body wrapped around me and holding onto me like this makes me want more, but that can wait. I could be sliding into her in less than thirty seconds. I don’t understand how she can go from wanting me to leave her alone to wrapped around me, and she probably still has me blocked. She confuses me. It doesn’t matter. I need to hold her. I grab the blanket off of my couch and walk out to my patio, carrying her with me. I sit down on the lounge chair and she’s basically sitting in my lap, facing me with her arms and legs wrapped around me. She takes over our kiss and is pushing me for more. I want her to know that we aren’t just sex. “Lay next to me here, Sweetness.” She looks at me a little funny and does as I ask. I lean back into the chair and kick my feet up, while she snuggles into my side using my chest as her pillow and burrowing her head in under my chin. She reaches her arm across me and holds my waist. I cradle her from behind and lean down to kiss her forehead, as we entangle our legs and I cover us with the blanket. I look up into the darkness to find the clear night sky, speckled with bright shining stars. “This is perfect, Sweetness. What can I do to make it perfect for you?”
“It’s perfect, Chase. You’re perfect. Am I still your girl?”
“You’ll always be my girl. You’re my everything. Please tell me why you think you aren’t strong enough to be with me. What happened to make you dump me? What did I do wrong?” I say as sweetly as possible while I have her in my arms and she can’t run away.
“I had time to think about being with you and the time we spent together. I’ve never been so reckless and I didn’t even care. You make me lose all rational thought and all I can think about is you, us, together. And you weren’t here. I was lost. I went to hang out with Sherry, learn to bake and watch the game. She tells me about meeting Rick, all I can see is that she’s the size of a house and I mentally slap myself for being careless. I can’t believe how stupid I was.”
“I’m so sorry, Sweetness. I told you I would always protect you and I mean it. I should’ve made sure you were protected. Honestly, I was already lost in you and you do something to me that I don’t understand. I couldn’t help myself and I’ve never had another girl bare before. You felt so good around me, fuck, just thinking about it I want you again. Hot, wet and tight around me with nothing in between us.” My stomach flips and my groin is doing somersaults. “It’s the nothing in between us part that means the most, it’s as close to you as I can get. I want to be as close to you as I can get,” Comes out raspy and sexy, completely out of my control. “I promise you it won’t happen again.”
“I started it and I didn’t give you any warning. It was all me.”
“No. I wanted you just like that and I could’ve pulled out sooner. It was me, too. Don’t blame yourself.”
She swallows hard. “I don’t want to be like them. I don’t want to be living together, married and pregnant that quick. I don’t think I can be what you really want.”
“Hold on. That’s not what I want.” She stops and looks at me. “I mean, that’s not what I want right now. I want a girlfriend who I love and I want her all to myself. I’m not sharing with any other dudes. I want to take her out. I want to buy her gifts. I want to spoil her. I want a girl who loves me and isn’t a slut after a player. I want to spend time together and build a life that we both want. I’d love to have my girl in my bed every night, but that doesn’t mean I expect her to move in with me. The other stuff, I don’t know. I’ve never thought about getting married or having kids. How are we supposed to know what we’ll want? I just want to have my girl with me and love her. Remember, I’m the guy who’s never even had a girlfriend. I have a steep learning curve, but I’m trying.”
Kristina smiles at me, “So, you really just want a girlfriend?”
“Well, not just a girlfriend. Someone special, I mean,” This is going to go all wrong and I already know it, “I always want to be with you. I don’t know what to call it, but I think girlfriend is where it starts. Fuck! I totally screwed that up, didn’t I?”
“No, I understand. You want me and only me. You want to keep me. You love me. You want to protect me. You want a future with me, but we don’t know what we want yet.”
I smile, “Yeah, does that work for you?” I can tell by the look on her face that I couldn’t have done much better. I get the Sherry part of the problem now.
“Yes,” She giggles happily. Someday, when I inevitably decide to propose it’s exactly how I hope her answer sounds.
“Good. So, my Sweetness, what would you like to do until we go to work on Friday? Can I take you out to dinner? Keep holding you under the stars? Whatever you want, you get.”
“Love me under the stars, Chase.”
I pull the blanket up over us and maneuver her onto my lap, facing me. I claim her mouth passionately. I know she’s mine. I hold her tightly against me and feel what it’s like to have her in my arms knowing that I love her. It’s different. I know I like her, care for her, that she’s special, but feeling what it’s like to love her and think I’d lost her. Feeling the pain in my chest. Now I understand because this feeling is so much more and I never want it to end. I run my hands along her body, feeling her and I know she wants more. Our electricity is shooting through me and I know she can feel it, too. I can feel her shaking.
“Chase, please.”
Fuck me. I want more, too. I don’t have a condom in reach when we are outside on the patio. Obviously, something I may need to resolve for the future. “I want you, too, Sweetness. Have to go inside for a condom.”
“No, I need you now. Please.” Her tone is needy and pleading. Fuck I want her bad. She reaches into my sweats and frees my dick, stroking it lightly and feeling how hard I am.
“You know I want you. Let’s go inside,” I plead with her, fighting my own urge to slide her right down on me and come hard inside her. I’ve always wanted to do that and I know it’s not an option.
“Now baby, please. Inside me.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is a disaster waiting to happen. I stand up and take her wi
th me, she automatically wraps her legs around me and holds on. “I know you said under the stars, and we’ll get there before the night’s over. I need you to believe in your heart that I’ll always protect you. You need to trust me and giving in to you for this will just make it worse. Sweetness, you need to know that I’d love to just slide into you and not worry about anything. No matter what, I’ll always take care of you and it’ll always be us. No blame, Sweetness.” I get to my bed and sit down with her still in my lap, her legs wrapped around me. She pushes my sweats down and is sliding out of her shorts before I can even reach for a condom. I grab her around the waist and hold her to me tightly, trying to gain control of the situation. “Kristina. Please work with me here.” I feel her rubbing against me and it’s driving me crazy. I quickly rip open the condom and roll it on, and she’s on me instantly. Her heat sliding down over me feels like I found my home and I never want to leave. Fuck me. She needs me, I can feel her need running through her body as she moves on me and I’m thankful that I’m what she needs. “Thank you, Kristina. Thank you for needing me. I love you, my Sweetness.” I pull her down to me, slowing her actions and holding her tight. I touch my lips to hers and she opens for me, inviting my tongue to dance with hers. I may have missed kissing her more than anything else. Her soft, full lips and her sweet taste are things I can’t get enough of. I run my fingers through her hair and hold her face to mine so I can keep kissing her and kissing her. I see things when I gaze into her eyes that I can feel in my heart. She moves her hips while we kiss and I’m overcome by emotion. I’m not used to this, I’ve never experienced this before. I, I just want to love her. I touch her face and I trace her features delicately.
“Chase, baby… oh, Chase.” She keeps moving on me and buries her face in my neck, kissing and sucking me there. She finds the right places and I grasp her hips, guiding her and meeting her with my own motions. Causing her to shake and shiver with every stroke, whimpering and moaning my name like I’m what she needs to survive.
“Is it too much, Sweetness? Don’t worry, I’ve got you. I’m right here with you. I didn’t know how much I need you and how much control your body has over mine. Oh, fuck, how do you make me feel like this?”
“More, Chase… please. I need…” She sits up straight and bounces on my hard dick, grinding against me at every contact.
“Oh, Kristina… Don’t stop, Sweetness, you’re going to make me come like that, oh fuck me. I can’t stop. Come with me.”
“I want to make you go first, Chase. Feel me around you. Feel me tight, hot and wet, riding you while you’re so hard up in me.” I reach for her and feel how hot and wet our connection is and I feel her shiver at my touch. I push up into her, meeting her movements and I’m pounding up into her, I need to come so bad. I touch her clit and she tightens, fuck me. I rub it and feel her get wetter. “Chase, I need you… more… more… please.” I want to roll her underneath me and take over, but we’re past that.
“I’ve got you, Sweetness.” I rub her clit faster with a light touch, getting harder as I go and she explodes around me.
“Oh, Chase…” I’m pounding in her and my dicks pulsating in pleasure inside her.
“Fuck you’re amazing! Oh fuck!” I call out as I’m completely drained. She collapses on me, hot and sweaty. I hold her tight as I try to catch my breath.
“Chase, do you still love me?”
I don’t know where that comes from, “Yes. I’ll always love you. Nothing is going to change that. You’re my girl. I promise you that I won’t break your heart, it’s safe with me.” Managing to get all the words out on the little breath I have. I squeeze her and kiss every piece of her that I can reach without letting her go.
She rolls out of my arms and I step away to handle business.
“How can you say that? You can’t know that for sure. You might feel different when you wake up tomorrow or next week.”
I wish I could make her understand. I wish I knew what her past had done to make her this way. “I don’t think love is something that goes away.”
She cocks her head to the side, considering my words.
“It’s the spark, the fireworks, that zing I get when I’m with you. The emptiness when you wouldn’t talk to me. The connection we have when we talk on the phone. The undeniable need between us, pulling us together. It’s never been that way with anyone else. I don’t want to be with anyone else.” I don’t know why I keep going on. I want her to agree with me. I want her to say she feels those things too. She doesn’t need to tell me she loves me, though I’d love to hear the words. I’ve never had a woman tell me they love me.
She smiles at me, “Okay.”
I get back in bed with intentions of showing her how I feel. I’ve got no clue what I’m doing.
Kristina
Chase is searching my eyes for something and not saying a word. His hazel eyes are darker and almost grey, yet bright against the teal sheets. He’s a guy. I know what he wants. Love me or not, they all want the same thing. I can see it in his hooded eyes. He wants sex like all of the rest of them. That’s what my ex-boyfriend wanted and as soon as I wasn’t there for him, he found it somewhere else. That’s not love. It’s getting satisfaction.
He leans over me, kissing my lips delicately and pulling back away. The single touch of his lips increases my heart rate as it zings through me. He’s focused on me and his smile widens, “I love you.” His tone is full of devotion and I don’t know why that makes me lust for him. He wraps his arms around me and holds me against him, his heart beating at a nervous pace. I nuzzle against his chest and lightly trace an outline of his muscles from his arm to shoulder, and then to his chest. Repeating the process back to where I started a few times while I lie silently in his strong protective arms. I trace up his neck to his lips and he releases a warm sigh. I kiss his neck and trace his lips again. He meets my finger with his tongue and kisses it. I want his lips. I pull my hand back and climb on top of him, needing my lips on him. I kiss him from his neck to his lips, dragging my tongue and retracing what I’d done with my finger. He meets my kiss willingly with desire. I’m already breathing hard and all I’ve done is kiss him. This is crazy! I want him so bad. No, I need him. His arms wrap around me and he takes control of our kiss, tugging on my lower lip. I can't help myself, I reach for his cock to guide him in.
“No, Sweetness. Me, not my dick.” He takes control of the situation, “Please. Let me love you.”
His hands warm and tender on my body, his lips attentively kissing me pull me into him. I want more and I feel his hand at his dick. It excites me. I want him inside me and I push back against him.
“If that’s what you want, it’s yours.” Yet he didn’t let me take him in. He sits up, “Hold on.” He stands and wraps his king sized comforter around us like a cloak with a hood over our heads. I hold on tight and wrap my legs around him while I kiss his neck, enjoying the private darkness he’s made for us. “I love your legs wrapped around me. Your lips on my neck may be my downfall.” He turns all the lights off including the patio lights as he walks through his bungalow carrying me. He takes us outside to his patio naked and in the darkness, walking out to the sand so we can see the white caps on the ocean and hear it’s roar. He claims my mouth as we stand there in our wide-open solitude. He turns to go back inside, but takes us to the back corner of his patio. He crawls onto a cushioned lounger on all fours as I cling to him. We lie there together, claiming each other with the blanket blocking out the world.
Chase mutters under his breath, “I have no idea what I’m doing. Sex won’t prove anything to you.” His kiss is aggressive and controlling, “I need you.” He settles himself between my legs and keeps kissing me. His hands at my breasts, but then searching for my hands. He intertwines his fingers with mine and everything around us stops for a moment in time, it’s just us. Nothing else exists as we gaze into each other’s eyes and giggle happily.
“Please, Chase.”
“I’m trying.”
/>
I don’t understand what he means. Trying? I don’t get it.
He lies on top of me and whispers in my ear, “You’re special to me. You’ll always be special to me. I’ll never hurt you.” He takes a deep breath, and pushes into me a little at a time. Tightening his fingers around mine, “Kristina…” He kisses me softly and open-mouthed. He’s blocked everything else from my world, he’s the only thing that exists.
He moves slowly, giving me more and more of him until our bodies mash together at our connection. He’s buried deep inside me, yet focused on my mouth. He’s somehow managing to continuously rub that spot that drives me crazy with little movement. But it’s his hands that give everything away. The muscles flexing in his hands and the grip his fingers have on mine. He’s not letting me go. He’s holding on tight and I find I am, too. I open my eyes and he’s looking at me. I try to pull my hands away and he won’t let me. “I want to touch you. I’ll give my hands back.” He kisses me with more need than I’ve ever felt and loosens his grip. I run my fingers through his hair and wrap my arms around his neck, wishing I could reach around his muscular shoulders. He’s hot to the touch and his warm breath is ragged at my ear. The friction between us growing as he moves faster. He pulls out and strokes back into me repeatedly, and completely. He’s amazing, huge and hard.
“I need you,” he declares on a whisper.
“You have me, Chase. I’m with you, baby.”
I feel his grin against my cheek and his hands move to my hips. He caresses my thighs and lifts my legs, catching them with his arms and coming down on me while he strokes into me. “I need to be closer to you. I don’t know how. I can only get deeper.”
Star-Crossed in the Outfield (All About the Diamond #4) Page 23
